WHAT A WONDERFUL WEEK....

Wowowow....what a BLESSING this week has been for me and my family....it was also such an awesome event in my life right now....i feel so empowered with this week...i feel sooooo blessed!! and as you know, this is my year of: 2013 my word(s) of the year would be FAITH/BLESSED....WHY 2? BECAUSE I have FAITH, I AM BLESSED.....I AM BLESSED TO HAVE FAITH!!

this week, I am just continued to be in AWE of my husband...really, I KNOW I have ALWAYS been sooooo BLESSED that GOD chose him for me...our love for each other has always been THRU GOD...from our first meeting thru today, every moment GOD has guided us and just kept us on track...but this past week, I was just in AWE of what a HARD WORKER my husband is...i have always know that because that is just who james is...he will NEVER sit back and watch others do his work or their work and not offer to help or be right in the mix of it...and this week was just such an example...the reason he was a week earlier than everyone else was because he was there to help another of his soldier get everything ready for their 2 weeks out in the field! And boy, he worked sooooo hard this week...and still EVERY MORNING, went downstairs to the breakfast the hotel provided, got food for ALL OF US and brought it up to our room so that when everyone woke up, they could have some breakfast there in the room, before he left for work!! yep, he is THAT man, that WONDERFUL KIND OF MAN....again, BLESSED!!! and every night, came home (sometimes by 7, others as late as 1030) and rolled around with the boys, took the boys swimming or we went out to eat, or brought home dinner....and I see what a hard working man he is, what a WONDERFUL father and husband he is...and just now, saturday, he drove over 8+ hours (due to problems with some hummers and other issues) in a convoy with all his soldiers getting to FT HOOD, so that he could spend the next 2 weeks out in the HOT SUN, in the field, with no A/C doing his job and doing it WONDERFULLY....all for his family....and he will do it with a smile and with such an AMAZING attitude that most of his soldiers all want him around because he has that personality and that kind of attutide that it lights up the people around him....that's my husband and this week was just such a example of why I love him soooo much and why my children's love for him is just such a BEAUTIFUL thing to witness....THANK YOU SWEET GOD FOR MY BEAUTIFUL BLESSING OF A HUSBAND....THANK YOU for EVERYTHING that he is!!

and then on to my revelations....it was such an total act of FAITH IN GOD for me to say YES to go this week to FT HOOD BY MYSELF with only the boys....i have never gone that far by myself with the boys (took us about 3 hours)....but I said YES....and GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD...he watched over us and got us safetly there and BACK!! but in going over there, I feel so much BETTER about myself and being able to really get out of the house BY MYSELF with my boys...now some people might not understand WHY it's such a BIG DEAL going out by myself with my boys....mommies do it ALL the time...well, what you have to understand is that it's a BIG deal because my beautiful son MATTHEW, who is 9 years old and has cerebral palsy and other special needs, is non-ambulatory and non verbal and I have to be able to get him out of bed, dressed, on and off the bathroom, down the stairs, fed, outside, up and in my SUV and continue this thru out the whole day and also take him on/off car, in and out of his wheelchair (not to mention getting the w/c in/out too) and of course he LOVES to ask to go to the bathroom if we are somewhere new OVER AND OVER!! :)....dare I mention that he is now OVER 50 POUNDS and is OVER 42” tall?! YEP , MY GROWING BOY! But I just PROVED to MYSELF that YES, I can do it and I HAVE done it but this time, it was 5+ DAYS of it all by myself...i usually have either nursing help or james help but I did it all on my own for MORE than 5 days AND I went OUT OF TOWN!! don't get me wrong, I had issues with my back during the trip and my quads and bicepts were killing me but the whole point is I DID IT!!! allll thru the GRACE OF GOD!! I felt so EMPOWERED doing it!! and it just was a testiment to me that I could do it and not to DREAD it...be cause I do go out with all my boys but it is usually only to church (when james is working on the weekend) and that is it....but after this weekend, I look forward to going to the store and where ever I need to go...this week, I TOOK THE BOYS TO THE MOVIES!! :) yep, we went to see TURBO while we were down there in killeen...(we did get lost but it was the !@#$% maps app on my phone!! :( )but again, it was OK...i used another app and found the right place...and it was OK!!! I am EXCITED now to do something with the boys....i know it is going to be hard....i know that I have to be VERY CARE so I don't hurt myself, because that is one of my BIGGEST FEARS....if I hurt myself, I will be unable to help my son....be unable to care for him AT ALL...and that is what has held me back from venturing far from home....because I have to LIFT him into the EXPEDITION, LIFT him into and out of his w/c....and doing that, at him being over 50 lbs and me being just shy of 5 feet tall, it is pretty difficult BUT “..thru GOD all things are POSSIBLE...” Matthew 19:26

soooo, then we got ANOTHER BLESSING from GOD...on Monday evening, there at the hotel in killeen, we were sooooooo BLESSED to find out that because of some mix ups out in the field, the few soldeir there all got to be put in a hotel for the week so that ment that WE DID NOT HAVE TO PAY OUT OF POCKET FOR OUR HOTEL ROOM which we were originally doing!! wowowowowowowow....what a BLESSING because it was going to be a couple of $$ shy of $400!!!! whew! James and I could not PRAISE AND THANK GOD enough!! GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD! When that happened, I just felt GOD's hand in us being there with james....His Love and His BLESSINGS on our family....

so, THANK YOU for anyone who read this far....i just really wanted to share my happiness, our BLESSINGS, and how I feel EMPOWERED now....

MATTHEW....

my matthew....well, matt is sick again...3+ weeks ago, he got REALLY sick on us with some virus that actually got ALL OF US here at home...it was soooo bad that he was actually on OXYGEN at night for over a WEEK!! and he was on HIGH FLOW 4 liters of oxygen!! that is a first for him especially since his OXYGEN SATS were only running about 90%...that was soooo scary for me trying to get his oxygen levels UP to acceptale levels...worried i was going to head over to the hospital...and that hasn't happen in a LONG LONG TIME, THANK YOU GOD!! he ended up taking a antibiotic for ADULTS at ADULT DOSES for 10 days, something he had never taken before, 2 rounds of oral steroids and TONS AND TONS of treatments!!! :( well, last week on 2/11/13 we went back to see dr G for a follow up from this illness and we were CLEAR because he was doing so well...yayayya....but then THURSDAY 2/14/13, josh started coughing....i tried to keep him and matt clear of him but of course, it didn't happen and matt started getting sick on sunday night!! :( and here we are, 2 drs appts later (tues/thurs) and he is back on antibiotics, oral steroids, treatments every 3-4 hours and dx of BRONCHITIS AND METAPNUEMO VIRUS....sigh...

it's been a crazy couple of months now and i just wonder how his little body is taking it all....i know that his lungs are very congested and hearing his X-ray were very difficult to diagnose because of his severe chronic lung disease was really scary to hear....his lungs on an xray are suppose to be BLACK (a normal lung) but his are almost all WHITE with all the scar tissue and his chronic lung disease...that is what scares me the most..he has been getting sick soooo much this last couple of months and they were ALL RESPIRATORY...i know that all these oral steroids, antibiotics and treatments can't be good for him and i just wonder...i KNOW GOD is taking care of him and i DO leave my feelings and troubles at HIS feet....i am just a mommy that sees her little boy struggling and breathing fast and HATING his vest treatments and nebulizer...my beautiful son is so strong and such a loving little boy....he goes thru so much but is always happy at the end of the day....what a BLESSING IN MY LIFE he is and i just PRAY that he gets HEALTHY and STRONG so that he can have a break from these illness and be able to be healthy without all this stuff going on...my little boy....

WELCOME TO MY BEAUTIFUL NIECE!

I am so happy to announce that my only sibling, has had his 1st baby!!! well, he didnt but his wife did!! :) wow, she is BEAUTIFUL and i am soooo far away from her! :( she was born today over in HAWAII where he is stationed at. wow, i am so happy for them! it's funny, i was thinking about the fact that he has only ever seen my 3 boys as babies only my oldest boy! all the others were born while he was over seas! and here we are again, with it only being just he and i left in our little family, both our parents have passed away, he is in HAWAII and i am in TEXAS! BUT GOD WILLING we will be going to be going out there in MAY so that i can meet this little lady! we are alllll sooooo excited about it! what a BLESSING it will be to meet her and my SIL!! wooohooo!!

sooo, just wanted to share my beautiful niece!!!

GOODBYE 2012....HAPPY 2013!!!

WOW...2013 CAME AND WENT IN A FLASH!!!! hard to believe that a whole year went by soooo quickly!! my cousin and i last night were talking about ONE WORD that would describe 2012 and then one word we WANT to describe 2013...i came up with for 2012...DAZED....for 2013...it's a double edge word=BLESSED/FAITH...i'll explain each one...
FOR 2012...the year of MANY ups and downs....for me DAZED is the word of the year because sooooo much happened to me personally in that year...and i don't know if it was because of my pain medication or just everything personally that was happening to me that i was constantly in a DAZE...things that i normally did such as keep up with matthew's appts, meds, numerous phone calls that i NEED to make and just generally all the stuff that comes with having a special needs little guy i was putting off, FORGETTING (a BIG no-no) and just NOT DOING THEM...it was crazy when BEFORE i had been soooo organized, had my book with aaaallllll my notes and such and this year....uh...not so much!! i can honestly say, i have NO RECORD of names i have spoken to when calling for important things or any NOTES other than those on little bits of papers all over the house that i know i can't put together!!! :( so not MEEEE!!! AND THEN with the homeschooling front...i have taken such a BACK SEAT to it and pretty much let ALEX do what he needs to do and nothing else...we have been soooooo busy with appts for matthew, appts for ME, and playdates/extra classes for ALEX that we are constantly on the GO GO GOOOO!!! it's crazy!! but this year has been full of BLESSINGS as i CONSTATLY say about my life...even with all the crazy and dazed feeling, i STILL KNOW and FEEL like i am BLESSED!!! GOD IS SOOOO GOOD and has ALWAYS been in me, with me... He is at the START of me and everyday is such a BLESSING no matter what the day brings...i feel like no matter what, because i have GOD in my life, it will be a BLESSED DAY!!!! :)

this year, my children, THANK YOU GOD, have grown sooooooo much!!! my ALEX turned 10 this year (double digits, baby!) and he is now in 5th grade! he is a couple of inches shorter than me and keeps getting BIGGER!! he is sooooooo smart!! REALLY not an exaggeration or mommy prejudice! :) he has such an INCREDIBLE mind and such an AMAZING memory! he can recall things that i don't even remember and he has to remind us about it. and wowowowowow, on his schooling...watching him figure out all his subjects and KNOW how to do it and also, impressing the HECK out of us when a cousin 2 years older than him, bringing over some HOMEWORK for school (math) and the cousin was having a problem and didn't understand the math and alex coming over, casually looking it over in 2 secs, KNOWING THE ANSWER and answering CORRECTLY!!! crazy! and him HELPING that cousin with the rest of his work! and then same with other subjects he had brought over!! MY BIG BOY!!!! and he started CYO BASEBALL this year with our church and watching him GROW from NEVER having played ANY sport before to joining a team that was ESTABLISHED, intergrating himself and really coming from never played baseball (batted/catching balls/RUNNING/throwing balls, etc) to after the season, LOVING it and really knowing how to PLAY the game and do everything he NEEDED to do without being scared!!! my, how he has GROWN!!! and in his FAITH, he is AMAZING!! he LOVES GOD and he probably knows MORE about the bible and our FAITH than james and i combined!! so proud of our little boy!!

and then there is MATTHEW....he turned 8 this year...another miracle in our life!! wowow...time has FLOWN with this little boy too..watching him get BIGGER, is just so amazing and we MARVEL at everything he has DONE and is LEARNING!!! this year, he made his FIRST COMMUNION!!! wooohooo! we are sooo proud of him and what an ACCOMPLISHMENT that is! and he is now in 3rd grade and is doing WELL with his amazing teacher. unfortunately, this year has brought FUSTRATION to him which in turns causes him to lash out sometimes because we DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! :( he does not do it often but he gets sooo frustrated! poor guy! can't wait and i PRAY he will either learn to talk or sign or use his TALKER! :) he has taken off on EATING like a champ orally and has gained weight. he KNOWS HOW TO SPELL HIS NAME PHONICALLY and if you give him the letters, he can spell it that way too! he is also learning to READ and knows all his ABC, NUMBERS, PHONICS, SHAPES, OBJECTS, ETC and we are just crazy proud of all he has done!! on the flip side, HEALTH WISE, it has been an UP AND DOWN YEAR...seizure wise, it was 27.5 MONTHS without seizures until dec 9th when he had one at 0430 and lasted for at least 20 mins...so, our count down is back down to 1....his LUNGS have been a BIG PROBLEM this year with CONSTANT illness, wheezing, junky, on crazy amounts of STEROIDS, TREATMENTS, antibiotics, doctors appts, etc ALLLLL YEAR LONG!! :( NOT a good year for his health...he is doing well with his CPAP, and through all the illness, he is STILL OUR HAPPY BOY!!! so proud of him!

and our SURPRISE BLESSING JOSHUA...he turned 5 this year and it has been a BLESSED year for him!! he is such a HAPPY boy and full of life and mischief! we were sooooo BLESSED that he was our little surprise. he is our BABY and just watching him grow up is bittersweet because we know there will be no more after him!! :( even though i wanted another little one but GOD has other plans and that is ok. but he is our little sports guy. he LOVES to be playing ball...this year, he started CYO BASKETBALL and he was soooo good!! he is still so good and one of the better players! :) and then he also played CYO BASEBALL T-BALL!! awwww....watching him out there is such a JOY!! :) AND this year he is in KINDERGARDEN!! and he is learning all his phonics and such and is doing REALLY good in his schooling....soooo proud of this little guy!!!

James is doing GREAT!!! he has a GREAT position at work and his working sooooo hard and doing SOOOO GOOD!! we are so proud of all the hard work he does for our family! he is now also a COACH for CYO sports so he is active with the boys and their practices and games...he is in his ELEMENT with all of them and enjoys being out there with the boys and the KIDS! it's been a crazy year for all the traveling and away time the military has had him doing this year....and next year promises more of the same but it is ALLLLLL for PROMOTION as he makes his way to E-8!!! so we will take that!! he soooo deserves all of that and MORE because he is one of the BEST EMPLOYEES the military has and that is not just a PROUD WIFE talking either!! :) he has gotten a lot of recognition from his superiors and we are really just soooo proud of him!!! and this year HE EARNED HIS 20 YEARS OF MILITARY SERVICE FOR OUR GREAT COUNTRY!!! wowowowowowow....what an ACCOMPLISHMENT!! again, so proud of him!! unfortunately, it is not ACTIVE years so we still have a little over 8 years left to reach 20 YEARS ACTIVE DUTY FULL RETIREMENT years!! and that is what he is working for....we PRAY that the US ARMY continue to keep him employed!! we are SOOOOOO BLESSED to be ACTIVE DUTY MILITARY!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!

AS FOR MEEEEEE....hmmmmmmm...it has been as always a BLESSED YEAR!!! this year, my pain in my arm had unfortunately gotten WORST...sooo bad that i couldn't even shake hands, play wii or any other activities that required me to use my right arm WITHOUT EXTREME PAIN!!! i had complained to my DOCTOR (dx TENNIS ELBOW (for the 5+ year), i had complained to my rheumitologist also and gotten a STEROID SHOT and told it was TENNIS ELBOY (for the 2+ year) and put BACK into PHYSICAL THERAPY (JAN 2012)...and during my evaluation the physical therapist found a BALL on my forearm and told me that that didn't feel right and i needed to get an MRI....and what a LIFE SAVER THAT WAS!!! :) because, after FINALLY getting an MRI (IN APRIL), it was found that i had a TUMOR and was IMMEDIATELY s (within 4 days) was being seen at the ORTHOPEDIC ONCOLOGY DEPARTMENT AT SAMMC!!! :( yep, they didn't know what type of tumor but they felt that it COULD BE CANCER....and ultimately IT WAS SYNOVIAL SARCOMA===CANCER....i really never thought i would ever have that DX but there it was....and the doctor was concerned enough that he needed it out NOW....so on JULY 31ST, 2012, it was roomed and thru the GRACE OF GOD, because of HIS BLESSINGS, they were able to get the WHOLE THING OUT due to the MIRACLE that it was ENCAPSULATED so i didn't have to have CHEMOTHERAPY/RADIATION!!! PRAISE GOD! but now, i have to have PET SCANS every 3 months and see the doctor ever 3 months for 2 years and then move on 2 twice a year for 3 years then yearly for the rest of my life!! :( and now i know WHY we could not get PREGNANT again even when it was timed right on etc....GOD HAD OTHER PLANS!! :) so, again, BLESSING BLESSING BLESSINGS!!! other than that, just a regular crazy, DAZED YEAR!!!

AND FOR THIS YEAR, 2013 my word(s) of the year would be FAITH/BLESSED....WHY 2? BECAUSE I HAVE FAITH, I AM BLESSED.....I AM BLESSED TO HAVE FAITH!! GOD will be utmost in my life and MY FAITH will be front and center. i pray i will learn more about GOD, learn more ABOUT MY FAITH and just get closer to that which has LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY, that has BLESSED ME AND MY FAMILY, that who has GIVEN ME SO MANY REASONS TO BE HAPPY!!!!! and that would be GOD! i am going to devote this year and ALWAYS to learning more about GOD and about my faith....I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM!!!

sooooo, that is it....2012 is gone and 2013 is here...i will plan to make this year a BLESSED year and a YEAR OF FAITH....this year will GOD WILLING bring a new blessing in my brothers life.....a BABY!!!! and we will GOD WILLING be going to see her and my family and i will be traveling to HAWAII IN MAY!!! WOOOHOOOO!!! yes, all 5 of us!! wowowowowow....we will keep trucking along and just enjoying life, loving my family!!!

GOD'S BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE AND FOR THE YEAR TO COME!!!! love ya'll!!!