that is ALL i can say for the past couple of days (since friday)....i am just SOOOOOO EXHAUSTED.....really. i don't say that often but i can honestly say that RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND....well, where should i begin?
this friday, we went to mr gattis for a party for my cuz 18th birthday....it was a GREAT day BUT i think we picked up SOMETHING there...or should i say MATTHEW picked something up and i am soooooo UPSET....i can't be sure if it was there but what makes me SAD is that he was GETTING OVER HIS ILLNESS that had lasted over 2 WEEEKS(after a TWO rounds of oral steroids and 10 days of an antibiotic)!! gggrrrrhhhhh,.....I am just soooo sad about that. and TRUST ME, the only thing he touched was a steering wheel BUT immediately after i sanitized his hands afterwards but maybe not enough?! i don't know, i am just sooooo sad for him....well on SUNDAY, at 2:30am, he woke up COUGHING AND COUGHING uncontrollably and i had to give him a treatment & suction. and when he woke up in the am, he was WORST!! he was coughing and feeling HORRIBLE (laying on the floor, not playing etc) and he just started to breath really fast, retracting, moaning, groaning, just very lethargic etc and i got REALLY REALLY REALLY worried because i was getting ready to take him to the HOSPITAL because he was struggling sooooo much....i called his pulmonologist and they had ALREADY seen him TWICE in the 2+ weeks of being ill and she told me i had to start steroids again, and she told me that i had move his treatments to every 2-3 hours and suctioning etc...and then he spiked a FEVER of 103.7 AUX and it WOULDN'T GO DOWN!!! i had to give him his bath because after 2 hours his temp was STILL 102.7 even after tylenol!! he was feeling SOOOO SICK!! the nurse was telling me to if i think he should go, to take him to the hospital....i waited it out but we had a HARD NIGHT and just WORRYING.....on monday, he was STILL SICK and not himself. we had a 2 drs appt in the am and then he was just soooo tired....then, that night HE WOKE UP AT 3:30 AM coughing again but WOULD NOT GO TO SLEEP!! soooooooooooo, today, i have been UP SINCE 3:30 AM (and didn't get back home (alex and I) for TWELVE HOURS!!) and our day started at 6:45am because we had to be at the hospital for an UPPER GI at 7:30am (the drs was just checking to see if he might be refluxing or aspirating) and NO he was NOT refluxing or aspirating....then I dropped of matthew and his nurse at home for his nap and alex and i headed to our WONDERFUL tuesday PLAYDATE for alex!! it was very nice to sit and chat and watch alex have sooo much fun! then it was BACK to pick up matthew and his nurse to take him to his pulmonologist appt at 2pm and we were there for 3 HOURS!!!! yep, he had wheezing all over and he was junky etc....we ended up getting a nasal wash, a treatment with the PULMONARY CPT vest and they looked like they might want to admit him....but they sent us home on......21 MORE DAYS OF ANTIBIOTICS, ANOTHER ROUND OF ORAL STEROIDS and WE ARE ACTUALLY WAITING FOR HIS PERSONAL CPT VEST MACHINE!! if you remember, this is the video i had back on MARCH 10TH of him in his vest....we are now in the process of getting him one of these for him to use EVERY DAY to help him out....wow...anyway, it was CRAZY and i am just sooooooo sad for him because i know he does not feel good....it has been really hard because it has been NON STOP this WHOLE MONTH......and i am now almost 35 weeks along....less than a MONTH before we meet our newest baby boy.....how EXCITING...i am just THANKFUL TO GOD everyday that i don't feel bad and that i still have energy and don't feel big or antying....i can't imagine if i DID and what i would do!!!
sooooo, we are just PRAYING that he clears up....he NEEDS to get BETTER because i hate for him to use all these meds and him just not feel like himself.....
anyway, tomorrow we have ONE appt and then that is it!! i am EXCITED about that!!
please, just pray he gets better.....he needs all and any that might come his way!! thanks....
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
that is ALL i can say for the past couple of days (since friday)....i am just SOOOOOO EXHAUSTED.....really. i don't say that often but i can honestly say that RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND....well, where should i begin?
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
hello family & friends!!
we hope everyone is doing GREAT!! if you are in san antonio, i hope you have your BOATS available with all this RAIN!!! you gotta love when they say that the aquifer is FULL and can't take any more rain! when have you EVER heard that?!?!?! anyway, i for one, am HAPPY that we are not in a drought like usual but BOY my grass is SOOO HIGH and it just keeps GROWING! gotta love that ( just wish james was home!!!)
anyway, all is well on matthew front! he is getting over his cold that he picked up THREE WEEKS AGO! yep, that is what is SOOOOOO IMPORTANT for these kids....if you are sick or think you are sick, DON'T get near this kiddos!!! honestly, for you and i, we get over it in a couple of days, this little one will go thru the DRAMA for a couple of WEEKS while on neb treatments, suctioning, CPT treatments, oral steroids, blood work, chest xrays, oxygen, antibiotics and possibly hospitalization (although this time we did NOT need to be there, THANK YOU GOD) but everything else happened!! and unfortunatly, we probably picked this up just being on out and about even after we are always careful on cleaning our hands and making sure to becareful with him....we can't keep him in a bubble and we don't want to because we want him to be able to experience life and such but MAN, you sure do wish you did when they get sick like this!!! he is currently getting better but is still on antibiotics & neb/cpt treatments and we are trying to get his feeds back up to speed! but he is MUCH better now, THANK YOU GOD! he is doing great on walking and pulling up to stand. on sunday, he actually pulled to STAND all by himself (he was chasing my phone on a chair) but he DID IT!! :) SOOOOO PROUD OF HIM! and he is talking more and using his signs too. he LOVES to talk to daddy on the phone...and he says I LOVE YOU, DADDA to james and we just MELT!! he looks better standing and he LOVES to pull up on me when i am sitting on the floor! and he just love to be right in the middle of everything. he is also interacting with cartoon such as DORA and clapping his hands when they tell you too and also shaking or nodding his head if they ask a question!! it is SOOOO CUTE to watch him do it!!!! he is also enjoying eating again. he is soooo cute when he is yelling at me to give him whatever i am eating... he is LOVING his PT POOL THERAPY!! he LOVES IT!! :) he looks soooo cute when he is swimming!! it has been a BUSY BUSY BUSY month and we having been going NON STOP now for about 2 weeks. EVERYDAY from early in the am till usually 3 or 4 pm....ALL DAY LONG....appts, therapy etc....CRAZY!
alex is doing great! he is getting SOOOOO BIG! it is just AMAZING to see him and hear him! his speech is so advance and he is really reading well now. slowly but surely he is improving his reading. he LOVES puzzle books and he LOVES TRANSFORMERS!!! he is not going to see the movie. everyone asks me if he will and i just think it is just TOO MUCH for him and his age so i will not let him see it. i don't know if i am over protective but i just don't like for him to watch anything not G rated..you know? i know he wants to but he get's it now because if you ask him if he is going to see it, he will tell you, 'no, it is to big for me. i am too little to see it!" he is such a cutie! this year, we will NOT be having a party for him. he says he is NOT turning 5 because daddy is not home....i am soooo sad about that but i have to respect that for him. he really gets upset if you question him about his birthday and he will tell you he is NOT turning 5 this year. my baby...i am sad for him because it is about daddy not being here. so we are just going to do something small for him on his birthday, maybe take him to chuckechees or something on his birthday. something fun. i am soooooo proud of this little boy! he is getting ready to start his KINDER curr. for homeschool. i think it will again be review but i might really get thru it and maybe start him on 1st grade stuff...not too much but maybe on things he is good at and slow down on things he is struggling with. he can sound out all his words and figure them out so we have to be careful!! james was funny and said that he has to watch him if he takes him to a public restroom on what is on the WALLS because he will start to sound it out and READ IT!! lol...i am still looking at getting him into a playgroup for homeschoolers....should be FUN!!
here is some of the EXCITING NEWS that came last week!! we have a DATE for our scheduled c-section.....
AUG 24TH, 2007!!!
WE ARE SOOOOO EXCITED!! it is EARLIER than the one originally thought i would have (30th) so that james could spend some time with the baby! BUT and here is the BIG BUT (not mine!! :) i have to have an AMNIO if i have a scheduled c/s BEFORE 39 weeks!!! can you believe that?! i refused the one earier but now i HAVE to have it if i want one before 39 weeks!!! YIKES! but it is to check his lungs....so i guess i will do it!! we are EXCITED.....our nurse will also be watching matthew on FRI, SAT,SUN during the day so that is a LOAD off my mind!! hopefully we will get a night or evening nurse to help out too! things WILL work out, GOD WILLING!
well, onto the OTHER exciting news.....on MONDAY we got the news that............JAMES WILL BE COMING HOME ON AUG 23RD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is SOOOOOOOOO AWESOME and we are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!! we did NOT think he would be able to make the delivery but we were just hoping he could spend some time home with him and his boys!!! he will be home with us until AUG 28TH and we are SOOOO HOPING it will be extended, which MIGHT happen! WHATEVER as long as we get to see him before he LEAVES!! right now, he will be in IRAQ on SEPT 1st.....wow, not tooo far away now. but we are ready! he will be in CAMP BUCCA in iraq which is a prison there. he is ready to get it all over with. we are HAPPY he will be at a prison....not away from us BUT at this prison for us is where we think is the best right now (is there a best?!) anyway, we just want him to finish and GET HOME as soon as possible, healthy and safe!!! but he is doing GREAT right now...just the usual, TIRED and working 7 days a week. he has been learning all those things he needs to do his job there at the prison....use your imagination! :) also, he now has to carry his weapon everywhere and i teased him that he has to sleep with it and sing that famous song from the movie FULL METAL JACKET "this is my rifle, this is my gun....etc, etc" and he laughs! i always try to keep it light and just tease him and make him laugh....and boy, do i miss him and his sense of humor!!!!
anyway, all is going well with the family. just dealing with the the day to day living and enjoying LIFE! i have been having TONS of issue with my fibro mixed with pg pain....it has been a bit painful but i am dealing with it. the boys are doing fine and just having fun and learning!!! i was also given a SURPISE baby shower yesterday with my good friends (even one from far away!)!! it was SOOOOO AWESOME and joshua got some CUTE outfits!! it was actually just GREAT seeing them there!! THANK YOU!!! :)
ok, take care everyone and i will update with any new news!!! just PRAY that james makes it home and that we DO have the baby on the 24th!!! WHAT A BLESSING!!!
take care everyone and GOD BLESS....
JAMES, MARIA, ALEX, MATTHEW & JOSHUA (8/24/07)
Friday, July 20, 2007
yep, my MIL jinxed me!! :( it has been raining here like FOREVER and my niece and i went shopping for alex birthday and we were at toys r us....we were walking out of the store to our car and i stepped on the yellow arrows to show direction to go down the street and WHAM!! my right foot shot right from under me and as i felt it i KNEW i was going to fall and i bent my knee (thank GOD) and bent my left knee and ended up falling on my left knee!! it actually was kinda graceful!! :) but i am SORE NOW!! i was like, "pg lady is ok!!" it was actually funny but man, i am SORE SORE SORE NOW!! we went shopping today to get some stuff for alex 5th birthday....i am soooo excited! he is TOTALLY into the TRANSFORMERS and i we got him some cute stuff for that....we are NOT going to have a party for him because he does NOT want one! he said that he is NOT TURNING 5 THIS YEAR and when we ask him why he said cause daddy is not here....awww...i feel soooo bad for him....he really misses his daddy and DOES NOT WANT A PARTY....so what we are going to do a "playdate" a couple of days before his birthday with all his little buddies that he plays with (9 of them) and i am going to order some pizza and maybe some cupcakes and that is it! i am not going to tell him what they are really there for....it should be fun!
well, matthew is still really sick. he is on ANTIBIOTICS now and he is also on ANOTHER ROUND of steroids!!! yep, the first one didn't work and he is still on neb treatments every 4 hours!! poor kiddo! and this week we were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BUSY it was AMAZING!! EVERYDAY, minus tues, we were out from about 9 am to about 4 pm1!! crazy!! drs appt, hosp, xrays, therapy you NAME IT!! i think i over did it a couple of days cause i started to have contractions!!!!! and they were PAINFUL!! i honestly thought that i was going into labor ONE DAY but thankfully, all is well.....
Sunday, July 15, 2007
life is going SOOOO FAST! i can't believe it has been about a week since i last posted! amazing! i mean to post more often but i just get busy or i am sooooo tired or.....the list can go on! but life here at the family home is going ok. we have a run of sickness going thru our house and that has been a challenge TOO!! it started with me last weekend....i started with sore throat and sniffles and it went from there BUT i think it is my allergies because it started after doing a BIG dusting session on my house!! well, then on WED, alex woke up with the sniffles and sneezing like crazy and then matthew started up right after naptime with nose runny!!! YEP, either i was actually sick (which i DON'T think so) or we picked it up SOMEWHERE!! well, alex and mine are slowly going away....actually alex is doing about 90% better and i am about 75% (still have the nose going) and then there is my little matthew.....matthew as usual, got the worst of it. that is what somepeople don't understand about matthew. for you or me, it is just a MILD cold with a couple of days feeling sick and then poof, we are done! matthew gets MUCH WORST! a simple cold turns into something else entirely! by THURSDAY, the next day, he was MUCH worst, with coughing, sneezing, and constant runny nose. thank GOD we had a drs appt already with his pulmonologist and we were started on neb treatments every 4 hours, and if he got worst, we were to start the oral steroids....soooo, by FRIDAY, he was WORST! so he is now on his run of oral steroids and is using oxygen during nap time!! yep, not a happy camper with treatments and suctioning going on! poor kiddo! his oxygen sats are also pretty bad! this is the FIRST TIME since james has been gone that i am doing it on my own. it has been really ok THANK GOD because i still have nursing help during the week during the day. just the evening is a bit tough. i timed it, it takes 30 mins to get him his treatments, meds and such before he gets to actually start to sleep....james feels really sad that he is not able to help me but i told him that all is well. i just PRAY that he gets better SOON!!!
alex is doing better too....he actually had to have the GRANDIUALOMA removed this past week on tues and it was pretty sad....he cried and he had to get a shot in the neck and then get the growth removed with a razor and then cauterized with a tool...he did SOOOOOOO AMAZING.....i am soooooooo proud of him....he is into TRANSFORMERS right now so i went and got him one because he did SOOOOO WELL!! he is getting sooo big! the dr thought that he was SIX years old and when i told him, no, he is only 4 he just about FLIPPED!!! :)
james is doing GREAT....just tired as usual and WORKING really hard....he did get a package from us and he enjoyed the goodies....they already sent MOST of his personal belongings overseas this week!! yep, it is almost that time for him to go over there...it is hard to believe but GOD WILLING he will be able to come home RIGHT BEFORE he has to leave to see the baby....GOD WILLING.....
well, we got in to an accident on wed! yep, my FIRST in like FOREVER!!! so one didn't see me i guess i was in their blind spot and they moved into my lane with me in it!! they just scraped my side and they have already paid for it and got me a rental and everything is getting taken care of right now!! i just took it in today (7/16)....
well, i now have gained a TOTAL of 4 lbs in this pg!! my dr was really surprised but HAPPY with the weight...she said i looked GREAT and that the baby seems to beding fine too! hb 147 and just everything looks well. i asked to see if i could schedule my C/S on the 27th instead of the 30th and to do that, i have to have an AMNIOCENTISIS!!! yep, they want to be sure that baby is ready to come out!! wow! i was kinda shocked but they didn't want to have any problems with the lungs of the baby....so she asked me if that would be ok and i said that that was FINE because as LONG as james was able to see the baby, i would do it! sooooo, she will call me back and let me know when the date was for sure!! i am scared but excited! i told her that IF i went BEFORE my scheduled c/s, i would TRY to have a natural birth!! i am excited that that COULD happen but i kinda know that it would be something probably that would NOT happen....we shall leave in GOD'S hands!! as long as the baby is healthy, i am HAPPY!
OK, well, that is it for now! we are preparing for alex NOT-birthday coming up...i will explain at a later date...ta-ta!
Sunday, July 08, 2007
hola everyone! i hope everyone had a GREAT weekend! this weekend was quiet time and a time to START CLEANING!! little by little this little house is getting a SPARKLING clean feeling FINALLY!! just tossing and throwing and shredding away!! and that was JUST in MY ROOM! i am just about finished here....we spent THE WHOLE DAY SAT upstairs and it was really nice...the boys had a GREAT time....getting into everything i was cleaning!!!
well, i promised some pics and here are just a couple of the boys!
this is of MATTHEW looking cool in his hat and glasses....isn't he just a CUTIE?!
here is matthew and his black eye in the bath....awww....he LOVES to take baths!
here is alex in his pool...funny story! i had PROMISED alex that we would swim that day because brother got to swim at therapy...he woke up about 6 am wanting to go NOW swim...i told him that it would have to be AFTER matthew ate...well, i watched the weather and there was this BIG BIG STORM coming in so i told alex we might not....then i couldn't do it and we ended up out there at 8 AM!!! yep, that early and they were able to be out there for about 45 mins before the storm hit! they had a BLAST!!
MATTHEW in his pool...
ALEX just lost his SECOND TOOTH!!! tooth fairy has been BUSY!! :)
i will have to post some more soon! take care and GOD BLESS...
Thursday, July 05, 2007
hola everyone!! i hope everyone is doing GREAT and had a NICE 4th!! as for us, well, we doing fine....just missing daddy! i guess that will always be our answer! but really, all is goind well, THANK YOU GOD!
well, people have been asking about james....james is doing FINE, again, just missing his family. he has been officially mobilized for a MONTH now! wow, it goes by fast THANK YOU GOD! on his training, they are doing a WHIRLWIND of training right now...non stop! they usually start at about 4AM and end about 9pm.....and he is TIRED! they are doing stuff like learning how to take down a man (phyisically), firearms and also he ended up getting MACED on sunday and just YESTERDAY he was finally able to open his eyes normally! he said it was NOT a pleasant experience! he also said that after they got maced, they had to run an obstical course (about 6 different obsticals (taking down a prisinor, hand to hand etc)) BEFORE they got to wash their eyes!! yeah, he was HURTING! he said he physically STOPPED BREATHING when the water hit his eyes but apparently that is normal! but other than that, he has been just sleeping on his hours "off" and trying to watch movies! he took his dvd player and just asked me to send off the bose speakers...i am happy he has THAT!!! he has enjoyed the care package i sent with some pics of the boys and some goodies!!! i will get another one going soon so that he can get his speakers!!
well, alex is doing GREAT!! i am SOOOOO PROUD of him! yesterday, while we were at GRANDMA's, matthew had just finished his tube feeding and grandma had picked up matthew and was kinda bouncing him on her knee and playing with him when alex turned around from where he was playing with his cuz and said, "grandma, don't bounce him so much because he just finished eating! he might reflux!!!" WOWOWOW, i was just SOOOOOOO PROUD OF HIM! it made my heart just BURST with pride because he was taking care of his brother! just like that, just said it! wow....he is also doing better with brother....he is always loving towards him but he is being ESPECIALLY nice to him now...he lost his FIRST TOOTH on monday RIGHT before we went to the DENTIST!! he was sooooooo happy and he got his first visit from the TOOTHFAIRY too! :) his first TWO grown up teeth are in too! he is ready to lose one more too! james was really sad that he missed his first toothfairy experience....he will have to have some serious dental work next month though....we also went to the drs today because he has a GROWTH on his neck (looks like a blood blister) and the dr is sending us to a DERMATOLOGIST because he said it might be an ANGIOMA and it will need to be seen...that is kidna scary for us!! so please, just say a prayer that all goes well!
matthew is doing REALLY GREAT!! although, he is having some more seizures recently! within the last 3 weeks he has had about 15 episodes (today he had a 6 min one!) but he is doing well. he has enjoyed his aquatic therapy session but HATES HIS OT sessions!!!! he IMMEDIATELY starts to whine and to get REALLY SLEEPY...not wanting to work or anything!! he is not funny! but with his PT, he LOVES it and he walks up and down the hallway and of course in the POOL!!! today, he crawled up TEN STAIRS at the house!! james reminded me to do this instead of carrying him (which is getting REALLY hard to do) and we did and HE DID IT!! soooo proud of him! all i did was steady him. YIPPPEEE!! i feel he is getting so much stronger! THANK YOU GOD! this month he is going to be VERY BUSY this month with SIX doctors appts PLUS his 2 times a week OT & PT!! it should be interesting! we are just PRAYING that he keeps HEALTHY and also those seizures go AWAY!! but he is doing well. we are just marveling at his STRENGTH and also how smart he is. he learned to nod Yes & NO when appropriate. before everything was NO unless we prompted him to nod yes! so now, he tells us Yes & no!! that is EXCITING! and he is able to stack blocks without knocking it over (before he would not be able to release without knocking the blocks over)...he is also very verbal on what he wants and WHEN he wants it. we are always telling him to "use his words" which are coming along nicely! he is also able to use his PINCHER grasp better now. slowly but surely....THANK YOU GOD for EVERY little accomplishment!
as for me, i am doing GREAT!! i gained my FIRST 2 lbs of pregnancy at my last appt! i am sooooo happy that that is ALL i have gained! i feel GREAT except that now i am getting TIRED if i don't get my noon time lay down. it has been a GREAT pregnancy and i have been SOOOOOO BLESSED! i just wish james was hear to enjoy all the BIG movements that joshua does now or let him SEE joshua moving around....so far, all the test have gone wonderful and the 2 FETAL ECHOS have shown everything in the heart looking good. i passed my GESTATIONAL testing and everything and all the blood work has come back great! THANK YOU GOD! he is moving around and still kicking. i LOVE to feel him move around. i am 31 weeks along now! wowowow...they plan to schedule the c/s the LAST WEEK OF AUGUST!! we are HOPING for that monday so that we would have a BETTER chance of james being able to be there! i am getting EXCITED and ANXIOUS about it all! for me, the not KNOWING if i will have NURSING COVERAGE for matthew during the days that i am in the hospital is what is the HARDEST thing going right now. i don't KNOW if they will be able to staff those 48-72 hours of my hospital stay and without james here....what do i do? you can't just BABYSIT matthew...he has too many medical issues such as g-tube feedings, medications, SEIZURES etc!! my MIL will take care of alex for sure, but is unable to take care of matthew...i also have 2 GREAT WONDERFUL FRIENDS that said they would help and LEARN matthews care just in case they can't find some one but i still just PRAY PRAY PRAY that the agency will be able to find some nurse to work those hours...i think that is what is causing me the MOST stress right now. they have about 2 months to find someone BUT because until the 16th when i have my next appt, i will not be able to get a CLEAR date for the c/s, i can't tell them EXACTLY when it will be!!! that will STILL get them at least a month and a half time to get someone...anyway, i will leave it in GOD'S HANDS....
well, that is it for the update! i will try to up load some GREAT pics of the boys on our blog (www.blessingsinmylife.blogspot.com) i have some GREAT ones of the boys! probably by the end of this weekend i will get it done!
we hope everyone is doing GREAT! it has been a just a whirlwind of appts and this month will be THAT MUCH MORE BUSY! we are just enjoying everyday, talking with daddy on the phone and just trying to stay busy!!
well, take care everyone and GOD BLESS!