tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-239550702024-03-19T05:01:28.050-05:00God's Blessings..this blog will be about my daily life in the WONDERFUL world that GOD has given me! he has SOOO blessed my life, every second, everyday of my life with my beautiful family....JAMES, my hubby, my son ALEX and my son MATTHEW and JOSHUA MICHAEL!! We are soooo happy to know GOD's LOVE!Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00844529195034049329noreply@blogger.comBlogger494125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23955070.post-64557346827976022022015-01-01T21:55:00.000-06:002015-01-02T21:56:56.333-06:002014 has come to an end....LET'S RING IN 2015!!HOLA MY LITTLE BLOG!! who knew it would be MONTHS since i posted something. life has come speeding by and it has been a whirlwind of a year!!! really, it feels like i have been in a FOG this year...could be my FIBRO and what they call FIBRO FOG, i guess any excuse i will take it! right? <br />
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Well, this year my boys turned ALEX 12, MATTHEW 10 and JOSHUA 7....these boys keep growing and growing and THANK YOU GOD they do! who knew that i would have such amazing boys and that they are just so wonderful and loving....they have grown into such beautiful and loving boys...they show us each day how much they know that they are LOVED by us their parents and how much we want them to know GOD'S LOVE....that HE is the most important person in the world and that they should love and honor him every moment of their lives...<br />
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This year we have had so many things happen to us. we bought a new BOAT for our family...this boat we call MATTHEW's boat because it is a PONTOON and that gives him the ROOM to roam around the boat so that he can go on the water. he had not been able to be on the water in our other smaller boat because he had no where to go. but now with this bigger boat, he is more comfy and he LOVES being back on the water!! we also love being able to take more family out on the boat with us. <br />
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MATT got his new KAYE WALKER and he has started to do his walking and getting stronger and doing SOOO GOOD! we are so proud of all his new accomplishments! He has been walking to and from the bathroom and also up and down the stairs....soooo proud of him and how much better he is getting on walking!! <3
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EASTER 2014 was really a nice family time with so many people there joining us at our home. The kids enjoyed being there and having all their cousins there to crack cascarones on each other! The food was amazing and all the goodies you just can't beat!! <br />
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Matthew started in a BASEBALL LEAGUE called the MIRACLE LEAGUE OF SAN ANTONIO....he was on the DODGERS team and boy, he LOVES it soooooo much! he has such a good time hitting home runs and being on his team....he played 2 seasons...the spring and the fall and he always gets so happy and excited when we pull into the parking lot....such a HAPPY BOY!! GO DODGERS!! <br />
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ALEX AND JOSH have also started their 3rd year of CYO BASEBALL THRU PRINCE OF PEACE! This will be Alex's last year playing baseball...this year he was with the ROYAL TITAN'S....and Josh was with the PADRES...and it was the first time he was with an all male team!! no more T-BALL for him!!! He's in coaches pitch and he did so well this year! Both boys did amazing! so proud of both of them!!<br />
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This year, we ended up going to GREAT WOLF LODGE for our summer vacation. we had soon much fun and soon enjoyed being with our little family, splashing around and just getting wet. what memories our boys will have of this time with each other.....they are just young for a little while and then they grow up and don't want to be with us anymore, so we have to enjoy. Life is amazing and we have been so happy that GOD has granted us each other...<br />
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Towards the end of this year, we have continued to be BLESSED with good health....ALL OF US, THANK YOU JESUS!! Matt has done amazing and we thank Him everyday for every moment...just watching all of us growing and getting healthy and happy is amazing....<br />
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So, as we closed 2014 and are now in 2015, we can only PRAY that we continue to grow and give THANKS to GOD for all the blessings in our life and Pray we have continued GOOD HEALTH and happiness...in HIM!!! BLESSING TO ALL!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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ISAIAH <i>“GOD IS MY SALVATION”</i><br />
GONZALEZ<br />
BIRTHDAY MAY 21<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH_C69a4mxrQLxLX4iBEiMACyBXnZTjCsfHJ25aOeCud7u_HMBb1e6rWRfRIx1v-8MUKD6OMad5crkebRUguT6C1AtVs_RvqYBmd23_ecVSvgdrM98503tWDdcwnGSeQPTv6Ir/s1600/DSC01699.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH_C69a4mxrQLxLX4iBEiMACyBXnZTjCsfHJ25aOeCud7u_HMBb1e6rWRfRIx1v-8MUKD6OMad5crkebRUguT6C1AtVs_RvqYBmd23_ecVSvgdrM98503tWDdcwnGSeQPTv6Ir/s320/DSC01699.JPG" /></a></div>MAY 21, 2004<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiflp0ruLEafMGd43GCVaFDmZ0qpGGGAcQ2ybTNsGsIsFNu0SnbuxmUhEABeGGszZk6J09F60Bjr9tw0fw5_Jvv9iBitJOrxebzTaY3I4Hov-nmuSNqXvDEwrLVPTXGVl5KOM13/s1600/IMG_2376.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiflp0ruLEafMGd43GCVaFDmZ0qpGGGAcQ2ybTNsGsIsFNu0SnbuxmUhEABeGGszZk6J09F60Bjr9tw0fw5_Jvv9iBitJOrxebzTaY3I4Hov-nmuSNqXvDEwrLVPTXGVl5KOM13/s320/IMG_2376.jpg" /></a></div>MATTHEW PLAYING BASEBALL 2014<br />
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Matthew Isaiah is 10 YEARS OLD, THANK YOU GOD! Wow, what an amazing and wonderful life we have had with matthew in our life. GOD IS SO GOOD! HE IS IN DOUBLE DIDGITS!!! wowowow, that is just such an INCREDIBLE AMAZING WONDERFUL MIRACLE OF GOD that little boy is! I sit here just in amazment that my beautiful boy is growing and getting bigger and stronger and just LIVING day by day. Such a MIRACLE he is, THANK YOU GOD!<br />
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My thoughts are never far away from what a miracle he is and where he has come from and where he is now. James and I are always marveling at what he is doing or things he does on a daily basis. He is such a CUTE kid and such a SMARTY!! Hard to believe that when he was born, they gave him NO real chance that he would live...that after he was born blue, needing an open heart surgery IMMEDIATELY, they didn't think he would make the trip from one hospital to another....that once he got there, that he would survive the open heart operation that he had when he was ONLY 8 HOURS OLD!! but he did, thank you JESUS! He was kept on an ECMO maching (https://www.dellchildrens.net/services_and_programs/ecmo/what_is_ecmo/) for his first 5 days because they could not take him off of the machines after his surgery, so they left him on this hoping that his body would recover and be able to take over the job of his lungs and heart....at 5 days (may 26, 2004), they told us they had to take him off this machine and either he was going to LIVE or DIE...and after doing so, we were told in the waiting room, that he had about 1% chance of survival and to pray for a miracle because that was the ONLY way that he would survive....going in to see our MIRACLE without that big ECMO machine and the room being so silent...the wonderful staff at METHODIST CHILDRENS hospital who took over and got us a CAKE and DECORATIONS for his 'birthday' party that we wanted to give him (since we didn't know if we would have anymore), and having all our family and friends there with us but most of all FINALLY BEING ABLE TO HOLD that precious baby in our arms for the first time!! what an JOY it was to hold him in our arms and FINALLY be able to carry him....thinking back, that hospital was just amazing to allow us to have this 'party' for him and allowing us to have so many of our friends and family there to celebrate his life!!! & at a PICU! I soooo love that hospital!!! They had a ceremony for us and the wonderful doctor read a beautiful poem for him, they did some prints of hands and feets, cut a lock of his hair for us, made a cast of his hands and feet, gave us a grief blanket and just supported us thru this amazing time in our life....and all the nurses came over and sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him too!! such a SPECIAL place that is!!! <br />
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After holding our beautiful baby boy until 2am, we finally put him down and fell asleep next to his bed only to wake up at 7am SCARED AND WORRIED thinking that we had missed his passing....only to find out he had his eyes open, grabing our fingers and wiggling his toes, all to the AMAZEMENT of the doctors and staff!!! HE MADE IT and is a MIRACLE to all the doctors and nurses that have known him especially those that knew all the personal, medical and private parts of his life while he as there in the hospital during those first days thru the 98 days he stayed in the PICU. They TRULY know what a miracle he is and what he went thru and what an almost IMPOSSIBILITY it was that he survived thru it all....and as I ALWAYS say, it is ONLY thru GOD that our son is HERE today!!! if you want to read about his miracle story, here is alink to the BLOG post: <a href="http://blessingsinmylife.blogspot.com/2008/05/miracle-matthews-story.html">http://blessingsinmylife.blogspot.com/2008/05/miracle-matthews-story.html</a> and one of his YOUTUBE videos: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E2QOasHR0A">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E2QOasHR0A</a><br />
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soooo, now on to the amazing news of the day....MATTHEW ISAIAH IS 10 YEARS OLD!!! double digits!! wooohooo!!! This little guy has been thru it all and ALWAYS with a smile!!! He is eating orally now, but it is not consistant, but we will TAKE IT! He only gets 3 cans of his PEPTIMUM JR formula a day and that is thru a bolus....and he has been able to maintain his weight and keep growing. He is now 55 lbs and 43”...To think this was the baby boy that would not 'make it thru the night'....THANK YOU JESUS!! He is really vocal, although still non verbal, but he CAN get his meaning and wants across for the most part. I think A LOT of his fustration has to do with the lack of being able to communicate...he does have a communication device but it is really big and HEAVY...but GOD WILLING next year he will get the new and improved device on an PAD platform which will be soooo much lighter for him! :) He is learning to use his KAYE walker. He walks with assistance everywhere he goes and he helps with his transfer and such too. He is soooo SMART! He is doing amazing with his teacher and has excelled and made all his goals! He LOVES playing WII resort and playing the SWORD FIGHTING game. He also enjoys WII SPORTS baseball and bowling game. If he could, he could play ALL DAY LONG! On top of that, he LOVES his iphone and enjoys watching YOUTUBE VIDEO's all day....just different stuff like, people playing WII, seasame street, and he especially loves any video's that are of HIM or our family! He can watch those over and over! ESPECIALLY if dad is either talking or in the picture!! and he LOVES playing BASEBALL!! He recently was in a special team called THE MIRACLE LEAGUE OF SA and he was on the LEIJA DODGERS team!! he was soooo PROUD when he hit the baseball and dad and him ran around the bases!!! he LOVED playing on his team!! just like his brothers! Wow, the things he can do! He loves being right in the middle of everything and just BEING there!! He loves his family!! and now that we bought the PONTOON BOAT, well, he LOVES being on the water and then jumping in the water and swimming around!! :) but to get him out is a DIFFERENT story!! boy, that child does NOT want to get back in the boat!!!!!! ;)<br />
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LIFE with matthew is just so amazing and wonderful!! THANK YOU GOD, this year has been a HEALTHY year!! hard to believe but we are ever so THANKFUL that he has really only had about 3 illness the WHOLE YEAR!! amazing! I keep waiting for it but nope! LOVE it! And I know he has enjoyed the stress free year without having to have the drama of having to do drs appts, meds, suctions, treatments, oxygen etc! AGAIN, THANK YOU JESUS!! I won't lie by saying I am not 'waiting' for it because I am!! just always worry when it will hit!!! :) as for the other medical issue, well, it's been over 36 months since his last BIG seizure!! and since aug 2010, he has had only 2 seizures!! woohooo!! thank you GOD for that!!!!!! but we are ever vigilant, never taking it for granted that he could get sick or have a seizure at ANY moment! But that has been our life for the last 10 years....knowing that every SECOND of his life is a precious miracle and that because of all he has gone thru, we know that ANYTHING can happen!! but we are sooooo GREATFUL for the last 10 years we have had with our MATTHEW!!! i made a movie for MATTHEW with pictures of his last 10 years...here is the link to it: ***UPLOADING TO YOUTUBE AND WILL POST SOON!****<br />
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SOOOO, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIRACLE MATTHEW ISAIAH!!! with your birth you have brought MORE life, love and happiness to our home and we thank GOD everyday for the true BLESSING you are in our lives!!! WE LOVE YOU AND ARE SOOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!! PLEASE GOD, GIVE US MANY MANY MANY TO INFINITY MORE YEARS WITH MATTHEW!!!<br />
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<i>“WITH MAN THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE” <br />
MATTHEW 19:26</i><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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this week, I am just continued to be in AWE of my husband...really, I KNOW I have ALWAYS been sooooo BLESSED that GOD chose him for me...our love for each other has always been THRU GOD...from our first meeting thru today, every moment GOD has guided us and just kept us on track...but this past week, I was just in AWE of what a HARD WORKER my husband is...i have always know that because that is just who james is...he will NEVER sit back and watch others do his work or their work and not offer to help or be right in the mix of it...and this week was just such an example...the reason he was a week earlier than everyone else was because he was there to help another of his soldier get everything ready for their 2 weeks out in the field! And boy, he worked sooooo hard this week...and still EVERY MORNING, went downstairs to the breakfast the hotel provided, got food for ALL OF US and brought it up to our room so that when everyone woke up, they could have some breakfast there in the room, before he left for work!! yep, he is THAT man, that WONDERFUL KIND OF MAN....again, BLESSED!!! and every night, came home (sometimes by 7, others as late as 1030) and rolled around with the boys, took the boys swimming or we went out to eat, or brought home dinner....and I see what a hard working man he is, what a WONDERFUL father and husband he is...and just now, saturday, he drove over 8+ hours (due to problems with some hummers and other issues) in a convoy with all his soldiers getting to FT HOOD, so that he could spend the next 2 weeks out in the HOT SUN, in the field, with no A/C doing his job and doing it WONDERFULLY....all for his family....and he will do it with a smile and with such an AMAZING attitude that most of his soldiers all want him around because he has that personality and that kind of attutide that it lights up the people around him....that's my husband and this week was just such a example of why I love him soooo much and why my children's love for him is just such a BEAUTIFUL thing to witness....THANK YOU SWEET GOD FOR MY BEAUTIFUL BLESSING OF A HUSBAND....THANK YOU for EVERYTHING that he is!! <br />
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and then on to my revelations....it was such an total act of FAITH IN GOD for me to say YES to go this week to FT HOOD BY MYSELF with only the boys....i have never gone that far by myself with the boys (took us about 3 hours)....but I said YES....and GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD...he watched over us and got us safetly there and BACK!! but in going over there, I feel so much BETTER about myself and being able to really get out of the house BY MYSELF with my boys...now some people might not understand WHY it's such a BIG DEAL going out by myself with my boys....mommies do it ALL the time...well, what you have to understand is that it's a BIG deal because my beautiful son MATTHEW, who is 9 years old and has cerebral palsy and other special needs, is non-ambulatory and non verbal and I have to be able to get him out of bed, dressed, on and off the bathroom, down the stairs, fed, outside, up and in my SUV and continue this thru out the whole day and also take him on/off car, in and out of his wheelchair (not to mention getting the w/c in/out too) and of course he LOVES to ask to go to the bathroom if we are somewhere new OVER AND OVER!! :)....dare I mention that he is now OVER 50 POUNDS and is OVER 42” tall?! YEP , MY GROWING BOY! But I just PROVED to MYSELF that YES, I can do it and I HAVE done it but this time, it was 5+ DAYS of it all by myself...i usually have either nursing help or james help but I did it all on my own for MORE than 5 days AND I went OUT OF TOWN!! don't get me wrong, I had issues with my back during the trip and my quads and bicepts were killing me but the whole point is I DID IT!!! allll thru the GRACE OF GOD!! I felt so EMPOWERED doing it!! and it just was a testiment to me that I could do it and not to DREAD it...be cause I do go out with all my boys but it is usually only to church (when james is working on the weekend) and that is it....but after this weekend, I look forward to going to the store and where ever I need to go...this week, I TOOK THE BOYS TO THE MOVIES!! :) yep, we went to see TURBO while we were down there in killeen...(we did get lost but it was the !@#$% maps app on my phone!! :( )but again, it was OK...i used another app and found the right place...and it was OK!!! I am EXCITED now to do something with the boys....i know it is going to be hard....i know that I have to be VERY CARE so I don't hurt myself, because that is one of my BIGGEST FEARS....if I hurt myself, I will be unable to help my son....be unable to care for him AT ALL...and that is what has held me back from venturing far from home....because I have to LIFT him into the EXPEDITION, LIFT him into and out of his w/c....and doing that, at him being over 50 lbs and me being just shy of 5 feet tall, it is pretty difficult BUT “..thru GOD all things are POSSIBLE...” Matthew 19:26<br />
<br />
soooo, then we got ANOTHER BLESSING from GOD...on Monday evening, there at the hotel in killeen, we were sooooooo BLESSED to find out that because of some mix ups out in the field, the few soldeir there all got to be put in a hotel for the week so that ment that WE DID NOT HAVE TO PAY OUT OF POCKET FOR OUR HOTEL ROOM which we were originally doing!! wowowowowowowow....what a BLESSING because it was going to be a couple of $$ shy of $400!!!! whew! James and I could not PRAISE AND THANK GOD enough!! GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD! When that happened, I just felt GOD's hand in us being there with james....His Love and His BLESSINGS on our family....<br />
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so, THANK YOU for anyone who read this far....i just really wanted to share my happiness, our BLESSINGS, and how I feel EMPOWERED now....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<br />
it's been a crazy couple of months now and i just wonder how his little body is taking it all....i know that his lungs are very congested and hearing his X-ray were very difficult to diagnose because of his severe chronic lung disease was really scary to hear....his lungs on an xray are suppose to be BLACK (a normal lung) but his are almost all WHITE with all the scar tissue and his chronic lung disease...that is what scares me the most..he has been getting sick soooo much this last couple of months and they were ALL RESPIRATORY...i know that all these oral steroids, antibiotics and treatments can't be good for him and i just wonder...i KNOW GOD is taking care of him and i DO leave my feelings and troubles at HIS feet....i am just a mommy that sees her little boy struggling and breathing fast and HATING his vest treatments and nebulizer...my beautiful son is so strong and such a loving little boy....he goes thru so much but is always happy at the end of the day....what a BLESSING IN MY LIFE he is and i just PRAY that he gets HEALTHY and STRONG so that he can have a break from these illness and be able to be healthy without all this stuff going on...my little boy....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbirTSwpnbQruHzdvznp20p0dCqM8CqJZ3kbEEKTw2eAgjk7sqanwvBauCqiGclQDOUUh7lYCZjfOY262e5Av9zEucQFJOxNr29kzAQ0FAWAXdpS_4QGoX7h8oCJjnIY1c0ktw/s1600/860673_10200582251104556_1886166878_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="180" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbirTSwpnbQruHzdvznp20p0dCqM8CqJZ3kbEEKTw2eAgjk7sqanwvBauCqiGclQDOUUh7lYCZjfOY262e5Av9zEucQFJOxNr29kzAQ0FAWAXdpS_4QGoX7h8oCJjnIY1c0ktw/s320/860673_10200582251104556_1886166878_o.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I am so happy to announce that my only sibling, has had his 1st baby!!! well, he didnt but his wife did!! :) wow, she is BEAUTIFUL and i am soooo far away from her! :( she was born today over in HAWAII where he is stationed at. wow, i am so happy for them! it's funny, i was thinking about the fact that he has only ever seen my 3 boys as babies only my oldest boy! all the others were born while he was over seas! and here we are again, with it only being just he and i left in our little family, both our parents have passed away, he is in HAWAII and i am in TEXAS! BUT GOD WILLING we will be going to be going out there in MAY so that i can meet this little lady! we are alllll sooooo excited about it! what a BLESSING it will be to meet her and my SIL!! wooohooo!! <br />
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sooo, just wanted to share my beautiful niece!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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FOR 2012...the year of MANY ups and downs....for me DAZED is the word of the year because sooooo much happened to me personally in that year...and i don't know if it was because of my pain medication or just everything personally that was happening to me that i was constantly in a DAZE...things that i normally did such as keep up with matthew's appts, meds, numerous phone calls that i NEED to make and just generally all the stuff that comes with having a special needs little guy i was putting off, FORGETTING (a BIG no-no) and just NOT DOING THEM...it was crazy when BEFORE i had been soooo organized, had my book with aaaallllll my notes and such and this year....uh...not so much!! i can honestly say, i have NO RECORD of names i have spoken to when calling for important things or any NOTES other than those on little bits of papers all over the house that i know i can't put together!!! :( so not MEEEE!!! AND THEN with the homeschooling front...i have taken such a BACK SEAT to it and pretty much let ALEX do what he needs to do and nothing else...we have been soooooo busy with appts for matthew, appts for ME, and playdates/extra classes for ALEX that we are constantly on the GO GO GOOOO!!! it's crazy!! but this year has been full of BLESSINGS as i CONSTATLY say about my life...even with all the crazy and dazed feeling, i STILL KNOW and FEEL like i am BLESSED!!! GOD IS SOOOO GOOD and has ALWAYS been in me, with me... He is at the START of me and everyday is such a BLESSING no matter what the day brings...i feel like no matter what, because i have GOD in my life, it will be a BLESSED DAY!!!! :)<br />
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this year, my children, THANK YOU GOD, have grown sooooooo much!!! my ALEX turned 10 this year (double digits, baby!) and he is now in 5th grade! he is a couple of inches shorter than me and keeps getting BIGGER!! he is sooooooo smart!! REALLY not an exaggeration or mommy prejudice! :) he has such an INCREDIBLE mind and such an AMAZING memory! he can recall things that i don't even remember and he has to remind us about it. and wowowowowow, on his schooling...watching him figure out all his subjects and KNOW how to do it and also, impressing the HECK out of us when a cousin 2 years older than him, bringing over some HOMEWORK for school (math) and the cousin was having a problem and didn't understand the math and alex coming over, casually looking it over in 2 secs, KNOWING THE ANSWER and answering CORRECTLY!!! crazy! and him HELPING that cousin with the rest of his work! and then same with other subjects he had brought over!! MY BIG BOY!!!! and he started CYO BASEBALL this year with our church and watching him GROW from NEVER having played ANY sport before to joining a team that was ESTABLISHED, intergrating himself and really coming from never played baseball (batted/catching balls/RUNNING/throwing balls, etc) to after the season, LOVING it and really knowing how to PLAY the game and do everything he NEEDED to do without being scared!!! my, how he has GROWN!!! and in his FAITH, he is AMAZING!! he LOVES GOD and he probably knows MORE about the bible and our FAITH than james and i combined!! so proud of our little boy!!<br />
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and then there is MATTHEW....he turned 8 this year...another miracle in our life!! wowow...time has FLOWN with this little boy too..watching him get BIGGER, is just so amazing and we MARVEL at everything he has DONE and is LEARNING!!! this year, he made his FIRST COMMUNION!!! wooohooo! we are sooo proud of him and what an ACCOMPLISHMENT that is! and he is now in 3rd grade and is doing WELL with his amazing teacher. unfortunately, this year has brought FUSTRATION to him which in turns causes him to lash out sometimes because we DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! :( he does not do it often but he gets sooo frustrated! poor guy! can't wait and i PRAY he will either learn to talk or sign or use his TALKER! :) he has taken off on EATING like a champ orally and has gained weight. he KNOWS HOW TO SPELL HIS NAME PHONICALLY and if you give him the letters, he can spell it that way too! he is also learning to READ and knows all his ABC, NUMBERS, PHONICS, SHAPES, OBJECTS, ETC and we are just crazy proud of all he has done!! on the flip side, HEALTH WISE, it has been an UP AND DOWN YEAR...seizure wise, it was 27.5 MONTHS without seizures until dec 9th when he had one at 0430 and lasted for at least 20 mins...so, our count down is back down to 1....his LUNGS have been a BIG PROBLEM this year with CONSTANT illness, wheezing, junky, on crazy amounts of STEROIDS, TREATMENTS, antibiotics, doctors appts, etc ALLLLL YEAR LONG!! :( NOT a good year for his health...he is doing well with his CPAP, and through all the illness, he is STILL OUR HAPPY BOY!!! so proud of him!<br />
<br />
and our SURPRISE BLESSING JOSHUA...he turned 5 this year and it has been a BLESSED year for him!! he is such a HAPPY boy and full of life and mischief! we were sooooo BLESSED that he was our little surprise. he is our BABY and just watching him grow up is bittersweet because we know there will be no more after him!! :( even though i wanted another little one but GOD has other plans and that is ok. but he is our little sports guy. he LOVES to be playing ball...this year, he started CYO BASKETBALL and he was soooo good!! he is still so good and one of the better players! :) and then he also played CYO BASEBALL T-BALL!! awwww....watching him out there is such a JOY!! :) AND this year he is in KINDERGARDEN!! and he is learning all his phonics and such and is doing REALLY good in his schooling....soooo proud of this little guy!!!<br />
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James is doing GREAT!!! he has a GREAT position at work and his working sooooo hard and doing SOOOO GOOD!! we are so proud of all the hard work he does for our family! he is now also a COACH for CYO sports so he is active with the boys and their practices and games...he is in his ELEMENT with all of them and enjoys being out there with the boys and the KIDS! it's been a crazy year for all the traveling and away time the military has had him doing this year....and next year promises more of the same but it is ALLLLLL for PROMOTION as he makes his way to E-8!!! so we will take that!! he soooo deserves all of that and MORE because he is one of the BEST EMPLOYEES the military has and that is not just a PROUD WIFE talking either!! :) he has gotten a lot of recognition from his superiors and we are really just soooo proud of him!!! and this year HE EARNED HIS 20 YEARS OF MILITARY SERVICE FOR OUR GREAT COUNTRY!!! wowowowowowow....what an ACCOMPLISHMENT!! again, so proud of him!! unfortunately, it is not ACTIVE years so we still have a little over 8 years left to reach 20 YEARS ACTIVE DUTY FULL RETIREMENT years!! and that is what he is working for....we PRAY that the US ARMY continue to keep him employed!! we are SOOOOOO BLESSED to be ACTIVE DUTY MILITARY!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!<br />
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AS FOR MEEEEEE....hmmmmmmm...it has been as always a BLESSED YEAR!!! this year, my pain in my arm had unfortunately gotten WORST...sooo bad that i couldn't even shake hands, play wii or any other activities that required me to use my right arm WITHOUT EXTREME PAIN!!! i had complained to my DOCTOR (dx TENNIS ELBOW (for the 5+ year), i had complained to my rheumitologist also and gotten a STEROID SHOT and told it was TENNIS ELBOY (for the 2+ year) and put BACK into PHYSICAL THERAPY (JAN 2012)...and during my evaluation the physical therapist found a BALL on my forearm and told me that that didn't feel right and i needed to get an MRI....and what a LIFE SAVER THAT WAS!!! :) because, after FINALLY getting an MRI (IN APRIL), it was found that i had a TUMOR and was IMMEDIATELY s (within 4 days) was being seen at the ORTHOPEDIC ONCOLOGY DEPARTMENT AT SAMMC!!! :( yep, they didn't know what type of tumor but they felt that it COULD BE CANCER....and ultimately IT WAS SYNOVIAL SARCOMA===CANCER....i really never thought i would ever have that DX but there it was....and the doctor was concerned enough that he needed it out NOW....so on JULY 31ST, 2012, it was roomed and thru the GRACE OF GOD, because of HIS BLESSINGS, they were able to get the WHOLE THING OUT due to the MIRACLE that it was ENCAPSULATED so i didn't have to have CHEMOTHERAPY/RADIATION!!! PRAISE GOD! but now, i have to have PET SCANS every 3 months and see the doctor ever 3 months for 2 years and then move on 2 twice a year for 3 years then yearly for the rest of my life!! :( and now i know WHY we could not get PREGNANT again even when it was timed right on etc....GOD HAD OTHER PLANS!! :) so, again, BLESSING BLESSING BLESSINGS!!! other than that, just a regular crazy, DAZED YEAR!!!<br />
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AND FOR THIS YEAR, 2013 my word(s) of the year would be FAITH/BLESSED....WHY 2? BECAUSE I HAVE FAITH, I AM BLESSED.....I AM BLESSED TO HAVE FAITH!! GOD will be utmost in my life and MY FAITH will be front and center. i pray i will learn more about GOD, learn more ABOUT MY FAITH and just get closer to that which has LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY, that has BLESSED ME AND MY FAMILY, that who has GIVEN ME SO MANY REASONS TO BE HAPPY!!!!! and that would be GOD! i am going to devote this year and ALWAYS to learning more about GOD and about my faith....I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM!!!<br />
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sooooo, that is it....2012 is gone and 2013 is here...i will plan to make this year a BLESSED year and a YEAR OF FAITH....this year will GOD WILLING bring a new blessing in my brothers life.....a BABY!!!! and we will GOD WILLING be going to see her and my family and i will be traveling to HAWAII IN MAY!!! WOOOHOOOO!!! yes, all 5 of us!! wowowowowow....we will keep trucking along and just enjoying life, loving my family!!!<br />
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GOD'S BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE AND FOR THE YEAR TO COME!!!! love ya'll!!! <div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00844529195034049329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23955070.post-67721853055045978422012-10-12T19:50:00.001-05:002012-10-12T19:50:25.042-05:00anointing of the sick today....today was a great day...i had bible study this morning at my church and we were on ACTS 5:1-?? I had all the kids with me because TODAY matthew and i were going to meet with father pat and get an ANOINTING OF THE SICK which is one of the sacrament in CATHOLIC CHURCH! :) i never really new that we could get anointed in times of illnes or before surgery and such until i went to the ACTS RETREAT a couple of years ago....sooo matthew got his done because on MONDAY he will be having dental surgery and have a BRONCOSCOPY done all under GENERAL ANESTHESIA which he has not been under since 2007 when he had a RXN to the anesthesia and went into MOBITZ 2 COMPLETE HEART BLOCK...and it was a VERY scary time for us....soooooo, he was anointed, it was BEAUTIFUL....and then i was anointed too because on tuesday, i go for a PET SCAN to see if there is any more cancer in my body...it was BEAUTIFUL and i am at PEACE after being anointed...<br />
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today at the bible study, i am slowly understand and having things in my life be CLEARED UP...what do i mean? AGAIN, GOD has spoken to me about events that had happened in my life....we were talking about ACTS CHAPTER 5 and how the apostles had been beaten for their believe in JESUS and how they REJOICED in being beaten because if they were being BEATEN then that ment that they were doing what they were suppose to be doing in spreading and evangelizing JESUS name!! so they REJOICED in their pain!! they remember that JESUS had said that they were going to be beaten, killed, etc all the thing that had happened to JESUS in HIS NAME....that all will be happening to them like it happened to Him....and what spoked to me was that 8 years ago, what i did was CLEARED up for me..in my PAIN and in the crazyiness of everything that was happening to me and my family with matthew...thru it ALL with matthew heart issues, his surgery, them telling us that he was going to pass away on his 5th day...thru it ALL, i was PRAISING GOD, THANKING GOD and just loving on matthew and just PRAISING GOD for the 39 weeks (pregnancy) and 5 days of matthew's life and all the beautiful memories that we had with him....people didn't and COULDN'T understand why we were not crying, screaming or asking WHY HIM GOD...we never did that...we ACCEPTED what was going on and all we gave matthew up to GOD and told GOD that whatever is HIS will we ACCEPT it and we will still PRAISE HIM. we prayed for a miracle and we PRAYED sooooooo hard for healing but thru it all we thanked and praised GOD...people just didn't understand....and i couldnt explain all i knew was that i had TOTAL FAITH IN GOD that this was HIS WILL and that there was NOTHING WE COULD DO ABOUT IT...IT WAS HIS WILL...<br />
<br />
thru this bible studying, i am learning soooo much and GOD is opening my EYES UP to GOD AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME...he is speaking to me sooooo much....I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE....I PRAISE YOUR NAME!!! :) <div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<br />
this week, we were studying ACTS 4:1-?? and it was really awesome to do a study on this...it had to do with how PETER AND JOHN were arrested because they had healed a beggar at the temple enterance and the rabbi's and leaders heard about it and they were upset because he did it in THE NAME OF JESUS! and they were upset because he kept praising JESUS and they wanted none of that...they eventually had to let them go because they DID NO WRONG...this chapter brought home the thought that JESUS had to go thru a lot on his journey...and that because they loved him so much, they would also have to go thru the same things....prison, fights, etc...and they took on that cross because all they wanted to do was EVANGELIZE about the LOVE, POWER that is JESUS!!! AND one of the things that was brought home was if you are going to joyously speak about JESUS, praise JESUS you must do it BOLDLY!!! with all your heart and soul....<br />
<br />
well, what was funny was that as i was listening to this, GOD put in my head an incident that happened over 6 years ago with a very then close family member of mine...we had words (as emails do) about my miracle matthew, about LIFE, about how powerful prayer is and what a BEAUTIFUL thing GOD is and how HE can perform miracles...we had a difference of opinions and i was told that THERE IS NO GOD...needless to say, i was EXTREMELY shocked when told this...well, i BOLDLY EVANGELIZED to this person about JESUS and the beautiful things he had done for my family and most especially MATTHEW....needless to say, we have not spoke in over 6 years to my saddness....after this day in bible study, i was soooooo HAPPY that the one thing i NEVER regretted was that i BOLDLY proclaimed my FAITH and my LOVE OF JESUS... i have tried numerous times in the last 6 years to try to mend the fences and try to get them to talk to me but to no avail...this person wants nothing to do with me and for alllllll of my growing up years, from itty bitty to 6 years ago, we have always written to each other and talked to each other...it is so sad to me that i have no part in that life now...and they have none in mine....BUT TODAY, I WAS TOLD BY GOD THAT HE WAS PROUD OF ME...i was at PEACE with what happened 6 years ago and that NOTHING i did was wrong....that we no longer talk is just cross i have to bear....i think of my family memeber OFTEN because i have always had contact with them but GOD WILLING someday, we will once again communicate....i will wait for them to contact me because my heart has grown heavy with the MANY times that i have tried to apologize and try to get them to talk to me and i won't go there anymore...and i have not in over 2 years...<br />
<br />
LIFE IS GOOD....GOD IS GOOD....THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING TO ME GOD AND EASING MY THOUGHTS!!! I LOVE YOU!<br />
<br />
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<br />
sooooo, all of this i learned ON MY BIRTHDAY! what an AMAZING GIFT i was given to have KNOWLEDGE about such a powerful and beautiful NAME...<br />
<br />
my family and i had an amazing time on my birthday....we ordered in pizza, watched THE AVENGERS and just relaxed and enjoyed our time together...i LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<br />
anyway, today, joshua, our baby, turned 5...hard to believe that 5 years ago, my baby boy was born and daddy went a way to IRAQ 2 days later!!! yep, it is something you NEVER forget...but to see our baby boy growing up...it is just AMAZING TO ME...and he is TOTALLY A MOMMA'S BOY!! and i LOVE IT! :) he just loves to be near me, and just loves to cuddle with me and rub my ear...LOVE IT!! this year, he wanted a machine gun that makes all kind of noises...he LOVES those and then some bay blades too....we just chilled out and ordered in and played WII for a long time...he LOVES to do that...awwwww....my littlest guy is now 5!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<br />
and so the years have happened and we are now 10 years into my sons beautiful life...i can't believe that a DECADE has happened already in a BLINK of the eye...wowow...i THANK GOD for every SECOND of his little life!! he is ALMOST as tall as i am...probably by the end of the YEAR he might pass me up!! who would have believed that (and i can already hear my nieces saying that it is EASY to pass you up, aunt chayo!!:) alex has done AMAZING in his schooling years!! he is now going to 5th grade and he LOVES HOMESCHOOLING!! he is soooo smart and he amazes me with his thinking process and also he can remember sooo many things! and what an AMAZING BIG BROTHER he is to both of his brothers! he takes care of both of them and is always willing to help with them...even, helping with MATTHEW when there is a medical problem! and this child has gone thru soooooooooo much too in his short life. he has practically LIVED at the DOCTORS OFFICE/HOSPITAL with matthew...and thru all of these appointments where he has had to be QUIET for a long period of times and being such a a good kiddo and just sitting there playing quietly and understanding that this was serious ....wowowowow...i love this child soooo much and i always PRAY TO GOD that HE GUIDE me in the RAISING of my children ESPECIALLY ALEX since he and i are soooo alike that we are SOOOOOO STUBBORN!!! <br />
<br />
soooo....TODAY, AUGUST 10TH WE CELEBRATE OUR SON'S LIFE....WE GIVE GLORY TO GOD FOR BLESSING US WITH THAT BEAUTIFUL CHILD AND WE PRAY THAT HE CONTINUES TO GROW AND STAY HEALTHY AND STRONG!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU, SON!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<br />
<br />
sooo, the day started with getting up early and getting ready in some comfy clothes and no food or drinks since midnight...i COMPLETELY forgot about my paralyzed tummy and that i SHOULD have tried to empty it a couple of days BEFORE HAND....oh well, too late now! so, my MIL came over and will be staying with the boys for me and of course matts nurse will be taking care of him...honestly felt surreal because i was not apprehensive or upset or worried or ANYTHING...it just felt like another normal day! i was not even NERVOUS!!!! SO, james and i left the house about 0730 and headed over to the medical center area to get ready...it was AWESOME having james there...i knew that he was going to have to take a lot of the load for at LEAST couple of days until i was back on my feet but i didn't feel bad and i KNEW that he could do it!! i remember when i have been on my own with my 3 kids when james was deployed to IRAQ and every time that he has to leave for duty for a couple of days-weeks...so i KNOW if i can do it, so can HE!! <br />
<br />
soooo, we get there and head up to the front desk and as i am getting my paperwork, my phone rings and i step away to answer because the number looks familiar and as i am talking to the lady, james is like pointing to the lady with her back to me at the desk who is CALLING AND TALKING TO ME ON THE PHONE!! HAHAHAHAHA...pretty funny stuff!! we all laughed about it! so, i finish my paperwork and with in 15 mins, we was taken back and i was told to remove everything and put on my gown/hat etc...unfortunatly, it NEVER fails every time that i have a surgery it almost NEVER fails that AF ARRIVES!! GRRRR...anyway, TMI...so, i laid down and just chit chatted with james and the nurse and answered tons of questions and signed some forms...she started an IV on me (after blowing one attempted on my left inner forearm) she started one on OLD FAITHFUL which is my left hand! :) there are soooo many scars there from the numerous IV's i have had....anyway, the resident came in, then the DR and then the anesthesiologist...we all had tons of questions on what to expect...he marked my right arm and showed me more or less how big the cut was going to be...WOWOWOWOW...i didn't know it was going to be that BIG! about 3-4 inches...pretty long..oh well!! i am getting ready to have enough scars to compete with matthews scars BUT HIS ARE WAY COOLER!! ;-) anyway, after james and i blessed each other, they put some comfy meds in my IV and off i went!! wowow, it didn't take but a minute!!!! <br />
<br />
so, i wake up with my arm in a HUGE cast looking thing....and in PAIN...they end up giving me the MOST MORPHINE they could and i still would not get rid of the pain, then they started me on the stronger stuff and it took a couple more shots of that before FINALLY had the pain under control. i explained it was probably because i took pain meds daily that it was not working for me...they agreed! anyway, i was off the bed and in a recliner with in 30 mins of waking up and OUT THE DOOR within about another 30 mins!! crazy how quick they get you in and out!! the surgery lasted about 1 1/2 hours long, 45 asleep in recovery and then another 45-1 hour after waking up out the door! ********THEY TOOK OUT MY TUMOR (SYNOVIAL SARCOMA) WHICH WAS ENCASED, AND THERE WAS A NERVE ON TOP OF THE TUMOR (WHICH EXPLAINED MY EXTREME PAIN THAT I HAVE BEEN HAVING AND ALSO WHEN I HIT IT OR WHEN MY NERVE STARTED FIRING) IT MENT I WAS GOING TO BE NUMB IN THAT ARE (WHICH IS FINE WITH ME BECAUSE AFTER ALL THE PAIN I HAVE HAD, I DEFINETLY NEEDED THE RELIEF WITH THAT...THEN AFTER THEY TOOK THE TUMOR OUT, HE FOUND SOME MORE SUSPICIOUS LOOKING STUFF AND HE REMOVED THAT TOO ALONG WITH SOME HEALTHY TISSUE TO GET IT BIOPSED....THEY STILL DONT' KNOW IF I WILL HAVE CHEMO/RADIATION THERAPY AFTERWARDS...ONCE THEY GET THE RESULTS, THEY WILL HAVE A ROUND HOUSE MEETING AND TALK ABOUT OPTIONS WITH ALL THESE ONCOLOGIST AND OTHER DRS, THEN WHEN I GO FOR MY FOLLOW UP MEETING ON THE 13TH, I WILL HOPEFULLY GET THE RESULTS THERE*********<br />
<br />
anyway, back to me, as we leave the parking garage, i started feeling sick ended up tossing up (or my interpretation of it since i can't really do it) and did it again when i got home a couple of times...crazy!! after that i just chilled on my couch with my arm up and just trying to keep ahead of the pain and the SWELLING on my hand...as long as i kept my arm up, it kept the swelling down a bit...after that, i just layer down for a bit and relaxed...THANK YOU GOD FOR A GREAT SURGERY DAY!!!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<br />
well, this vacation will be going down as the THE BEST VACATION EVER!!!!!!! it felt so awesome and we had so much family time!! and you know that we were just together the WHOLE time and you know this because if you know ME you know that i am a READER..i love to read and i can put down a book a day and during a normal week, i usually read at LEAST 2 books...and i think the WHOLE 5 DAYS i think i read about 50 PAGES...PAGES...PAGES!! that is crazy!! so NOT ME! we had soooo much fun and it was just GREAT to be together...the LODGE was like that...all we had is FAMILY TIME...from the water park, to running around the lodge looking for clues for the MAGI game...it was just amazing!!! and what was funny, is that in a LITTLE park of my mind, i thought of this vacation as MY MAKE A WISH vacation!! cause i KNEW that i was going to have surgery on my cancer on tuesday 31st and i didn't know WHAT i was going to have to do after the surgery wether i was going to have to do chemo/radiation....so, i want to think and i KNOW that GOD gave us this AMAZING VACATION so that we could just be with family and just be TOGETHER...I THANK YOU GOD FOR BLESSING OUR FAMILY WITH SUCH AN AMAZING VACATION!!! <3 <3<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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after that, we just picked up some to go meals, went back to the hotel room and ate and relaxed and watched a movie....afterwards, all the boys went SWIMMING for a couple of hours...it was really nice if a little breezy...i just hung out and watched the boys and enjoyed reading a bit on a lounge....<br />
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after wards we went back to the room and just CHILLED OUT and watched tv and relaxed and then off to bed....we packed and put as much as we could in the car and just left the smaller stuff so there was not that much left to put away...sad that this trip is almost over!!! :(<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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so, afterwards we get home and we play MAGI QUEST until 2300!! yep, it is sooooo addicting! we were running up and DOWN that those stairs, boy, i got a SERIOUS work out that day!!!!! really, it was CRAZY and i didn't know how awesome that game was! really, i can't wait to come back JUST for that game!! and next time, i hope the boys can go on their own...i know alex would LOVE that because we were dragging him DOWN because we were sooooo slow and if we had matthew with us, then we had to use the elevator (THANK GOD!!)...regardless, it was AWESOME and at the end of the night, the boys had FINALLY finished their whole QUEST and were MASTER MAGI!!!!! we could have started the ADVENTURE part (yes, there is MORE to the game) but we knew we would not be able to even get CLOSE to finishing it!! we didn't get to fight the DRAGON but i was talking to someone else and they came back a YEAR later and their game was saved and they were able to start their game where they left off!! COOOOOL!! <br />
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so, after all that long day, EVERYONE was EXHAUSTED and i think within 15 mins of coming into the room and getting ready for bed, they WHOLE ROOM WAS QUIET!!!! snoring, coughing, etc was going on in the room...NICE!~!! i forgot to mention that one of the BIG things unfortunately, was that JOSHUA had a COLD during all this time...poor baby was coughing and snotty all weekend!!!!! ;( as soon as we get home, OFF to the drs he goes!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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sooo, we had ourselves some SANDWHICHES and ate something then got dressed in our swimsuits and we were OFFF!!! wowowoowowo, that water park was soooooo cool! there was sooo much to do for the little kids and in the park and we had a BLAST!!! they went on all the kids slides and all the pools and had suuuuch a BLAST!!! <br />
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after we were done swimming (about 2030) we order a pizza from the WOLF DEN (not bad price for a LARGE CHEESE PIZZA it was only 13.00!!) can't beat not having to leave anywhere!! so we ate some pizza, went to pick up the MAGI WAND (we were only suppose to do ONE wand and have them share it BUT with josh wanting one too, we had to get another WOLF PAW PASS!) so we got started on the QUEST and boy, that game is SOOOOO MUCH MORE than i had EVEN thought it was! everyone told me to make sure that the boys did it and wowowowowowow, that may have been the CHERRY ON THE TOP!! really, this game is AMAZING and if i could of, i think I WOULD have done the game if i could do it by myself!! but it was EXHAUSTING because you had to go UP and DOWN the stairs and it was CRAZY!!!! but fun...and all you saw where TONS of kids playing the game and some where in their jammies and others in regular clothes just running around pointing their MAGI STICK. i wish we could have let ALEX go on his own or with his brother but even though we saw a lot of kids without parents, we just COULD NOT do it!! maybe the next time we come (because we WILL come again, GOD WILLING) we will let him go on his own!! :)<br />
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ended the night after 1100 time that the MAGI game ends and EVERYONE dropped off for a LONG comfy night in our beds!! GREAT FIRST DAY!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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i think about AFTER i have the surgery...how am i going to put my hair up, how i am going to do something as easy as clip on my bra, put my clothes on, etc...you never think too much about that but really, HOW am i going to do that?!?!? i just know it is going to BE PAINFUL!!! AT LEAST, i ALREADY drive with my LEFT HAND since my right arm has been in soooo much pain FOR EVER that i have had to learn to only drive with my left hand so i think THAT part will have come in handy!! <br />
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i have had such AMAZING support from everyone near and far and i THANK GOD for all my family and firends that have reached out to us during this time in prayer, emails, calls, FB POST etc...i am ever soooooo BLESSED to have so many people that are praying for me and my family. when matthew was born, all we asked for is PRAYERS and I KNOW that that was one of the reasons he is here today....i have such FAITH in GOD that all will be well and that this is GOD'S PLAN and His plan is PERFECT! i have been calm about it and just going about my normal everyday life....i just know that all IS WELL...i have faith in GOD and i have faith that everything is happening EXACTLY how it is suppose to happen. back in the day (8years ago)i had so much FAITH, LOVE AND WONDER in GOD and all He was doing for us in our life at that time...with the birth of our precious son MATTHEW and everything he went thru, our faith was STRONG IN GOD...we knew that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED, it was going to be OK because everything was as GOD wanted it to be.....i gave my son up TO GOD during those days (and everyday) and that is what i have done with this diaseas...GOD IS SOOOO GOD and i know that all will be well! i thnk that i am sooooo LUCK AND BLESSED that i have this FAITH in MY GOD because THAT is the reason that i am doing so well with this shocking news of CANCER!!! i really have been calm and just ready to get started...i am soooo BLESSED because i have SEEN the other side of what i am going thru and how without FAITH some wonderful people dont do well...and i am doing well!!1 :) i sit here today, yesterday and wed with a SMILE on my face, no tears and just a sense of PEACE AND CALMNESS in my mind, heart and soul...life is BEAUTIFUL...GOD IS BEAUTIFUL and i know that i am goign to be ok!!! i look around me at my life and i SEE and i KNOW what a BLESSING that has been given to me and my family from GOD!!! and GOD has always been near me holding me and my family in HIS hands!!! GOD IS SOOOO GOOD!!!<br />
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sooo, i know i had posted that we had moved up the surgery to the 24th for the TUMOR removal BUT i have decided to leave it to the 31st because we were unable to move the DATES that we had chosen for out vacation trip to the GREAT WOLF LODGE during that same time...i asked the dr if it was OK to hold out for that extra week and he told me that 7 DAYS would not make a difference!! i did not want to disappoint the boys with canceling the trip...we have all been looking forward to this time and NOW MORE THAN EVER, i think we need this time away as a family before i have my surgery and the possibility of possible CHEMO/RADIATION....i didn't know what my life held in store and i wanted my family to ahve some WONDERFUL memories before we started on our journey!! :) sooooo we are gettign READY FOR OUR TRIP!! WOOOHOOO!!<br />
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sooo, i will be blogging about what is going on in my life more so again. i have so much to SAY and sooo much to write about...and more than ANYTHING i want to always remind everyone that GOD IS GOOOD, ALL THE TIME!! AND ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!!!!!<br />
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GOD'S BLESSING EVERYONE!!!<br />
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SOOOOO, AT 1600, the dr called me to let e know that he had shown HIS pathologist the biopsy and the pathologist said that it didn't look right so she decided to test it using a certain DYE TEST and he said it was very simple test...inject the cells and if they 'TURNED' it was POSITIVE...if it didn't, it was NEGATIVE...he said it turned IMMEDIATELY! so, he called me to let me know that instead of NO CANCER...i have been diagnosed with SYNOVIAL SARCOMA...and it is an aggressive type of cancer...sooooo, i WAS scheduled for surgery on the 31st to get it removed...now it has been moved up to the 24th AND i am having a PET SCAN to see if there is any more cancer anywhere else in my body....<br />
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soooo, am i ok with this? am i in shock? no,i am not in shock and i am as ok as i can be.... i had actually had a conversation with a friend TODAY about this particular subject that i was going to have a SERIOUS conversation with the surgeon to let him know not to be SURPRISED if it turned out to be MORE than the simple thing he was thinking and that it WAS ON THE NERVE not like he said he thought it was NOT....funny, huh? i guess GOD was giving me a gentle hint on this!! :) <br />
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sooo, GOD IS SOOOO GOD because while on the phone with me, he texted my other ortho oncologist at SAMMC to see how soon i could get my PET SCAN and i said that i would be surprised if i got it really soon, so he said he would text him to let him know what was going on....i hung up with the dr and within 15 MINUTES, the dr at SAMMC CALLS ME and said to come on in TOMORROW AT 0730 FOR A PET TEST!!!!!!!!! wowowowow, GOD IS SOOO GOOD! i have really been soooo blessed that things have really run smoothly with all of this and no real wait time with any of this...he also said that i should go have a 'punching session at all the military drs/bases' that had diagnosised me for that last 5+ years with TENNIS ELBOW and that i could start with HIM TOMORROW and it would be ok to give him a punch!!! such a good man....<br />
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soooo, any prayers or thought would be GREATLY APPRECIATED!! tomorrow, i have the PET SCAN AND I AM PRAYING AND ASKING FOR PRAYERS that there is no OTHER cancer spread thru my body....<br />
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I KNOW GOD IS GOOD AND HE IS HERE WITH ME AND MY FAMILY AND HE WILL SEE ME THRU!!! HE ALONG WITH ALL OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS IN PRAYER ARE WHAT WILL JUST BRING ME THRU THIS TIME AS HE HAS SEEN ME THRU MY LIFE!! THANK YOU GOD FOR ALWAYS BEING BY MY SIDE!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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the day that a MIRACLE was shown to us in MATTHEW ISAIAH...u know, i was going thru my blog looking for the story of our son and yes, i found the one of his birthday and the sadness of MAY 26TH but nothing on MAY 27TH!! and that is when our life looked soooo much better!! you see, MAY 27TH will always be a SPECIAL DAY for our family because THAT is the day that GOD gave us our MIRACLE in MATTHEW back! on THIS day, at MAY 27TH, 2004 @ 0200, james and i, after having passed him back and forth between us on that pillow to keep him still....we FINALLY put him BACK in his little warmer bed in PICU #18 because we were soooooooo tired and we were afraid to drop him! it took 4 people to get him in bed...he had 14 medication drips, a ventilator & so many other wires on him that you could not see the baby!!!! but we gently put him down...we kept talking to the nurses that whole night trying to find out what was going on. you see, everyone was soooooo POSITIVE that he would not make it thru the night and here we were already on the NEXT day and he was still holding strong. i remember the nurse telling me that he would just slowly stop being there...all his organs would start failing and then his little heart would stop...well, his heart rate when they first took him off of ECMO was WAY UP in the 200's and as the day went by, his little heart rate started to drop. i remember watching and just worrying when it would just STOP. and here we were, on THURSDAY MAY27th at 0200 in the morning, just so tired and so anxious about how it would happen and finally, putting the baby down and just sitting there in the rocking chair, with my legs SOOOO SWOLLEN and my back KILLING me after having had my c-section only 5 days before....with james by my side in a chair both of us EXHAUSTED and just so mentally DRAINED because we had been thru sooooo much these last 5+ days...with the BIRTH of our little boy MATTHEW ISAIAH, finding out about his heart and other issues, the ups and downs of his life....and now, just sitting here by his bedside, WAITING for the moment that according to ALL the doctors would come...i remember just watching those monitors and seeing all those lines and numbers and looking around his bed and seeing all his diffent pumps hanging from the iv poles and his ventilator....and then finally closing my eyes that were SOOOOOO tired and putting my head back on the wooden rocking chair and falling asleep.....<br />
<br />
and then WAKING UP, in a PANIC worried that i had somehow MISSED the whole event and the last few minutes of his life.... and then hearing something right next to me and it was the NEW nurse on her shift (0630) and she was going over all of matthew and looking at his lines and his body and i remember jumping up and asking "is he ok?" and she saying "GOOD MORNING" with a big smile and she saying "he is doing fine!"...never THINKING i would hear those words about matthew and here she was saying that!! she said "LOOK!!!" and i REALLY looked at him and saw that his skin was not as blue as it was the day before...and HIS EYES WERE OPEN!!!! and just then, DR S. walking in and standing at the door, with his hands on his HIP and his HIP cocked to the side STARING at the monitors....and i remember, as i was standing over matthew bed, bending down to see and look in his eyes, and matthew HOLDING MY FINGER, i looked up at him and said, 'WE'RE STILL HERE!!!!" and him finally looking down at me and smiling and saying, "OK....LET'S SEE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS BABY!!!" and then walking out and starting all the paper work to get BLOOD draws, X-rays, labs, cardiac sonogram, and soooo much more to see WHAT was going on with him!! he was sooooooooooo surprised and PLEASED to see that he had made it thru the night....i remember nurses stopping by to say HELLO and to just MARVEL at matthew because sooooo many nurses had all known what was going on with matthew and having been there the day before when we SANG and had a BIRTHDAY PARTY for him...remembered seeing all our relatives here with us and just kNOWING that YESTERDAY, MAY 26TH, 2004, that they were witnessing the last day, hours, minutes of a little boys life and then NOW, TODAY MAY 27TH, 2004, walking into PICU #18 TO see and WITNESS our MIRACLE MATTHEW ISAIAH!!!! really, it was such an amazing day ALL day, getting phone calls from family and friends asking how matthew was and what was going on....EXPECTING to hear bad news and to console but INSTEAD, HEARING SUCH AMAZING WONDERFUL NEWS that they could then pass along to all our other families!!! what a joy it was watching the activity again surrounding matthew where YESTERDAY, the 26th, it had been very FINAL with no real action with the doctors....then basically leaving us alone all day with our son and TODAY,MAY 27th, then going in and out of the room, poking, proding, and NOT LETTING US HOLD HIM AGAIN!!! i think that was the BIG thing for us at that time because YESTERDAY, 26TH, they had finally let us hold him even with his chest open and such BECAUSE they THOUGHT it was going to be his last day....and TODAY MAY 27TH, NOT letting us hold him BECAUSE they needed him to be STABLE so that they could continue to monitor him and see what was going on!!! i also remember our beautiful FRIENDS AND SISTERS DIXIE & CHRISTA, coming back TODAY MAY 27TH, after being with us ALL DAY YESTERDAY, because TODAY MAY 27TH, they had not heard the news that HE WAS STILL ALIVE, but COMING over early in the morning so that they could make the PLASTER CAST of his little hands for us (which we had decided to do AFTER he was suppose to have passed away to make it easier to do without all his equipment on and INSTEAD coming over and finding out that he was ALIVE and it was such a BLESSING AND MIRACLE and them taking video of him and watching his little EYES OPEN UP FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! we have the video where christa is walking in and she sees us over by matthew talking to him and his eyes are just OPEN and looking at us and just WATCHING US!!! we love that video!!! <3 <br />
<br />
SO MAY 27TH IS A SPECIAL DAY IN OUR FAMILY!!! and every year, we REMEMBER the MIRACLE that is MATTHEW ISAIAH!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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