2014 has come to an end....LET'S RING IN 2015!!

HOLA MY LITTLE BLOG!! who knew it would be MONTHS since i posted something. life has come speeding by and it has been a whirlwind of a year!!! really, it feels like i have been in a FOG this year...could be my FIBRO and what they call FIBRO FOG, i guess any excuse i will take it! right?

Well, this year my boys turned ALEX 12, MATTHEW 10 and JOSHUA 7....these boys keep growing and growing and THANK YOU GOD they do! who knew that i would have such amazing boys and that they are just so wonderful and loving....they have grown into such beautiful and loving boys...they show us each day how much they know that they are LOVED by us their parents and how much we want them to know GOD'S LOVE....that HE is the most important person in the world and that they should love and honor him every moment of their lives...

This year we have had so many things happen to us. we bought a new BOAT for our family...this boat we call MATTHEW's boat because it is a PONTOON and that gives him the ROOM to roam around the boat so that he can go on the water. he had not been able to be on the water in our other smaller boat because he had no where to go. but now with this bigger boat, he is more comfy and he LOVES being back on the water!! we also love being able to take more family out on the boat with us.



MATT got his new KAYE WALKER and he has started to do his walking and getting stronger and doing SOOO GOOD! we are so proud of all his new accomplishments! He has been walking to and from the bathroom and also up and down the stairs....soooo proud of him and how much better he is getting on walking!! <3

EASTER 2014 was really a nice family time with so many people there joining us at our home. The kids enjoyed being there and having all their cousins there to crack cascarones on each other! The food was amazing and all the goodies you just can't beat!!



Matthew started in a BASEBALL LEAGUE called the MIRACLE LEAGUE OF SAN ANTONIO....he was on the DODGERS team and boy, he LOVES it soooooo much! he has such a good time hitting home runs and being on his team....he played 2 seasons...the spring and the fall and he always gets so happy and excited when we pull into the parking lot....such a HAPPY BOY!! GO DODGERS!!






ALEX AND JOSH have also started their 3rd year of CYO BASEBALL THRU PRINCE OF PEACE! This will be Alex's last year playing baseball...this year he was with the ROYAL TITAN'S....and Josh was with the PADRES...and it was the first time he was with an all male team!! no more T-BALL for him!!! He's in coaches pitch and he did so well this year! Both boys did amazing! so proud of both of them!!






This year, we ended up going to GREAT WOLF LODGE for our summer vacation. we had soon much fun and soon enjoyed being with our little family, splashing around and just getting wet. what memories our boys will have of this time with each other.....they are just young for a little while and then they grow up and don't want to be with us anymore, so we have to enjoy. Life is amazing and we have been so happy that GOD has granted us each other...

Towards the end of this year, we have continued to be BLESSED with good health....ALL OF US, THANK YOU JESUS!! Matt has done amazing and we thank Him everyday for every moment...just watching all of us growing and getting healthy and happy is amazing....

So, as we closed 2014 and are now in 2015, we can only PRAY that we continue to grow and give THANKS to GOD for all the blessings in our life and Pray we have continued GOOD HEALTH and happiness...in HIM!!! BLESSING TO ALL!

MATTHEW ISAIAH IS 10 YEARS OLD!! :)

MATTHEW “GIFT OF GOD”
ISAIAH “GOD IS MY SALVATION”
GONZALEZ
BIRTHDAY MAY 21

MAY 21, 2004

MATTHEW PLAYING BASEBALL 2014

Matthew Isaiah is 10 YEARS OLD, THANK YOU GOD! Wow, what an amazing and wonderful life we have had with matthew in our life. GOD IS SO GOOD! HE IS IN DOUBLE DIDGITS!!! wowowow, that is just such an INCREDIBLE AMAZING WONDERFUL MIRACLE OF GOD that little boy is! I sit here just in amazment that my beautiful boy is growing and getting bigger and stronger and just LIVING day by day. Such a MIRACLE he is, THANK YOU GOD!

My thoughts are never far away from what a miracle he is and where he has come from and where he is now. James and I are always marveling at what he is doing or things he does on a daily basis. He is such a CUTE kid and such a SMARTY!! Hard to believe that when he was born, they gave him NO real chance that he would live...that after he was born blue, needing an open heart surgery IMMEDIATELY, they didn't think he would make the trip from one hospital to another....that once he got there, that he would survive the open heart operation that he had when he was ONLY 8 HOURS OLD!! but he did, thank you JESUS! He was kept on an ECMO maching (https://www.dellchildrens.net/services_and_programs/ecmo/what_is_ecmo/) for his first 5 days because they could not take him off of the machines after his surgery, so they left him on this hoping that his body would recover and be able to take over the job of his lungs and heart....at 5 days (may 26, 2004), they told us they had to take him off this machine and either he was going to LIVE or DIE...and after doing so, we were told in the waiting room, that he had about 1% chance of survival and to pray for a miracle because that was the ONLY way that he would survive....going in to see our MIRACLE without that big ECMO machine and the room being so silent...the wonderful staff at METHODIST CHILDRENS hospital who took over and got us a CAKE and DECORATIONS for his 'birthday' party that we wanted to give him (since we didn't know if we would have anymore), and having all our family and friends there with us but most of all FINALLY BEING ABLE TO HOLD that precious baby in our arms for the first time!! what an JOY it was to hold him in our arms and FINALLY be able to carry him....thinking back, that hospital was just amazing to allow us to have this 'party' for him and allowing us to have so many of our friends and family there to celebrate his life!!! & at a PICU! I soooo love that hospital!!! They had a ceremony for us and the wonderful doctor read a beautiful poem for him, they did some prints of hands and feets, cut a lock of his hair for us, made a cast of his hands and feet, gave us a grief blanket and just supported us thru this amazing time in our life....and all the nurses came over and sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him too!! such a SPECIAL place that is!!!

After holding our beautiful baby boy until 2am, we finally put him down and fell asleep next to his bed only to wake up at 7am SCARED AND WORRIED thinking that we had missed his passing....only to find out he had his eyes open, grabing our fingers and wiggling his toes, all to the AMAZEMENT of the doctors and staff!!! HE MADE IT and is a MIRACLE to all the doctors and nurses that have known him especially those that knew all the personal, medical and private parts of his life while he as there in the hospital during those first days thru the 98 days he stayed in the PICU. They TRULY know what a miracle he is and what he went thru and what an almost IMPOSSIBILITY it was that he survived thru it all....and as I ALWAYS say, it is ONLY thru GOD that our son is HERE today!!! if you want to read about his miracle story, here is alink to the BLOG post: http://blessingsinmylife.blogspot.com/2008/05/miracle-matthews-story.html and one of his YOUTUBE videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E2QOasHR0A



soooo, now on to the amazing news of the day....MATTHEW ISAIAH IS 10 YEARS OLD!!! double digits!! wooohooo!!! This little guy has been thru it all and ALWAYS with a smile!!! He is eating orally now, but it is not consistant, but we will TAKE IT! He only gets 3 cans of his PEPTIMUM JR formula a day and that is thru a bolus....and he has been able to maintain his weight and keep growing. He is now 55 lbs and 43”...To think this was the baby boy that would not 'make it thru the night'....THANK YOU JESUS!! He is really vocal, although still non verbal, but he CAN get his meaning and wants across for the most part. I think A LOT of his fustration has to do with the lack of being able to communicate...he does have a communication device but it is really big and HEAVY...but GOD WILLING next year he will get the new and improved device on an PAD platform which will be soooo much lighter for him! :) He is learning to use his KAYE walker. He walks with assistance everywhere he goes and he helps with his transfer and such too. He is soooo SMART! He is doing amazing with his teacher and has excelled and made all his goals! He LOVES playing WII resort and playing the SWORD FIGHTING game. He also enjoys WII SPORTS baseball and bowling game. If he could, he could play ALL DAY LONG! On top of that, he LOVES his iphone and enjoys watching YOUTUBE VIDEO's all day....just different stuff like, people playing WII, seasame street, and he especially loves any video's that are of HIM or our family! He can watch those over and over! ESPECIALLY if dad is either talking or in the picture!! and he LOVES playing BASEBALL!! He recently was in a special team called THE MIRACLE LEAGUE OF SA and he was on the LEIJA DODGERS team!! he was soooo PROUD when he hit the baseball and dad and him ran around the bases!!! he LOVED playing on his team!! just like his brothers! Wow, the things he can do! He loves being right in the middle of everything and just BEING there!! He loves his family!! and now that we bought the PONTOON BOAT, well, he LOVES being on the water and then jumping in the water and swimming around!! :) but to get him out is a DIFFERENT story!! boy, that child does NOT want to get back in the boat!!!!!! ;)

LIFE with matthew is just so amazing and wonderful!! THANK YOU GOD, this year has been a HEALTHY year!! hard to believe but we are ever so THANKFUL that he has really only had about 3 illness the WHOLE YEAR!! amazing! I keep waiting for it but nope! LOVE it! And I know he has enjoyed the stress free year without having to have the drama of having to do drs appts, meds, suctions, treatments, oxygen etc! AGAIN, THANK YOU JESUS!! I won't lie by saying I am not 'waiting' for it because I am!! just always worry when it will hit!!! :) as for the other medical issue, well, it's been over 36 months since his last BIG seizure!! and since aug 2010, he has had only 2 seizures!! woohooo!! thank you GOD for that!!!!!! but we are ever vigilant, never taking it for granted that he could get sick or have a seizure at ANY moment! But that has been our life for the last 10 years....knowing that every SECOND of his life is a precious miracle and that because of all he has gone thru, we know that ANYTHING can happen!! but we are sooooo GREATFUL for the last 10 years we have had with our MATTHEW!!! i made a movie for MATTHEW with pictures of his last 10 years...here is the link to it: ***UPLOADING TO YOUTUBE AND WILL POST SOON!****

SOOOO, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIRACLE MATTHEW ISAIAH!!! with your birth you have brought MORE life, love and happiness to our home and we thank GOD everyday for the true BLESSING you are in our lives!!! WE LOVE YOU AND ARE SOOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!! PLEASE GOD, GIVE US MANY MANY MANY TO INFINITY MORE YEARS WITH MATTHEW!!!

“WITH MAN THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE”
MATTHEW 19:26

WHAT A WONDERFUL WEEK....

Wowowow....what a BLESSING this week has been for me and my family....it was also such an awesome event in my life right now....i feel so empowered with this week...i feel sooooo blessed!! and as you know, this is my year of: 2013 my word(s) of the year would be FAITH/BLESSED....WHY 2? BECAUSE I have FAITH, I AM BLESSED.....I AM BLESSED TO HAVE FAITH!!

this week, I am just continued to be in AWE of my husband...really, I KNOW I have ALWAYS been sooooo BLESSED that GOD chose him for me...our love for each other has always been THRU GOD...from our first meeting thru today, every moment GOD has guided us and just kept us on track...but this past week, I was just in AWE of what a HARD WORKER my husband is...i have always know that because that is just who james is...he will NEVER sit back and watch others do his work or their work and not offer to help or be right in the mix of it...and this week was just such an example...the reason he was a week earlier than everyone else was because he was there to help another of his soldier get everything ready for their 2 weeks out in the field! And boy, he worked sooooo hard this week...and still EVERY MORNING, went downstairs to the breakfast the hotel provided, got food for ALL OF US and brought it up to our room so that when everyone woke up, they could have some breakfast there in the room, before he left for work!! yep, he is THAT man, that WONDERFUL KIND OF MAN....again, BLESSED!!! and every night, came home (sometimes by 7, others as late as 1030) and rolled around with the boys, took the boys swimming or we went out to eat, or brought home dinner....and I see what a hard working man he is, what a WONDERFUL father and husband he is...and just now, saturday, he drove over 8+ hours (due to problems with some hummers and other issues) in a convoy with all his soldiers getting to FT HOOD, so that he could spend the next 2 weeks out in the HOT SUN, in the field, with no A/C doing his job and doing it WONDERFULLY....all for his family....and he will do it with a smile and with such an AMAZING attitude that most of his soldiers all want him around because he has that personality and that kind of attutide that it lights up the people around him....that's my husband and this week was just such a example of why I love him soooo much and why my children's love for him is just such a BEAUTIFUL thing to witness....THANK YOU SWEET GOD FOR MY BEAUTIFUL BLESSING OF A HUSBAND....THANK YOU for EVERYTHING that he is!!

and then on to my revelations....it was such an total act of FAITH IN GOD for me to say YES to go this week to FT HOOD BY MYSELF with only the boys....i have never gone that far by myself with the boys (took us about 3 hours)....but I said YES....and GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD...he watched over us and got us safetly there and BACK!! but in going over there, I feel so much BETTER about myself and being able to really get out of the house BY MYSELF with my boys...now some people might not understand WHY it's such a BIG DEAL going out by myself with my boys....mommies do it ALL the time...well, what you have to understand is that it's a BIG deal because my beautiful son MATTHEW, who is 9 years old and has cerebral palsy and other special needs, is non-ambulatory and non verbal and I have to be able to get him out of bed, dressed, on and off the bathroom, down the stairs, fed, outside, up and in my SUV and continue this thru out the whole day and also take him on/off car, in and out of his wheelchair (not to mention getting the w/c in/out too) and of course he LOVES to ask to go to the bathroom if we are somewhere new OVER AND OVER!! :)....dare I mention that he is now OVER 50 POUNDS and is OVER 42” tall?! YEP , MY GROWING BOY! But I just PROVED to MYSELF that YES, I can do it and I HAVE done it but this time, it was 5+ DAYS of it all by myself...i usually have either nursing help or james help but I did it all on my own for MORE than 5 days AND I went OUT OF TOWN!! don't get me wrong, I had issues with my back during the trip and my quads and bicepts were killing me but the whole point is I DID IT!!! allll thru the GRACE OF GOD!! I felt so EMPOWERED doing it!! and it just was a testiment to me that I could do it and not to DREAD it...be cause I do go out with all my boys but it is usually only to church (when james is working on the weekend) and that is it....but after this weekend, I look forward to going to the store and where ever I need to go...this week, I TOOK THE BOYS TO THE MOVIES!! :) yep, we went to see TURBO while we were down there in killeen...(we did get lost but it was the !@#$% maps app on my phone!! :( )but again, it was OK...i used another app and found the right place...and it was OK!!! I am EXCITED now to do something with the boys....i know it is going to be hard....i know that I have to be VERY CARE so I don't hurt myself, because that is one of my BIGGEST FEARS....if I hurt myself, I will be unable to help my son....be unable to care for him AT ALL...and that is what has held me back from venturing far from home....because I have to LIFT him into the EXPEDITION, LIFT him into and out of his w/c....and doing that, at him being over 50 lbs and me being just shy of 5 feet tall, it is pretty difficult BUT “..thru GOD all things are POSSIBLE...” Matthew 19:26

soooo, then we got ANOTHER BLESSING from GOD...on Monday evening, there at the hotel in killeen, we were sooooooo BLESSED to find out that because of some mix ups out in the field, the few soldeir there all got to be put in a hotel for the week so that ment that WE DID NOT HAVE TO PAY OUT OF POCKET FOR OUR HOTEL ROOM which we were originally doing!! wowowowowowowow....what a BLESSING because it was going to be a couple of $$ shy of $400!!!! whew! James and I could not PRAISE AND THANK GOD enough!! GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD! When that happened, I just felt GOD's hand in us being there with james....His Love and His BLESSINGS on our family....

so, THANK YOU for anyone who read this far....i just really wanted to share my happiness, our BLESSINGS, and how I feel EMPOWERED now....

MATTHEW....

my matthew....well, matt is sick again...3+ weeks ago, he got REALLY sick on us with some virus that actually got ALL OF US here at home...it was soooo bad that he was actually on OXYGEN at night for over a WEEK!! and he was on HIGH FLOW 4 liters of oxygen!! that is a first for him especially since his OXYGEN SATS were only running about 90%...that was soooo scary for me trying to get his oxygen levels UP to acceptale levels...worried i was going to head over to the hospital...and that hasn't happen in a LONG LONG TIME, THANK YOU GOD!! he ended up taking a antibiotic for ADULTS at ADULT DOSES for 10 days, something he had never taken before, 2 rounds of oral steroids and TONS AND TONS of treatments!!! :( well, last week on 2/11/13 we went back to see dr G for a follow up from this illness and we were CLEAR because he was doing so well...yayayya....but then THURSDAY 2/14/13, josh started coughing....i tried to keep him and matt clear of him but of course, it didn't happen and matt started getting sick on sunday night!! :( and here we are, 2 drs appts later (tues/thurs) and he is back on antibiotics, oral steroids, treatments every 3-4 hours and dx of BRONCHITIS AND METAPNUEMO VIRUS....sigh...

it's been a crazy couple of months now and i just wonder how his little body is taking it all....i know that his lungs are very congested and hearing his X-ray were very difficult to diagnose because of his severe chronic lung disease was really scary to hear....his lungs on an xray are suppose to be BLACK (a normal lung) but his are almost all WHITE with all the scar tissue and his chronic lung disease...that is what scares me the most..he has been getting sick soooo much this last couple of months and they were ALL RESPIRATORY...i know that all these oral steroids, antibiotics and treatments can't be good for him and i just wonder...i KNOW GOD is taking care of him and i DO leave my feelings and troubles at HIS feet....i am just a mommy that sees her little boy struggling and breathing fast and HATING his vest treatments and nebulizer...my beautiful son is so strong and such a loving little boy....he goes thru so much but is always happy at the end of the day....what a BLESSING IN MY LIFE he is and i just PRAY that he gets HEALTHY and STRONG so that he can have a break from these illness and be able to be healthy without all this stuff going on...my little boy....

WELCOME TO MY BEAUTIFUL NIECE!

I am so happy to announce that my only sibling, has had his 1st baby!!! well, he didnt but his wife did!! :) wow, she is BEAUTIFUL and i am soooo far away from her! :( she was born today over in HAWAII where he is stationed at. wow, i am so happy for them! it's funny, i was thinking about the fact that he has only ever seen my 3 boys as babies only my oldest boy! all the others were born while he was over seas! and here we are again, with it only being just he and i left in our little family, both our parents have passed away, he is in HAWAII and i am in TEXAS! BUT GOD WILLING we will be going to be going out there in MAY so that i can meet this little lady! we are alllll sooooo excited about it! what a BLESSING it will be to meet her and my SIL!! wooohooo!!

sooo, just wanted to share my beautiful niece!!!

GOODBYE 2012....HAPPY 2013!!!

WOW...2013 CAME AND WENT IN A FLASH!!!! hard to believe that a whole year went by soooo quickly!! my cousin and i last night were talking about ONE WORD that would describe 2012 and then one word we WANT to describe 2013...i came up with for 2012...DAZED....for 2013...it's a double edge word=BLESSED/FAITH...i'll explain each one...
FOR 2012...the year of MANY ups and downs....for me DAZED is the word of the year because sooooo much happened to me personally in that year...and i don't know if it was because of my pain medication or just everything personally that was happening to me that i was constantly in a DAZE...things that i normally did such as keep up with matthew's appts, meds, numerous phone calls that i NEED to make and just generally all the stuff that comes with having a special needs little guy i was putting off, FORGETTING (a BIG no-no) and just NOT DOING THEM...it was crazy when BEFORE i had been soooo organized, had my book with aaaallllll my notes and such and this year....uh...not so much!! i can honestly say, i have NO RECORD of names i have spoken to when calling for important things or any NOTES other than those on little bits of papers all over the house that i know i can't put together!!! :( so not MEEEE!!! AND THEN with the homeschooling front...i have taken such a BACK SEAT to it and pretty much let ALEX do what he needs to do and nothing else...we have been soooooo busy with appts for matthew, appts for ME, and playdates/extra classes for ALEX that we are constantly on the GO GO GOOOO!!! it's crazy!! but this year has been full of BLESSINGS as i CONSTATLY say about my life...even with all the crazy and dazed feeling, i STILL KNOW and FEEL like i am BLESSED!!! GOD IS SOOOO GOOD and has ALWAYS been in me, with me... He is at the START of me and everyday is such a BLESSING no matter what the day brings...i feel like no matter what, because i have GOD in my life, it will be a BLESSED DAY!!!! :)

this year, my children, THANK YOU GOD, have grown sooooooo much!!! my ALEX turned 10 this year (double digits, baby!) and he is now in 5th grade! he is a couple of inches shorter than me and keeps getting BIGGER!! he is sooooooo smart!! REALLY not an exaggeration or mommy prejudice! :) he has such an INCREDIBLE mind and such an AMAZING memory! he can recall things that i don't even remember and he has to remind us about it. and wowowowowow, on his schooling...watching him figure out all his subjects and KNOW how to do it and also, impressing the HECK out of us when a cousin 2 years older than him, bringing over some HOMEWORK for school (math) and the cousin was having a problem and didn't understand the math and alex coming over, casually looking it over in 2 secs, KNOWING THE ANSWER and answering CORRECTLY!!! crazy! and him HELPING that cousin with the rest of his work! and then same with other subjects he had brought over!! MY BIG BOY!!!! and he started CYO BASEBALL this year with our church and watching him GROW from NEVER having played ANY sport before to joining a team that was ESTABLISHED, intergrating himself and really coming from never played baseball (batted/catching balls/RUNNING/throwing balls, etc) to after the season, LOVING it and really knowing how to PLAY the game and do everything he NEEDED to do without being scared!!! my, how he has GROWN!!! and in his FAITH, he is AMAZING!! he LOVES GOD and he probably knows MORE about the bible and our FAITH than james and i combined!! so proud of our little boy!!

and then there is MATTHEW....he turned 8 this year...another miracle in our life!! wowow...time has FLOWN with this little boy too..watching him get BIGGER, is just so amazing and we MARVEL at everything he has DONE and is LEARNING!!! this year, he made his FIRST COMMUNION!!! wooohooo! we are sooo proud of him and what an ACCOMPLISHMENT that is! and he is now in 3rd grade and is doing WELL with his amazing teacher. unfortunately, this year has brought FUSTRATION to him which in turns causes him to lash out sometimes because we DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! :( he does not do it often but he gets sooo frustrated! poor guy! can't wait and i PRAY he will either learn to talk or sign or use his TALKER! :) he has taken off on EATING like a champ orally and has gained weight. he KNOWS HOW TO SPELL HIS NAME PHONICALLY and if you give him the letters, he can spell it that way too! he is also learning to READ and knows all his ABC, NUMBERS, PHONICS, SHAPES, OBJECTS, ETC and we are just crazy proud of all he has done!! on the flip side, HEALTH WISE, it has been an UP AND DOWN YEAR...seizure wise, it was 27.5 MONTHS without seizures until dec 9th when he had one at 0430 and lasted for at least 20 mins...so, our count down is back down to 1....his LUNGS have been a BIG PROBLEM this year with CONSTANT illness, wheezing, junky, on crazy amounts of STEROIDS, TREATMENTS, antibiotics, doctors appts, etc ALLLLL YEAR LONG!! :( NOT a good year for his health...he is doing well with his CPAP, and through all the illness, he is STILL OUR HAPPY BOY!!! so proud of him!

and our SURPRISE BLESSING JOSHUA...he turned 5 this year and it has been a BLESSED year for him!! he is such a HAPPY boy and full of life and mischief! we were sooooo BLESSED that he was our little surprise. he is our BABY and just watching him grow up is bittersweet because we know there will be no more after him!! :( even though i wanted another little one but GOD has other plans and that is ok. but he is our little sports guy. he LOVES to be playing ball...this year, he started CYO BASKETBALL and he was soooo good!! he is still so good and one of the better players! :) and then he also played CYO BASEBALL T-BALL!! awwww....watching him out there is such a JOY!! :) AND this year he is in KINDERGARDEN!! and he is learning all his phonics and such and is doing REALLY good in his schooling....soooo proud of this little guy!!!

James is doing GREAT!!! he has a GREAT position at work and his working sooooo hard and doing SOOOO GOOD!! we are so proud of all the hard work he does for our family! he is now also a COACH for CYO sports so he is active with the boys and their practices and games...he is in his ELEMENT with all of them and enjoys being out there with the boys and the KIDS! it's been a crazy year for all the traveling and away time the military has had him doing this year....and next year promises more of the same but it is ALLLLLL for PROMOTION as he makes his way to E-8!!! so we will take that!! he soooo deserves all of that and MORE because he is one of the BEST EMPLOYEES the military has and that is not just a PROUD WIFE talking either!! :) he has gotten a lot of recognition from his superiors and we are really just soooo proud of him!!! and this year HE EARNED HIS 20 YEARS OF MILITARY SERVICE FOR OUR GREAT COUNTRY!!! wowowowowowow....what an ACCOMPLISHMENT!! again, so proud of him!! unfortunately, it is not ACTIVE years so we still have a little over 8 years left to reach 20 YEARS ACTIVE DUTY FULL RETIREMENT years!! and that is what he is working for....we PRAY that the US ARMY continue to keep him employed!! we are SOOOOOO BLESSED to be ACTIVE DUTY MILITARY!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!

AS FOR MEEEEEE....hmmmmmmm...it has been as always a BLESSED YEAR!!! this year, my pain in my arm had unfortunately gotten WORST...sooo bad that i couldn't even shake hands, play wii or any other activities that required me to use my right arm WITHOUT EXTREME PAIN!!! i had complained to my DOCTOR (dx TENNIS ELBOW (for the 5+ year), i had complained to my rheumitologist also and gotten a STEROID SHOT and told it was TENNIS ELBOY (for the 2+ year) and put BACK into PHYSICAL THERAPY (JAN 2012)...and during my evaluation the physical therapist found a BALL on my forearm and told me that that didn't feel right and i needed to get an MRI....and what a LIFE SAVER THAT WAS!!! :) because, after FINALLY getting an MRI (IN APRIL), it was found that i had a TUMOR and was IMMEDIATELY s (within 4 days) was being seen at the ORTHOPEDIC ONCOLOGY DEPARTMENT AT SAMMC!!! :( yep, they didn't know what type of tumor but they felt that it COULD BE CANCER....and ultimately IT WAS SYNOVIAL SARCOMA===CANCER....i really never thought i would ever have that DX but there it was....and the doctor was concerned enough that he needed it out NOW....so on JULY 31ST, 2012, it was roomed and thru the GRACE OF GOD, because of HIS BLESSINGS, they were able to get the WHOLE THING OUT due to the MIRACLE that it was ENCAPSULATED so i didn't have to have CHEMOTHERAPY/RADIATION!!! PRAISE GOD! but now, i have to have PET SCANS every 3 months and see the doctor ever 3 months for 2 years and then move on 2 twice a year for 3 years then yearly for the rest of my life!! :( and now i know WHY we could not get PREGNANT again even when it was timed right on etc....GOD HAD OTHER PLANS!! :) so, again, BLESSING BLESSING BLESSINGS!!! other than that, just a regular crazy, DAZED YEAR!!!

AND FOR THIS YEAR, 2013 my word(s) of the year would be FAITH/BLESSED....WHY 2? BECAUSE I HAVE FAITH, I AM BLESSED.....I AM BLESSED TO HAVE FAITH!! GOD will be utmost in my life and MY FAITH will be front and center. i pray i will learn more about GOD, learn more ABOUT MY FAITH and just get closer to that which has LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY, that has BLESSED ME AND MY FAMILY, that who has GIVEN ME SO MANY REASONS TO BE HAPPY!!!!! and that would be GOD! i am going to devote this year and ALWAYS to learning more about GOD and about my faith....I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM!!!

sooooo, that is it....2012 is gone and 2013 is here...i will plan to make this year a BLESSED year and a YEAR OF FAITH....this year will GOD WILLING bring a new blessing in my brothers life.....a BABY!!!! and we will GOD WILLING be going to see her and my family and i will be traveling to HAWAII IN MAY!!! WOOOHOOOO!!! yes, all 5 of us!! wowowowowow....we will keep trucking along and just enjoying life, loving my family!!!

GOD'S BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE AND FOR THE YEAR TO COME!!!! love ya'll!!!

FIGURED OUT.....

how to rip our DVD's to our IPAD!!! YAYAYAAA...why is this soooooo awesome? well, with matthew going into the hospital on monday, i wanted to be able to put his FAVORITE movies on his iPad because they only have VHS in the rooms (or at least they DID have that) i am not sure if maybe they have upgrade since we've been there...we shall see, but i didn't want to take a chance that that was the case! it is only a trial version for 30 days but at least it will be there for this coming week!! :)

anointing of the sick today....

today was a great day...i had bible study this morning at my church and we were on ACTS 5:1-?? I had all the kids with me because TODAY matthew and i were going to meet with father pat and get an ANOINTING OF THE SICK which is one of the sacrament in CATHOLIC CHURCH! :) i never really new that we could get anointed in times of illnes or before surgery and such until i went to the ACTS RETREAT a couple of years ago....sooo matthew got his done because on MONDAY he will be having dental surgery and have a BRONCOSCOPY done all under GENERAL ANESTHESIA which he has not been under since 2007 when he had a RXN to the anesthesia and went into MOBITZ 2 COMPLETE HEART BLOCK...and it was a VERY scary time for us....soooooo, he was anointed, it was BEAUTIFUL....and then i was anointed too because on tuesday, i go for a PET SCAN to see if there is any more cancer in my body...it was BEAUTIFUL and i am at PEACE after being anointed...

today at the bible study, i am slowly understand and having things in my life be CLEARED UP...what do i mean? AGAIN, GOD has spoken to me about events that had happened in my life....we were talking about ACTS CHAPTER 5 and how the apostles had been beaten for their believe in JESUS and how they REJOICED in being beaten because if they were being BEATEN then that ment that they were doing what they were suppose to be doing in spreading and evangelizing JESUS name!! so they REJOICED in their pain!! they remember that JESUS had said that they were going to be beaten, killed, etc all the thing that had happened to JESUS in HIS NAME....that all will be happening to them like it happened to Him....and what spoked to me was that 8 years ago, what i did was CLEARED up for me..in my PAIN and in the crazyiness of everything that was happening to me and my family with matthew...thru it ALL with matthew heart issues, his surgery, them telling us that he was going to pass away on his 5th day...thru it ALL, i was PRAISING GOD, THANKING GOD and just loving on matthew and just PRAISING GOD for the 39 weeks (pregnancy) and 5 days of matthew's life and all the beautiful memories that we had with him....people didn't and COULDN'T understand why we were not crying, screaming or asking WHY HIM GOD...we never did that...we ACCEPTED what was going on and all we gave matthew up to GOD and told GOD that whatever is HIS will we ACCEPT it and we will still PRAISE HIM. we prayed for a miracle and we PRAYED sooooooo hard for healing but thru it all we thanked and praised GOD...people just didn't understand....and i couldnt explain all i knew was that i had TOTAL FAITH IN GOD that this was HIS WILL and that there was NOTHING WE COULD DO ABOUT IT...IT WAS HIS WILL...

thru this bible studying, i am learning soooo much and GOD is opening my EYES UP to GOD AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME...he is speaking to me sooooo much....I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE....I PRAISE YOUR NAME!!! :)

God spoke to me...

i LOVE GOD...i am in love with this man!!! and recently i started doing BIBLE STUDY on THE BOOK OF ACTS at our church and oh what an AMAZING thing that is! i have NEVER done a bible study before so this is very amazing and interesting and i just WISHED i had done it A LONG TIME before now!!! i can't wait to finish this one and start on a new one, GOD WILLING!!

this week, we were studying ACTS 4:1-?? and it was really awesome to do a study on this...it had to do with how PETER AND JOHN were arrested because they had healed a beggar at the temple enterance and the rabbi's and leaders heard about it and they were upset because he did it in THE NAME OF JESUS! and they were upset because he kept praising JESUS and they wanted none of that...they eventually had to let them go because they DID NO WRONG...this chapter brought home the thought that JESUS had to go thru a lot on his journey...and that because they loved him so much, they would also have to go thru the same things....prison, fights, etc...and they took on that cross because all they wanted to do was EVANGELIZE about the LOVE, POWER that is JESUS!!! AND one of the things that was brought home was if you are going to joyously speak about JESUS, praise JESUS you must do it BOLDLY!!! with all your heart and soul....

well, what was funny was that as i was listening to this, GOD put in my head an incident that happened over 6 years ago with a very then close family member of mine...we had words (as emails do) about my miracle matthew, about LIFE, about how powerful prayer is and what a BEAUTIFUL thing GOD is and how HE can perform miracles...we had a difference of opinions and i was told that THERE IS NO GOD...needless to say, i was EXTREMELY shocked when told this...well, i BOLDLY EVANGELIZED to this person about JESUS and the beautiful things he had done for my family and most especially MATTHEW....needless to say, we have not spoke in over 6 years to my saddness....after this day in bible study, i was soooooo HAPPY that the one thing i NEVER regretted was that i BOLDLY proclaimed my FAITH and my LOVE OF JESUS... i have tried numerous times in the last 6 years to try to mend the fences and try to get them to talk to me but to no avail...this person wants nothing to do with me and for alllllll of my growing up years, from itty bitty to 6 years ago, we have always written to each other and talked to each other...it is so sad to me that i have no part in that life now...and they have none in mine....BUT TODAY, I WAS TOLD BY GOD THAT HE WAS PROUD OF ME...i was at PEACE with what happened 6 years ago and that NOTHING i did was wrong....that we no longer talk is just cross i have to bear....i think of my family memeber OFTEN because i have always had contact with them but GOD WILLING someday, we will once again communicate....i will wait for them to contact me because my heart has grown heavy with the MANY times that i have tried to apologize and try to get them to talk to me and i won't go there anymore...and i have not in over 2 years...

LIFE IS GOOD....GOD IS GOOD....THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING TO ME GOD AND EASING MY THOUGHTS!!! I LOVE YOU!

WHAT'S IN A NAME?? and on my 40th BIRTHDAY!

TODAY in bible study, THE BOOKS OF ACTS CHAPTER 3...was just AMAZING...i KNEW how powerful a name is but how AMAZINGLY POWERFUL the NAME OF JESUS is just....awesome! one thing i found out was the i never knew that when i ended my prayers with 'in JESUS NAME I PRAY, AMEN'...it was not just an ending to a prayer but when we said that, we were ENVOKING HIM!! wowowowowow.....when we speak HIS name, it is the MOST powerful thing!! I never realized that at MASS on sunday, the FIRST thing that our priest says is 'IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT'...and when he does that, the whole ROOM and MASS CHANGES...the priest ENVOLKES JESUS to be PRESENT in the room!! wowowowow...i never knew that he did that for that reason! just amazing...and a name is a power tool...back in the days, to know the NAME of a DEMON, GOD, ETC means that you had control(?) of them...and DEMONS don't like you to know their names...like in exorcisms demons won't give you their name and when you find IT out, you can then CAST THE DEMON OUT of a person!!! well, JESUS loved us soooooooo much that he GLADLY gave us his NAME that we may use it to PERFORM MIRACLES, PERFORM HEALINGS, TO JOYFULLY CALL HIS NAME AND PRAISE HIM....wowowowowow....and i remember VIVIDLY when matthew was born and we would pray over him and pray for him, i would BOLDLY say JESUS's name and in HIS NAME i would PRAY that my son would be HEALED and that he would grant us the MIRACLE that my son would live!!! IN JESUS NAME....such a STRONG and POWERFUL statement...the apostles would heal people using this...so after today, i BOLDLY say his name and i PERPOSEFULLY say the beginning and ending of my prayers IN HIS NAME...knowing that i am ENVOLKING JESUS right then and there...the BEAUTY of it is just amazing...THANK YOU JESUS FOR LOVING US SO MUCH THAT YOU WOULD GIVE US THAT GIFT OF YOUR NAME AND THE GIFT OF YOU!!! I LOVE YOU JESUS!

sooooo, all of this i learned ON MY BIRTHDAY! what an AMAZING GIFT i was given to have KNOWLEDGE about such a powerful and beautiful NAME...

my family and i had an amazing time on my birthday....we ordered in pizza, watched THE AVENGERS and just relaxed and enjoyed our time together...i LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!

JOSHUA IS FIVE TODAY!!!

ok...running a bit late in writing this but i DO have an excuse!! :) it has been this crazy kinda month...

anyway, today, joshua, our baby, turned 5...hard to believe that 5 years ago, my baby boy was born and daddy went a way to IRAQ 2 days later!!! yep, it is something you NEVER forget...but to see our baby boy growing up...it is just AMAZING TO ME...and he is TOTALLY A MOMMA'S BOY!! and i LOVE IT! :) he just loves to be near me, and just loves to cuddle with me and rub my ear...LOVE IT!! this year, he wanted a machine gun that makes all kind of noises...he LOVES those and then some bay blades too....we just chilled out and ordered in and played WII for a long time...he LOVES to do that...awwwww....my littlest guy is now 5!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX!!

TODAY, my beautiful son ALEX turns 10 years old....wow, how the time has FLOWN!! i can't believe that it was 10 years ago TODAY that i finally after 2 miscarriages, became a MOMMY for the first time!! what a BLESSING it was for james and i to have that beautiful child....and what an ADVENTURE we had when we had him!! i remember i found out i was pg on the DAY my husband was being DEPLOYED to RED RIVER ARMY DEPOT after 9/11!! what a shock but such an SURPRISE to find that out!! and then after a scare thinking that we were going to MISCARRY again, we find out, that by COINCIDENCE the DAY I CONCIEVED (from the baby length on the sonogram) coincided with the day we went to RIPLEYS BELIEVE IT OR NOT AND james and i RUBING THE AFRICAN FERTILITY GODS!! yes, we did it on a LARK because we so happen to be downtown during the LIGHTING OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE the day after thanksgiving!! :) soooo, many things happened during my pregnancy...first, i was PREGNANT and i STAYED PREGNANT (THANK YOU GOD) and second, james was GONE thru the ENTIRE PREGNANCY because he was deployed to TEXARKANA!!! yep, we spent a total of less than 30 days during the WHOLE PG together!!!! we missed soooo much of our pg first together!! but then, that BEAUTIFUL day on the 10th of august, i woke up at 5am and my water broke, calling james to let him know, DRIVING MYSELF to the hospital and then checking in and waiting patiently to find out what was going to happen and waiting PATIENTLY for james to make the 7 hour drive home to be with me during my labor....laboring for more than 32 hours and NEVER dilating past 3cm....until FINALLY, the decided to go ahead and do a C-SECTION....then having a CRAZY time with anesthesia....but then, giving birth to the most AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL BABY in the WHOLE WORLD!!!! what an awesome thing it was...we had my mom, mil, brother, family, friends there to welcome him into the world...it was truly a beautiful day in my life. i LOVED becoming a mom...being BLESSED with that beautiful baby boy....and james was such a NATURAL DADDY!!!!! oh, the JOY seeing the smile on his face and just seeing his happiness in becoming a father....it was truly such an awesome sight and he did such a GREAT JOB!!!

and so the years have happened and we are now 10 years into my sons beautiful life...i can't believe that a DECADE has happened already in a BLINK of the eye...wowow...i THANK GOD for every SECOND of his little life!! he is ALMOST as tall as i am...probably by the end of the YEAR he might pass me up!! who would have believed that (and i can already hear my nieces saying that it is EASY to pass you up, aunt chayo!!:) alex has done AMAZING in his schooling years!! he is now going to 5th grade and he LOVES HOMESCHOOLING!! he is soooo smart and he amazes me with his thinking process and also he can remember sooo many things! and what an AMAZING BIG BROTHER he is to both of his brothers! he takes care of both of them and is always willing to help with them...even, helping with MATTHEW when there is a medical problem! and this child has gone thru soooooooooo much too in his short life. he has practically LIVED at the DOCTORS OFFICE/HOSPITAL with matthew...and thru all of these appointments where he has had to be QUIET for a long period of times and being such a a good kiddo and just sitting there playing quietly and understanding that this was serious ....wowowowow...i love this child soooo much and i always PRAY TO GOD that HE GUIDE me in the RAISING of my children ESPECIALLY ALEX since he and i are soooo alike that we are SOOOOOO STUBBORN!!!

soooo....TODAY, AUGUST 10TH WE CELEBRATE OUR SON'S LIFE....WE GIVE GLORY TO GOD FOR BLESSING US WITH THAT BEAUTIFUL CHILD AND WE PRAY THAT HE CONTINUES TO GROW AND STAY HEALTHY AND STRONG!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU, SON!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

SURGERY DAY.......

so, today is the DAY...i am of course right now writing from my memory because after i had the surgery, i lost the use of my right arm for about 7 days and even today (8/7/12), i can't do much and it is hurting me a LITTLE BIT to type this but i will SLOWLY try to finish and get caught up on my blogging!!


sooo, the day started with getting up early and getting ready in some comfy clothes and no food or drinks since midnight...i COMPLETELY forgot about my paralyzed tummy and that i SHOULD have tried to empty it a couple of days BEFORE HAND....oh well, too late now! so, my MIL came over and will be staying with the boys for me and of course matts nurse will be taking care of him...honestly felt surreal because i was not apprehensive or upset or worried or ANYTHING...it just felt like another normal day! i was not even NERVOUS!!!! SO, james and i left the house about 0730 and headed over to the medical center area to get ready...it was AWESOME having james there...i knew that he was going to have to take a lot of the load for at LEAST couple of days until i was back on my feet but i didn't feel bad and i KNEW that he could do it!! i remember when i have been on my own with my 3 kids when james was deployed to IRAQ and every time that he has to leave for duty for a couple of days-weeks...so i KNOW if i can do it, so can HE!!

soooo, we get there and head up to the front desk and as i am getting my paperwork, my phone rings and i step away to answer because the number looks familiar and as i am talking to the lady, james is like pointing to the lady with her back to me at the desk who is CALLING AND TALKING TO ME ON THE PHONE!! HAHAHAHAHA...pretty funny stuff!! we all laughed about it! so, i finish my paperwork and with in 15 mins, we was taken back and i was told to remove everything and put on my gown/hat etc...unfortunatly, it NEVER fails every time that i have a surgery it almost NEVER fails that AF ARRIVES!! GRRRR...anyway, TMI...so, i laid down and just chit chatted with james and the nurse and answered tons of questions and signed some forms...she started an IV on me (after blowing one attempted on my left inner forearm) she started one on OLD FAITHFUL which is my left hand! :) there are soooo many scars there from the numerous IV's i have had....anyway, the resident came in, then the DR and then the anesthesiologist...we all had tons of questions on what to expect...he marked my right arm and showed me more or less how big the cut was going to be...WOWOWOWOW...i didn't know it was going to be that BIG! about 3-4 inches...pretty long..oh well!! i am getting ready to have enough scars to compete with matthews scars BUT HIS ARE WAY COOLER!! ;-) anyway, after james and i blessed each other, they put some comfy meds in my IV and off i went!! wowow, it didn't take but a minute!!!!

so, i wake up with my arm in a HUGE cast looking thing....and in PAIN...they end up giving me the MOST MORPHINE they could and i still would not get rid of the pain, then they started me on the stronger stuff and it took a couple more shots of that before FINALLY had the pain under control. i explained it was probably because i took pain meds daily that it was not working for me...they agreed! anyway, i was off the bed and in a recliner with in 30 mins of waking up and OUT THE DOOR within about another 30 mins!! crazy how quick they get you in and out!! the surgery lasted about 1 1/2 hours long, 45 asleep in recovery and then another 45-1 hour after waking up out the door! ********THEY TOOK OUT MY TUMOR (SYNOVIAL SARCOMA) WHICH WAS ENCASED, AND THERE WAS A NERVE ON TOP OF THE TUMOR (WHICH EXPLAINED MY EXTREME PAIN THAT I HAVE BEEN HAVING AND ALSO WHEN I HIT IT OR WHEN MY NERVE STARTED FIRING) IT MENT I WAS GOING TO BE NUMB IN THAT ARE (WHICH IS FINE WITH ME BECAUSE AFTER ALL THE PAIN I HAVE HAD, I DEFINETLY NEEDED THE RELIEF WITH THAT...THEN AFTER THEY TOOK THE TUMOR OUT, HE FOUND SOME MORE SUSPICIOUS LOOKING STUFF AND HE REMOVED THAT TOO ALONG WITH SOME HEALTHY TISSUE TO GET IT BIOPSED....THEY STILL DONT' KNOW IF I WILL HAVE CHEMO/RADIATION THERAPY AFTERWARDS...ONCE THEY GET THE RESULTS, THEY WILL HAVE A ROUND HOUSE MEETING AND TALK ABOUT OPTIONS WITH ALL THESE ONCOLOGIST AND OTHER DRS, THEN WHEN I GO FOR MY FOLLOW UP MEETING ON THE 13TH, I WILL HOPEFULLY GET THE RESULTS THERE*********

anyway, back to me, as we leave the parking garage, i started feeling sick ended up tossing up (or my interpretation of it since i can't really do it) and did it again when i got home a couple of times...crazy!! after that i just chilled on my couch with my arm up and just trying to keep ahead of the pain and the SWELLING on my hand...as long as i kept my arm up, it kept the swelling down a bit...after that, i just layer down for a bit and relaxed...THANK YOU GOD FOR A GREAT SURGERY DAY!!!!!

getting ready for my surgery tomorrow...

and i am FINE...i got the call that i had to be at the surgery place by 0815ish and i am READY...i don't know what is going happen, how much it is going to hurt or how it is going to feel ANYTHING but i am just ready to get this part of my life STARTED so that it can be FINISHED GOD WILLING....i have had sooooo many people praying for me and i have felt soooo BLESSED about this because i feel such LOVE AND COMFORT from those wonderful people all around the world!! i have been BLESSED!!!! i have done nothing really to get ready...i have not let this upcoming surgery really affect my everyday life....i have just continued to live my life to the fullest and just ready for whatever is to come....

DAY 5....ON THE ROAD HOME!! :)

started our day with the signature breakfast and then just packed up and OUT the door we were by 1030!! i LOVE MY KIDS...they are such GREAT GREAT GREAT TRAVELERS!!! they just hang out and watch what is going around the drive and play with games etc. alex has started his CAR LICENSE WATCH and it was so much fun checking out all the different car and their plates...it ended up taking us about 6 hours or so...we made it back JUST IN TIME to pick up our pooch, SIMBA from the vet...he was soooooo excited to see us!! :) he is just such a GREAT part of our family...it was awesome to see him and have him back in our home..i know that he was in shell shock and wondering where we were...he is STILL such a puppy...not even a year old!!

well, this vacation will be going down as the THE BEST VACATION EVER!!!!!!! it felt so awesome and we had so much family time!! and you know that we were just together the WHOLE time and you know this because if you know ME you know that i am a READER..i love to read and i can put down a book a day and during a normal week, i usually read at LEAST 2 books...and i think the WHOLE 5 DAYS i think i read about 50 PAGES...PAGES...PAGES!! that is crazy!! so NOT ME! we had soooo much fun and it was just GREAT to be together...the LODGE was like that...all we had is FAMILY TIME...from the water park, to running around the lodge looking for clues for the MAGI game...it was just amazing!!! and what was funny, is that in a LITTLE park of my mind, i thought of this vacation as MY MAKE A WISH vacation!! cause i KNEW that i was going to have surgery on my cancer on tuesday 31st and i didn't know WHAT i was going to have to do after the surgery wether i was going to have to do chemo/radiation....so, i want to think and i KNOW that GOD gave us this AMAZING VACATION so that we could just be with family and just be TOGETHER...I THANK YOU GOD FOR BLESSING OUR FAMILY WITH SUCH AN AMAZING VACATION!!! <3 <3