ok...had to share with ya'll....

some awesome SHORT VIDEOS that a fellow soldier of james unit MADE while he was over there in IRAQ...they are just OUT THERE and i am just AMAZED at his imagination!! i know that you will LOVE THEM!!! they put such a SPIN on things!! ALL the soldiers that you see on the video are from my dh compound....you will see pictures of BUCCA and the surrounding area...but be warned, there is SOME foul language involved...not much but some....i know that you will enjoy them! please let me know what you think.... leave a comment on his MYSPACE thing so you can tell him too...his website is WWW.WALRUSFLIX.COM....i think he is very talented!!!

here is MY FAVORITE:
CAMP BUCCA ADVERTISMENT:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=34757716

AND MY SECOND FAVORITE:
EVERYWHERE:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=32536431

VACATION MCGREGOR:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=25837561

COLD SODA:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=34340475

OPERATION ESCAPE: (TONS OF SOLDIERS GOING HOME!) my dh comes out on this one..
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=34759825

TALES FROM THE SANDBOX: CARE PACKAGE
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=22561246

TALES FROM THE SANDBOX: ROCK MAIL
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=23142514


TALES FROMT HE SANDBOX: FORMATION
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=23071839

TALES FROM THE SANDBOX: RIOT
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=24726411

has it really been that long?!?

wow, i can't believe that it has been over 2 weeks since i posted ANYTHING to my BLOG?! WHERE has the time gone? well, so much has happened in these last 2 weeks....the most IMPORTANT thing and the BEST thing that has happened is that JAMES CAME BACK HOME!!!!!! yep, he made it into the united states on MATTHEWS BIRTHDAY!! that phone call was just the BEST!! and then after MUCH going around and around on whether he could come home or not HE WAS ABLE TO COME HOME FROM MEMORIAL DAY THRU THE 5TH OF JUNE!!! that was WONDERFUL to be able to be with him again! here is a picture from that day:


and of course, the first thing they did when they got home was WRESTLE TOGETHER! they talked about that EVERYTIME that they talked on the phone...that is one of their FAVORITE thing to do!! here is a picture of THAT!:



so, we kept a pretty busy schedule the whole time...it was really crazy because i had to keep the normal schedule of therapies and doctors appts because i was never sure if he would be coming in or not....so, needless to say, we were busy from that day ON! and then we were doing finally prep for the upcoming birthday bash for matthew! it was really crazy!! and then of course matthew was still SICK and on OXYGEN during this whole time....and then we got our VEHICLE...yes, we got a NEW CAR!! i am so happy for james...his truck was falling apart (almost 14 years old!) and he decided on a 2008 FORD EXPEDITION ( i know a gas guzzler) but we need a big vehicle because first, we have 3 CAR SEATS and one of them is a special needs one that is pretty wide, we also have the WHEELCHAIR STROLLER which JUST fits in the expedition, then we have to tow a 23 foot RV and our BOAT!! and this one is 4 wheel drive and has a TOWING PACKAGE included with is NICE!! and here is the picture of it with our 2004 expedition right next to it (a his and hers kinda thing!):




and then a quick picture of matthews birthday party...here is a picture of him munching on his BIRTHDAY CAKE..YUMMY!!:




so, james again left on the 5th back to el paso then onto LOUISIANA for BNCOC..he will be gone until AFTER the 19th...difference is that he is on US SOIL, and we get to talk all the time during his class!! poor guy is working his BUNS off! he says it is pretty tough..he is waking up at 4 am to do PT and then the have class until after 7pm and then they have all this HOMEWORK!!! he is pretty beat!!

anyway, we are REALLY EXCITED and PRAY that he gets his 30 days off so we can do some SERIOUS bonding and RVING!!! WWWOOOOOOHHHHOOOOO!!!

well, i must run..i will start to post normally now!! i actually have one more post right after this...pretty interesting stuff!

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE PRAYERS....

hola everyone....well, my prayers and all those that prayed for this are ANSWERED!!! THANK YOU GOD, james will be HOME ON MODNAY!!!!!! YYYIIIIPPPPEEEEE!!!! they granted him LEAVE for those days before his class!!! :) they were not at first but he was able to take leave and I AM SO THANKFUL!!!! he will not be coming home with the others at the airport (they are coming home on tuesday 3:30pm) but he will be driving down with some other soldiers that have to bring down some vans! i asked him if he wanted me to buy him a ticket to come home but he said that he would ride with them instead of shelling out some money.....whatever he wants! i am just so excited and happy and my boys are going CRAZY getting alll excited about him coming home and of course i am too!! i went to the store today and bought all his favorite stuff!!! so THANK YOU ALL for all your good thoughts, prayers for this!!

i just wish joshua and matthew were feeling better.....matthew is currently sick enough to need oxygen during sleep!! :( noooot happy...

well, take care everyone! i will share some pictures of the homecoming with ya'll....unfortunatly, he will not get to be at the homecoming at the airport but we will be there in spirit and we MIGHT get to be there to welcome the other wonderful heroes home too....and if anyone wanted to be there to welcome them i am sure they would appreciate it!!!


GOD BLESS!!!

GUESS WHO IS CRAWLING?!

yep, THURSDAY while i was upstairs, my little guy started to CRAWL!!!! awwwwww....i am so happy?!?!? i am not sure on that but right now i am!! it is sooo cute to see his little tush in the air as he crawls about...he is LOVING IT and loves to go everywhere now...he is off and running!!! toooo cute!! unforutnatly, he has been sick exactly a week today...we went yesterday to his well baby (15 lbs 4 oz) and all check out well but he is WHEEZING!! we took him to the dr on MONDAY and he was just junky so they called it a COLD...well, yesterday, he was STILL wheezing and junky so they gave him an antibiotic and on neb treatments for a week!!! i wonder if he will have respiratory issues now? he has had them at LEAST 4 times since he was born..hmmmmm...

no news yet on james...GOD WILLING he will call with news that he can come home EVEN for a couple of days!! we shall see...still praying!!! but i love being able to call him...i think that is the HIGHTLIGHT of the days...you can NEVER understand how much calling someone feels like until you can't! when he called me the first day that he was in the u.s. i IMMEDIATELY called him back BECAUSE I COULD!! for a whole year now, i have had to WAIT for a phone call from him and not have that CONTROL to be able to call him when i needed to or wanted...what a BLESSING!! i love just being able to pick up the phone and CALL HIM....THANK YOU GOD!! :)

well, MATTHEW is SICK RIGHT NOW.,....we had a ROUGH day last night....he got junky 2 weeks ago yesterday and on tuesday night, he spiked a fever!!! GRRRRRR....then after that he just had a low grade temp and then on thursday, he started to reflux after his food and then he desated and then he spiked a TEMP!!! SAME for friday we took him to the dr and he sent us over to get an XRAY at the hospital... and last night, it was AWEFUL! he was up all night coughing and choking..i had to do some treatments and suctioning and then i had to give him motrin cause he spiked another temp at 4am!!! GOD WILLING this will all clear up...did i forget to say he is STILL on antibiotics>! where is this coming from?!

ANYWAY, it will be a quiet weekend...i don't have any nurses this weekend until tuesday and that is OK with me!! i sometimes enjoy just our family time togehter...the nurses have been WONDERFUL but sometimes just being a family is PERFECT!!!

ok, feeling better...

i think that it was just a bunch of SHOCK on my part why i let it get me so down yesterday when i got the news that he was being held on ADMIN HOLD....after a year away, to THINK that you would be able to see him before his school and then let it be taken away was just too much for me FOR THE MOMENT!! i am just blessed he is HOME in the UNITED STATES...that is the most important thing....so, we will wait and see if MAYBE he can get a 4 day pass or something so that he can come home before he goes to school....i am praying so hard!! the boys miss him soooo much!! :)

soo, we pray and we WAIT!!!

i have no words right now....

or at least no good words....i just found some very sad news...well, it is mixed because i am happy he is IN THE UNITED STATES but.......instead of james coming home TUESDAY....HE WILL NOT BE HOME FOR A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can you say just HEARTBROKEN?!?!?! i am really upset and mad because they are keeping him because he has class...ok, his class doesn't start until JUNE 7TH....he will just be WAITING OVER THERE UNTIL IT IS TIME TO GO TO CLASS!!!! i am just so MAD right now!! why can't they just let those guys come HOME for the 2 weeks before they have to be in class?!? WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!? it makes no sense to leave them up there JUST because they have class june 7th!!!! soooo, now, we don't have the time before he goes to class to be with him, instead he will be THERE and we will be HERE!! i had already told the boys that he would be home TUESDAY and now i have to let them know that NOPE, NOT FOR A WHOLE MONTH WILL YOU GET TO SEE YOUR DADDY.....man, i am just a MESS RIGHT NOW!! unbelievable...i can't even believe it...that is all i have been thinking about since i talk to him this morning!! now i could go over there BUT, it is so hard to travel 9 HOURS over there with my 3 boys and matthew is sick right now, so i would have to take ALL HIS EQUIPMENT with us...and if i go by myself, well, if i had to stop to take a bathroom brake, i have to take ALL THE KIDS out, take matthew stroller out too cause he can't walk, and then go to the potty....it is a LOT of work....and then the party is next weekend, and then the following week (first week of june) he has doctor appts, not to mention all the therapy sessions he has etc....OMG....

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY THAT THEY CHANGE THEIR MIND AND LET HIM COME HOME TO HIS FAMILY BEFORE HE HAS TO GO TO CLASS....I just can't believe it....

WELL i got the call!!!

yep, jame called to say he was in the UNITED STATES!!! OOOOHHH THE JOY when my phone rang and it wa JAMES CELL PHONE!! THANK YOU GOD!! WE ARE SO HAPPY AND JUST EXCITED THAT HE IS ON U.S. SOIL!!!! he will probably make it into texas late tonight or early tomorrow!! YIIPPPEEEE!!! and i LOVED that he got into the states on MATTHEW'S BIRTHDAY!!! he was able to call him and talk to him on his birthday!! i knew he had to be somewhere he could't talk because he had not called all day...he was TRAVELING!!!!! :) SOOOO HAPPY!

MY precious alex....

last night, he was sooooo excited because tomorrow was matthews birthday!! he told me, "i am so happy and excited because after tomorrow, matthew will be 4 and he will sleep in my room and i will get to sleep on the top bed!! i am so excited" i had to let him know that probably not this year but maybe in a couple of years...

well, this morning, i am in matthews room (after starting with DRAMA last night by spiking a fever, desating and coughing and this morning at 4:30am waking up because he had a 102.5 temp!! couldn't help NOT having DRAMA on his birthday!)...alex walks into matthew room and i told him "come over and say GOOD MORNING and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to matthew" so, he comes over with this happy smile and as i am picking up matthew out of his bed/crib, alex smile gets WIPED AWAY and he says "he is still a BABY!! he is still wearing DIAPERS!!!" OMG, i busted out LAUGHING and i had to explain to him that YES he is 4 years old but he is a special little boy and right now, he can not do the things that a "normal" 4 year old can do but GOD WILLING in his future he will catch up! that seemed to pacify him until he said, "when he is 5....."

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY, MATTHEW ISAIAH!!

Hello everyone!!



We hope everyone is doing WONDERFUL!! As for us, well, just wanted to share with everyone that MATTHEW ISAIAH, our little miracle, TURNS 4 TODAY!!!! What a BLESSING!! We are so THANKFUL TO GOD for the miracle that HE gave us in our Matthew…



Now, I know that most of you remember the story of WHY we call Matthew our Miracle…if not, well, I will give you the ABBREVIATED version of his wonderful miracle of a story….(those that would like the FULL story, please visit our BLOG and I will have it posted there!!) Matthew was born FULL TERM via scheduled C-section on May 21st, 2004, 8:54am….we had a WONDERFUL pg and enjoyed EVERY minute of it! It was such a JOY to share it with our little boy Alex who loved his baby brother! So, he was born and he was crying BUT unfortunately, he did not “pink” up…he was blue and they knew something was wrong…he was transferred to another hospital after finding out that he had TOTAL ANOMOLOUS PULMONARY VENEOUS RETURN (TAPVR)..he had his first open heart surgery at 8 hours old….he was placed on ECMO (heart/lung bypass machine) because he couldn’t be on his own….he was taken off at 5 days old and we were told he would not survive the day…he was blue again….but because of GOD and TONS of PRAYERS for this little boy, he SURVIVED where NO DOCTOR thought he would and we were given a 1 in 10 chance that he WOULD live thru that day…he went on to have a g-tube placement at 2months old and another open heart surgery at 2.5 months old before he was able to come home at 98 days old…..the wonderful thing about this is since then, he has done well…he does have many issues and obstacles that he must over come. He takes over 10 medications on a daily basis, he has chronic lung disease that causes him to be junky many a time, he still is a 100% g-tube fed BUT he has gotten better at eating (thank you GOD), he is learning to walk and talk…he is our little fighter and our little MIRACLE guy!!! If you ever meet Matthew, you will come away feeling like you met someone special….he is always happy, laughing and trying to get your attention…he loves the GIRLS and loves to flirt with them and impress them….if you are someone new, he will show off for you and try to get you to smile (with that FAMOUS LIP!!)….



This year has brought many wonderful changes with Matthew….a year ago, he had some MAJOR complications on his 3rd birthday…he ended up BACK in surgery for his tonsils due to excess bleeding from his surgery…but what happened after that is what caused all the DRAMA…he went into MOBITZ 2 COMPLETE HEART BLOCK 5 hours after his trip back in the OR and had to be rushed to another hospital for immediate pacemaker implant….well, as we know with our little guy, he has other plans and thru GOD AND PRAYERS AGAIN, his heart rate corrected itself and he did NOT need to have a pacemaker implanted!!! And the doctor did not know what to make of it! And thru this year, Matthew has also had many issues with his seizures…this year, he had an increased number of seizures where he was having them one a day…he even had another HELICOPTER RIDE in October from Fredicksburg back to san Antonio due to an HOUR LONG SEIZURE!! We have added new drugs, taken drugs away and increased his seizure meds to try to get the seizures to stabilized…..THANK YOU GOD, we added and taken away and right now, he is doing GOOD… I think because of him doing so well, he has progressed more in his development!! He has also started EATING more since baby brother started to eat baby food….he did not want to be LEFT OUT of that area!! And don’t think you will feed him; he is so independent that he wants to do it ALL BY HIMSELF!!! He is a BIG BOY and he can do it! He tries so hard to self feed…we are so proud of him! He has also started to do more in the GROSS MOTOR area….he now can pull up on stuff and he is starting to CRUISE around the furniture! He is also getting to where he needs to be really quickly and also he is ALL OVER the house now, not just in his area…he is exploring his home by crawling all over!! I love it!! The other day, he made it into the kitchen and was playing with the pots and pans…his speech has also been coming out..He tries so hard to talk and I can’t WAIT for him to be able to tell me in words what he needs or wants me to do! he is just AMAZING to me!



So, FOUR YEARS OLD, THANK YOU GOD!! Amazing…INCREDIBLE…thankful! When our son was born, I had NO IDEA what would happen in our lives and what a BLESSING was delivered to us and given in our care. He is PRECIOUS beyond words to us and he is just such a PURE LIGHT in our lives….James told me just yesterday that when he hears Matthew talking to him on the phone, he just MELTS and he gets so teary eyed about it….that is what Matthew does to us…he has a smile that will just MELT your heart, he has these HUGE BEAUTIFUL EYES that say so much to us…..they are the WINDOW to the WORLD because there is just so much in there…I can sit and stare at them and just think and wonder….Matthew has been thru so much and thru it all, is just a happy little boy. He has been thru more thing in his four years that most of us have gone thru in all of our lives!! He is a TRUE MIRACLE…we are so blessed to have him in our life!



So, THANK YOU ALL for all those prayers and thoughts thru out the year for him. We feel so blessed to have ALL of ya’ll out there for Matthew….FOUR YEARS OLD…I can’t get over that fact that my little miracle of a baby is now FOUR YEARS OLD….I can think back to when he was born and being told that the cardiologist didn’t think he would make the transfer across town because he was that bad…and when they took him off of ECMO to “die a natural death” he did NOT die….every day is so VIVID in my thoughts…I will NEVER forget ever second of his life…I can’t wait to continue to ADD thoughts and events to it!! I look FOREWARD to it!!



So HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MATTHEW ISAIAH!! Thru GOD, You are our INSPIRATION and our STRENGTH….GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!!



THANKS for wanting to share in his life!! i will NEVER forget all those that supported us throughout those first days when things were so grim and so final...you will ALWAYS be in our hearts for that...and all those that have been there thru out his life, doctors, nurses, therapist, friends, family and people all over the world, many we have never met, THANK YOU ALL for being part of Matthew's life!!!



I made a montage for his FOURTH birthday…it does start off like the original one but it is updated (thre is music too!)! I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to leave a comment:

CLICK HERE FOR MATTHEWS MONTAGE



I hope to have news soon on JAMES coming home....GOD WILLING it will be SOON!!



don't forget to check out our BLOG for updated PICTURES of the boys!!! and there is also a LETTER from james as he was leaving CB, and just to find out when james gets HOME!! :)



take care everyone and GOD BLESS....



love,

James, Maria, Alex, & Joshua

MIRACLE MATTHEW'S STORY...

MATTHEW ISAIAH IS A MIRACLE...PERIOD!! Here is his story!!
We decided we were going to try to have another baby. We said when baby Alex was a year old; we were going to start "really" trying. THANK YOU GOD, we got pg that 1st month. That was a miracle in itself, we had had 2 previous m/c! We were solo happy! Baby Alex was going to be a BIG BROTHER! We didn't tell anyone yet. We had our 1st sono at 9 weeks and were able to tell my mom Eunice about our pg before she passed away! It was something that God had told us we must do and not to be afraid to say anything. We had a wonderful pg! Other than the occasional bout of nausea & constantly being hot, it was wonderful! We were all soooo happy and excited. We knew Matthew was going to be bigger than baby Alex because I was REALLY showing right away! We all enjoyed this pg SOOOO MUCH! Baby Alex loved to give hugs, kisses and love to his baby brother. He would give him juice, toys and share his cookies with the baby!
I knew from the beginning that it was probably a boy. We had a sonogram @ 26 weeks gest. We were NOT going to find out the sex of this baby, but my boys are NOT SHY! We went to get it done and when the sono person was scanning to see which way was up, James yells "OMG, I KNOW WHAT IT IS!" I said "it's a boy right?" and sure enough HE WAS!! We were soooo happy and excited!! I had already picked out the name Matthew and I had fallen in love with the name ISAIAH.
The day of the scheduled C-section, May 21, 2004, was sooo exciting! James and I couldn't sleep! We got there at 5:30 am and got prepped and ready! James looked soooo cute with his little outfit! Indi was there with us awaiting her new nephew’s arrival! We went into the OR about 8am and got things rolling. Daddy watched the WHOLE THING! MATTHEW ISAIAH came into this world crying at 8:54am! A sound sooo beautiful....we got a quick glimpse of him and he was BEAUTIFUL! Then they took him away. As they were working on him, the last thing I heard was that he was not changing colors...when I woke up in recovery room all was well in my life! I had just had a beautiful baby boy! Then a nurse walks in and stated, "WHERE IS MR GONZALEZ? YOUR SON HAS A HEART DEFECT AND HE HAS LUNG DAMAGE AND WE NEED TO TRANSFER YOUR BABY TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL" and walks right back out! I was stunned and asking, "My baby?" but she was already gone! Then James runs in and was crying so I KNEW that it was about Matthew. Then a couple of minutes later, the cardiologist comes in and tells us that he has a heart defect and they need to transfer him and he is VERY CRITICAL. I asked one of the hardest questions I could ask and that was the prognosis of my son, he told me "I don't think he will make the transport to the hospital". I was sooo stunned. We were crying in disbelief and just praying our hardest! I got a chance to touch him before he left. He was sooo beautiful! THANK YOU JESUS he made the trip to SW METHODIST CHILDRENS HOSPITAL! James followed the ambulance there. When they got there, they were immediately taken to the cardiac cath lab (2pm). They found out that he had a rare heart defect called Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return (TAPVR) and some serious lung damage. They had to operate NOW! James had baby Matthew baptized right before the surgery (4pm). He was in surgery until 12:30 am!! 8 1/2 hours! He is such a FIGHTER! They were unable to take him off the bypass machine after surgery, so they put him on the ECMO machine (heart/lung bypass) and some serious cardiac drugs and a vent. There was sooo many machines on him; it was hard to see the BABY! There were always 2 nurses in that room 24/7 just for him and a nurse just for the ECMO machine. You had to wear a mask/gown/hat to go in there. They were still unsure if he would survive. The cardiothoracic surgeon took a chance on Matthew because he was soooo bad and he didn’t know if he would survive even after his surgery. So, they explained to us that the only choice at this point was that we HAD to take him off of the ECMO machine because he could not survive living on it! So, after 5 days of being on the bypass, they took him off of ECMO to DIE a natural death. Our cardiothoracic surgeon and all the Drs involved were very frank with us. They told us that his chances were very SLIM that he would be able to make it because of the sever damage to his lungs and the tiny veins. I remember just praying and waiting in the waiting room for news. It was actually pretty quick. We then see the anesthesiologist come out and talk to us. He was VERY grave and very sorry to say that he gave him 1 in 10 chance of survival. He just didn’t think he would make it and that the only thing we could do was PRAY like we had never prayed before. There was NOTHING else they could do and he was very sorry. Then the intensivist, cardiologist and surgeon all said the same thing and said that they just didn’t think he would make it thru the night. He was blue again. His little body HAD to do everything by himself now. He was that bad. So we PRAYED and we called everyone and asked them to pray and then we went into the room to see him. We actually met a wonderful CHILD CARE SPECIALIST at the door of the PICU and she asked if there was anything she could do for us and I told her what was happening. She went into action!!! She was the one that got us the footprints, and models of his hands and feet. She made things happen. James and I and my SIL went into the room to see him. I told my SIL, TAKE ALL THE PICTURES YOU CAN. And she did. Words can not describe how it looked in that big old room. EMPTY. The ECMO machine was gone and the room looked empty and……SILENT. Just a big sense of sadness in the room. And then my beautiful Matthew Isaiah looked so BLUE and helpless. But we had a wonderful nurse that day that had always been very nice to us. She told us, “ok, let’s give him a bath” and we did. We just talked to Matthew and told him how much we loved him and how proud we were of him. The nurse asked us, “What do you want? Do you want mariachis? A cake? A party? You name it” so we asked for a birthday cake. We called all our friends and families and they all started to come in. we were also FINALLY able to hold our son. He was soooo beautiful. It took 3-4 people to move him from his warmer to our arms. And that is how you knew that they really expected him to pass. They normally don’t let you hold him right after major surgery, with his chest still open and ESPECIALLY with a vent on. But, they did it for us because they thought he would not make it. I went first and OH WHAT A FEELING it was too finally hold my son after 5 days old. He was so beautiful! Precious. I could not talk to him enough. It was so sweet of everyone to come by. I remember saying to James, we are going to make this a HAPPY day. I don’t want him to see/hear us breaking down. And we did. Everyone that came to see him was introduced to him. And then they would all start talking to him and tell him about themselves. It was really touching and awesome how he had already touched so many people not just here in San Antonio, but around the world. My internet family was all praying for him all over the world. All we asked of everyone was PRAYERS PRAYERS AND PRAYERS! Nothing else and nothing more. We had a birthday cake for him and all the staff came in to sing “happy birthday” to him and everyone said a prayer with us there in the room. It was BEAUTIFUL. And so thru out the day, we WAITED….for what, we were not sure just that SOMETHING would happen and he would no longer be with us. We would keep asking the nurses what we were waiting for and HOW it would happen and they said that he would just start shutting down and then he would be gone. I asked how long and they said, “His heart is strong” so, we waited and love and prayed. By 9pm, we asked everyone to go ahead and go home that we would call them to let them know what had happened. I remember holding him and being sooooo tired. I just kept telling James “please keep talking to him. Don’t stop talking to him” and he told me he would. I would wake up with him in my arms and James was just talking and talking to him about ANYTHING. It was so beautiful. Then it was my turn and he would take a nap holding Matthew and I would talk and talk. James and I held our miracle until about 2 am. We finally had to put him down before we dropped the poor baby! And we did and slept right there, me in a rocking chair with my legs on another chair and James in a chair. When we woke up, the MIRACLE OF MATTHEW had begun. We woke up at 7am at shift change and he was PEEING again!!! (They had told us the night they took him off ECMO that his kidney had stopped working because he had stopped producing pee.) He was still with us!! And he was doing AMAZING!!! NO ONE, Drs included, could believe he was still here with us. Our surgeon said, "We might have a miracle on our hands" labs & x-rays were started again. They started taking him off his cardiac meds and he did great! They closed up his chest and the dr said that he was his little "Lazarus". He continued to make progress and improve and be with us everyday. He has had several surgeries since his initial one and the BIGGEST ONE was a repeat of the first open heart surgery to fix the narrowing of his veins. He was in the PICU for the first 98 days of his life until he finally came home.

In November 2004, Matthew suddenly developed seizures out of the blue. They at first diagnosed him with INFANTILE SPASMS but they never developed even though he had all the ear marks for that type of seizures. His seizure disorder has had its up and downs. He has had to be airlifted twice due to the severity of his seizures and each time he has had his “BIG” seizures, they have lasted OVER an hour and have required us to give him heavy doses of seizure drugs and also has resulted in him stopping breathing and the medics to have to bag him and intubate him. This is going on till this day! On October 6, 2007 he again had another “big” seizure that resulted in him being airlifted to Methodist hospital. It is a constant struggle and we have to closely monitor him whenever he sleeps because his seizures happen when he is asleep. He is on FOUR seizure meds to try to control his seizures.

He also has chronic lung disease due to his TAPVR. He tends to get sick quite easily and is always at risk for hospitalization. He has to have a pulmonary percussion vest that he uses 2 times a day with his nebulizer treatments. He is on a couple of inhalers daily and we are on and off ORAL STEROIDS when he gets junky which is often. He we are always soooo worried about him out in public because he does tend to attract EVERY illness that is out there!!  But his lungs are what they are and we just try to maintain them to keep them healthy and clear.


He also has a mild case of Cerebral Palsy and is developmentally delayed. He is getting physical therapy 2 times a week, occupational therapy 2 times a week and speech 2 times a week. He also has a homebound teacher coming in 4 times a week for an hour thru the school district. He is mobile and he is able to do a form of crawling and is working HARD at standing and walking. He has overall low tone in his muscles. He wears AFO’s on his feet to help with this when standing and walking. He also has GERD and is 100% g-tube fed at this time but we are making progress on his eating orally!!

We are SOOOO PROUD OF HIM and are in AWE of his strength and his personality. He is such a HAPPY BOY and LOVES anyone who he meets. He has such strength in him and just a wonderful little boy! He amazes us everyday and we feel and KNOW that we are SOOOOOO BLESSED that he is here in our lives! THANK YOU GOD for this little boy and all he is!!

UPDATE FROM JAMES....

OIF 2007-2008
Camp Bucca, Iraq
20080518

Well hello to all! This letter is the closing letter from this place. I am sorry I have not sent much out to anybody as far as emails, letters, & phone calls. This place keeps me pretty busy. I have been blessed with the most beautiful wife in the world to always be sending me care packages. I have also received great care packages from the best mother in the world (my mom). Thanks. It has been a very different experience that I wish no other would have to do. All in all it has been okay. We don’t have as many mortar and rocket attacks like other places get to experience but that is just okay with me. I can always deal without them. I have developed a small case of forgetfulness but I guess it is the heat and that this place can do that to you. I can’t wait to get back to the states so I can regain my thought of sense. I will soon be able to do that in the NEAR FUTURE. I can’t say dates or times; it’s for the safety of the soldiers.
My time and experience here in Iraq has been different. I have experienced the following here in Bucca; lots of sand storms, tons of smoke (from burning trash), learning some of the culture, I’ve learned a couple of phrases and some words in Arabic, learned to take 4 minute or less showers to conserve water, learned that there are a lot of movies out there.
On my free time when I had off, I spent a lot of time in the gym and watching movies. There really is not a lot to do here in Bucca. The chow hall feeds you really good too; they give you the truckers special (like my dad would say). If you don’t watch out, you can put on the pounds easy over here. There was this one girl here who sent an email to her father and told him that she wasn’t getting feed but one time on a 13 hour shift. Well, what they do is bring one hot meal out to you and then they have MRE’s if you want to eat that. With the hours that we work, it’s all about time management. You have to make a schedule out for yourself so you can have time to do laundry, gym, call home, check email (time permitting), what ever else you want to do and of course time for eating. I had at least 2 hot meals in a 24 hour time. When I was on day schedule I would eat lunch after the gym before going in to work, then they would take us a hot meal out at the compound. Once you got off you had the opportunity to go get another hot meal if you wanted. By the time I got off, all I wanted to do was sleep. Then when I got moved to the night shift I would go to gym then eat breakfast then go to work and then they would bring breakfast out again, then once off you had the opportunity to go eat a hot meal if you wanted to. Like I said earlier, I was too tired to go eat that other hot meal. But, let me tell you I ate pretty well over here, so I had to make sure I went to the gym. I came over here at the heaviest I have ever been at 187lbs and now I am down to normal weight of 161lbs. I kind of fluctuate between 157 to 162 now. Now I just have to maintain that once I get home.
Now for the getting home part, once I get home, I have to leave again for school. That is kind of a bummer but it’s for my career so I got’s to do it. Right now I have all of my bags packed so that pretty much tells ya’ll how fast I am coming home. I have no sheets on the bed and no rug on the floor, YEAH! I can’t wait. Boy howdy, let me tell ya’ll. I have been waiting for this for the longest time now. Buenos, I have to go now. I got to go see a couple of buddies off and I’ll see ya’ll soon. Take care and God Bless!

Love, SSG Gonzo

sooooo close....

it is just really sinking in that in as close as a WHOLE BUNCH OF DAYS (could be more than few and less than a ton)(i can't say EXACT DAYS) our family WILL BE COMPLETE AGAIN, GOD WILLING!!! OMG, it is so hard to imagine him home with us...it has been more than 11 months since he LEFT!!!! soooo close....the butterflies are FLYING right now when i think of it....soooo close.....i talked to him and his last day working was on friday and i am SOOOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT! he has worked so hard out there....12+ hours shifts 7 days a week sometimes....in sand, heat, cold, etc....away from his family....so close....

he called today, early in the morning...it was so good to hear from him. well, he said, HIS BAGS ARE PACKED, EVERYTHING BUT HIS COMPUTER and he is just waiting for the call.........WOWOWOWOW....i am so happy and so excited...it really can't sink in yet that he is ALMOST HOME!! i am sitting here ANXIOUSLY waiting for a CALL from him saying SOMETHING....whatever that may be....wow, SO CLOSE!!!!

well, just something i feel so BLESSED about...

well, i just had to blog about this...why? because i feel SOOOOO BLESSED and PROUD of something that MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND I have done recently....it is not anything HUGE to anyone else, just our family but it is HUGE in our family....what?! well, we were BLESSED to be able to pay off MY TRUCK, OUR BOAT and MY STUDENT LOAN (FINALLY!!)!!! i am soooo happy! we made a decision that instead of blowing our IRS money on something silly, we would PAY OFF some bills....soooo, combined with his bonus that he recieved due to re-enlisting over there, we were able to PAY THESE THINGS OFF!!!! how AWESOME is that?!?!?! and i know i FEEL SOOOO GOOD!! and we are not just going to SPLURGE on that extra money that we have, instead we will apply THOSE PAYMENTS towards our RV so that we can GOD WILLING pay that off SOONER!!!!! they are already in our budget so we are just going to act like they are still THERE!! i know i am so excited about it!! it is just such an accomplishment for my family to do this! i am so excited to pay them off......WWWOOOOOOHHHOOOOOOO!!!

ANYWAY....i know you have noticed the new SONGS on my blog....if you haven't guessed, just songs that have the word "HOME" in it and have meaning for my wonderful husband coming HOME!! if you know of another song, LET ME KNOW, and i will see if i can upload it so we can hear it!!

ALEX said something kinda sad today...

well, today, as we were doing class, he asked me "are we going to talk to JAMES today?" i was like, "who?" he said, "you know, the guy on the computer that we talked to yesterday?" i was like, huh?!?! you mean DADDY? he said, yeah, that guy...hmmm....didn't know what to say about that!!!

well, we are getting ready for the party and for JAMES to come home!! i can't give dates but GOD WILLING it will be SOON!! i am so happy and excited!! and the boys don't REALIZE how close he is to coming home!!! we are soooo excited!

well, we are just gearing up with SO MUCH coming up!! our truck should be arriving by the end of this month (YIPPEEE!!) and with james coming home, getting ready for matthew party and just doing tons of stuff around to house to GET ready for james and the party.....wow...can you say TIRED?!?!?! i need my lunch tomorrow VERY badly....

ok, so i am tired and just EXCITED that it has flared up my FIBRO AND MY ECCEMA!!! so, i am not SLEEPing as much because of the fibro, i am in PAIN cause of the fibro (IN THE AM IT IS CRAZY!) and then i am ITCHING caue of the eccema....MAN! I AM A MESS!!! oh well, GOD WILLING once james comes home it will SLOW DOWN.....right...

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY....

I AM A MOMMY BECAUSE OF MY BOYS....

awwww...well, it is MOTHERS DAY...what a BEAUTIFUL DAY this day is for me...who would have EVER believe that i am a MOMMY TO 3 BEAUTIFUL BOYS!!! i am so proud to be called mommy....i can't wait to hear my 4 year old and my nb say that word to me. i am a mommy....what an HONOR and a BLESSING it is for me to be a mommy...i look at my boys and just MARVEL at their BEAUTY...to believe that GOD BLESSED me with these precious children...they are mine....amazing. i can hardly belive it...i look back on my childhood and think about my mom and all she was to me...how she believed in me and just LOVED ME despite everything in HER life and what she had been thru, she loved me....she was so proud of me and my brother....her 2 joys in her very troubling life....i always knew that i was loved and that she would try to EVERYTHING in her powers to be there for me....i want to be a mommy just like her. she loved her kids and NO ONE can ever take that away from her.....

my mom and her children, my brother and i....


my mom and her baby...with her first grandchild..the only one that she got to meet..


so many wonderful mommys i have been blessed to meet now that i am a mommy. being a mommy is so special and you belong in a wonderful category...you have things in common with other "mommies" out there....i have been so blessed to have so many friends...some mommies that i have known all my life, some that i have now known since alex was a baby, others that i have RECENTLY met thru homeschooling my boys...what a joy it has been to be blessed with them in my life....they, to me, are what mommies are...they love their children, they love their family, family is the priority....thank you GOD for giving me such blessing in my life...

i heard this poem back when i was little in CCD class....i loved it then, but i didn't understand it....NOW I DO...so to all the mommies out there, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY....you are so BLESSED TO BE A MOMMY!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL...

enjoy the poem...

When God Created Mothers

When the good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day
of overtime, when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of
fiddling around on this one." And the Lord said, "Have you read the
spec on this one? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic;
have 180 moveable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and
leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up; a kiss that
can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; and
six pair of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six
pairs of hands...no way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems,"
said the Lord. “It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord nodded. "One
pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids
doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here, in the back of her
head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she has to know, and of
course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up
and say, 'I understand and I love you,' without so much as uttering a word."
"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve gently, "Rest for now.
Tomorrow...." "I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating
something close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when
she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger, and
can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."
The angel circled the model of the mother very slowly. "She's too soft," she sighed.
“But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what the
mother can do or endure." "Can she think?" "Not only think, but she
can reason and compromise," said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.
There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you, you were trying to put
too much into this model." "It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."
"What's it for?" "It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain,
loneliness and pride."
"You're a genius," said the angel.
"The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there."

By Erma Bombeck