well, this weekend was interesting....

we had a nice quiet weekend.....it was REALLY NICE to relax and not worry about who was coming or where we were going....there was just one thing we needed to do and that was go to a b-day party for matthew's little friend and that was on sat...that was really nice.! we had a GREAT TIME. but other than that, it was just relaxing. now more than ever, this PG has been wearing me out!! it has been really hard to sleep. my FIBRO has been REALLY acting up....i am SOOOOOO EXHAUSTED and just really weary....my back is KILLING me and so is my siatic nerve....it is just so painful. and having to carry matthew up and down the stairs is getting really hard. but i keep doing it. my dr said that up to 40 lbs is ok....matthew is 33lbs but he is SOLID!!

WELL, matthew had his FIRST aquatic PT thereapy on friday! it was sooooo cute to watch him in the pool! he was SOOO TIRED before we got there. he was ready to go to sleep and was really fussy, then we got him in the pool and BAMM, just like that he was having a BLAST! it was sooooa wesome to see him. his PT was really impressed because he went right to work and was sooooo social (this was only the 2nd time she saw him!) and there he was in the pool with her and doing everything from kicking and swiming to walking up the ramp etc. you would nevere know that he had just been fussy and trying to fall asleep on us! then OT decided to get in and do their therapy in the pool too so ended up being in there for 1 1/2 hours!!! can you believe that? and then of course we CRASHED as soon as we got home! i wish i could have got some pics of him but there was another pt there in the pool. maybe this week?!?!?!

this sun he had another sz...it lasted about 3 mins and it was facial. it always scares me when he has one and i am by myself. what do i do with alex? that is such a delima if i have to got by EMS because i can't take alex with me!!! sooooo, i haven't figured that out yet and I PRAY TO GOD i never have to find out!! i just keep praying to GOD that he does not have any more szs!!

well, alex is doing sooooo good! i am so proud of him! he is such a good brother and son. i couldn't ask for anything BETTER! i just gaze at him and love him love him LOVE HIM!!! he is such a CUTIE!!! he loves his playdates with his cuz and he LOVES running around and getting into EVERYTHING!! he is REALLY MISSING DADDY though.....i am so sad that he does NOT want to turn 5 and does NOT want to have a party!!! and he gets REALLY UPSET if i bring it up! so what we are going to do is have a "playdate" the tue before his birthday and just invite his little buddies and then just have a 'casual' party without him knowing it. and if anyone gets a gift, i will take it and put it away until his actual birthday....

matthew is doing well. he is getting SOOOOOO BIG and just developing and growing. he is really loving standing and walking. he is also learning his shapes and sorting etc. we are REALLY working on words and shapes etc. he is also wanting to play with other kids. it is SOOOO CUTE!! AND AND AND we got the BEST NEWS in the world today.....the specialist called to say that HE DOES NOT NEED A PACEMAKER! YYYIIIPPPPEEEE THANK YOU GOD! he said we just have to be careful if ever he goes under anesthia and he had NO IDEA what happen with that heart block! so, although the month of his monitoring didn't turn up anything, he wasR EALLY SURPRISED BECAUSE OF THIS! but he was HAPPY that he did NOT need one! he said maybe in about 10 -15 years but right now....NOPE!!! THANK YOU GOD!

well, james is doing well. he has been gone for almost a MONTH!! hard to believe. he has started his training now so he is REALLY BUSY doing his training. he tries HARD not miss anything because he does NOT want to be nondeployable. if they miss training, they will be held back. now, that would be GREAT but but but, that would JUST mean that he would have to go with ANOTHER UNIT (who's duties might be house to house or something) instead of his unit!! sooooo, we SOOOOO WANT HIM NOT TO MISS ANYTHING!! i want him to deploy with his unit as he does because he KNOWS them and also the duty they are doing. he had to go to the ER on sat becaus he had a reaction to the small pox vaccine that he got along with all his other shots last weekend. he is now on antibiotics and benadryl. he was upset because they made him miss his hand to hand combat training. they are starting all of that....i just PRAY that he does well and that all GOES WELL!!

anyhway, it has been interesting. july will be a VERY BUSY MONTH for us, with more than 6 drs appts PLUS his 4 therapies a week we drive to.....it will be ok!

therapy

hola! matthew just started some new REHAB therapy at a PLACE! they have been coming to our home since he came home from the hospital at 98 days old! we thought we would try going somewhere to GET therapy and so far so good! we will even do AQUATIC therapy too!! that is sooooooooooo exciting because he LOVES the water! i am soooo excited! and here is some video of him....

this video is of his FIRST tricycle ride at the new rehab place! he did GREAT!

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just another video!! i am soooo proud of him!

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anyway, the boys are doing GREAT!!! i am soooo proud of them....we did have a bit of a mishap on tuesday....my beautiful alex gave matthew a BLACK EYE!!! and oooohhhh boy, he got in TROUBLE! he is actually still in a bit of trouble from it. he basically poked matthew with a toy and caused him to CRY and to get a bruising on him eye lid and underneath....i felt SOOOO BAD for matthew and i was SOOOO MAD at alex!!! i cried right along matthew!!!! james just HAPPENED to be on the phone when it happen and he was soooo upset too! anyway, that was DEFINETLY something i will never forget!!

alex is having the hard time with james being gone....he tells me ALL THE TIME that he misses his daddy...sometimes he says he is MAD at him because he has to work away for A LONG TIME....i always sit down with him and remind him that daddy is working REALLY HARD and that he doesn't WANT to be away but he HAS to.....then he goes off and plays. we give LOTS of kisses from daddy and we just always say how much we LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM!!

well, we did a bit of going to the park today after haircuts and they had a REALLY GOOD TIME....here are a couple of pics of my boys...

matthew had THREE SIEZURES!!

yep, it has been a bit over a MONTH since his last siezure but today, WHILE I WAS AWAY AT MY DRS APPT, he had THREE over 5 min seizures while taking his nap! i felt sooooo helpless being at a drs appt while my baby was having his sz! he has a GREAT nurse that called me as soon as he started having them and i was able to talk to matthew the WHOLE TIME he had his 3 sz! i was REALLY certain that we were headed to the ER because with each sz, he just seemed to get more unresponsive....i think he missed me! we had left the house by 7:45a and we got back at 12:00 and his nurse told us that the WHOLE time he was calling for ME!! AWWWWW.....soooo, we got back and he gave me this BIG sleepy smile and started to talk and rub my tummy....my poor baby....i felt sooooo bad for him....i just got off the phone with his neurologist and he said that he thinks he is CLUSTERING (one BIG sz spread out) so we will have to give him DIASTAT after 3 mins no matter what now....wowowowow....i usually don't give it to him unless he is unresponsive for more than 3 mins....sooooo.......i just PRAY that it was FLUKE and maybe he was just tired?! GOD WILLING that is all. the drs said that something is coming up and THAT is why he had it (if you remember, everytime there is a SPECIAL event, he has sz (birthdays, holidays, vacations, etc) and he said 4TH OF JULY was coming up!!! YIKES!

anyway, james is doing fine. missing his family like we are missing HIM!!! he is soooo sad and upset that matthew had these sz. he was really worried about him. and he JUST found out that they leave SEPT 1, 2007!!!!! that is like 2 WEEKS earlier than we thought!!!!!!! SOOOOO, what does that mean for birth? i don't know. i am going to TRY to schedule it around 8/28 or so.....don't know how it will all come about. GOD WILLING it will be ok!! i am getting excited!

alex is REALLY ACTING OUT now. he is getting into soooo much trouble! he is really testing me! i just PRAY that he comes around. i know it is a BIG adjustment daddy not being here and all though he has been gone for 2 weeks before, it is DIFFERENT now because there is no DAY when he is coming back! usually i can put on the calendar, DADDY IS COMING BACK ON THIS DAY....now i can't....sooo, that is kinda bad. sooooo, i would HOPE that i get a date for him......

anyway, i am doing GREAT...baby G is doing really GOOD....very active and missing his daddy. i have gained my FIRST 2 LBS!! :) YAYAYAYAYAY.....i am soooo proud of myself for not having gained ANYTHING for the first 7 months of pg!! :) i had enough on me that i was NOT CONCERNED!!! soooo, everything went well....gestational test was great and i got my shot of rhogam (i am A-)....

anyway, we are doing well, and we have survived 2 weeks without dad. it has been REALLY nice to have been able to talk to him EVERYDAY!! THANK GOD! :)

well, we will be around.....just PRAY he does NOT have a sz.....

here is the video of JAMES from NBC...

VIDEO

i was SOOOO HAPPY to that my SIL found the video!! it shows james and our boys...and james is just CRYING.....please enjoy....

well, james left to EL PASO....

let me start by saying that i am sorry i have not been blogging as i have wanted to. it has been a VERY VERY VERY busy month now with james getting ready for deployement, matthews birthday, surgery & repeat surgery with hospital stay and scare of pacemaker....but i am now back!!

i will give a quick recap of what went on this weekend. this weekend was james FAREWELL CEREMONY at CAMP MABRY in austin texas and his unit is 2ND BATTALION, 131ST FIELD ARTILLERY. it was VERY EMOTIONAL. james has been gone since MONDAY 6/4 and we were SOOOO EXCITED that we were going to get to see him again!! well, my 2 boys, grandma and i left on SAT so that we could make sure we would get there on time for sundays ceremony. we spent the night there in austin at an EXTENDED STAY of america and it was REALLY NICE. anyway, we got up REALLY early because james wanted us to be there by 7am because there was suppose to be TONS of relatives there to watch. so we got there by 7:15am and thank GOD we did! we got GREAT PARKING and also front row for matthews wheelchair! it was REALLY NICE! the day was REALLY not too hot but it was really muggy and THANK GOD the sun was not officially up (until right before the ceremony started). well, as we pulled in, James saw us and called me on my phone. he was WAY OVER across the field in front of the buses. you could just see him waving at us! we were just sooo happy to be soooo close! so, we sat there at the bleachers waiting, we could see the troops marching in formation practicing for the upcoming ceremony. it made it soooo real. how can i explain the pride i felt or the emotions i was feeling seeing my husband WAY over there preparing to go to war? knowing that he will be away from us for a LONG TIME? knowing he will be missing so a YEAR of our life together and a YEAR of my kids life too? it was pretty emotional and all i can do is smile and wave at him so far way across a FIELD and soon to be a across the WORLD! i missed him ALREADY and he was right there across the field from me....anyway, as they got into formation there was FOUR group of soldiers...the band, then james group (smaller than the other) which was HEADQUATERS, and then alpha & bravo group which was REALLY LARGE (over 150 in each unit). they marched on field and i was SOOO PROUD.

i found out later after talking to james that when he started marching onto the field, he said that he looked at us and he just LOST IT. he told me, "babe, my eyes were not just tearing up, the tears were running down my face and snot and everything...lip quivering etc" he said that thru the whole ceremony, he would be ok until he saw us and then he would start to cry all over again (and he had a birdseye view of us). he got all of his buddies crying too!! my beautiful family man of a hubby...he will be MISSING his family sooooo much...i know that WE will be missing HIM BEYOND anything. so the ceremony continued with TONS of speakers etc....it was PRETTY EMOTIONAL ESPECIALLY when they retired the battalions flag. their flag has all these tassles that had all the wars they had been involved in or all the deployments they had been on since the unit was formed 1916 (THEY WERE CALLED THE LOST BATTALION) well, what they do is they roll up the flag and put a black sheath around it symbolizing that the unit is no longer in residence at their base camp...wow, that one got me REALLY GOOD...well, after the ceremony, the troops where let go to be with us the family....we were sooooo blessed because we got to be with james unitl 8pm!! :) very nice! well, where we were at, there was just the 4 of us and indi. then how we found each other, i will never know but first our sister-in-law INDI was there, then we saw our good friends JULIAN & SABRINA, then here comes TIO ZEKE, TIA CYNDI, KATIE, ANGIE, then INGLIS, TESSA, MARISSA, IAN, a friend, then MS TOLIVER & TERRI & then last but not least, SGT WANDER & HIS WIFE....there was 21 of our AWESOME family there. you can NEVER understand how WONDERFUL & AWESOME it was to see so many people there supporting james....i know that i was so TOUCHED and just so THANKFUL for them being there. all of them made the TIME and EFFORT to be there so early in the morning and make the trip from san antonio just to be there for james....words can't describe it. well, we were waiting for james and when he got there, he was CRYING and boy, it was soooo hard to see that. he was soooooo touched by his family & friends being there.....he told me he was very surprised and HONORED that they made it there.

we were able to all gather and talk to him and just hug and be hugged by james and it felt SOOOOOOOOO GOOD.....i got matthew out of his chair and he was holding both boys in in his arms and he was crying and just giving them kisses and it was just soooo beautiful and touching. a news crew came over and interviewed james and he was just crying and talking about how hard it was going to be leaving his family. (family in corpus christi saw the interview. we are still trying to see if we cand get a copy of it!!) well, afterwards, we walked over to the area where refreshments were given and it was REALLY NICE to be able to talk to james and the family. we stayed there for about an hour or so and just being surrounded by our family & friends was just the best. after we left, james, grandma, and my boys and i just hung out. we went to CABELLAS outdoors and just ate dinner there then we had to take him back to CAMP SWIFT. from there, we were AGAIN BLESSED because we got a treat and were able to take him home with us becuase he had his truck out there.

so, we had one more evening with him. we spent it at home enjoying eachother and he cried again because he tucked in the boys for the last time for a LONG TIME. the routine and all were so special to him...i can only IMAGINE what he must be feeling leaving him family, his boys behind.....not to have or take part in the nightime routine or EVERYDAY routine....my beautiful hubby....the next day, we had to drop him off at his unit by 11:30am and then he was off, back to CAMP SWIFT with his buddies. he actually LEFT for EL PASO (FT BLISS) at 1am this morning. he called me to let me know. wow, he is gone.....it is setting him that he is no longer here and won't be "coming home" soon or "around the corner". instead he is HUNDREDS of miles away but STILL IN TEXAS! that is a comfort. i just PRAY PRAY PRAY that they let him come home for the birth of JOSHUA MICHAEL. that would be such a BLESSING. we think it will be possible...i can't wait to schedule my C-SECTION so that he can let them know. i know that it will probably be an in and out kind of thing but to have him there would be a blessing....


anyway, so that was the ceremony. it has sank in that he will be gone for a couple of months. i COMFORT my self that i will GOD WILLING be able to see him AT LEAST in EL PASO before he leaves to IRAQ. they are suppose to get a 4 day pass but we have to go up there. i am DETERMINED to be there unless something MEDICALLY stops me! i can't WAIT TO SEE HIM AGAIN....it will be hard for the boys but i will do my BEST to keep them busy....

James is leaving on monday.....

hello everyone!

we hope everyone is doing GREAT!! as for us, well, the day is here when our wonderful,beautiful husband and father will be leaving for a year.....i had gone by too fast but we are THANKFUL we have spent all our time together with him...it has been WONDERFUL just sharing everyday life with him.....it has been great but bittersweet....i LOVED watching him with his boys and just seeing the love they had for each other...i am just soaking it in and just PRAYING that we will have MANY MANY MORE.....he leaves on MONDAY JUNE 4TH and there will be a FAREWELL CERAMONY on JUNE 10TH in AUSTIN, TX @ 9am (anyone interested in attending, just email me back for more info) and then he flys out JUNE 12th to FT BLISS, EL PASO for 3 months.....from there they are scheduled to leave for IRAQ....total time, GOD WILLING will only be a year. here is his email if anyone is interested james.a.gonzalez@us.army.mil and as soon as i get an address i will send that out too!! still don't know what he will be doing over there but i just PRAY PRAY PRAY it will be administration type stuff!! alex asks everyday when daddy leaves for work if THIS is the day that he will be gone for a "long time" and everyday, i have told him that no, not yet....he has his calendar with the days marked but he is really worried about that day....GOD WILLING they months will FLY BY and we will be able to fill his days as best he can with playdates and just doing things to keep his mind off daddy.....and GOD WILLING we will be able to chat with james via the internet while he is gone......i just PRAY as i do for all troops, that he comes home healthy & safe.....we still don't know if he will make it for the birth but we are prepared either way!!

well, onto matthew, matthew is doing GREAT!! wowowow, what a difference the 2nd surgery made! even after one day, he was doing BETTER than after the first surgery. he JUST started to eat again orally so that is a GREAT THING. he is asking for food and wanting to eat and also drinking water. another thing we have noticed is that he is A LOT more vocal! he is saying MAMA all the time now and will say other words too! still drooling like crazy but GOD WILLING that will slow down. i just pray he continues on with his oral eating!! also, he NEVER had to take ANY MORE TYLENOL after the 2nd surgery! what a change from doing it RELIGIOUSLY the first week to not doing it AT ALL after his 2nd!! you KNOW the 2nd surgery fixed things up! he is also doing GREAT with his little heart monitor. it HAS gone off a couple of times but i don't know WHY or what it saw but i have NOT heard back from the cardiologist so i just pray that all is well. he went to the pediatricians for his well toddler check up on thursday and he is doing REMARKABLE! his weight and height is now AVERAGE (his weight use to be in the 97%) he weighed in at 33 lbs 4 oz and height of 37" !!! he is just getting SOOOOO BIG! he is also trying to crawl the RIGHT WAY over his hands and off his butt! much better! he is as HAPPY as ever and just such a JOY! he loves to rub my tummy and give BABY G a kiss and love. he is too cute! i KNOW he will be a GREAT BIG BROTHER!

alex is doing well also doing really well. he is getting so big! he has been acting out a bit but who can blame him when he UNDERSTANDS that daddy will be gone for a long time. that is his HERO and for him not to be here.....he has told me he DOES NOT want to turn 5 and that he does not want a party. he gets really teary eye if i mention it. i think it stems from him know daddy won't be there....so i am going to sneak in a party for him around his birthday and just tell him that we are going to have some friends over etc and just have a nice playdate.....nothing fancy just a day for him. GOD WILLING he will love it. i feel so sad for him because daddy is his daddy....he tells me all the time that HE CAME OUT OF DADDY'S TUMMY!! hehehehee....he just loves that man sooooo....

well, as for me, i am doing GREAT!!! I am 26 wks along and sure do feel pg now. i love to feel the baby kicking and squirming around there. i am measuring right on time and all the FETAL ECHOs we have had on baby G have shown that so far, it looks like everything is in the right place heart wise!! what a RELIEF!!! baby is also measuring at 1 lb 8 oz!! and he is DEFINETLY A BOY!!! soooooo, james and i have FINALLY come up with a name....i chose the first name and james the second and it is a COMBINATION of all 4 of our names (our initials)....the J will be for james & james alex II and the M will be for Maria (me) and Matthew....ready for his name??? his name will be

JOSHUA MICHAEL GONZALEZ

JOSHUA means - GOD IS MY SALVATION (matthews middle names means the same thing!!)
MICHAEL means - WHO IS LIKE GOD?

so there you have it....BABY G now has an official name!!! we are so excited! we have been buying some stuff for the baby because the month before i found out i was pg (dec) i SOLD EVERYTHING in a YARD SALE!!! so there you go! we bought the baby his stroller & car seat, his high chair & swing...we have also bought this little one some clothing and such. i laugh now because i had BAGS of baby boy stuff (and it was ALL in good condition) and it went all away at the garage sale!! so we are starting FRESH!! i still have the bassinet, play pen and crib (matthew is still in it) and a couple of other small things but basically everything else went bye-bye!! oh well! this little one doesn't get the hand me downs from his brothers!! little stinker! james wanted to be around to buy the stuff so this past week we have been on a BUYING FRENZY!! i can't wait to get it all set up! but we are sooo excited and happy! GOD WILLING i will get a date soon for my c-section so that we can let james comander know so MAYBE (praying really hard here) they will let him come home for that (he will be ft bliss)....

everyone had been soooo supportive here at home and i am SOOOO THANKFUL to them ALL! i am just BLESSED to have so many family and friends near by that are wonderful! i do worry about things but i TRY to be just upbeat and excited about things for the boys.....during the summer, my niece will be staying with us every other week so that will be a BIG HELP and i know we will have playdates for alex to keep him occupied too! there are also the free movies twice a week that we will be doing....just things to keep the boys busy!!

well, that is all for now....i pray everyone is doing GREAT!! i will keep everyone updated on us and also on james. please feel free to email him......i know he will appreciate hearing from people!!

well, TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS!!!

love,
james, maria, alex, matthew & joshua michael!

update!!

hello family and friends!

we hope everyone is doing GREAT!!! :)

well, i will quickly move on to the recent update.........you ready for this?!?!?!?! well, it seems like all the PRAYERS said for our little miracle........WORKED!!! THANK YOU GOD and THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! yep, drs are AGAIN baffled because guess where we are RIGHT NOW? we are HOME!!!! and WITHOUT THE PACEMAKER!!!


ok, here is how it went down.....well, as you know, we had such a ROLLER COASTER ride this past almost 2 weeks with matthew having surgery on MONDAY 14th and then such complications this weekend....a visit to the ER on sunday, a REPEAT OR visit on monday 21 (his birthday) and then all these heart issues.....it has been TRULY a CRAZY ride!!! thru it all, we kept strong and we just PRAYED!! well, i can tell you this, after you see the attatched picture of his EKG strip and what that nurse saw, you will have NOT DOUBT of WHY they were in such a PANIC!! i will explain to you that when you look at the picture, the first strip is a pretty NORMAL strip, and then the strip in the middle is where you can see the LONG period of almost STRAIGHT LINE....THAT was the issue....they were such LONG pauses that if it was you or me, we would be passed out on the floor and probably had the PADDLES on you to shock your heart back to a normal rhythm!! the drs and nurses were FREAKING OUT!! because he kept doing it over and over again and matthew didn't even TWITCH!! they were asking me if he ever had any arrythmia problems and i said no, not that i know and they called in dr B and he was there BY CHANCE so late(i told him that it was NOT chance but that he was MENT to be there!!) and and he was ready to put a pacemaker in him THAT DAY!!! dr P his cardiologist talked him into to WAITING for a couple of days to see what happens and THANK YOU GOD THEY DID!! yesterday, matthew had a good day and just "dropped" a couple of beats but NOTHING as dramatic as monday....then today, when dr B came in the AM to see him....he said, "i don't know what to say to you....i am totally STUNNED and have not had this happened to me in my years of being a dr that a pt goes into COMPLETE AV HEART BLOCK and then just turns around and does soooooo well!!" he went on to say that usually it is a GIVEN that they WILL have a pacemaker because it just doesn't STOP!!! but THANK YOU GOD, matthew DID!!! he told me this morning that he was CANCELING the pacemaker surgery/heart cath because he said there was NO REASON to do it at this time!!! WOWOWOWOWOWOW...THANK YOU GOD! he just couldn't believe that he was not needing one....he said that monday he needed the pacemaker YESTERDAY and ASAP but today he could SAFETLY say that nope, this kid did NOT NEED ONE!! isn't that AMAZING!!!??? we went from, HE NEEDS ONE RIGHT THIS MINUTE....to NOPE, HE DOES NOT NEED ONE!!! what a ride! his cardiologist said that he had never seen a pt go from a normal rhythm to a (here is the medical term) MOBITZ TYPE 2 COMPLETE HEART BLOCK just like that!! he kept saying it was just BIZZARRE and scary!! he did say that this was MATTHEW soooo, you just NEVER know what he will do!! :) well, DR B gave us 2 options and that they could either implate a device the size of a "thumb drive" in him that didn't connect to anything but would monitor his heart rhythyms and then they could see if it would do it again OR we could do the non-invasive type and he wear a monitor for at LEAST a month or 2 and that would record any episodes or anything and then we could see what he does.....i went for the NON-INVASIVE approached in a heartbeat! so we should be getting it sometimes this week and we will monitor him for at LEAST a month....GOD WILLING it will not show anything but at LEAST we will have SOME peace of mind that it is not happening....we are to also push a button to mark when he has a seizure (which he THOUGHT might have been happening (since he has done so well in the EKG department)) and also when he drops his heartrate like he does sometimes....this should be INTERESTING!!! anyway, i am SOOOO HAPPY that my beautiful baby BOY did NOT need to have SURGERY and the PACEMAKER!!! THANK YOU GOD!!! i can't even TELL you what an emotional ride it has been.....BABY G must be FREAKING out right about now!! :) anyway, so i am so happy to say that we are HOME HOME HOME!!! we will DEFINETLY watch him very closely and they told us to make sure we metion that event if there is ever a time he has to have a procdure with anesthisia.......

i will have to send out my ORIGINAL letter for his birthday someday soon after we get settled....it would have pics and everything!! but i have to get back in the groove of things and get james ready to deploy....it will definetly be a couple of days worth of STRESS!! and news on that front is that we get an EXTRA WEEK of james!!! :) he offically leaves JUNE4TH!!! so we are happy about that!!!

i so want to thank EVERYONE for their thoughts and prayers for our little miracle man matthew....he proved YET AGAIN, that thru the power of prayer, "ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THRU GOD" matthew 19:26 we are just soooooo blessed to have ya'll in our lives following our little miracle along his way.....THANK YOU!!

well, on a side note, matthew is also doing WONDERFUL after his latest OR visit....where before he was on ROUND THE CLOCK tylenol w/codien meds, he has NOT had any in almost 24 hours and you would NEVER KNOW IT!! he is soooo much better, THANK YOU GOD! he looks great and is happy to be back home!

well, i will attatch a couple of pics of matthew ON HIS BIRTHDAY...if you can't view them for some reason, i will be sending out another email soon with more pics and a better way of viewing them....again, THANK YOU from our hearts for all the thoughts and prayers for matthew....THANK YOU GOD THEY WORKED AND HE HEARD!!!

take care and GOD BLESS...

happy to be home,
the gonzalez family

maria, james, alex, matthew, & baby G (IT'S A BOY!!)
ON HIS BIRTHDAY...RIGHT AFTER SURGERY..


GETTING READY TO LEAVE FOR CHRISTUS SANTA ROSA HOSPITAL VIA AMBULANCE...


AT CHRISTUS SANTA ROSA HOSPITAL IN PICU...


THE STRIP THAT CAUSED THE RUCKUS....

URGENT PRAYERS....MATTHEW IN HOSP...

hello everyone,

i hope everyone is doing GREAT!! well, monday was matthews 3RD BIRTHDAY and we sure had a WHOLE bunch of surprises to deal with.....i have to make this short but i wanted to ask for MANY URGENT PRAYERS....

matthew had his tonsils out on monday 14th...he did fine but started to have complications on friday and the weekend....he started to have pink tinge saliva and just not feeling great AT ALL....so we took him in to the ER on sunday to get checked out....they looked down his throat and cleared him from his surgery saying it looked fine but he was really congested so we were given oral steroids and increased neb treatment....

well, on monday morning (HIS BIRTHDAY), he coughed up a BIG wad of blood and we had to take him in to see his ENT on a walk in basis....well, they at first said that it all looked good and they thought that maybe it would just a take a bit longer...they could tell i was not comfy with that at all so they asked me if they could scope him and i said YES....well, when they did, they saw that there WAS alot of bleeding way in the back so they tried to do SILVER NITRATE and burn it that way but could not do it so within 45 mins of us walking in, he was being wheeled into the OR on an emergency basis!!!! YEP, on his birthday again!! so, surgery went great and i was SOOOO HAPPY cause you could already see that he FELT better (not much secretions etc) well, about 4-5 hours later, the nurse runs in and says, WHAT WAS THAT? is he ok? i told her YES, HE IS ASLEEP, well, she was really concerned because he had an irregular heart rate and was doing some WIERD things...called in all the drs and they called in a ELECTRO SPECIALIST to see his strip and what he was doing.....HE WAS IN AV HEART BLOCK!!!!! so, we were transfered EMERGENT to SANTA ROSA HOSPITAL PICU and they are talking PACEMAKER TOMORROW!!!!!!! i am still in SHOCK that all this is happening....he had an ECHO done a couple of minutes ago, and once they look at it, they will decided if they need to do a ANGIO CT on him...they are trying to find out if his VIENS are big enough to support the pacing wires and not occlude them....if it LOOKS good, then we will be going for a HEART CATH tomorrow and they will be placing they PACEMAKER that way.....worst case senerio, if the viens look too narrow and small, THEY WILL HAVE TO DO OPEN HEART SURGERY AGAIN!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, pray that this is not the case and if they HAVE to do the pacemaker (which according to the specialist WILL happen) that it can be done intravenously!!!

james is just beside himself because he will be leaving at the end of THIS MONTH for iraq...yep, if you haven't read my blog, he WILL BE DEPLOYED FOR A YEAR and he leaves us MAY 29TH......of course we were preparing to deal with all the "normal" stuff and now with this......PLEASE LORD GIVE US STRENGTH!!!

anyway, i must run.....i hope to update ya'll as soon as i can....it has been REALLY hectic around here and alex is staying with grandma during the day and james HAS to work due to all the stuff they are doing for deployement.....

if you can say some prayers for MATTHEW i would GREATLY appreciate it!!! poor little guy had a HORRIBLE birthday!!! but I JUST PRAY THAT HE DOES WELL from here on out!!!

sorry to run but WITH MUCH LOVE,

james, maria, alex, matthew & baby g (IT'S A BOY!!!)

well, it is official!!

we are officially having ANOTHER BABY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowowowow, we are SOOOOO HAPPY AND EXCITED!!! wow, to imagine THREE BOYS in my house, GOD WILLING! what a beautiful thought! of course i had a dream that this one would be a GIRL but hey, i guess it was WRONG!! BUT i am soooo happy! i actually at one time thought i would PERFER a little boy because i know what to DO with little boys! but as long as the baby is HEALTHY is all that matters to me!

well, onto other news.....it is another offical thing. james WILL BE DEPLOYED this time around, at this time....he leaves on JUNE 8TH for 3 months of training in FT DICK NEW JERSEY and then he gets 2 weeks off (unfortuanatly he will NOT be able to come home and we actually have to go over there....i don't think we could do that because i will have JUST had the baby....) and then they will be deployed from there overseas......and yes, he will NOT be home for the arrival of this little guy. he is VERY sad about this....we have not told our boys the news yet but we will this weekend or at least start trying to. there is so much to do BEFORE he leaves. we have this month of may and then he is off. there is still a SLIM CHANCE that they will keep him back for the rear detatchment, so all we do is PRAY PRAY PRAY that it is GOD'S WILL that he stay home with us. we can do no more. he put his paperwork for his DEFFERMENT for the deployment due to medical reasons but if he had continued with that path, they got the news that they would then ask for a date for DISCHARGE....so, we stopped that process. we DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE MILITARY...so, he will do his duty, whether it is here with us or overseas....i am SOOOOOOO PROUD OF HIM....he is MY HERO and has been from the FIRST day i met him. i feel soooo sad for my boys...they will DEFIENTLY miss him and ALEX will be devestated with not having daddy home. if he is gone for say 5 days, EVERYDAY, at least 10+ times a day he will ask if daddy is coming home today. we even have the calendar with the date circle on when he comes home and he will still ask. he LOVES HIS DADDY SOOO... anyway, we are just preparing and getting all the baby stuff ready before he leaves on june 8th. we will put up the bassinet and buy the clothes and get the stuff we need for baby g....

and then there is matthew. we went to the ENT dr today and matthew will be having surgery on 5/14/07 for a tonsilectomy!!! that is just a bit over a week away!! hard to believe. my poor baby....and it will NOT be at methodist so that makes me nervous about the whole thing!!! but i will trust in GOD and just pray that my baby does well. he will have to spend AT LEAST a day in PICU....i wanted to do it before james left....

anyway, it has been a bit crazy but we decided to have a little party for matthew actually on the 12th of may for his 3RD BIRTHDAY!! nothing big, just here at my home....we were not even sure we would HAVE a party...i am excited and sad because alex will not have daddy at HIS party.....anyway, we are just taking it one day at atime......

any prayers would be appreciated....

well...are we having a boy or girl....???

I HAVE NO IDEA!!! hehehehe....it has been CRAZY because we were sooooo ready to find out, boy or girl, we open up the envelope we had that had the picture in it on SAT when james came home and you should have seen our FACE!!! we were STUMPED!! we even tried looking it up on the interent for similar shots but NOPE! soooo, now we wait and see if we can find out on wed when matthew has an appt at the drs at WHMC! it is funny!! but just check out the pic and if you can figure it out, PLEASE let me know!! we say girl because we don't see any "turtle" but not sure! we are just HAPPY that there is a BABY!!! :) SO WHATEVER THE GOOD LORD GIVES US, we are HAPPY!!!

SEIZURES ARE BACK....

and they are back with a BANG!!! my poor baby!!! since the begining of april, he has had 13 seizures!!!!!!!!! man....i just PRAY THAT THEY GO FAR FAR AWAY!!! we are going to try a new seizure med starting TOMORROW so that make FOUR seizure meds at ONE TIME!!! this little guy is going to be sleeping TOOO MUCH!!! :( i just PRAY that we can get the combo right...he has done SOOOO WELL...i don't know if MAYBE it is a growth spurt that is causing him to not be ok with the meds or not....

anyway, today this morning he had THREE SEIZURES!!! and then another one this afternoon....i just pray...

next week we go see his neuro and we also see the ENT and he will probably be having his tonsils and adnoids out sometime REALLY SOON...GOD WILLING it is the root of all evil!! it would be AWESOME if that was causing his sleep apnea, his not swallowing and his drooling....again, we just PRAY!!

FIESTA WEEK!!!

yep, it is FIESTA WEEK in our home town! 10 days of tons and tons of CELEBRATIONS and FIESTA'S!!! james will be in and out all next week so we decided to take in a couple of fiesta's this weekend!! today, we went to FIESTA ESPECIAL which is a festival dedicated to children/people with special needs like our little boy!! and BOY did we have a BLAST!!! we LOVED that all the games and rides were geared for KIDS!! i mean, even the little games were FUN games!!! alex and matthew had a blast playing on them and then matthew and alex were able to get on some rides and just have a GOOD OL' TIME!!!! when matthew got on, i just wanted to CRY!! he looked soooo happy and i KNOW i must have been grinning like a silly person!!! it is just sooooo awesome to see my boys HAPPY!! here are some GREAT PICS!!

MATTHEW, ALEX & DADDY on the helicopter!! (they didn't have an army one! :(


matthew on the FIRE ENGINE ride!! he loved these rides!


ALEX having a BLAST at the fun house!! he finally was brave enough to go on his own! couldn't get him OFF of it!


OMG alex LOVED this boucy slide obstacle course!! he must have gone about 10 times!


anyway, we all enjoyed ourselves and can't wait to do it AGAIN tomorrow!!!! i think we will be going to the FT SAM fiesta!! it is really low key and just a good family outing!

wow, what a WEEKEND!!

well, we decided to go CAMPING again this weekend!!! james was SUPPOSE to have NATIONAL GUARD DUTY but because of the deployment next month, they canceled this months drill. soooo, we had a FREE WEEKEND and we decided we would HEAD ON OUT!! WOOOOHOOOO!!! we were sooooooo excited because this month and next month was going to be VERY HECTIC and james was going to be working VERY VERY HARD but since they canceled drill we said LET'S HEAD OUT!!

well, we looked at the weather and everything looked like it would be a GREAT weekend....we got the RV ready and on friday evening, a bit later than we planned, we were OFF!!! we were expecting the our nieces & nephew to meet us out there on SAT, which was going to be AWESOME for alex and matthew and then james buddies from work were also going to be there too!! so we were EXCITED!!!! well, on the road to the campground, we get a call from a family member...he was REALLY upset at us for going because it was going to be storming and there were tornadoe warnings etc!! we were like, "what?!?!?! we checked the weather and everything said there was only a 20-30% chance of rain!!" and he kept going on and on and so we were a bit worried because we had not heard anything....sooo, we are now traveling on hwy 306 which is the 2 lane road off ih35 that leads to canyon lake and we see lighening....WOW!!! he was not kidding! so as we keep going, (it is 15 miles to canyon lake from the hwy) and it starts to POUR!! and i do mean, in our FACE POUR RAIN! it was torrential rain and we could just see maybe 5-10 feet in front of our car it was sooo bad! the lightening was CRAZY and the wind was just howling and blowing...so picture this, we are on the road with a HUGE TRAILER ATTATCHED and the wind is BLOWING HARD and i think we are traveling about 15 mph and can't see ANYTHING!! i am PRAYING LIKE CRAZY and james is just trying to keep us on the ROAD!! the line of cars behind us extends pretty far BUT we see cars pulled over, something we WISH we could have done!! but because of the trailer, we could NOT pull over on the side until we found a store and FINALLY after i couldn't tell you HOW many minutes, we saw a store!! so off we go to sit it out! the whole time, i was looking up at the sky for TORNADOES!!! there was suppose to be some out there!! yikes! apparently, this weather had surprised a BUNCH of people!!!! so, after it slowed down a bit, we were again off to the camp ground! and we could FINALLY see some stars and such so we breathed a sign of reliefe! and THANK GOD there were camping spots available!!!!!!!!! you don't know HOW worried we were!! but it was a first come first serve type of place! so, we were able to take the RV off the truck and get it set up and all of us were in there finally....by this time itwas a bit after 10pm! and we got the boys settled in bed (alex asleep and matthew awake!) and just layed around UNWINDING!! then james calls again to the relative and they said, here comes ANOTHER ROUND!!! and sure enough, IT HIT AGAIN HARD!!! yikes! it felt like i was under NO shelter in the tent part!!! the wind was blowing, the rain was pouring and we think we even felt HAIL!! and then the lightening and thunder were SOOOOOO LOUD! it was REALLY CREEPY to be out there in the tent part!!! i told james, maybe we should move to the couch bed or something?!?! are we going to get hit by lightening?! he said, naw, we are FINE!! so we stayed and i finally fell asleep to all that racket! and basically had our FIRST TEST in our trailer for leaks and such and WOWOWOW, it held up GREAT!! even the beds didn't leak (they are canvas) and the trailer felt GREAT and not at moving around at all by the wind!! it held STRONG and we were REALLY HAPPY!

the next morning was COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD!!! WHERE WAS THE 70+DEGREE WEATHER?!?! it was about 40-50 degree and WINDY!!! so, definetly not what we were expecting....but THANK GOD, mommy me brought the boys some sweats & a jacket so they were warm (matthew had to stay inside because it was tooooo cold out there) and i had brought a jacket but james, the manly man, did NOT!!! i told him, why didn't you pack at LEAST a sweatshirt?! and he said that he didnt think it would be cold! i told him, we are NOT in summer but in SPRING and you just never KNOW!! so, we ended up looking for a shirt for him to wear at a convient store!! well, james had taken a drive out to the lake area and WOW, were we supprised!! it was FLOODED!!!! we wer JUST THERE a couple of weeks ago and it was not like that! so we took some picks and here is a couple but if you look on flickr on the right, you can see the other pics of the water!

here is the fishing pier underwater!


here is the picnic tables we ALWAYS sat on during the summer!




anyway, the kids came out, ALL 3 OF THEM (YAYAYAYAY) and we got settled in! the kids were in and out and they were running around and everything! we even made a friend out of our neighbors next door!! we had a nature walk later that evening, all of us, and picked up wood in the wooded area and just looked around for deer and such! it was REALLY NICE and no more RAIN! just COLD! we used the heater for the first time and it was nice and toasty! that evening, we FROZE though because the tent part is VERY COLD!! we need to invest in some thermal blankets you put on the outside of the tent to help keep you warm!! we didn't think we would have to USE them sooooo soon! anyway, we all had a nice night....we had a campfire going and we made SMORES with the kids and just had FUN!!!

the next day we just had a great breakfast (pancake & bacon) and just hung around OUTSIDE IN THE BEAUTIFUL WEATHER!!! it was NICE outside (much warmer) and i just WISHED it had been like that the day before!!! anyway, we packed up and headed out! we actually had a GREAT TIME and we got to experience a couple of new things with our RV....the heater and the rain and the wind factore....and it held up BEAUTIFULLY!!!! THANK YOU GOD!! the kids had a BLAST and they can't wait to come out again!!!

what was funny, VERY FUNNY, was that we were told that SOMEPERSON had said that "we didn't KNOW how to REALLY camp (the real way in a tent).." and of course that set me OFF!!! first of all, all we DID was tent camp (actually my WHOLE LIFE with my family) and as a couple, that was all we did BEFORE we had our kiddos!!! we had all the camping stuff (tent, stove, lanterns, etc) and this person actually BORROWED our stuff because THIS PERSON didnt HAVE ANY OF THEIR OWN to do their so called CAMPING!! ggggrrrrrhhhhh!! and, the MAIN reason we don't do it TODAY is because matthew CAN NOT be WITHOUT electricity!!! he needs it for his EQUIPMENT and he also needs the A/C due to him not able to tolerate the HEAT because in the HEAT he starts to need OXYGEN becuase he breaths too fast!!! anyway, i just thought that was TOOO FUNNY a comment not to blog about!! HA!

AND...if you want to see what ELSE happened while camping with matthew, you will need to go to his post coming up!

and for the DRAMA of the weekend....

well, we knew it would happen AGAIN and SOON...what?! do you say...well, matthew had the BIG SIEZURE on sat WHILE WE WERE CAMPING!!! he has been having small sz now since 4/4 and up until sat 4/14 he has had 5 of them....and then yep he had the big one and here is how it went...

if you read the earlier blog post about our experience this week, you get the whole scope of it...well, on friday night, he fell asleep really quick with no problems in our camper...well around 5 am, he just WOKE UP and was talking and wanting to play..so i laid with him, read to him, played with him and tried to keep him QUIET because he was screaming and being silly!!! :) anyway, he was playing with james phone and around 6:50am he started to fall asleep...well, he was laying looking at me and i was looking at him and he fell asleep around 7am...i was watching him for a couple of minutes and then i fell asleep too...well, at 7:20 am, something just woke me up and i opened my eyes and my beautiful baby was just STARING AT ME!!! OMG, what a FREAKY THING to wake up to!! i immediately started to tell him to close his eyes and i started to shut them but they were FIXED!!!! i jumped up and kept talking to him and trying to get him to come out of it...i turned on his pulse ox (i had turned it off when he was awake cause he kept setting off the alarm) and his pulse and O2 level were fine but he was just NOT RESPONDING!!!! james must have heard me because he woke up and came over to the bed...i told him he was having a sz....so we tried everything to get him out....we did mess up but THANK GOD it came out ok!! when i tried to suction him and he did NOTHING (usually he is fighting me and crying) and then i told james to get me his OXYGEN...as soon as i said that, his sats started to DROP!! by the time james got back with it, his sats were in the low 70's!! OMG, that freaked us out!! so we had it on full blast..i told james to let's give him the DIASTAT med and by the time we were ready to administer it, he CAME OUT OF IT!! james actually had his phone on 911 when he came out of it!!! THANK YOU GOD! after that, his o2 sats were fine and he just WENT TO SLEEP!! he slept from 7:45 am to 1 pm STRAIGHT!! he was just sooooooo exhausted from that sz! it lasted for OVER 15 mins!!! man, i know we should have called ems right after the first 3 mins of so but i was just not ABSOLUTELY sure he was not responding to us....but THANK GOD it all turned out ok!! after he woke up, he was back to normal and he had no more sz. he was a bit wobbly and more drooling than usual but he was ok. he played and just was ok....that was soooo scary!

i called the neurologist on monday to let him know what had happened....he just said to keep an eye on him and we will see him on MAY 1st....he has done well soooooo far but we are watching him like a HAWK!! i have a call put in to his cardiologist because for a couple of weeks now, he has had heartrate issues....so i don't know if one is together with the other...he has been dropping his heartrate into the 40-50's again and what is funny is when he use to do that before, that would mean that a sz was going to happen the next day.....he has been doing SCALES in his heartrate....in other words, he will start in the 50's and slowly work his way up to the 90's and then come back down and do it all over again....it lasts usually for about 2-3 hours...then it stablizes...this all happens while asleep since this is the only time that i monitor him but i think it might be happeneing while awake...GOD WILLING it is nothing but i will wait to hear from the cardiologist.

touduz market.....YUMMMMM!!!

hola everyone!! almost HAPPY EASTER to all!! we are FREEZING here in good ol' san antonio!!! it is really COLD AND WET!! we are hovering about 40 degrees....now, to some, that is NOTHING but to us, well, just YESTERDAY, it was high in the 70's and my whole family were wearing SHORTS AND TSHIRTS!! i had to get the jackets and long sleeve shirts out!! i can't remember the last cold day here but it must have been at LEAST a month ago or more!!

anyway, today, my WONDERFUL hubby brought me to TOUDUZ MARKET!! now, to those people in the san antonio area that don't know it, it is like a SAM's club BUT geared towards the HISPANIC population/taste and fiesta kinda of parties!!! you buy in bulk just a lot of different kind of foods....anyway, i have been BEGGING my hubby to take me since right before spring break but finally, we went today and i bought something i have been craving......CHINESE CANDY (2LBS WORTH), CHAMOY, & A TON OF THE CHAMOY IN THE LIQUID!!!! man, do you feel the teeth enamel just melting away?!?! all this stuff is SALTY AND GOOD!!!!! with some popcorn or a soda or maybe a pickle and lemon.....good stuff!!! not everyone here has ever tried this stuff but where i grew up we LIVED on this stuff!!! i craved this with both my boys and it finally kicked in with baby g!! soooo, i am set for a WHILE now!!! i can't wait to DIG IN!!!

well, matthew has had THREE sz in the last 4 days....hmmm....i have been feeling like he was going to have them for a while now and i guess it might happen...i am going to call the dr on monday and find out what is going to happen...they are called BREAK THRU SIEZURES...he might have to increase on of his 3 meds...GOD WILLING not! anyway, any prayers would be appreciated....

anyway, tomorrow, we are going to church and to my inlaws....don't know how it will go because there is drama in the family....but whatever...we are there to see g-ma, g-pa and hopefully the kids!! we will be having turkey with all the trimmings...YUM! don't know if we will have the hunt tomorrow or not...it is suppose to rain!!!