soooooooo.....

far soooooooooooo good!! last night was the 2ND dose of DIAZAPAM 1mg that he has taken and he has NOT HAD A SEIZURE and HE DID NOT NEED OXYGEN!!! :)))))) that makes me SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!! i just PRAY that it continues and he does well with this new med! it has been an UP AND DOWN kinda thing!

james has been gone now for a couple of days and it has been REALLY HARD.....i don't SLEEP when he is away! i am CONSTANTLY up all night checking on matthew and alex over and over. and if matthew moves now, he has his pulse ox, his $&^^%$#%^ ALARM GOES OFF!! of course, there i am JUMPING out of bed to go shut it off before he wakes up him or alex!!! it is easier when james is here because he is my failsafe if i don't hear matthew, HE WILL....well, he is NOT here so I HAVE TO HEAR EVERYTHING!! and i am AFRAID to miss something!! you know, that i will be ASLEEP if when he seizes or starts to desat...

anyway, the worry never ends!! :) but no problem, i will handle it! who needs sleep anyway? i did it when alex was a baby and i nursed him, i can do it with matthew too, right?!