MY MOM....

it's hard to believe but THREE YEARS AGO today, my mom was taken from us...she was only 61 years young....i sit here today remember the week leading up to her passing. i can recall it ALL like it was just yesterday.

you see, my mom had started feeling a bit ill for a while now....i had been trying to get her to see a dr and finally she agreed the weekend before to go to the drs...well, she never made it...you see, on monday, nov 10, she was taken to the hospital by ambulance because she was becoming VERY DISORIENTED and couldn't even walk. they took her to the ER....i remember going over there and i had alex, who was only a little over a year old, and waiting with my aunt and uncle. my mom kept asking for alex, her only grandchild at the time, but i was told i couldn't bring the baby back there....i will FOREVER regret not taking him in there regardless of what the staff was telling me....she just kept asking over and over for him cause she KNEW he was just outside the ER doors....well, during that time there in the ER, she told me she had asked the nurse for a DNR order...i also asked for one cause she was just ADAMENT about having one...they said the were getting one....found out, they never ended up getting one signed for her...

well, she was sent up to the CICU due to her low blood pressure...i went to visit her on tuesday after an appt with the OB/GYN (i was just 9 weeks pg with matthew at the time) and when i got there, the nurse asked me "does she normally sleep this much?" apparently, she had been sleeping continuously the whole time since the day previous....when i tried talking to her, she was very very tired and really didn't answer me at all.....sooo, i sat with her for a bit before i had to leave to get alex from the sitter....well, that was THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO HER....the next day, wed, i got a call to tell me i needed to get over the ASAP because my mom went into respiratory distress and was on full life support and they just didn't know what was going on and if they could keep her alive....well, she was in a COMA and would remain that way until the end....and when i asked about the DNR, the nurse was shocked and sadden that it had never been completed in the ER like it should of and if it had, she would NEVER had been on LIFE SUPPORT, something she told me she NEVER wanted to be on....so, she asked me what i wanted to do...i told her i would sign one for her and we would keep her until her son could come home from germany to be with her...well, during those days before my brother got there, we were with her all day...i asked the nurse if i could place her earphone on her and let her hear her CD (she LOVED her cd collection and listen to her all the time) she told me it was ok...so i popped the headphones on her and played one of her favorites "AMAZING GRACE" cd by the country artist....she started to cry...i will never forget that look on her face when i put her music on her...she was in a COMA and had not spoken or open her eyes but when i put her gospel music on for her, she started to cry....i am crying right now remembering that momemt....so, from that momemt on, i asked the nurses to PLEASE keep the music going for her and to change the CD for her (she loved gospel, opera & soul music...JOSH GROBAN & Andrea Bocelli will FOREVER have a special place in my heart...) anyway, it was wonderful to see so many family and friends come by the hospital to see her....she also had SEVERAL priest come by to give her LAST RITES...i am not kidding, she must have had then at least 3 or 4 times by different priest that had been friends with her...it was very moving...and then after my brother came and spent his time with her and then on NOV 15th, 2003, we gathered together with her one last time...all her brothers, sisters, family and friends where there in her room...we had a prayer service with her in her room...we all said "good bye" to her....and they disconnected her on NOV 15, 2003 @ 6:30 pm...she passed away within minutes of being disconnected....

i miss her sooooo much and think about her ALL THE TIME. alex, will sometimes tell me stuff like "grandma Eunice said...." or "this is for Grandma Eunice..." so i KNOW she is around her grandbabies all the time. he will also say stuff like "grandma Eunice gave me this?" and it will be a toy she had given him...we never let him or matthew forget that they have a GRANDMA in heaven that is looking over them....when we get a hellium ballon from whereever we are (a store, party) he will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS want to let it go when we get outside and he says, "this is for grandma eunice..." and he will let it go and say "i love you grandma & miss you" as he lets it go! he has pretty much NEVER kept a balloon...he lets them all go for his "grandma eunice" he also made a comment recently and asked if went to heaven, would grandma eunice have all his balloons up there waiting? WOWOWOWOW... of course we said, "yes"

so, today, my mom, my friend has been gone for 3 years...hard to believe it sometimes. i still can feel her around me all the time. whenever we go on trips as a family, james and i will IMMEDIATLEY start talking about her and how much she would have LOVED going with us. we use to take her whenever we went on trips...the coast especially! she loved to travel with us and she LOVED to just be out and about. i am sad that she did not get to be with her grandchildren that she LOVED SOOOO MUCH and that she never got to meet matthew.....bu i KNOW she is watching them from heaven and probably saying something like, "see chayo, i remember when you...."

I MISS YOU, MOM!!! I LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER FORGET THE SPECIAL WOMAN YOU WERE...i hope you are happy with the way i have turned out in life...you had a hand in it ALL THE WAY...THANK YOU FOR BEING MY MOM...you still inspire me to this day and i always try to remember what you have taught me....

EUNICE
MOTHER & GRANDMA
FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS AND IN OUR LIVES
SEPT 23, 1942 to NOV 15, 2003
REST IN PEACE...