thanks, seattle...

good to know you are there...& bekki, i know you understand the worry! :)

i just wanted to be clear that i totally understand that the if james has to leave due to his duty, then i would fully and totally support him! i would NEVER want him to give up the military when in fact it was a mutual decision for him to go active duty again. i actually feel very BLESSED that we are military! as for the home front, we would be sooooooo sad that he would have to go but we would support him and just let him know we are SOOOOO PROUD OF HIM! :) james has a duty that when called he must do.....whenever that may be!

i am glad that i am talking about this right now. i have had people ask me, "why did you go active duty military? are you nuts?!?!?!" you have to be aware that james was originally active duty army for 3 years about 11 years ago (he got out 5 months after i met him) and then has been texas army national guard SINCE then...a funny thing is also that if he had STAYED texas army national guard, EVERY unit he was with before he went ACTIVE GRUAD RESERVE (AGR) has either been sent up to iraq or is currently there right now! i think all his buddies in all his old units have already done a tour out there!! soo chances were good that he probably would have ALREADY been there if not being blessed in getting an AGR position!

james and i had been talking about going ACTIVE DUTY ARMY since we had alex. james was actaully totally against it because he said he did NOT want to be stuck in the uniform forever!! no kidding! that was his main concern!! silly man! he already did it one weekend a month & 2 weeks a year and that was enough for him! but what people are not aware of and don't know is that no where in the civilian world that i know of gives the benefits that the US MILTIARY does.....that became ESPECIALLY CLEAR when we were blessed with matthew. james had a state job that didn't pay the best and gave us benifits BUT we were paying a monthly premium of over $400 a MONTH and that is on top of copays for drs and medications and also a deductible we had to meet a year..so before matthew was born, we had already started to look at the pro's & con's of military life. i was actually ALL FOR IT and was the one that was really showing him what it offered (i know, reversed!) but i was thinking of my family. you see, in the military, our pay for a month basically was over THREE TIMES what we were making in the civilian world (and we didn't even figure THAT part of it until we got our FIRST paycheck!!)!! the military pays for your HOUSING & LIVING! what other employer PAYS FOR WHERE YOU LIVE? and gives you money for groceries and such? and gives you 30 paid vacation days a year (that you can accumulate) plus HOLIDAYS?and to top it alllll off, we don't have to pay A DIME for insurance, drs visits, & medications!! before we went military, we paid our deductible, and then each month, we were paying the over $400 + about an average of 6 drs visits at $40 a shot ($240) PLUS he had his meds at 7 a month at $25 each ($175)(& trust me, i thank GOD everyday that we HAD insurance because i KNOW there are people that DON'T have ANY insurance i can only imagine THAT! (his picu cost for JUST the room for the 98 days was OVER $800,000!! and that was just the ROOM!!) and of course that didn't include the day to day REGULAR living...when we look back on how we were making it, the only think i can say is that GOD WAS WITH US AND BLESSING US because how we made it work, I WILL NEVER KNOW!!
but anyway, there is also the retirement benefits that are the BEST too!!! that is what really made james think of it before we had matthew because in the civilian world, in the STATE job, he would retire at the age of 60+ and only get a FRACTION of what he would get military wise AND he would STILL have to pay for INSURANCE for the family and copays, deductibles ETC...in the MILITARY, you do your 20 years and get a % of your monthly base pay BUT your insurance is covered at 100% for you and your family (kids to 21 if in school)!!! who else but the military? that means that james can GOD WILLING retire from the military at age 51 with all of this a full 9+ years before he would in the civilian world! and then like he said, he can retire and work at BASS PRO SHOPS!! :) but really he wants to run his company FULL TIME then!!

but anyway, back to what i ORIGINALLY wanted to state....i am PROUD to be military and i always want to encourage other people to JOIN the military because they would get the BEST of THE BEST in the military!! alot of young people (i can say that i am 34 now! lol) don't realize what the "real" world is like...and you NEVER know what will happen! i would DEFIENTLY miss my hubby should he go BUT i would support him there and me and my kiddos would do JUST FINE, THRU GOD! i always remember the james is not the FIRST out there away from his family and some with our situation and unfortuantly will not be the LAST...we will just have to pray that GOD will protect him & his soldiers....

i knew he would have to go someday but until that day comes, you just move on and live your life day to day...

FAMILY UPDATE....long

hello everyone!

we hope everyone is doing GREAT and those that celebrated had FUN this past halloween day! WE DID! :) it was really a nice day. we didn't know WHERE we were going to be celebrating this day but we knew, where EVER it was, we WERE going to be doing it!! and there were TONS of kids in our neighborhood. ..just to give you an IDEA of how many there might have been, when we first got to this neighborhood we actually counted the number of kids and there was OVER THREE HUNDRED kids that came to our home!!! and there was just about that many this year!! they are EVERYWHERE!! ! :) NEAT TO SEE!

well, it has been a while since i last wrote an update (if you read my BLOG this might be more of a recap for you!). it has been a LONG and very SICK times this last sept/oct months. and here we are in nov SICK AGAIN!! well, in sept, we had that big seizure on labor day which he decided to pick up a virus that stayed with us for a MONTH AND A HALF! we actually went into the hospital 9/26 -9/28 to try and get him well....it didn't work and we were sent home only to be BACK in the hospital on 10/1/06 due to another almost 2 hour seizure. this time, well, he actually had to be placed on a vent...that was DEFINETLY a scary sight to see!! but we were sent home that tues to get ready for our BIG appt to see the SURGEON for the VNS SURGERY....for a bit there, i had soooo excited to be doing this surgery because it meant the POSSIBILITY of matthew not having any more seizures or at least having some of his seizure meds REDUCED....but then, i started to have some thoughts that
maybe that WAS NOT THE ANSWER to his problems...i just started to feel like SOMEONE was telling me that we were jumping into something that we did not need to be doing right at that momemt....well, then we had that big seizure on 10/1 and then our appt was that wed....well, i come home on that tues from the hospital to find a message saying that the insurance part of it was all messed up and if it was not corrected then it would NOT HAPPEN and need to be rescheduled. ..i took it for a sign that i was RIGHT that it might not be the time for it. well, i was able to get it all straighten out with the help of 2 AWESOME drs offices....we went to the appt and after a "hi, how are you" begining, he started to ask his question (the surgeon)..I think it was his 2ND question and it went something like this, "DOES MATTHEW HAVE ANY HEART RATE PROBLEMS?" i was like, "HMMMM, WELL, BEFORE HIS SEIZURE, HIS HEART RATE DROPS INTO THE 30'S-40'S" and his face said it all!! he was like,
"uh-huh....well, i don't know if this will be happening then!!!" apparently when this device delivers it's jolt to the vagal nerve, it DROPS THE HEART RATE and if his heart rate was ALREADY down because of his autonomic response, it would STOP HIS HEART!!!! ok, that was BASICALLY the end of the appt for ME and for the dr!! he was like, ok, i don't think i want to CHANCE doing the surgery on this little guy! i was like, i don't think and i KNOW i don't WANT you to do the surgery for this little guy!!!!!! no way! he told me that if for some reason we had done the surgery knowing this (even though he said that he did NOT want to take the case) he would need to prescribe ME some meds because i would be TERRIFIED and on edge with the whole thing!!!! i can't imagine the thoughts that would be running thru my head if that was the case!!! he said he wanted to get a work up on matthew from his cardiologist to check things out but he said it was pretty sure NOT the time for
it to happen!! i thought to myself, THANK YOU GOD!! he was SHOWING me that very thing when he started to put those thoughts in my head that MAYBE it was not the right thing to do right now....and then when i got the appt anyway, GOD was like, "ok, here is the REASON i don't want him to have the surgery".... i have always felt that there are reasons for everything and he sure was making sure i knew WHY....sooo, that was the END of that subject!!! we are now looking at the KETOGENIC diet for him...still have not started it but we will be...i think! anyway, i am looking into another area that our ot showed us...apparently there is this dr in NEW YORK that did a study on a pt that was thought to have seizures and presented almost EXACTLY the symptoms that matthew has (only during sleep, normal EEGS, nothing helping, HEART RATE ISSUES) AND this dr after doing studys and such found out that they were not actually seizure but were CAUSED BY THE HEART and after inplacing a
PACEMAKER on his heart.....HIS SEIZURES WENT AWAY and he was off all seizure meds!!! hmmmmmmmmmm. .....sooo, i am researching this and GOD WILLING will find SOMETHING that SOMEONE will look at and maybe gives some options!!! :)

soooooo, continuing on, matthew was STILL a very sick little boy....very congested and he had a round of TWO WEEKS of oral steroids that DID NOT HELP!! poor kid! soooo, the week of the 12th of oct we went to the pulmonolgist for another check up...well, he still sounded like a "washing machine" and they prescribed a NEW oral daily inhaler called ADVAIR HFA 115/21 (it had JUST been approved THAT week) and after 3 days on it, he was CLEAR AGAIN!!!!! wowowowowowowow. ..thank you GOD!! anyway, so life continued and we have been enjoying matthew and alex and the fall weather...well, matthew is getting stronger, i just wish he kept HEALTHY! he is really working on moving around with his frog hop/crawl that he is doing....he is getting into EVERYTHING (if you have not been to my blog, there is a video of him getting into his fav thing!) and he just got his new AFOS yestereday!! and just so you know, AFO's help him keep his feet planted CORRECTLY and help him with his
standing! they are BRACES. anyway, all was going well. we have been REALLY BUSY this past month of oct!! BASS PRO SHOP opened up here in san antonio and you probably don't have to guess very far as to WHO was there on opening day?!? yep, WE WERE!! james couldn't stop grinning!!! he LOVES that place!! anyway, there are some cute pics of the boys on the BLOG!! well, this past weekend, we had another interesting day. on friday, 27th, matthew has started getting a bit sick so we were watching him and giving him treatments etc for his coughing and congestion.. .by sat, he was running a fever and really looking and feeling SICK! well, sat night, at 11:30pm, james wakes me up ( i guess i had FINALLY dosed off) and he tells me, matthew is refluxing! so he started the suction pump and then he yells out, "OMG, HE IS BURNING UP!!" i was like, WHAT?!?! so we took his temp (ear) and he kept getting temps of 105, 106, 104...i was like NO WAY!!!! so i got another therm out
and took a temp under his arm and it was at 105.3!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!! i was like FREAKING OUT!! so we gave him tylenol and we started to bath him with water...his heart rate was in the 200's and oxygen sats were about 90 on 2 liter of oxygen, he was grunting and moaning and his eyes were rolling back!!! i had to call EMS....i was sooooo afraid he was going to have a seizure! (i had visions of a friend of ours little boy that had a high temp and then had a seizure and was set back pretty far!!!) sooo, they took us to the er (103.8) and we were given some IV antibiotics and where put on oxygen and then given some antibiotics to take home and we were sent home! all his test came back negative so they think it was the start of a virus...although his white count(?) showed signs of a bacteria infection?! anyway, we are home and he is SOOOO CONGESTED with tons of goo coming out of his nose and his mouth! poor baby! he is SOMETIMES is using oxygen when he sleeps but overall
he is doing ok. you can tell he doesn't feel good because he looks like he wants to SLEEP!!! :( i just HOPE that he gets over this and that he STOPS GETTING SICK!! i guess this shows us that as MUCH as we want to act like a "normal" family and do things like playgrounds/ parks with him and be around other kiddos, we just CAN'T!!! he is still so fragile and he just gets sick!! i sure don't want him to BE SICK!! soooo, we are back on our neccesary precautions! !! no help for it! but that is OK with us! this week we go see our cardiologist and i am going to ask him about his HEARTRATE and seizure issue...we shall see what he has to say!

on the developmental front, well, he is MOVING ALONG!!!!! he IS improving... we went to see our DEVELOPMENTAL DOCTOR yesterday and he was REALLY IMPRESSED with how much he has IMPROVED!! he saw him back in JAN and he is just soooooo excited to see how well he is doing! he did say the same thing that ECI said about his MOTOR development is what is holding back his score. he KNOWS what he needs to do and wants to do but because he is still so wobbly and so unstable, it is very hard for him to do it. he said that once he gets stronger he should catch up nicely!!! he said that we should just keep doing what we are doing!! he also said that he can see him THINKING IT THRU and all the things that require him to THINK he does well but it is just the motor ones that he can't do. but he is MOVING!!! well, to move on, we are now doing PT TWICE A WEEK!!! :) that should help him out. the PT said that she wants to do that be cause he DEFINETLY shows potential and she wants to
tap into that!! we are also going to get him a KORNER CHAIR & his GAIT TRAINER....that should help him somewhat!! sooooo excited!

onto alex, well, alex is doing being....... ALEX! he is testing us like never before. i have to ask, WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE 2'S?!?!?! is this going to be the norm EVERY 2 YEARS?! when he turned 2, it was like a switched turned on and he went from being such a good little boy to the TERRIBLE TWOS!!! then same thing going from 3 to 4...WOWOWOWOWOW! ! he is talking back and yelling and throwing fits and just CRAZY!! freaking me out!! he is sooooo smart that we have to watch him! he talks back to us now when he doesn't get his way!! i am like, WHAT IS GOING ON!! i know A LOT of it has to do with him not taking a nap anymore and him being SOOOOOOO TIRED by the time james walks in. he is soooo tired that see dad is just toooooo much for him! he will jsut become a WILD CHILD!!! but then he can turn it around and woo you!! SILLY BOY! well, he is doing GREAT on his school! actually, alot of the materials in his books for pre-school levels are more of a review for him!! he knows how to write the alphabet in both upper and lower case and he has the concepts down of shapes/what' s missing/ patterns/ phonics/etc. ...he is LEARNING how to spell by sounding out the phonics of a word....we are now working on numbers & simple add/subtract type of things..learning how to tell time...he is learning spanish too! he is doing REALLY GREAT!! he is such a smart little boy....i am sooooooo PROUD OF HIM!! and of course him on the computer, he just goes to it and turns it on and waits for it to boot up, goes to his user name, waits for everything to load, clicks on internet explorer, opens whatever webpage he wants to do and goes to town!! ALL ON HIS OWN!!! he has his own favorites with all of his fav/approved sites on it and he just picks and choses what he wants to play!!! he is soooo awesome! but now i have a tool to take away whenever he starts to act up! he actually went over a week with out it because he threw some fits and i had to take it
away and he couldn't get it back until he had 2 days of being "good"...anyway, he is really doing AWESOME and he is just being a GREAT BIG BROTHER!! he has had to go to all of the appts with me and he is sooooo well behaved!! the drs and nurses are AMAZED!!!

and james is doing great too. we just got some news that are kinda scary....we just found out that he is slated to be deployed overseas sometime between jan/march... .wowowow. ..well, i KNEW that someday he would have to go but i SURE wish it was when the boys were a BIT OLDER and matthew a BIT healthier!!! they actually said, "you and so-so are going, so you are going to the SRP"....they are TRYING to get him out of it but he told me that it could look bad for him if he does that because then they MIGHT not re-enlist him for being NONDEPOYABLE. ...we DEFIENTLY don't want to be kicked out of the military for that.....he asked me, what i am going to do if he does go? well, what can i do but SURVIVE and HANDLE IT!! and i know i can! it would be hard but i know i can do it! and i already have a plan down if GOD FORBID matthew has to be in the hospital and james would not be here, i would have alex with me during that time....i wouldn't be able to leave him because i KNOW he would be DEVESTATED not having his daddy home and then for matthew and i to leave...i don't know how he would handle it! and he always does sooooo good at the hosptial, i wouldn't be afraid of that....soooo, please say a prayer that whatever will happen that it all goes well!! i don't want james to go but we don't get much choice, he is MILITARY and i am ALWAYS aware of that fact....and i am PROUD to be MILITARY!!! i couldn't imagine it any other way!

soooo, down to me...i am doing well. i have whatever alex and matthew has! so i am dealing with it! my fibro has been REALLY BAD the last couple of weeks...i have been really hurting and sometimes having a hard time walking..i am EXHAUSTED and just ache aaaallllllll over!! sometimes it is REALLY hard for me to carry matthew up the stairs....he is getting heavier and my back problems get pretty bad. i had a fibro "whiplash" there for a while (that is where your BACK has this pain just like whiplash and you can't move really...you are STIFF and gives off SHARP PAINS if you move a certain way) and that was EXCRUSIATING PAIN where i could not turn a certain way and i couldn't turn my back a certain way and i DEFIENTLY could BARELY pick up matthew...that was REALLY HARD...i actually had to take my muscle relaxers that time (i took 800mg of motrin and it didn't even TOUCH the pain!) and i HATE to take muscle relaxers because i am soooo out of it afterwards and all the next
day! i only take them when i ABSOLUTELY have to because of matthew. the couch is really comfy for me and is actually helped me to catch a couple of zzzzzz's at night! i don't know what it is aobut the loveseat but i sleep better on it! maybe because i am not laying FLAT?! anyway, i am just tired. sad for my little man matthew and worried about my BIG man james and hanging in there with my four year old too!!!

soooo, i hope that this email finds everyone doing GREAT and everyone is getting ready for THANKSGIVING! ! can you believe the HOLIDAY SEASON is coming up?!??! amazing how times FLIES!!! well, i didn't get to get the PUMPKIN PATCH pictures this year because i PROCRASTINATED and we had sooo much do each and every weekend that we said, "the last weekend before halloween we will go..." well, we all know what happen then!! MATTHEW WAS SICK sooooo there went the PICS! :( but we did get some of the boys trick or treating so i will attach them! and there are MORE PICS in the FLICKR account on the side of my BLOG that i uploaded recently.... please feel free to check them out! so here are some pics of the boys during halloween!! please just click on the link and it should take you there!!

HERE IS THE PICTURE OF THE BOYS WITH THEIR PUMPKIN!
http://img316.imageshack.us/img316/3613/dscn0155qk9.jpg

HERE IS THE PICTURE OF THE BOYS TRICK OR TREATING!!
http://img316.imageshack.us/img316/74/dscn0156yx7.jpg

BOYS GOING AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD!
http://img316.imageshack.us/img316/8683/dscn0159qq3.jpg

AT HOME HANDING OUT CANDIES!!
http://img316.imageshack.us/img316/3620/dscn0166su2.jpg


oooohhhhh, and he is now in GOOGLE!!!! yep, if you google the words MATTHEW ISAIAH he comes up!! :) hey, what does THAT mean? i just thought that was COOL!!!

anyway, i hope all is going well....we have been hanging in there and just ENJOYING life....we LOVE to hear from everyone whenever you email...it is sooooo special to us to have ya'll email us! THANK YOU!

we are PRAYING right now that these last 2 months are NOT an indication of what is to come this winter season for matthew....i continue to PRAY AND PRAY that his SEIZURES continue to stay away! i now pray over him and just say " IN JESUS NAME YOU WILL NOT HAVE A SEIZURE " and he WILL NOT HAVE ONE!! i have to believe that! i have somehow lost how POWERFUL complete faith in GOD is....what MIRACLES can happen... does that make any sense? all i have to do is REMEMBER and REFLECT what a MIRACLE he performed on my matthew back when he was born and EVERY DAY SINCE! i watch his montage EVERYDAY to remind me of WHAT A MIRACLE i have in him!!!

well, don't forget you can keep up with the GONZALEZ clan on our BLOG www.blessingsinmylife.blogspot. com i am always updating it with what is going on with us all....i also try to add pics to the blog and FLICKR photos!

ooooohhhh, before i forget...the CHD QUILT will be showing in HOUSTON, TX this weekend coming up. The CHD Heart Quilts have been invited to have a booth at the International Quilt Festival in Houston , Texas , November 2-5, 2006 . The event will be held at the George Brown convention center. We will be in the Special Exhibit Section. MATTHEWS QUILT will be there #37!! so anyone near and around houston, please go check it out and if you happen to be there can you take a picture for us?! wish we could go but james will be doing national guard drill that weekend...

well, TAKE CARE everyone and we pray that everyone continues doing well....know that we LOVE to hear from anyone and everyone!! it is great to keep in touch!

ok, take care and GOD BLESS...

LOVE,
JAMES, MARIA, ALEX AND MATTHEW

www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/miraclematthew
www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babyalexii
www.blessingsinmylife.blogspot.com

wow....scary news....

well, yesterday, james informed me that it is VERY POSSIBLE that he will be leaving for iraq for a year to 18 months.....what a SHOCK that was...don't get me wrong, i KNOW that because he is military, it is ALWAYS the possiblity that it can happen...i accept it but of COURSE i am not happy about it!!! ESPECIALLY with all that matthew is going thru right now....he found out yesterday that he and another person WILL be going right now...they are TRYING to get him out of it but he says he doesn't know if he will be able to or not...he is also afraid that if he DOES try to get out of it because of matthew, they will not re-enlist him because he is non deployable...sooo, chances are pretty good that he will be going....wow.....what to think?! that is all i have been thinking of! right now, it might be anytime from jan-march....still not sure...i wish it were somewhere FURTHER down the line..i know he has 13+ years left so he was BOUND to be deployed sometime but i sure wish it was when both boys were a BIT older!!!...

james asked me, WHAT WILL YOU DO? i told him plain and simple, WHAT CAN I DO BUT SURVIVE AND HANDLE IT!!!! true....true....i already have a "plan" should he not be in town and matthew goes into the hospital...alex will stay with me there at the hospital....he is SUCH a good little boy i know he will do well....i wouldn't like him to be away from me & matthew unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!! he will already be DEVESTATED because daddy is gone and for us to be gone....no WAY! that will be to much for him to handle...

wow...what a thought!! james not being here for a bit....that is SOOOOOOO SAD TO THINK ABOUT!! but we will handle it! this kinda put a bunch of things on hold...we decided that we would NOT sell the house right now because i already KNOW the neighbors and they are AWESOME so i can stay here and be near them....

anyway, just had to write it down because it MAY become reality soon...

OMG.....105.3 AUXILLARY!!!

yesterday was SOOOO SCARY!! my poor little man!! he was starting to get sick yesterday so we started him on his neb treatments every 4 hours because he was coughing and just not feeling well (also gagging with his meals) at about 2 pm, he had a temp of 101 so we gave him tylenol and had to give it to him a couple of more times....well, then after he was asleep, james and i fell asleep and then james wakes me and tells me he is refluxing...i get up and he is BURNING UP!!! so i immediatley get a thermometer and james is taking a temp (ear) and he is getting readings about 105, 104.9...i was like WHAT?!?!?!?! his heart rate was also up into the 200's!!!!!! so i KNEW he must have had a high temp! so i take a temp under his arms and it is 105.3 with him fighting me and everything!! i was sooooooo scared!! i gave him some tylenol IMMEDIATELY and also get a wet towel to start sponging him off....i called ask a nurse but everyone ELSE must have been calling too so i proceded to call EMS because i was soooo sure he was going to have a seizure...his eyes were rolling back and he was grunting and just looking AWEFUL!!!! and we already had him on oxygen because he was congested....so, they come in and they take a temp and on their reading it is 103.9....so, they put him on a nonrebreather mask at 2 lts to keep his sats up and we were OFF!!! i was kinda worried when we got there because we were SOOOOOO use to going straight to the TRAUMA room and stuff and here we were going to the triage area instead...i thought they were goint ot send us out to the waiting room!!! but THANK GOD they did not! so, they put us back in a room and on oxygen and they put an iv in him and gave him some antibiotics thru the iv....and they SENT US HOME!!!! :) sooooo happy! we are just to continue some antibiotics and keep an eye on his o2 sats and just keep alternating tyelenol/motrin!

i was soooooo scared...i was remembering a freind of ours, LOT, and his 105 temp with a seizure that ended with him going from being able to sit/play etc and going to not being able to hold his head/sit etc because he fell behind developmentally! "frying brain" was in my mind...but he is back to normal...he still has a temp and he is still congested and needing oxygen but GOD WILLING we got it at the begining and he will be on the REBOUND!! :)

busy but GREAT WEEKEND!!

yep, we had a GREAT WEEKEND!! it started on friday by james coming home early and us all going out to BASS PRO SHOPS again!! what fun!!!! :) and then i ended the night by hanging out with my buddies at GNO!! we met up at a friends house and played a game of cards and watched a movie!!! just wonderful time of just talking and laughing and just have fun!!!

then on sat, we had a couple of hours out on the lake fishing and just have a BLAST!! then spent the rest of the day here at home relaxing!

then on sunday, well, we started off at CHURCH and then made our way to a birthday party for a buddy of alex and matthew...then we went to FIESTA TEXAS!!! we had a BLAST!!! and the temperature was AWESOME for being outside! it was just us four but we had an awesome time! we actually stayed to watch the MAYOR SLAYERS MOSTER MASH BASH which was just simply AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!! we had never been to it before and we were just in awe of it and we just sang along with it!!! we can't wait for next weekend, when it is the LAST WEEKEND of the season :( but there is NEXT YEAR!! so here are some pics of the boys:




look at my big boy STANDING!!!

BASS PRO SHOP IS OPEN!!

yes, it is OFFICIALLY OPEN and who but US and about a couple of THOUSAND people went to the opening on WED!!!??? and AGAIN on FRIDAY?! my hubby was SALIVATING at the mouth and couldn't utter a complete and coherent sentence to save his LIFE!!! he was toooo funny! we got there at about 5:45 pm (opened at 5:30 pm) and fought thru traffic and TORRENTIAL RAIN but thank you GOD we found a parking space!! and it is BEAUTIFUL!!!! really and truly BEAUTIFUL!! kinda like cabellas outdoors!! it is HUGE, much bigger than the OTHER THREE (yes, we have been to 2 here in texas and one in oklahoma...it would have been FOUR but that was when matthew was in the hospital in missouri!) and i actually was impressed by it!!! VERY NICE! a great place to just go and look around! here are some pics!

got some things done!

yep, today i had FOUR things on my list of to-do......i got appts for the boys for their DENTIST....man, i think i will have to take a valium or something before/sfter that appointment!! alex is DEATHLY afraid of the WORD dentist!!!!!! soooo, i told james he had better be there because there is NO WAY i can do it on my own!!! matthew, well, we shall see how he does at the appt!!

the next thing was to get an appt with the BRACE SHOP at BAMC for matthews new AFOs for his feet! he has OUT GROWN his first ones!!!! awwww.....

next, i have to find a NURSING HOME for matthew to got to so that we can do the MDCP program...there are like a MILLION nursing homes around here!!! but i WILL find on!!

and last is an appt for ME for the regular physical exam!! all in a days work!

did i mention that alex has a PHOTOGENIC MEMORY!?!?! he does! he can hear a song on a movie and then here it again on the radio or somewhere else and HE will tell ME that, hey mom that was on ..... movie! and i usually have to think about it to remember it but he is ALWAYS RIGHT!! take for instance the movie CARS...we watched it ONE TIME in MISSOURI(JUNE2006) and then about a month ago or so, we heard on the radio "life is a highway" by rascal flats and he yells, HEY MOM, THAT IS FROM THE MOVIE CARS!!!! and he will remember silly songs from shrek or where ever!! it is just amazing!!!

anyway, all is well in the homefront! TOMORROW james has a BIG BIG DAY that he has been COUNTING THE DAYS for it to happen...what do you think it could be? well, if you guessed GRANDOPENING OF THE NEW BASSPRO SHOPS in san antonio, you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!!!! this man has been SALIVATING waiting for it too open....he even went out TODAY during lunch, to buy some LURES from 2 of the fishing celeberties that will be there so they can autograph them!!! such a NUT! i will have to carry a spare bib on me to mop up all the DROLL he will be letting loose as we wander the place!! and guess where we will be for the next FOUR DAYS?! yep, THERE!! WHY? because there are going to be tons of outdoor celeberties out there!!! YAY!!

MATTHEW'S OBSESSION!!

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos

hey all! i just thought i would show you matthews newest thing!! he is OBSESSED with this cabinet!! he LOVES to go over there and pull out all the videos!!! and we will go over there remove him and put him back and as soon as his butt hits the floor, he is OFF to go do it again!!! while taking this video, he SOOOOOO IGNORED ME!! he knew i was right there and he just wanted to act like i was not there because i always tell him NO NO!! and if you look towards the end of the video he gives his "lip" because i just told him NO NO!!! such a cutie! soooo, enjoy the video!!!

NEW SONG.....

i found it! i LOVE this song from JOSH GROBAN...it is soooo spiritual and true.....i used it in the video montage of matthew and i LOVE IT!!!

because:

CLOUDS WILL COME. THEY ARE PART OF LIFE. BUT BY GOD'S GRACE WE NEED NOT BE DEPRESSED BY THEM. JUST AS CLOUDS CAN PROTECT US FROM THE BIGHTNESS OF THE SUN, LIFE'S CLOUDS CAN REVEAL THE GLORY OF GOD, AND FROM THEIR LOFTY HEIGHT GOD SPEAKS TO US. (billy graham)

and again:

(billy graham)
SOMEONE HAS SAID THAT WHEN FAITH IS STRONG, TROUBLES BECOME TRIFLES.

and i wholeheartedly believe that...when our darkest days were here with matthew MAY 21-26, 2004, when we were told that he would not LIVE, PEACE came upon us and helped us get thru it.......we just felt such PEACE AND JOY that we had had such a BEAUTIFUL baby boy......NOTHING ELSE MATTERED....we had FAITH that GOD was with us and that HE had our son in his hands......THANK YOU GOD for our son!!!

doing great!

as we truck on....matthew is doing great....still junky BUT BUT not as junky as he has been...he still drops his sats when he sleeps but he is keeping them ABOVE 90 with an occational drop lower...the interesting thing is that his HEARTRATE has been dropping TONS into the 40's!!! all over the place!! kinda reaffirms that the VNS is NOT the best deal for him!!!

well, we talked to the neurologist today and he agreed that we were NOT going to do the VNS surgery RIGHT NOW....he said, WHY DO WE WANT TO TEMP FATE by possibly doing something that could STOP HIS HEART!!!! that was OK WITH ME!!! so we talked about the KETO diet...not sure if we are going to do it or not but that is what is in the works!! so far so good on these meds!!

soooooo proud!!!

OMG, my BIG BOY ALEX!!! he finally GOT IT!!!!! what did he get? HE FINALLY GOT WHEN I ASK "WHAT DOES **** START WITH?" i had been trying with him and TODAY, he finally figured it out!! so NOW, he has been going around the house and saying, "tabel begins with T!!" ETC ETC!! all over the house!!! wow, he is such a smarty and he just turned FOUR!!! woooohoooooo!!!


and my little matthew, yesterday, he ate about 2 OUNCES of food (rice, bean, & chicken) mashed up and then TODAY, he ate some MACARONI AND CHEESE! WITHOUT BEING MASHED UP!! i just cut it into 3 little pieces and he ate the 3 of them!!!WOOOOHOOO!!! sooooo proud of him!! and one good thing that came from the hospital stay was that i am now giving him his bolous of 165cc of milk in 10 mins!!! i use to give it to him within 30 mins but now, just 10 min!!! wowowowowowowow

my boys just AMAZE ME!!!

went to drs office today....

and still the same....we went to the PEDI and he is still WHEEZING!!! he said he just didn't know what else to do for him!! he increased his FLOVENT to 3 times a day and added ATROVENT to his neb treatments....we did talk about his ALLERGY test that they did come back negative BUT he said that his IGE( http://www.asthmacure.com/diagnosis/asthma_IgGtest.htm) level was VERY HIGH!! SOOO what does that mean? he is allergic to SOMETHING but what?! anyway, then we talked about the VNS and he was really upset that we were not going to be able to do it...or that there was a POSSIBLITITY of not being able to do it...i explained that hia heart rate goes down and that the surgeon was AFRAID to be put it in because one of the side effects that it has is that it DROPS the hr when it fires...ok, that is SCARY because it could STOP HIS HEART!!! so we are leaving it up to the CARDIOLOGIST to see what he thinks!!! i don't know if i even want it now!!! toooo worriesome! his pedi was sad because he just didn't want matthew to have a life of seizures....i don't either BUT i feel that he WON'T HAVE IT!!! i jsut have this feeling GOD will watch over him....as he has been doing! i just have to have total FAITH in this!! and i do!!! :)

matthew is still doing his thing...i just hope he can clear up someday soon!! poor kid! i know it is not fun to be so sick....

GODs plans are BEST....

how true is THAT?! why do i say this? well, today, we had an appt with the SURGEON for his VNS SURGERY....to be honest, i was starting to get these doubts about actually doing it....i don't know if i was going to back out or WHAT but i really wasn't feeling very confident about it anymore...when i got out of the hospital yestreday, there was a message on the phone saying that there was NO REFERAL and that we sould have to reschedule the appt.....i was FLOORED because we had been ANXIOUSLY waiting for this appt!!!! i dont' know if that was GODs way of telling us something!! soooo i started to make phonecalls and such and at the end of BUISNESS DAY i was not sure if were going to go or not...well, this morning, we got a phone call saying that it did NOT go thru and we sould have to reschedule for the 25th of oct....i was kinda emotional because matthew kept having these seizures...well, after a couple more phone calls we got it all covered and we were off for the appt!!! well, we were there with the surgeon and he said..he was going over his history and he asked me "does he have any heart RATE issues?!" of course i had to let him know about it DROPPING into the 30-50's and he said I AM NOT SURE WE SHOULD DO THE SURGERY!! why?! because the VNS LOWERS THE HEART RATE of a pt.....hmmmm....remember, matthews heart rate lowers into the 40's and 50's....when i told him that, he said, I REALLY DON'T THINK I WANT TO DO IT!!!!! it could KILL HIM if he has irregular arrythmias!! called BRADYCARDIO and he DOES!!! he said he would have to consult with the CARDIOLOGIST to see what he thought be he just didn't have a good feeling EITHER about it!!! i told him i was SOOOOOO HAPPY WE TALKED!!! and the reason for the CAPTION above is this....after getting home from the appt, i ran upstairs to read my HOPE FOR EACH DAY by gilly graham book that my buddy sandra had given me at the hospital and GUESS WHAT IT SAID?!?!?!

THINGS DON'T ALWAYS WORK OUT THE WAY WE PLAN. BUT IF WE COMMIT OUR WAY TO CHRIST AND WALK IN OBEDIENCE TO HIM, WE DISCOVER HIS PLANS ARE ALWAYS BETTER!

and that says it all!!!

WE ARE HOME!!

yes, THANK YOU GOD, we are HOME HOME HOME!!! :) such a GREAT thing to be! we got home yesterday about 2pm or so....it has DEFFINELTY been such a ROLLER COASTER RIDE!! and as usual, the RIDE CONTINUES!! more on this later!! DON'T FORGET TO CLICK ON FLICKR on the RIGHT SIDE for NEW PICTURES of the family!!! :)

well, matthew came home yesterday still being sick! he will continue to be on ORAL STEROIDS and yesterday (tues) will be ONE WEEK that he will be on them! and he still has ONE WEEK TO GO!! his pulmonologist came to discharge us and she said he is STILL WHEEZING!! i told her i didn't understand WHAT was happening!! he has been over a MONTH with this and he can't seem to shake it!! she said either it was a VERY BAD VIRUS he originally picked up and his lungs are still really inflamed and it will take it some time to get over it or ???????!!!!! soooooo, we just conitnue his treatments (2am, 6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm) and his oral steroids!! and we POUND HIM!!! yep, CPT treatments with his nebs! we see her back next week to see how he sounds!! and MATTHEW, this little boy, NEVER had a Heart rate LOWER than 60 at the hospital but at home, THE FIRST NIGHT IN, he scares the you know what out of us by going into the 40's!!!!!!! ok, is it just that he is sooooo comfy in our home or WHAT?!?! so of course now we are on HIGH ALERT for a seizure!!!!! man....

ANSWERED PRAYER...

had to post this because i think it is SOOOOOOOOOO TRUE...i always pray for my little matthew to get better and that his seizures go away, etc...i BELIEVE that only GOD knows best for my son.... ANYWAY, my friend sandra came to the hospital on sunday while matthew was on the vent and PRAYED OVER HIM and it was soooooooo special. she also brought me a wonderful BOOK called HOPE FOR EACH DAY by billy graham....very nice story for everyday of the year.. well, today, oct 3 was just soooo appropriate: it is called ANSWERED PRAYERS and basically it is this, something i WHOLE HEARTEDLY BELIEVE IN:

God ALWAYS answers the praeyrs of his children-but his answer isn't always "YES". Sometimes His answer is "NO" or "WAIT" - and they are answers just as much as "YES"

--GOD KNOWS FAR BETTER THAN WE DO WHAT IS BEST FOR US. THANK GOD WHEN HE SAYS "NO" OR "WAIT". HIS ANSWER IS ALWAYS PERFECT