OUR MIRACLE...MAY 27TH will always be....

the day that a MIRACLE was shown to us in MATTHEW ISAIAH...u know, i was going thru my blog looking for the story of our son and yes, i found the one of his birthday and the sadness of MAY 26TH but nothing on MAY 27TH!! and that is when our life looked soooo much better!! you see, MAY 27TH will always be a SPECIAL DAY for our family because THAT is the day that GOD gave us our MIRACLE in MATTHEW back! on THIS day, at MAY 27TH, 2004 @ 0200, james and i, after having passed him back and forth between us on that pillow to keep him still....we FINALLY put him BACK in his little warmer bed in PICU #18 because we were soooooooo tired and we were afraid to drop him! it took 4 people to get him in bed...he had 14 medication drips, a ventilator & so many other wires on him that you could not see the baby!!!! but we gently put him down...we kept talking to the nurses that whole night trying to find out what was going on. you see, everyone was soooooo POSITIVE that he would not make it thru the night and here we were already on the NEXT day and he was still holding strong. i remember the nurse telling me that he would just slowly stop being there...all his organs would start failing and then his little heart would stop...well, his heart rate when they first took him off of ECMO was WAY UP in the 200's and as the day went by, his little heart rate started to drop. i remember watching and just worrying when it would just STOP. and here we were, on THURSDAY MAY27th at 0200 in the morning, just so tired and so anxious about how it would happen and finally, putting the baby down and just sitting there in the rocking chair, with my legs SOOOO SWOLLEN and my back KILLING me after having had my c-section only 5 days before....with james by my side in a chair both of us EXHAUSTED and just so mentally DRAINED because we had been thru sooooo much these last 5+ days...with the BIRTH of our little boy MATTHEW ISAIAH, finding out about his heart and other issues, the ups and downs of his life....and now, just sitting here by his bedside, WAITING for the moment that according to ALL the doctors would come...i remember just watching those monitors and seeing all those lines and numbers and looking around his bed and seeing all his diffent pumps hanging from the iv poles and his ventilator....and then finally closing my eyes that were SOOOOOO tired and putting my head back on the wooden rocking chair and falling asleep.....

and then WAKING UP, in a PANIC worried that i had somehow MISSED the whole event and the last few minutes of his life.... and then hearing something right next to me and it was the NEW nurse on her shift (0630) and she was going over all of matthew and looking at his lines and his body and i remember jumping up and asking "is he ok?" and she saying "GOOD MORNING" with a big smile and she saying "he is doing fine!"...never THINKING i would hear those words about matthew and here she was saying that!! she said "LOOK!!!" and i REALLY looked at him and saw that his skin was not as blue as it was the day before...and HIS EYES WERE OPEN!!!! and just then, DR S. walking in and standing at the door, with his hands on his HIP and his HIP cocked to the side STARING at the monitors....and i remember, as i was standing over matthew bed, bending down to see and look in his eyes, and matthew HOLDING MY FINGER, i looked up at him and said, 'WE'RE STILL HERE!!!!" and him finally looking down at me and smiling and saying, "OK....LET'S SEE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS BABY!!!" and then walking out and starting all the paper work to get BLOOD draws, X-rays, labs, cardiac sonogram, and soooo much more to see WHAT was going on with him!! he was sooooooooooo surprised and PLEASED to see that he had made it thru the night....i remember nurses stopping by to say HELLO and to just MARVEL at matthew because sooooo many nurses had all known what was going on with matthew and having been there the day before when we SANG and had a BIRTHDAY PARTY for him...remembered seeing all our relatives here with us and just kNOWING that YESTERDAY, MAY 26TH, 2004, that they were witnessing the last day, hours, minutes of a little boys life and then NOW, TODAY MAY 27TH, 2004, walking into PICU #18 TO see and WITNESS our MIRACLE MATTHEW ISAIAH!!!! really, it was such an amazing day ALL day, getting phone calls from family and friends asking how matthew was and what was going on....EXPECTING to hear bad news and to console but INSTEAD, HEARING SUCH AMAZING WONDERFUL NEWS that they could then pass along to all our other families!!! what a joy it was watching the activity again surrounding matthew where YESTERDAY, the 26th, it had been very FINAL with no real action with the doctors....then basically leaving us alone all day with our son and TODAY,MAY 27th, then going in and out of the room, poking, proding, and NOT LETTING US HOLD HIM AGAIN!!! i think that was the BIG thing for us at that time because YESTERDAY, 26TH, they had finally let us hold him even with his chest open and such BECAUSE they THOUGHT it was going to be his last day....and TODAY MAY 27TH, NOT letting us hold him BECAUSE they needed him to be STABLE so that they could continue to monitor him and see what was going on!!! i also remember our beautiful FRIENDS AND SISTERS DIXIE & CHRISTA, coming back TODAY MAY 27TH, after being with us ALL DAY YESTERDAY, because TODAY MAY 27TH, they had not heard the news that HE WAS STILL ALIVE, but COMING over early in the morning so that they could make the PLASTER CAST of his little hands for us (which we had decided to do AFTER he was suppose to have passed away to make it easier to do without all his equipment on and INSTEAD coming over and finding out that he was ALIVE and it was such a BLESSING AND MIRACLE and them taking video of him and watching his little EYES OPEN UP FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! we have the video where christa is walking in and she sees us over by matthew talking to him and his eyes are just OPEN and looking at us and just WATCHING US!!! we love that video!!! <3

SO MAY 27TH IS A SPECIAL DAY IN OUR FAMILY!!! and every year, we REMEMBER the MIRACLE that is MATTHEW ISAIAH!