HAPPY 23rd MONTH BIRTHDAY, MATTHEW!

wow, ONE more month untl matthew is going to be TWO years old!!! GOD WILLING!! i am soooo excited!

now, i did say i was reading the book, didn't say it would take me the 40 days it should due to so much going on!! i just hope to FINISH the book!!! :) anyway, this one is about "YOU ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT!" wow, when i first started reading this book, everything kept coming around to my son matthew....i saw it in my own life BUT matthew is such a BIG PART of what i do everday that i felt i was also reading it FOR him too!! this chapter basically says that you are here, in WHAT EVER shape you are in, because that is how GOD MEANT FOR YOU TO BE!!! he made us who we are and shaped us BEFORE we were born...there are no "oops" pg in life and all people are here because GOD wanted us here! he talks about the world and how "perfect" it was to put people on it and that GOD created it just for us! wow....he planned EXACTLY how we would look, be, who are parents are etc thru the LITTLEST DETAIL!! that is how i KNOW matthew is soooo perfect to me because GOD created him....now, i think somepoeple might say, "well, then why did you not leave him the way GOD created him and not do surgery to correct it"....hmmm...i think it is pretty easy to understand that GOD also created WONDERFUL doctors who LEARNED how to help kiddos..that matthew was suppose be LIVE and be here....and i feel that his surgen was placed RIGHT where he was because that is where he was NEEDED!! as i always said, GOD played such a BIG ROLL in our lives from day one and most DEFINETLY in MATTHEWS life because EVERYTHING fell in place for matthew....from having a repeat c-sect (probably would not have survived a vaginal delivery), to the ambulance dr (our buddy), to his surgen not leaving after his last case, etc etc...GOD was right there thru it all!!! anyway, i could go on and on about this!!! :)
i will have to post the poem from this book because it is soooo true!!

well, onto life, my little matthew is SICK again!! he was sick back on april 5th trh the 12th and needed to be placed on oxygen and oral steroids...well he was well for about a week and now we are back on oxygen AGAIN!!! man, i am soooo sad for little man! he has been MISERABLE for the last couple of days and we just went to his pulmonologist yesterday and had an RSV swab done and also a chest xray done at the hospital and my BIG BOY alex was with thru it all!! such a GOOD BOY he was! i was sooo proud of him! he sat playing his game during his appt and then when we ended up going across the tunnel to the hopsital to get the xrays he did sooooo well! he played in the waiting room and when it was time to take the picture, he sat in the little middle room where the techs were and he played with a game while i was inside with matthew!! soooo proud of him! but, THANK YOU GOD, he does NOT have RSV and/or pnuemonia but we have to put him on his oral steroids AGAIN and do his treatments....poor kid! and i KNOW he is feeling bad because he is just grumpy!! poor baby!

and to make matters worst, today we had to go to BAMC to have molds done on his feet for AFO's!!! soooo, they had to make casts of his feet and MAN he did NOT LIKE THAT!!! he SCREAMED and cried and just kicked up a FUSS!!! Thank GOD james was able to go with me to that one and help out....poor matthew! anyway, they should be ready in a couple of weeks and they will help support his ankles and feet when he stands and walks!! i ams excited!

so here is the poem by RUSSELL KELFER ( i might get this in print for matthew someday)
there is also an area i am going to bold that is sooooo important for matthew...

you are who you are for a reason.
you're part of an intricate plan
you're a precious and perfect unique design,
called God's special woman or man.

you look like you look for a reason.
our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
you're just what he wanted to make.

the parents you had were the ones he chose,
and no matter how you may feel,
they were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
and they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
and God wept what it hurt you so;
but it was allowed to shape your heart
so that into his likeness you'd grow.

you are who you are for a reason,
you've been formed by the Master's rod.
you are who you are, beloved,
because there is a God!