Wishes DO come true...our FAMILY in FLORIDA!! :)

Monday, May 31, 2010


THANK YOU to all the MILITARY NEAR AND FAR for your services especially to all my family and friends that have served in the miliatry!! my beautiful HUBBY that we are soooooo proud to support and LOVE!!! THANK YOU, BABE!!!

onto my dad...well, i got a phone call from HOSPICE that told me that my dad had cancer in his stomach and liver....he does not have many days to live!! wowow...very hard to hear....but he was threatening to leave and go HOME but there is no one to take care of him!!! i can only PRAY TO GOD that he realizes that and he can go to a facility that will care for him....wowow...i am so sad and am in shock....

Saturday, May 29, 2010

got a call from the hospital...

and my dad had been moved to the MICU after being transfered down to the 2nd floor from SICU then back up to the 3rd floor MICU because he was having issues with respiratory and also HR issue...i made the calls to the family and i just keep praying for him....

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Found out my dad...

was in the hospital and had abdominal surgery....

my Tia, his siter, called me today and asked me if i could please help her find my dad...i had not spoken to him in over 10 years....but of course, i told her i would call the hospitals to see if i can find him....and i metropolitan SICU because he had had abdominal surgery....well, we shall see what happens....i just pray he is ok....when i called to see how he was, i had to tell the nurse that i was estranged from my father and she said, hold on....then she came back and said she had to ask him if it was ok to talk to me and he said yes....and she just told me what had happened....i called my aunt and let her know...

Saturday, May 22, 2010


yep...over a YEAR it has been since he has had ANY sz activity and TODAY, the day after his birthday he MUST have had one...why do i say MUST and not DID? well, because it was unwitnessed....he woke up early today (again) at about 4:30am and dad took him to the potty and put him back in bed...everything was fine...then he wanted the tv on so he put him back in bed and the tv on left about 5:30am and i had gone in to check out matthew cause he was coughing but he was fine....then i went back to sleep and so did him...well, later this morning i went in because he was coughing...and he was semi awake...he rolled over and sat up and just sat there swaying with his eyes closed....wierd...i got him over to the couch and he is just laying on me and just out...i keep trying to wake him up and move him so i went and gave him his meds and he is just asleep on the couch....and then he started refluxing and then would fall back to sleep and he would wake up and relfux and then fall back to sleep and everytime he woke up, he never looked me in the eye or he never really woke was REALLY concerning me and ieven called james and had him try to wake him up or talk to him and matthew had NO EXPRESSION which is odd because he LOVES his daddy and he usually goes CRAZY with was REALLY REALLY REALLY scary...i just KNEW something was up when i woke him up...he was just not MATTHEW....and i finally had to call a nurse/dr to see what i should do...he FINALLY woke up at 1245 and he was till really dazed and not having any muscle control...and then 10 mins later he FINALLY started to interact with me...THANK YOU GOD...the dr and i think he DID have a SZ in the morning...i am so was soooo scary....and of course, it was just me and the boys....

i hope this is not the start of has been over 1 year since his last one...we will be on alert now AGAIN...that is so get really comfy and then he just likes to shake us up a bit!! oh well...thank GOD he is ok....

Friday, May 21, 2010



Matthew Isaiah turned 6 years old today! What a blessing it is and such a miracle. I know that most people when their kids have a birthday, they are so happy and think back over the last year. Some people, like us, view each day and YEAR as MIRACLES given to us from GOD. Most of you probably know our sons miracle story, so I will only BRIEFLY give you some of what happened those early days of his little life. Our son was born after WONDERFUL 39 weeks of being in my body. It has always been such a blessing for me to carry my babies for 39 weeks. I KNOW how it is to lose babies before they are ready to be born. So, when we were pregnant with Matthew, we felt so blessed and happy, just ready for our baby. Our pregnancy was as perfect as the first pregnancy. We eagerly awaited his arrival and planned his c-section to happen on May 21, 2004. Wow, we were so excited and ready. On that morning, we got wheeled into the OR ready to have our baby and at 8:54am, our son MATTHEW ISAIAH was born…he was beautiful…he gave a CRY…they took him away to clean him up and as they were putting me under to finish me up, I heard someone say, “he is not changing color’…I didn’t know what that meant…until a nurse came into my recovery cubical and said, ‘where is Mr. Gonzalez? Your baby has a heart defect & serious lung damage and needs to be transferred NOW” and walked out. The next couple of hours were every parents NIGHTMARE…knowing that EVERYTHING was out of your control and you were given a prognosis from the pedi cardiologist that he “didn’t think he would make the transport” he was that critical…that your newborn baby was at a different hospital from me, the mommy and that he was undergoing emergency heart cath and open heart surgery at 8 hours old because they found out that he had a rare heart defect called TOTAL ANOMALOUS PULMONARY VENOUS RETURN (TAPVR)…unless you have been thru this, you have absolutely NO IDEA what we were thinking or feeling…I can’t even TELL you what kind of thoughts were going thru our head. All we could do is PRAY and ask others to PRAY for our son…and they DID…we had sooo much support and sooo many PRAYERS for this little boy from all over the world…I remember being given a private room when there were NO PRIVATE ROOMS on the post partum floor…and KNOWING that that happened because they felt things were not going to go well…I remember TRYING to use a pump to express milk and crying because I didn’t LIKE to use those !@#$$ pumps and HAVING to….and just praying and waiting for the phone calls from James to let me know how things were going during his surgery….and being told that it was SUPPOSE to be a 4 hour surgery but instead, because of excess bleeding, he had to go thru the surgery AGAIN to stop the bleeding and it took a total of 8 hours…of being wheeled into the PICU on a vent and the ECMO machine…a VERY sick little boy….the prognosis of UNKNOWN….of him being taken off ECMO at 5 days old and told that there was a 1% chance of survival (and that was being nice) because he was blue again…the color of purple/blue color…of watching and KNOWING that your beautiful baby boy could be GONE by the days’ end….of finally being able to hold your baby boy…of loving on him, talking to him and just PRAYING over him…and the memories continue to be BRIGHT and STRONG in my mind….we witnessed a MIRACLE that day when by the GRACE OF GOD, he DID NOT pass away like EVERYONE thought…that by the GRACE OF GOD, he continued to survive, defy and to PROVE every doctor wrong that because of that, doctors couldn’t GIVE me a prognosis for him because they NEVER knew what Matthew would DO! 98 days in the PICU….98 days of him fighting for his life and him DAZZLING the staff with his beautiful smile and spirit….

And THAT is our son MATTHEW….that is this little boys FIGHTING spirit. He has been just such an INSPIRATION for our family. He reminds us everyday of how PRECIOUS life is and how MIRACLES happen. We always have said that Matthew must have seen GOD because this little boy is so HAPPY all the time. That is how we explain his beautiful and happy spirit. He has already SEEN such a HEAVEN and that has made him always to have such a BEAUTIFUL smile. RARELY has he been bad tempered or unhappy…when he is, we know that SOMETHING is wrong or he is feeling ill.

Right now, at 6 years old, this little boy has been thru things that NOBODY should ever have to go thru. This little guy has been in an ambulance, being transferred CODE 3, while being bagged and intubated due to having had a massive seizure lasting sometimes over 2 hours, over 10 times in his little life. He has been taken by AIR AMBULANCE (helicopter) 2 times due to the same as above!!!! He gets pounded on by a CPT vest machine for 2 times a day everyday while getting a nebulizer treatment due to his chronic lung disease. And if he is also ill because of respiratory infection (which he gets sick often), then he might have to get the treatment every 2 to 4 hours thru out the day, be on oxygen and then get suctioned sometimes down his nose to TRY to help him get all the crude out of his lungs. And while I am doing this, I am having to HOLD HIM DOWN, because he is kicking and crying thru it all and just making your heart hurt because you KNOW it is just so MUCH for this little boy. But after it is all said and done, he will sit up and smile. Our son….he is just such an AMAZING little boy with sooo much strength and such a SPIRIT. And THANK YOU GOD, he is so STUBBORN! It is a blessing…he sleeps with an oxygen monitor on him every night and we are always listening for alarms to go off.

But beyond his illness, he is learning so MUCH. He is g-tube fed but he can eat, and when he WANTS to orally eat, boy, he can go to TOWN! We LOVE watching him eat food and munch and ASK for food. He may only eat as much as a 6 month old, but every spoonful and bite is just such a BLESSING. Some days he surprises us by eating FOUR chicken nuggets!!! Yep, that is our boy. And talking, well, that is definitely still a struggle for him. He has low tone and apraxia which causes him to have a very difficult time with his speech (and eating too). But he is working hard on it. He does have a communication device that he is using more and more to communicate with us. He amazes his teacher & therapist every time. We are so proud of him! He also knows so many SIGNS. Unfortunately, because of his low tone and lack of coordination, he has a harder time MAKING the signs. But he tries so hard and when WE make the signs, he knows what we are saying. In school, he is doing AMAZING and is progressing along very well. He is cognitively there and is so SMART! He loves to mess with the teachers and play with them. He loves to make them laugh!

And walking, well he is on his way. He can crawl up the stairs on his own. He can walk up & down the stairs if we hold one hand and he holds the banister with the other. Slow and steady he gets there. He can pull himself to stand on almost any surface. He learned how to pull himself up from the floor to stand using a kitchen COUNTER. And WHAT was he reaching for when he got up there and WHY did he want to do that?! Well, because my IPHONE was sitting on the counter and he wanted it! And he got it too! We have to be careful now because he will watch us from the living room to see where we set it down and if we are not careful, well, he will be making TONS of phone calls! Several of James buddies know that if they get called and no one response to the hello, that it is probably Matthew and they start to talk to him!! Awwww….in therapy, he has learned to use a walker without ANY SUPPORTS or STRAPS on him…just him and a walker in front of him walking all over the place there!!! Just amazing! He is progressing well with that area and we just need to keep pushing him. As long as he wears his AFO’s on his feet he does well. Just progressing nicely in this area. I hope he DOES learn to walk because he is getting HEAVY. He is solid!

Our son Matthew…what a JOY and how PROUD we are of him. He brings a smile to our faces with just a look. He LOVES his brothers and they love him. And daddy, well, you can just IMAGINE the love he has for him!!! It is ALL about DADA! That is ok. Not many people are as BLESSED as we are with Matthew….to have such a SPECIAL child in their lives, IS a BLESSING. I look back some days at when he was born and remember thinking, wondering, knowing that his FIFTH day, he would leave this earth and our arms…and PLEASE don’t think that we gave UP on him, because that did not happen. What we did was we GAVE HIM UP TO GOD and we told God that whatever HE decided, we would understand and LOVE HIM…but we were PRAYING soooooooo hard that THAT was not GOD’s plans for him. And PRAYING so hard that he be HEALED and asking others for those prayers. We could NEVER imagine that we would be parents to a special needs child. But we always knew that God had BLESSED us with Matthew and that Thru God, we know that He will always help Matthew and help US in all that there is to do. There is no fear or any sadness in our hearts for ANYTHING having to do with Matthew. To us, he is a normal child and we treat him as such. Of course he has limitations and we work around everything, but we LOVE to go traveling and go places and everywhere WE go HE goes!!

And HERE WE ARE…our beautiful MIRACLE MATTHEW ISAIAH has turned 6 YEARS OLD. Every DAY, hour, minute, second of his life has been precious and a blessing to us. We couldn’t imagine a day without our Matthew with us and PRAY we never have to! We know that we were VERY BLESSED that God left him with us. We KNOW THIS. That is why we are ALWAYS THANKFUL TO GOD!!

So, that I have probably caused those that didn’t need glasses to need some, I will finish with a couple of montages that I made. The first one is a picture montage of our MAKE A WISH TRIP (I know a YEAR late!!) and the 2nd one is all about Matthew!! And you will see that the first part is probably familiar because it IS! We NEVER want to forget what a miracle he is….but the 2nd part is more updated pictures of him up 6 years old. We hope you enjoy it!!



THANK YOU ALL for all the thoughts and prayers for this little boy thru out the years....we have been so BLESSED to have ya'll in our lives. GOD BLESS!!


The Gonzalez family

Sunday, May 09, 2010

being a mom....

has been the most important thing in my life....who knew that i would have 3 BEAUTIFUL BABY BOYS! i would have never had imagine this being my life and how BLESSED i would feel IN IT! THANK YOU GOD for blessing me with these boys....they are so unique and special in their own way....Alex is just something else...such a SMARTY and JUST LIKE ME!! we butt heads all the time because we are both sooooo STUBBORN! but still, just the smartest most loving little boy in the world!! and then there is little miracle...who is such a SPECIAL little boy who God has intrusted into my hands....He must have seen something in me to bless me with him....just such a JOY and such LOVE comes from this little boy..wowowowow....and then there is baby 'mama's boy'....he is just so cute and funny and always wanting to give hugs and kisses...he is the little boy that surprised us with his presences....we thought we were thru at 2 and then GOd blessed us with him...such a JOY and such a CUTIE!

THANK YOU GOD for my babies.....i pray always that HE GUIDE me in ALL that i do ESPECIALLY in how i RAISE my babies....

here are 2 poems that i LOVE!!! the first one is for ALL mom's and the 2nd one is for mom's of SPECIAL NEEDS...ENJOY!

When God Created Mums

by Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating mothers, He was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the specifications on this order?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 180 moveable parts, all replaceable, run on black tea and leftovers, have a lap that disappears when she stands up, a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointing love affair and six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands? No way!"

"It's not the hands that are causing me the trouble," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded, "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know. And of course, the ones in front that can look at a child when he gets himself in trouble and say, "I understand and I love you" without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve gently.

"Go to bed, tomorrow is another ...."

"I can't." said the Lord.

"I'm so close now. Already I have one who heals herself when she's sick, can feed a family of six on half a kilo of mince and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly.

"It's too soft," she sighed.

"But tough," the Lord said excitedly.

"You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure"

"Can it think?"

"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the creator.

Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

"There's a leak," she pronounced.

"It's not a leak." said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."

"You're a genius," said the angel

The Lord looked sombre and said "I didn't put it there."

The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice,
a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.
This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.
Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth
Selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew."
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia."
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter?
That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it."
"I watched her today.
She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of it's own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty,
prejudice--and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
Because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles.
"A mirror will suffice."

Tuesday, May 04, 2010


Hola everyone...i hope everyone is doing amazing....well, I am writing to everyone i know for some prayers please for The Mireles Family....They are my relatives that are in DESPERATE need of some prayers. On 4/30/10, my cousin David's 15 year old son had a VERY bad accident and he is currently in critical condition in the hospital....He has had surgery and is in a drug induced coma on a ventilator..of course you can just imagine what they all must be going, i am asking for them, if you could please send out some positive thoughts and prayers for this little boy who is in a fight for his life......He is in for a VERY VERY long road of recovery....prayers for the Family that is anxiously waiting for him to get healed and home where he belongs.....this is every parents worst is a website set up so that people can get some info on Dylan... We all know that PRAYER WORKS and that we personally have seen how prayers can bring about a miracle.....soooo, please, any THOUGHTS and PRAYERS for Dylan and his family would be apprecaited GREATLY!!! and please, pass it along to other prayer warriors out there!! "GOD IS GOOD!!"

Thank you sooo much!! TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS!!!
"Thru God, All things are POSSIBLE..." Matthew 19:26

Saturday, May 01, 2010

First Communion!!! :)

My beautiful son made his 1st communion today at PRICE OF PEACE CATHOLIC CHURCH!! we are SOOOO PROUD of him....he has study HARD for the last 2 years and has really matured in his religous life! a mommy and daddy could not be more PROUD of him...he knows more than US most times!!!

we also had a little party for him and it was nice to see family and friends around us....everyone was so awesome to come! THANK YOU!!!