wow.....

that is ALL i can say for the past couple of days (since friday)....i am just SOOOOOO EXHAUSTED.....really. i don't say that often but i can honestly say that RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND....well, where should i begin?

this friday, we went to mr gattis for a party for my cuz 18th birthday....it was a GREAT day BUT i think we picked up SOMETHING there...or should i say MATTHEW picked something up and i am soooooo UPSET....i can't be sure if it was there but what makes me SAD is that he was GETTING OVER HIS ILLNESS that had lasted over 2 WEEEKS(after a TWO rounds of oral steroids and 10 days of an antibiotic)!! gggrrrrhhhhh,.....I am just soooo sad about that. and TRUST ME, the only thing he touched was a steering wheel BUT immediately after i sanitized his hands afterwards but maybe not enough?! i don't know, i am just sooooo sad for him....well on SUNDAY, at 2:30am, he woke up COUGHING AND COUGHING uncontrollably and i had to give him a treatment & suction. and when he woke up in the am, he was WORST!! he was coughing and feeling HORRIBLE (laying on the floor, not playing etc) and he just started to breath really fast, retracting, moaning, groaning, just very lethargic etc and i got REALLY REALLY REALLY worried because i was getting ready to take him to the HOSPITAL because he was struggling sooooo much....i called his pulmonologist and they had ALREADY seen him TWICE in the 2+ weeks of being ill and she told me i had to start steroids again, and she told me that i had move his treatments to every 2-3 hours and suctioning etc...and then he spiked a FEVER of 103.7 AUX and it WOULDN'T GO DOWN!!! i had to give him his bath because after 2 hours his temp was STILL 102.7 even after tylenol!! he was feeling SOOOO SICK!! the nurse was telling me to if i think he should go, to take him to the hospital....i waited it out but we had a HARD NIGHT and just WORRYING.....on monday, he was STILL SICK and not himself. we had a 2 drs appt in the am and then he was just soooo tired....then, that night HE WOKE UP AT 3:30 AM coughing again but WOULD NOT GO TO SLEEP!! soooooooooooo, today, i have been UP SINCE 3:30 AM (and didn't get back home (alex and I) for TWELVE HOURS!!) and our day started at 6:45am because we had to be at the hospital for an UPPER GI at 7:30am (the drs was just checking to see if he might be refluxing or aspirating) and NO he was NOT refluxing or aspirating....then I dropped of matthew and his nurse at home for his nap and alex and i headed to our WONDERFUL tuesday PLAYDATE for alex!! it was very nice to sit and chat and watch alex have sooo much fun! then it was BACK to pick up matthew and his nurse to take him to his pulmonologist appt at 2pm and we were there for 3 HOURS!!!! yep, he had wheezing all over and he was junky etc....we ended up getting a nasal wash, a treatment with the PULMONARY CPT vest and they looked like they might want to admit him....but they sent us home on......21 MORE DAYS OF ANTIBIOTICS, ANOTHER ROUND OF ORAL STEROIDS and WE ARE ACTUALLY WAITING FOR HIS PERSONAL CPT VEST MACHINE!! if you remember, this is the video i had back on MARCH 10TH of him in his vest....we are now in the process of getting him one of these for him to use EVERY DAY to help him out....wow...anyway, it was CRAZY and i am just sooooooo sad for him because i know he does not feel good....it has been really hard because it has been NON STOP this WHOLE MONTH......and i am now almost 35 weeks along....less than a MONTH before we meet our newest baby boy.....how EXCITING...i am just THANKFUL TO GOD everyday that i don't feel bad and that i still have energy and don't feel big or antying....i can't imagine if i DID and what i would do!!!

sooooo, we are just PRAYING that he clears up....he NEEDS to get BETTER because i hate for him to use all these meds and him just not feel like himself.....

anyway, tomorrow we have ONE appt and then that is it!! i am EXCITED about that!!

please, just pray he gets better.....he needs all and any that might come his way!! thanks....

GOOD NEWS.....

hello family & friends!!

we hope everyone is doing GREAT!! if you are in san antonio, i hope you have your BOATS available with all this RAIN!!! you gotta love when they say that the aquifer is FULL and can't take any more rain! when have you EVER heard that?!?!?! anyway, i for one, am HAPPY that we are not in a drought like usual but BOY my grass is SOOO HIGH and it just keeps GROWING! gotta love that ( just wish james was home!!!)

anyway, all is well on matthew front! he is getting over his cold that he picked up THREE WEEKS AGO! yep, that is what is SOOOOOO IMPORTANT for these kids....if you are sick or think you are sick, DON'T get near this kiddos!!! honestly, for you and i, we get over it in a couple of days, this little one will go thru the DRAMA for a couple of WEEKS while on neb treatments, suctioning, CPT treatments, oral steroids, blood work, chest xrays, oxygen, antibiotics and possibly hospitalization (although this time we did NOT need to be there, THANK YOU GOD) but everything else happened!! and unfortunatly, we probably picked this up just being on out and about even after we are always careful on cleaning our hands and making sure to becareful with him....we can't keep him in a bubble and we don't want to because we want him to be able to experience life and such but MAN, you sure do wish you did when they get sick like this!!! he is currently getting better but is still on antibiotics & neb/cpt treatments and we are trying to get his feeds back up to speed! but he is MUCH better now, THANK YOU GOD! he is doing great on walking and pulling up to stand. on sunday, he actually pulled to STAND all by himself (he was chasing my phone on a chair) but he DID IT!! :) SOOOOO PROUD OF HIM! and he is talking more and using his signs too. he LOVES to talk to daddy on the phone...and he says I LOVE YOU, DADDA to james and we just MELT!! he looks better standing and he LOVES to pull up on me when i am sitting on the floor! and he just love to be right in the middle of everything. he is also interacting with cartoon such as DORA and clapping his hands when they tell you too and also shaking or nodding his head if they ask a question!! it is SOOOO CUTE to watch him do it!!!! he is also enjoying eating again. he is soooo cute when he is yelling at me to give him whatever i am eating... he is LOVING his PT POOL THERAPY!! he LOVES IT!! :) he looks soooo cute when he is swimming!! it has been a BUSY BUSY BUSY month and we having been going NON STOP now for about 2 weeks. EVERYDAY from early in the am till usually 3 or 4 pm....ALL DAY LONG....appts, therapy etc....CRAZY!

alex is doing great! he is getting SOOOOO BIG! it is just AMAZING to see him and hear him! his speech is so advance and he is really reading well now. slowly but surely he is improving his reading. he LOVES puzzle books and he LOVES TRANSFORMERS!!! he is not going to see the movie. everyone asks me if he will and i just think it is just TOO MUCH for him and his age so i will not let him see it. i don't know if i am over protective but i just don't like for him to watch anything not G rated..you know? i know he wants to but he get's it now because if you ask him if he is going to see it, he will tell you, 'no, it is to big for me. i am too little to see it!" he is such a cutie! this year, we will NOT be having a party for him. he says he is NOT turning 5 because daddy is not home....i am soooo sad about that but i have to respect that for him. he really gets upset if you question him about his birthday and he will tell you he is NOT turning 5 this year. my baby...i am sad for him because it is about daddy not being here. so we are just going to do something small for him on his birthday, maybe take him to chuckechees or something on his birthday. something fun. i am soooooo proud of this little boy! he is getting ready to start his KINDER curr. for homeschool. i think it will again be review but i might really get thru it and maybe start him on 1st grade stuff...not too much but maybe on things he is good at and slow down on things he is struggling with. he can sound out all his words and figure them out so we have to be careful!! james was funny and said that he has to watch him if he takes him to a public restroom on what is on the WALLS because he will start to sound it out and READ IT!! lol...i am still looking at getting him into a playgroup for homeschoolers....should be FUN!!

here is some of the EXCITING NEWS that came last week!! we have a DATE for our scheduled c-section.....

AUG 24TH, 2007!!!

WE ARE SOOOOO EXCITED!! it is EARLIER than the one originally thought i would have (30th) so that james could spend some time with the baby! BUT and here is the BIG BUT (not mine!! :) i have to have an AMNIO if i have a scheduled c/s BEFORE 39 weeks!!! can you believe that?! i refused the one earier but now i HAVE to have it if i want one before 39 weeks!!! YIKES! but it is to check his lungs....so i guess i will do it!! we are EXCITED.....our nurse will also be watching matthew on FRI, SAT,SUN during the day so that is a LOAD off my mind!! hopefully we will get a night or evening nurse to help out too! things WILL work out, GOD WILLING!

well, onto the OTHER exciting news.....on MONDAY we got the news that............JAMES WILL BE COMING HOME ON AUG 23RD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is SOOOOOOOOO AWESOME and we are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!! we did NOT think he would be able to make the delivery but we were just hoping he could spend some time home with him and his boys!!! he will be home with us until AUG 28TH and we are SOOOO HOPING it will be extended, which MIGHT happen! WHATEVER as long as we get to see him before he LEAVES!! right now, he will be in IRAQ on SEPT 1st.....wow, not tooo far away now. but we are ready! he will be in CAMP BUCCA in iraq which is a prison there. he is ready to get it all over with. we are HAPPY he will be at a prison....not away from us BUT at this prison for us is where we think is the best right now (is there a best?!) anyway, we just want him to finish and GET HOME as soon as possible, healthy and safe!!! but he is doing GREAT right now...just the usual, TIRED and working 7 days a week. he has been learning all those things he needs to do his job there at the prison....use your imagination! :) also, he now has to carry his weapon everywhere and i teased him that he has to sleep with it and sing that famous song from the movie FULL METAL JACKET "this is my rifle, this is my gun....etc, etc" and he laughs! i always try to keep it light and just tease him and make him laugh....and boy, do i miss him and his sense of humor!!!!

anyway, all is going well with the family. just dealing with the the day to day living and enjoying LIFE! i have been having TONS of issue with my fibro mixed with pg pain....it has been a bit painful but i am dealing with it. the boys are doing fine and just having fun and learning!!! i was also given a SURPISE baby shower yesterday with my good friends (even one from far away!)!! it was SOOOOO AWESOME and joshua got some CUTE outfits!! it was actually just GREAT seeing them there!! THANK YOU!!! :)

ok, take care everyone and i will update with any new news!!! just PRAY that james makes it home and that we DO have the baby on the 24th!!! WHAT A BLESSING!!!

take care everyone and GOD BLESS....

love,
JAMES, MARIA, ALEX, MATTHEW & JOSHUA (8/24/07)

well, i fell today....

yep, my MIL jinxed me!! :( it has been raining here like FOREVER and my niece and i went shopping for alex birthday and we were at toys r us....we were walking out of the store to our car and i stepped on the yellow arrows to show direction to go down the street and WHAM!! my right foot shot right from under me and as i felt it i KNEW i was going to fall and i bent my knee (thank GOD) and bent my left knee and ended up falling on my left knee!! it actually was kinda graceful!! :) but i am SORE NOW!! i was like, "pg lady is ok!!" it was actually funny but man, i am SORE SORE SORE NOW!! we went shopping today to get some stuff for alex 5th birthday....i am soooo excited! he is TOTALLY into the TRANSFORMERS and i we got him some cute stuff for that....we are NOT going to have a party for him because he does NOT want one! he said that he is NOT TURNING 5 THIS YEAR and when we ask him why he said cause daddy is not here....awww...i feel soooo bad for him....he really misses his daddy and DOES NOT WANT A PARTY....so what we are going to do a "playdate" a couple of days before his birthday with all his little buddies that he plays with (9 of them) and i am going to order some pizza and maybe some cupcakes and that is it! i am not going to tell him what they are really there for....it should be fun!

well, matthew is still really sick. he is on ANTIBIOTICS now and he is also on ANOTHER ROUND of steroids!!! yep, the first one didn't work and he is still on neb treatments every 4 hours!! poor kiddo! and this week we were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BUSY it was AMAZING!! EVERYDAY, minus tues, we were out from about 9 am to about 4 pm1!! crazy!! drs appt, hosp, xrays, therapy you NAME IT!! i think i over did it a couple of days cause i started to have contractions!!!!! and they were PAINFUL!! i honestly thought that i was going into labor ONE DAY but thankfully, all is well.....

it seems like....

life is going SOOOO FAST! i can't believe it has been about a week since i last posted! amazing! i mean to post more often but i just get busy or i am sooooo tired or.....the list can go on! but life here at the family home is going ok. we have a run of sickness going thru our house and that has been a challenge TOO!! it started with me last weekend....i started with sore throat and sniffles and it went from there BUT i think it is my allergies because it started after doing a BIG dusting session on my house!! well, then on WED, alex woke up with the sniffles and sneezing like crazy and then matthew started up right after naptime with nose runny!!! YEP, either i was actually sick (which i DON'T think so) or we picked it up SOMEWHERE!! well, alex and mine are slowly going away....actually alex is doing about 90% better and i am about 75% (still have the nose going) and then there is my little matthew.....matthew as usual, got the worst of it. that is what somepeople don't understand about matthew. for you or me, it is just a MILD cold with a couple of days feeling sick and then poof, we are done! matthew gets MUCH WORST! a simple cold turns into something else entirely! by THURSDAY, the next day, he was MUCH worst, with coughing, sneezing, and constant runny nose. thank GOD we had a drs appt already with his pulmonologist and we were started on neb treatments every 4 hours, and if he got worst, we were to start the oral steroids....soooo, by FRIDAY, he was WORST! so he is now on his run of oral steroids and is using oxygen during nap time!! yep, not a happy camper with treatments and suctioning going on! poor kiddo! his oxygen sats are also pretty bad! this is the FIRST TIME since james has been gone that i am doing it on my own. it has been really ok THANK GOD because i still have nursing help during the week during the day. just the evening is a bit tough. i timed it, it takes 30 mins to get him his treatments, meds and such before he gets to actually start to sleep....james feels really sad that he is not able to help me but i told him that all is well. i just PRAY that he gets better SOON!!!

alex is doing better too....he actually had to have the GRANDIUALOMA removed this past week on tues and it was pretty sad....he cried and he had to get a shot in the neck and then get the growth removed with a razor and then cauterized with a tool...he did SOOOOOOO AMAZING.....i am soooooooo proud of him....he is into TRANSFORMERS right now so i went and got him one because he did SOOOOO WELL!! he is getting sooo big! the dr thought that he was SIX years old and when i told him, no, he is only 4 he just about FLIPPED!!! :)

james is doing GREAT....just tired as usual and WORKING really hard....he did get a package from us and he enjoyed the goodies....they already sent MOST of his personal belongings overseas this week!! yep, it is almost that time for him to go over there...it is hard to believe but GOD WILLING he will be able to come home RIGHT BEFORE he has to leave to see the baby....GOD WILLING.....

well, we got in to an accident on wed! yep, my FIRST in like FOREVER!!! so one didn't see me i guess i was in their blind spot and they moved into my lane with me in it!! they just scraped my side and they have already paid for it and got me a rental and everything is getting taken care of right now!! i just took it in today (7/16)....

well, i now have gained a TOTAL of 4 lbs in this pg!! my dr was really surprised but HAPPY with the weight...she said i looked GREAT and that the baby seems to beding fine too! hb 147 and just everything looks well. i asked to see if i could schedule my C/S on the 27th instead of the 30th and to do that, i have to have an AMNIOCENTISIS!!! yep, they want to be sure that baby is ready to come out!! wow! i was kinda shocked but they didn't want to have any problems with the lungs of the baby....so she asked me if that would be ok and i said that that was FINE because as LONG as james was able to see the baby, i would do it! sooooo, she will call me back and let me know when the date was for sure!! i am scared but excited! i told her that IF i went BEFORE my scheduled c/s, i would TRY to have a natural birth!! i am excited that that COULD happen but i kinda know that it would be something probably that would NOT happen....we shall leave in GOD'S hands!! as long as the baby is healthy, i am HAPPY!

OK, well, that is it for now! we are preparing for alex NOT-birthday coming up...i will explain at a later date...ta-ta!

pictures....

hola everyone! i hope everyone had a GREAT weekend! this weekend was quiet time and a time to START CLEANING!! little by little this little house is getting a SPARKLING clean feeling FINALLY!! just tossing and throwing and shredding away!! and that was JUST in MY ROOM! i am just about finished here....we spent THE WHOLE DAY SAT upstairs and it was really nice...the boys had a GREAT time....getting into everything i was cleaning!!!

well, i promised some pics and here are just a couple of the boys!

this is of MATTHEW looking cool in his hat and glasses....isn't he just a CUTIE?!


here is matthew and his black eye in the bath....awww....he LOVES to take baths!


here is alex in his pool...funny story! i had PROMISED alex that we would swim that day because brother got to swim at therapy...he woke up about 6 am wanting to go NOW swim...i told him that it would have to be AFTER matthew ate...well, i watched the weather and there was this BIG BIG STORM coming in so i told alex we might not....then i couldn't do it and we ended up out there at 8 AM!!! yep, that early and they were able to be out there for about 45 mins before the storm hit! they had a BLAST!!


MATTHEW in his pool...


ALEX just lost his SECOND TOOTH!!! tooth fairy has been BUSY!! :)


i will have to post some more soon! take care and GOD BLESS...

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

hola everyone!! i hope everyone is doing GREAT and had a NICE 4th!! as for us, well, we doing fine....just missing daddy! i guess that will always be our answer! but really, all is goind well, THANK YOU GOD!

well, people have been asking about james....james is doing FINE, again, just missing his family. he has been officially mobilized for a MONTH now! wow, it goes by fast THANK YOU GOD! on his training, they are doing a WHIRLWIND of training right now...non stop! they usually start at about 4AM and end about 9pm.....and he is TIRED! they are doing stuff like learning how to take down a man (phyisically), firearms and also he ended up getting MACED on sunday and just YESTERDAY he was finally able to open his eyes normally! he said it was NOT a pleasant experience! he also said that after they got maced, they had to run an obstical course (about 6 different obsticals (taking down a prisinor, hand to hand etc)) BEFORE they got to wash their eyes!! yeah, he was HURTING! he said he physically STOPPED BREATHING when the water hit his eyes but apparently that is normal! but other than that, he has been just sleeping on his hours "off" and trying to watch movies! he took his dvd player and just asked me to send off the bose speakers...i am happy he has THAT!!! he has enjoyed the care package i sent with some pics of the boys and some goodies!!! i will get another one going soon so that he can get his speakers!!

well, alex is doing GREAT!! i am SOOOOO PROUD of him! yesterday, while we were at GRANDMA's, matthew had just finished his tube feeding and grandma had picked up matthew and was kinda bouncing him on her knee and playing with him when alex turned around from where he was playing with his cuz and said, "grandma, don't bounce him so much because he just finished eating! he might reflux!!!" WOWOWOW, i was just SOOOOOOO PROUD OF HIM! it made my heart just BURST with pride because he was taking care of his brother! just like that, just said it! wow....he is also doing better with brother....he is always loving towards him but he is being ESPECIALLY nice to him now...he lost his FIRST TOOTH on monday RIGHT before we went to the DENTIST!! he was sooooooo happy and he got his first visit from the TOOTHFAIRY too! :) his first TWO grown up teeth are in too! he is ready to lose one more too! james was really sad that he missed his first toothfairy experience....he will have to have some serious dental work next month though....we also went to the drs today because he has a GROWTH on his neck (looks like a blood blister) and the dr is sending us to a DERMATOLOGIST because he said it might be an ANGIOMA and it will need to be seen...that is kidna scary for us!! so please, just say a prayer that all goes well!

matthew is doing REALLY GREAT!! although, he is having some more seizures recently! within the last 3 weeks he has had about 15 episodes (today he had a 6 min one!) but he is doing well. he has enjoyed his aquatic therapy session but HATES HIS OT sessions!!!! he IMMEDIATELY starts to whine and to get REALLY SLEEPY...not wanting to work or anything!! he is not funny! but with his PT, he LOVES it and he walks up and down the hallway and of course in the POOL!!! today, he crawled up TEN STAIRS at the house!! james reminded me to do this instead of carrying him (which is getting REALLY hard to do) and we did and HE DID IT!! soooo proud of him! all i did was steady him. YIPPPEEE!! i feel he is getting so much stronger! THANK YOU GOD! this month he is going to be VERY BUSY this month with SIX doctors appts PLUS his 2 times a week OT & PT!! it should be interesting! we are just PRAYING that he keeps HEALTHY and also those seizures go AWAY!! but he is doing well. we are just marveling at his STRENGTH and also how smart he is. he learned to nod Yes & NO when appropriate. before everything was NO unless we prompted him to nod yes! so now, he tells us Yes & no!! that is EXCITING! and he is able to stack blocks without knocking it over (before he would not be able to release without knocking the blocks over)...he is also very verbal on what he wants and WHEN he wants it. we are always telling him to "use his words" which are coming along nicely! he is also able to use his PINCHER grasp better now. slowly but surely....THANK YOU GOD for EVERY little accomplishment!

as for me, i am doing GREAT!! i gained my FIRST 2 lbs of pregnancy at my last appt! i am sooooo happy that that is ALL i have gained! i feel GREAT except that now i am getting TIRED if i don't get my noon time lay down. it has been a GREAT pregnancy and i have been SOOOOOO BLESSED! i just wish james was hear to enjoy all the BIG movements that joshua does now or let him SEE joshua moving around....so far, all the test have gone wonderful and the 2 FETAL ECHOS have shown everything in the heart looking good. i passed my GESTATIONAL testing and everything and all the blood work has come back great! THANK YOU GOD! he is moving around and still kicking. i LOVE to feel him move around. i am 31 weeks along now! wowowow...they plan to schedule the c/s the LAST WEEK OF AUGUST!! we are HOPING for that monday so that we would have a BETTER chance of james being able to be there! i am getting EXCITED and ANXIOUS about it all! for me, the not KNOWING if i will have NURSING COVERAGE for matthew during the days that i am in the hospital is what is the HARDEST thing going right now. i don't KNOW if they will be able to staff those 48-72 hours of my hospital stay and without james here....what do i do? you can't just BABYSIT matthew...he has too many medical issues such as g-tube feedings, medications, SEIZURES etc!! my MIL will take care of alex for sure, but is unable to take care of matthew...i also have 2 GREAT WONDERFUL FRIENDS that said they would help and LEARN matthews care just in case they can't find some one but i still just PRAY PRAY PRAY that the agency will be able to find some nurse to work those hours...i think that is what is causing me the MOST stress right now. they have about 2 months to find someone BUT because until the 16th when i have my next appt, i will not be able to get a CLEAR date for the c/s, i can't tell them EXACTLY when it will be!!! that will STILL get them at least a month and a half time to get someone...anyway, i will leave it in GOD'S HANDS....

well, that is it for the update! i will try to up load some GREAT pics of the boys on our blog (www.blessingsinmylife.blogspot.com) i have some GREAT ones of the boys! probably by the end of this weekend i will get it done!

we hope everyone is doing GREAT! it has been a just a whirlwind of appts and this month will be THAT MUCH MORE BUSY! we are just enjoying everyday, talking with daddy on the phone and just trying to stay busy!!

well, take care everyone and GOD BLESS!

well, this weekend was interesting....

we had a nice quiet weekend.....it was REALLY NICE to relax and not worry about who was coming or where we were going....there was just one thing we needed to do and that was go to a b-day party for matthew's little friend and that was on sat...that was really nice.! we had a GREAT TIME. but other than that, it was just relaxing. now more than ever, this PG has been wearing me out!! it has been really hard to sleep. my FIBRO has been REALLY acting up....i am SOOOOOO EXHAUSTED and just really weary....my back is KILLING me and so is my siatic nerve....it is just so painful. and having to carry matthew up and down the stairs is getting really hard. but i keep doing it. my dr said that up to 40 lbs is ok....matthew is 33lbs but he is SOLID!!

WELL, matthew had his FIRST aquatic PT thereapy on friday! it was sooooo cute to watch him in the pool! he was SOOO TIRED before we got there. he was ready to go to sleep and was really fussy, then we got him in the pool and BAMM, just like that he was having a BLAST! it was sooooa wesome to see him. his PT was really impressed because he went right to work and was sooooo social (this was only the 2nd time she saw him!) and there he was in the pool with her and doing everything from kicking and swiming to walking up the ramp etc. you would nevere know that he had just been fussy and trying to fall asleep on us! then OT decided to get in and do their therapy in the pool too so ended up being in there for 1 1/2 hours!!! can you believe that? and then of course we CRASHED as soon as we got home! i wish i could have got some pics of him but there was another pt there in the pool. maybe this week?!?!?!

this sun he had another sz...it lasted about 3 mins and it was facial. it always scares me when he has one and i am by myself. what do i do with alex? that is such a delima if i have to got by EMS because i can't take alex with me!!! sooooo, i haven't figured that out yet and I PRAY TO GOD i never have to find out!! i just keep praying to GOD that he does not have any more szs!!

well, alex is doing sooooo good! i am so proud of him! he is such a good brother and son. i couldn't ask for anything BETTER! i just gaze at him and love him love him LOVE HIM!!! he is such a CUTIE!!! he loves his playdates with his cuz and he LOVES running around and getting into EVERYTHING!! he is REALLY MISSING DADDY though.....i am so sad that he does NOT want to turn 5 and does NOT want to have a party!!! and he gets REALLY UPSET if i bring it up! so what we are going to do is have a "playdate" the tue before his birthday and just invite his little buddies and then just have a 'casual' party without him knowing it. and if anyone gets a gift, i will take it and put it away until his actual birthday....

matthew is doing well. he is getting SOOOOOO BIG and just developing and growing. he is really loving standing and walking. he is also learning his shapes and sorting etc. we are REALLY working on words and shapes etc. he is also wanting to play with other kids. it is SOOOO CUTE!! AND AND AND we got the BEST NEWS in the world today.....the specialist called to say that HE DOES NOT NEED A PACEMAKER! YYYIIIPPPPEEEE THANK YOU GOD! he said we just have to be careful if ever he goes under anesthia and he had NO IDEA what happen with that heart block! so, although the month of his monitoring didn't turn up anything, he wasR EALLY SURPRISED BECAUSE OF THIS! but he was HAPPY that he did NOT need one! he said maybe in about 10 -15 years but right now....NOPE!!! THANK YOU GOD!

well, james is doing well. he has been gone for almost a MONTH!! hard to believe. he has started his training now so he is REALLY BUSY doing his training. he tries HARD not miss anything because he does NOT want to be nondeployable. if they miss training, they will be held back. now, that would be GREAT but but but, that would JUST mean that he would have to go with ANOTHER UNIT (who's duties might be house to house or something) instead of his unit!! sooooo, we SOOOOO WANT HIM NOT TO MISS ANYTHING!! i want him to deploy with his unit as he does because he KNOWS them and also the duty they are doing. he had to go to the ER on sat becaus he had a reaction to the small pox vaccine that he got along with all his other shots last weekend. he is now on antibiotics and benadryl. he was upset because they made him miss his hand to hand combat training. they are starting all of that....i just PRAY that he does well and that all GOES WELL!!

anyhway, it has been interesting. july will be a VERY BUSY MONTH for us, with more than 6 drs appts PLUS his 4 therapies a week we drive to.....it will be ok!

therapy

hola! matthew just started some new REHAB therapy at a PLACE! they have been coming to our home since he came home from the hospital at 98 days old! we thought we would try going somewhere to GET therapy and so far so good! we will even do AQUATIC therapy too!! that is sooooooooooo exciting because he LOVES the water! i am soooo excited! and here is some video of him....

this video is of his FIRST tricycle ride at the new rehab place! he did GREAT!

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just another video!! i am soooo proud of him!

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anyway, the boys are doing GREAT!!! i am soooo proud of them....we did have a bit of a mishap on tuesday....my beautiful alex gave matthew a BLACK EYE!!! and oooohhhh boy, he got in TROUBLE! he is actually still in a bit of trouble from it. he basically poked matthew with a toy and caused him to CRY and to get a bruising on him eye lid and underneath....i felt SOOOO BAD for matthew and i was SOOOO MAD at alex!!! i cried right along matthew!!!! james just HAPPENED to be on the phone when it happen and he was soooo upset too! anyway, that was DEFINETLY something i will never forget!!

alex is having the hard time with james being gone....he tells me ALL THE TIME that he misses his daddy...sometimes he says he is MAD at him because he has to work away for A LONG TIME....i always sit down with him and remind him that daddy is working REALLY HARD and that he doesn't WANT to be away but he HAS to.....then he goes off and plays. we give LOTS of kisses from daddy and we just always say how much we LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM!!

well, we did a bit of going to the park today after haircuts and they had a REALLY GOOD TIME....here are a couple of pics of my boys...

matthew had THREE SIEZURES!!

yep, it has been a bit over a MONTH since his last siezure but today, WHILE I WAS AWAY AT MY DRS APPT, he had THREE over 5 min seizures while taking his nap! i felt sooooo helpless being at a drs appt while my baby was having his sz! he has a GREAT nurse that called me as soon as he started having them and i was able to talk to matthew the WHOLE TIME he had his 3 sz! i was REALLY certain that we were headed to the ER because with each sz, he just seemed to get more unresponsive....i think he missed me! we had left the house by 7:45a and we got back at 12:00 and his nurse told us that the WHOLE time he was calling for ME!! AWWWWW.....soooo, we got back and he gave me this BIG sleepy smile and started to talk and rub my tummy....my poor baby....i felt sooooo bad for him....i just got off the phone with his neurologist and he said that he thinks he is CLUSTERING (one BIG sz spread out) so we will have to give him DIASTAT after 3 mins no matter what now....wowowowow....i usually don't give it to him unless he is unresponsive for more than 3 mins....sooooo.......i just PRAY that it was FLUKE and maybe he was just tired?! GOD WILLING that is all. the drs said that something is coming up and THAT is why he had it (if you remember, everytime there is a SPECIAL event, he has sz (birthdays, holidays, vacations, etc) and he said 4TH OF JULY was coming up!!! YIKES!

anyway, james is doing fine. missing his family like we are missing HIM!!! he is soooo sad and upset that matthew had these sz. he was really worried about him. and he JUST found out that they leave SEPT 1, 2007!!!!! that is like 2 WEEKS earlier than we thought!!!!!!! SOOOOO, what does that mean for birth? i don't know. i am going to TRY to schedule it around 8/28 or so.....don't know how it will all come about. GOD WILLING it will be ok!! i am getting excited!

alex is REALLY ACTING OUT now. he is getting into soooo much trouble! he is really testing me! i just PRAY that he comes around. i know it is a BIG adjustment daddy not being here and all though he has been gone for 2 weeks before, it is DIFFERENT now because there is no DAY when he is coming back! usually i can put on the calendar, DADDY IS COMING BACK ON THIS DAY....now i can't....sooo, that is kinda bad. sooooo, i would HOPE that i get a date for him......

anyway, i am doing GREAT...baby G is doing really GOOD....very active and missing his daddy. i have gained my FIRST 2 LBS!! :) YAYAYAYAYAY.....i am soooo proud of myself for not having gained ANYTHING for the first 7 months of pg!! :) i had enough on me that i was NOT CONCERNED!!! soooo, everything went well....gestational test was great and i got my shot of rhogam (i am A-)....

anyway, we are doing well, and we have survived 2 weeks without dad. it has been REALLY nice to have been able to talk to him EVERYDAY!! THANK GOD! :)

well, we will be around.....just PRAY he does NOT have a sz.....

here is the video of JAMES from NBC...

VIDEO

i was SOOOO HAPPY to that my SIL found the video!! it shows james and our boys...and james is just CRYING.....please enjoy....

well, james left to EL PASO....

let me start by saying that i am sorry i have not been blogging as i have wanted to. it has been a VERY VERY VERY busy month now with james getting ready for deployement, matthews birthday, surgery & repeat surgery with hospital stay and scare of pacemaker....but i am now back!!

i will give a quick recap of what went on this weekend. this weekend was james FAREWELL CEREMONY at CAMP MABRY in austin texas and his unit is 2ND BATTALION, 131ST FIELD ARTILLERY. it was VERY EMOTIONAL. james has been gone since MONDAY 6/4 and we were SOOOO EXCITED that we were going to get to see him again!! well, my 2 boys, grandma and i left on SAT so that we could make sure we would get there on time for sundays ceremony. we spent the night there in austin at an EXTENDED STAY of america and it was REALLY NICE. anyway, we got up REALLY early because james wanted us to be there by 7am because there was suppose to be TONS of relatives there to watch. so we got there by 7:15am and thank GOD we did! we got GREAT PARKING and also front row for matthews wheelchair! it was REALLY NICE! the day was REALLY not too hot but it was really muggy and THANK GOD the sun was not officially up (until right before the ceremony started). well, as we pulled in, James saw us and called me on my phone. he was WAY OVER across the field in front of the buses. you could just see him waving at us! we were just sooo happy to be soooo close! so, we sat there at the bleachers waiting, we could see the troops marching in formation practicing for the upcoming ceremony. it made it soooo real. how can i explain the pride i felt or the emotions i was feeling seeing my husband WAY over there preparing to go to war? knowing that he will be away from us for a LONG TIME? knowing he will be missing so a YEAR of our life together and a YEAR of my kids life too? it was pretty emotional and all i can do is smile and wave at him so far way across a FIELD and soon to be a across the WORLD! i missed him ALREADY and he was right there across the field from me....anyway, as they got into formation there was FOUR group of soldiers...the band, then james group (smaller than the other) which was HEADQUATERS, and then alpha & bravo group which was REALLY LARGE (over 150 in each unit). they marched on field and i was SOOO PROUD.

i found out later after talking to james that when he started marching onto the field, he said that he looked at us and he just LOST IT. he told me, "babe, my eyes were not just tearing up, the tears were running down my face and snot and everything...lip quivering etc" he said that thru the whole ceremony, he would be ok until he saw us and then he would start to cry all over again (and he had a birdseye view of us). he got all of his buddies crying too!! my beautiful family man of a hubby...he will be MISSING his family sooooo much...i know that WE will be missing HIM BEYOND anything. so the ceremony continued with TONS of speakers etc....it was PRETTY EMOTIONAL ESPECIALLY when they retired the battalions flag. their flag has all these tassles that had all the wars they had been involved in or all the deployments they had been on since the unit was formed 1916 (THEY WERE CALLED THE LOST BATTALION) well, what they do is they roll up the flag and put a black sheath around it symbolizing that the unit is no longer in residence at their base camp...wow, that one got me REALLY GOOD...well, after the ceremony, the troops where let go to be with us the family....we were sooooo blessed because we got to be with james unitl 8pm!! :) very nice! well, where we were at, there was just the 4 of us and indi. then how we found each other, i will never know but first our sister-in-law INDI was there, then we saw our good friends JULIAN & SABRINA, then here comes TIO ZEKE, TIA CYNDI, KATIE, ANGIE, then INGLIS, TESSA, MARISSA, IAN, a friend, then MS TOLIVER & TERRI & then last but not least, SGT WANDER & HIS WIFE....there was 21 of our AWESOME family there. you can NEVER understand how WONDERFUL & AWESOME it was to see so many people there supporting james....i know that i was so TOUCHED and just so THANKFUL for them being there. all of them made the TIME and EFFORT to be there so early in the morning and make the trip from san antonio just to be there for james....words can't describe it. well, we were waiting for james and when he got there, he was CRYING and boy, it was soooo hard to see that. he was soooooo touched by his family & friends being there.....he told me he was very surprised and HONORED that they made it there.

we were able to all gather and talk to him and just hug and be hugged by james and it felt SOOOOOOOOO GOOD.....i got matthew out of his chair and he was holding both boys in in his arms and he was crying and just giving them kisses and it was just soooo beautiful and touching. a news crew came over and interviewed james and he was just crying and talking about how hard it was going to be leaving his family. (family in corpus christi saw the interview. we are still trying to see if we cand get a copy of it!!) well, afterwards, we walked over to the area where refreshments were given and it was REALLY NICE to be able to talk to james and the family. we stayed there for about an hour or so and just being surrounded by our family & friends was just the best. after we left, james, grandma, and my boys and i just hung out. we went to CABELLAS outdoors and just ate dinner there then we had to take him back to CAMP SWIFT. from there, we were AGAIN BLESSED because we got a treat and were able to take him home with us becuase he had his truck out there.

so, we had one more evening with him. we spent it at home enjoying eachother and he cried again because he tucked in the boys for the last time for a LONG TIME. the routine and all were so special to him...i can only IMAGINE what he must be feeling leaving him family, his boys behind.....not to have or take part in the nightime routine or EVERYDAY routine....my beautiful hubby....the next day, we had to drop him off at his unit by 11:30am and then he was off, back to CAMP SWIFT with his buddies. he actually LEFT for EL PASO (FT BLISS) at 1am this morning. he called me to let me know. wow, he is gone.....it is setting him that he is no longer here and won't be "coming home" soon or "around the corner". instead he is HUNDREDS of miles away but STILL IN TEXAS! that is a comfort. i just PRAY PRAY PRAY that they let him come home for the birth of JOSHUA MICHAEL. that would be such a BLESSING. we think it will be possible...i can't wait to schedule my C-SECTION so that he can let them know. i know that it will probably be an in and out kind of thing but to have him there would be a blessing....


anyway, so that was the ceremony. it has sank in that he will be gone for a couple of months. i COMFORT my self that i will GOD WILLING be able to see him AT LEAST in EL PASO before he leaves to IRAQ. they are suppose to get a 4 day pass but we have to go up there. i am DETERMINED to be there unless something MEDICALLY stops me! i can't WAIT TO SEE HIM AGAIN....it will be hard for the boys but i will do my BEST to keep them busy....

James is leaving on monday.....

hello everyone!

we hope everyone is doing GREAT!! as for us, well, the day is here when our wonderful,beautiful husband and father will be leaving for a year.....i had gone by too fast but we are THANKFUL we have spent all our time together with him...it has been WONDERFUL just sharing everyday life with him.....it has been great but bittersweet....i LOVED watching him with his boys and just seeing the love they had for each other...i am just soaking it in and just PRAYING that we will have MANY MANY MORE.....he leaves on MONDAY JUNE 4TH and there will be a FAREWELL CERAMONY on JUNE 10TH in AUSTIN, TX @ 9am (anyone interested in attending, just email me back for more info) and then he flys out JUNE 12th to FT BLISS, EL PASO for 3 months.....from there they are scheduled to leave for IRAQ....total time, GOD WILLING will only be a year. here is his email if anyone is interested james.a.gonzalez@us.army.mil and as soon as i get an address i will send that out too!! still don't know what he will be doing over there but i just PRAY PRAY PRAY it will be administration type stuff!! alex asks everyday when daddy leaves for work if THIS is the day that he will be gone for a "long time" and everyday, i have told him that no, not yet....he has his calendar with the days marked but he is really worried about that day....GOD WILLING they months will FLY BY and we will be able to fill his days as best he can with playdates and just doing things to keep his mind off daddy.....and GOD WILLING we will be able to chat with james via the internet while he is gone......i just PRAY as i do for all troops, that he comes home healthy & safe.....we still don't know if he will make it for the birth but we are prepared either way!!

well, onto matthew, matthew is doing GREAT!! wowowow, what a difference the 2nd surgery made! even after one day, he was doing BETTER than after the first surgery. he JUST started to eat again orally so that is a GREAT THING. he is asking for food and wanting to eat and also drinking water. another thing we have noticed is that he is A LOT more vocal! he is saying MAMA all the time now and will say other words too! still drooling like crazy but GOD WILLING that will slow down. i just pray he continues on with his oral eating!! also, he NEVER had to take ANY MORE TYLENOL after the 2nd surgery! what a change from doing it RELIGIOUSLY the first week to not doing it AT ALL after his 2nd!! you KNOW the 2nd surgery fixed things up! he is also doing GREAT with his little heart monitor. it HAS gone off a couple of times but i don't know WHY or what it saw but i have NOT heard back from the cardiologist so i just pray that all is well. he went to the pediatricians for his well toddler check up on thursday and he is doing REMARKABLE! his weight and height is now AVERAGE (his weight use to be in the 97%) he weighed in at 33 lbs 4 oz and height of 37" !!! he is just getting SOOOOO BIG! he is also trying to crawl the RIGHT WAY over his hands and off his butt! much better! he is as HAPPY as ever and just such a JOY! he loves to rub my tummy and give BABY G a kiss and love. he is too cute! i KNOW he will be a GREAT BIG BROTHER!

alex is doing well also doing really well. he is getting so big! he has been acting out a bit but who can blame him when he UNDERSTANDS that daddy will be gone for a long time. that is his HERO and for him not to be here.....he has told me he DOES NOT want to turn 5 and that he does not want a party. he gets really teary eye if i mention it. i think it stems from him know daddy won't be there....so i am going to sneak in a party for him around his birthday and just tell him that we are going to have some friends over etc and just have a nice playdate.....nothing fancy just a day for him. GOD WILLING he will love it. i feel so sad for him because daddy is his daddy....he tells me all the time that HE CAME OUT OF DADDY'S TUMMY!! hehehehee....he just loves that man sooooo....

well, as for me, i am doing GREAT!!! I am 26 wks along and sure do feel pg now. i love to feel the baby kicking and squirming around there. i am measuring right on time and all the FETAL ECHOs we have had on baby G have shown that so far, it looks like everything is in the right place heart wise!! what a RELIEF!!! baby is also measuring at 1 lb 8 oz!! and he is DEFINETLY A BOY!!! soooooo, james and i have FINALLY come up with a name....i chose the first name and james the second and it is a COMBINATION of all 4 of our names (our initials)....the J will be for james & james alex II and the M will be for Maria (me) and Matthew....ready for his name??? his name will be

JOSHUA MICHAEL GONZALEZ

JOSHUA means - GOD IS MY SALVATION (matthews middle names means the same thing!!)
MICHAEL means - WHO IS LIKE GOD?

so there you have it....BABY G now has an official name!!! we are so excited! we have been buying some stuff for the baby because the month before i found out i was pg (dec) i SOLD EVERYTHING in a YARD SALE!!! so there you go! we bought the baby his stroller & car seat, his high chair & swing...we have also bought this little one some clothing and such. i laugh now because i had BAGS of baby boy stuff (and it was ALL in good condition) and it went all away at the garage sale!! so we are starting FRESH!! i still have the bassinet, play pen and crib (matthew is still in it) and a couple of other small things but basically everything else went bye-bye!! oh well! this little one doesn't get the hand me downs from his brothers!! little stinker! james wanted to be around to buy the stuff so this past week we have been on a BUYING FRENZY!! i can't wait to get it all set up! but we are sooo excited and happy! GOD WILLING i will get a date soon for my c-section so that we can let james comander know so MAYBE (praying really hard here) they will let him come home for that (he will be ft bliss)....

everyone had been soooo supportive here at home and i am SOOOO THANKFUL to them ALL! i am just BLESSED to have so many family and friends near by that are wonderful! i do worry about things but i TRY to be just upbeat and excited about things for the boys.....during the summer, my niece will be staying with us every other week so that will be a BIG HELP and i know we will have playdates for alex to keep him occupied too! there are also the free movies twice a week that we will be doing....just things to keep the boys busy!!

well, that is all for now....i pray everyone is doing GREAT!! i will keep everyone updated on us and also on james. please feel free to email him......i know he will appreciate hearing from people!!

well, TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS!!!

love,
james, maria, alex, matthew & joshua michael!

update!!

hello family and friends!

we hope everyone is doing GREAT!!! :)

well, i will quickly move on to the recent update.........you ready for this?!?!?!?! well, it seems like all the PRAYERS said for our little miracle........WORKED!!! THANK YOU GOD and THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! yep, drs are AGAIN baffled because guess where we are RIGHT NOW? we are HOME!!!! and WITHOUT THE PACEMAKER!!!


ok, here is how it went down.....well, as you know, we had such a ROLLER COASTER ride this past almost 2 weeks with matthew having surgery on MONDAY 14th and then such complications this weekend....a visit to the ER on sunday, a REPEAT OR visit on monday 21 (his birthday) and then all these heart issues.....it has been TRULY a CRAZY ride!!! thru it all, we kept strong and we just PRAYED!! well, i can tell you this, after you see the attatched picture of his EKG strip and what that nurse saw, you will have NOT DOUBT of WHY they were in such a PANIC!! i will explain to you that when you look at the picture, the first strip is a pretty NORMAL strip, and then the strip in the middle is where you can see the LONG period of almost STRAIGHT LINE....THAT was the issue....they were such LONG pauses that if it was you or me, we would be passed out on the floor and probably had the PADDLES on you to shock your heart back to a normal rhythm!! the drs and nurses were FREAKING OUT!! because he kept doing it over and over again and matthew didn't even TWITCH!! they were asking me if he ever had any arrythmia problems and i said no, not that i know and they called in dr B and he was there BY CHANCE so late(i told him that it was NOT chance but that he was MENT to be there!!) and and he was ready to put a pacemaker in him THAT DAY!!! dr P his cardiologist talked him into to WAITING for a couple of days to see what happens and THANK YOU GOD THEY DID!! yesterday, matthew had a good day and just "dropped" a couple of beats but NOTHING as dramatic as monday....then today, when dr B came in the AM to see him....he said, "i don't know what to say to you....i am totally STUNNED and have not had this happened to me in my years of being a dr that a pt goes into COMPLETE AV HEART BLOCK and then just turns around and does soooooo well!!" he went on to say that usually it is a GIVEN that they WILL have a pacemaker because it just doesn't STOP!!! but THANK YOU GOD, matthew DID!!! he told me this morning that he was CANCELING the pacemaker surgery/heart cath because he said there was NO REASON to do it at this time!!! WOWOWOWOWOWOW...THANK YOU GOD! he just couldn't believe that he was not needing one....he said that monday he needed the pacemaker YESTERDAY and ASAP but today he could SAFETLY say that nope, this kid did NOT NEED ONE!! isn't that AMAZING!!!??? we went from, HE NEEDS ONE RIGHT THIS MINUTE....to NOPE, HE DOES NOT NEED ONE!!! what a ride! his cardiologist said that he had never seen a pt go from a normal rhythm to a (here is the medical term) MOBITZ TYPE 2 COMPLETE HEART BLOCK just like that!! he kept saying it was just BIZZARRE and scary!! he did say that this was MATTHEW soooo, you just NEVER know what he will do!! :) well, DR B gave us 2 options and that they could either implate a device the size of a "thumb drive" in him that didn't connect to anything but would monitor his heart rhythyms and then they could see if it would do it again OR we could do the non-invasive type and he wear a monitor for at LEAST a month or 2 and that would record any episodes or anything and then we could see what he does.....i went for the NON-INVASIVE approached in a heartbeat! so we should be getting it sometimes this week and we will monitor him for at LEAST a month....GOD WILLING it will not show anything but at LEAST we will have SOME peace of mind that it is not happening....we are to also push a button to mark when he has a seizure (which he THOUGHT might have been happening (since he has done so well in the EKG department)) and also when he drops his heartrate like he does sometimes....this should be INTERESTING!!! anyway, i am SOOOO HAPPY that my beautiful baby BOY did NOT need to have SURGERY and the PACEMAKER!!! THANK YOU GOD!!! i can't even TELL you what an emotional ride it has been.....BABY G must be FREAKING out right about now!! :) anyway, so i am so happy to say that we are HOME HOME HOME!!! we will DEFINETLY watch him very closely and they told us to make sure we metion that event if there is ever a time he has to have a procdure with anesthisia.......

i will have to send out my ORIGINAL letter for his birthday someday soon after we get settled....it would have pics and everything!! but i have to get back in the groove of things and get james ready to deploy....it will definetly be a couple of days worth of STRESS!! and news on that front is that we get an EXTRA WEEK of james!!! :) he offically leaves JUNE4TH!!! so we are happy about that!!!

i so want to thank EVERYONE for their thoughts and prayers for our little miracle man matthew....he proved YET AGAIN, that thru the power of prayer, "ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THRU GOD" matthew 19:26 we are just soooooo blessed to have ya'll in our lives following our little miracle along his way.....THANK YOU!!

well, on a side note, matthew is also doing WONDERFUL after his latest OR visit....where before he was on ROUND THE CLOCK tylenol w/codien meds, he has NOT had any in almost 24 hours and you would NEVER KNOW IT!! he is soooo much better, THANK YOU GOD! he looks great and is happy to be back home!

well, i will attatch a couple of pics of matthew ON HIS BIRTHDAY...if you can't view them for some reason, i will be sending out another email soon with more pics and a better way of viewing them....again, THANK YOU from our hearts for all the thoughts and prayers for matthew....THANK YOU GOD THEY WORKED AND HE HEARD!!!

take care and GOD BLESS...

happy to be home,
the gonzalez family

maria, james, alex, matthew, & baby G (IT'S A BOY!!)
ON HIS BIRTHDAY...RIGHT AFTER SURGERY..


GETTING READY TO LEAVE FOR CHRISTUS SANTA ROSA HOSPITAL VIA AMBULANCE...


AT CHRISTUS SANTA ROSA HOSPITAL IN PICU...


THE STRIP THAT CAUSED THE RUCKUS....

URGENT PRAYERS....MATTHEW IN HOSP...

hello everyone,

i hope everyone is doing GREAT!! well, monday was matthews 3RD BIRTHDAY and we sure had a WHOLE bunch of surprises to deal with.....i have to make this short but i wanted to ask for MANY URGENT PRAYERS....

matthew had his tonsils out on monday 14th...he did fine but started to have complications on friday and the weekend....he started to have pink tinge saliva and just not feeling great AT ALL....so we took him in to the ER on sunday to get checked out....they looked down his throat and cleared him from his surgery saying it looked fine but he was really congested so we were given oral steroids and increased neb treatment....

well, on monday morning (HIS BIRTHDAY), he coughed up a BIG wad of blood and we had to take him in to see his ENT on a walk in basis....well, they at first said that it all looked good and they thought that maybe it would just a take a bit longer...they could tell i was not comfy with that at all so they asked me if they could scope him and i said YES....well, when they did, they saw that there WAS alot of bleeding way in the back so they tried to do SILVER NITRATE and burn it that way but could not do it so within 45 mins of us walking in, he was being wheeled into the OR on an emergency basis!!!! YEP, on his birthday again!! so, surgery went great and i was SOOOO HAPPY cause you could already see that he FELT better (not much secretions etc) well, about 4-5 hours later, the nurse runs in and says, WHAT WAS THAT? is he ok? i told her YES, HE IS ASLEEP, well, she was really concerned because he had an irregular heart rate and was doing some WIERD things...called in all the drs and they called in a ELECTRO SPECIALIST to see his strip and what he was doing.....HE WAS IN AV HEART BLOCK!!!!! so, we were transfered EMERGENT to SANTA ROSA HOSPITAL PICU and they are talking PACEMAKER TOMORROW!!!!!!! i am still in SHOCK that all this is happening....he had an ECHO done a couple of minutes ago, and once they look at it, they will decided if they need to do a ANGIO CT on him...they are trying to find out if his VIENS are big enough to support the pacing wires and not occlude them....if it LOOKS good, then we will be going for a HEART CATH tomorrow and they will be placing they PACEMAKER that way.....worst case senerio, if the viens look too narrow and small, THEY WILL HAVE TO DO OPEN HEART SURGERY AGAIN!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, pray that this is not the case and if they HAVE to do the pacemaker (which according to the specialist WILL happen) that it can be done intravenously!!!

james is just beside himself because he will be leaving at the end of THIS MONTH for iraq...yep, if you haven't read my blog, he WILL BE DEPLOYED FOR A YEAR and he leaves us MAY 29TH......of course we were preparing to deal with all the "normal" stuff and now with this......PLEASE LORD GIVE US STRENGTH!!!

anyway, i must run.....i hope to update ya'll as soon as i can....it has been REALLY hectic around here and alex is staying with grandma during the day and james HAS to work due to all the stuff they are doing for deployement.....

if you can say some prayers for MATTHEW i would GREATLY appreciate it!!! poor little guy had a HORRIBLE birthday!!! but I JUST PRAY THAT HE DOES WELL from here on out!!!

sorry to run but WITH MUCH LOVE,

james, maria, alex, matthew & baby g (IT'S A BOY!!!)

well, it is official!!

we are officially having ANOTHER BABY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowowowow, we are SOOOOO HAPPY AND EXCITED!!! wow, to imagine THREE BOYS in my house, GOD WILLING! what a beautiful thought! of course i had a dream that this one would be a GIRL but hey, i guess it was WRONG!! BUT i am soooo happy! i actually at one time thought i would PERFER a little boy because i know what to DO with little boys! but as long as the baby is HEALTHY is all that matters to me!

well, onto other news.....it is another offical thing. james WILL BE DEPLOYED this time around, at this time....he leaves on JUNE 8TH for 3 months of training in FT DICK NEW JERSEY and then he gets 2 weeks off (unfortuanatly he will NOT be able to come home and we actually have to go over there....i don't think we could do that because i will have JUST had the baby....) and then they will be deployed from there overseas......and yes, he will NOT be home for the arrival of this little guy. he is VERY sad about this....we have not told our boys the news yet but we will this weekend or at least start trying to. there is so much to do BEFORE he leaves. we have this month of may and then he is off. there is still a SLIM CHANCE that they will keep him back for the rear detatchment, so all we do is PRAY PRAY PRAY that it is GOD'S WILL that he stay home with us. we can do no more. he put his paperwork for his DEFFERMENT for the deployment due to medical reasons but if he had continued with that path, they got the news that they would then ask for a date for DISCHARGE....so, we stopped that process. we DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE MILITARY...so, he will do his duty, whether it is here with us or overseas....i am SOOOOOOO PROUD OF HIM....he is MY HERO and has been from the FIRST day i met him. i feel soooo sad for my boys...they will DEFIENTLY miss him and ALEX will be devestated with not having daddy home. if he is gone for say 5 days, EVERYDAY, at least 10+ times a day he will ask if daddy is coming home today. we even have the calendar with the date circle on when he comes home and he will still ask. he LOVES HIS DADDY SOOO... anyway, we are just preparing and getting all the baby stuff ready before he leaves on june 8th. we will put up the bassinet and buy the clothes and get the stuff we need for baby g....

and then there is matthew. we went to the ENT dr today and matthew will be having surgery on 5/14/07 for a tonsilectomy!!! that is just a bit over a week away!! hard to believe. my poor baby....and it will NOT be at methodist so that makes me nervous about the whole thing!!! but i will trust in GOD and just pray that my baby does well. he will have to spend AT LEAST a day in PICU....i wanted to do it before james left....

anyway, it has been a bit crazy but we decided to have a little party for matthew actually on the 12th of may for his 3RD BIRTHDAY!! nothing big, just here at my home....we were not even sure we would HAVE a party...i am excited and sad because alex will not have daddy at HIS party.....anyway, we are just taking it one day at atime......

any prayers would be appreciated....