WELCOME TO HOLLAND...POEM...

my friends and i were talkinga bout this poem...it was brought to my attention when i FIRST had MATTHEW and found out what a SPECIAL guy he was....when i first read it it was sucha BEAUTIFUL poem and one that said, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM FEELING/GOING THRU!! so, i decided to post it on this blog so other might read it if they have never done so and maybe find comfort in it!! TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS...

Welcome To Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a
disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience
to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation
trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.
The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn
some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your
bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess
comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm
supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and
there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,
disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a
different
place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have
met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than
Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you
look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and
Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all
bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I
had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the
loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to
Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things
...
about Holland

-------------THIS IS THE FOLLOW UP ON THAT POEM-------------------------------

Celebrating Holland - I'm Home

I have been in Holland for a while now. It has become home. I have had time
to catch my breath, to settle in and adjust, and to accept this different trip
than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years when I first landed in Holland and remember
clearly my shock, my fear, my anger. In those first few years, I tried to
get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can
say how far I have come on this unexpected journey, how much I have learned
about Holland. But it has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language, and I
slowly found my way around in Holland. I met others whose plans had changed like
mine and who could share my experience. Some of these fellow travellers had been
in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way.
Many have encouraged me and have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and
gifts to behold in this new land. We supported one another, some have become
very special friends, and I have discovered a community of caring. Holland
isn't so bad.

I think that Holland is used to wayward travellers like me and has become a
land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, assist, and support newcomers.
Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed
in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as
rewarding?W ould I have learned the important lessons I benefit from today?

Sure, this journey has been challenging and at times I would (and still do)
stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is
slower paced and less flashy that Italy, but this, too, has been an
unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down and look closer at things, with a new
appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland. I have discovered that it
doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of
your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special things that Holland has
to offer. I have come to love Holland and call it home.

Yes, I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this
destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

JAMES IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU GOD, he is HOME HOME HOME!!!!!! YIIIIPPPEEEEEEEEEEE!!! FINALLY, the post that i have wanted to write is here.....he is HOME HOME HOME!!! (can you tell i am EXCITED?) HEHEHEHEHEHE...this is just the BEST DAY in a LONG TIME...we got the news LATE AFTERNOON that he would be able to come home....it was kinda crazy because unitl about 3pm he was not sure if he could be home TODAY or tomorrow!! AND the last plane left at 5pm!!! so, he got his ticket, and literally RAN to get his stuff and find a RIDE to the airport and MAKE it to his flight!!! one guy didn't make it and thru james, was able to rebook a later flight...it was CRAZY!! soooo, he came in at 1030pm and we were waiting in the CELL PHONE LOT and 2 out 3 kiddos were awake to greet him in the car when we picked him up!!! and that would be our PARTY ANIMAL MATTHEW!! yep, he was WIDE AWAKE!! such a cutie!! and all he wanted to do was give daddy hugs but man, if you have not been in that area where you pick up people at the airport, MAN IT IS CRAZY!!! there was a TRAFFIC JAM and we were FINALLY able to get him and GET OUT!! CRAZY! but he is HOME HOME HOME!!! :) as far as i know, he will be OFF for at LEAST 30 DAYS!!! and we are making PLANS for a RV VACATION for at least 2 of those weeks and we are sooooooo happy and excited about that! that is something that we have been looking forward to and talking about now since DAY ONE of his DEPLOYMENT!! really, that was something that we CLUNG TO, DREAMED and PLANNED and THOUGHT OF during our year apart!Soooo......YYYYIIIIPPPPPEEEEEEE!!!!!

there was something else that i thought of was that joshua has only seen daddy for TWENTY-NINE DAYS out of his 10 months of life!!! amazing...and sad!! but we are going to change that......daddy scared joshua when he woke up in the car and saw daddy kissing on him....awww...

AND on a SIDE NOTE, matthew will be going to have an ANGIO CT done on JULY 2nd...any thoughts and prayers for him would be GREATLY appreciated!!!

anyway, THANK YOU ALL for all the LOVE, PRAYERS AND SUPPORT this last year!! we are SO BLESSED to have people there for us during this whole year!! thank you as ALWAYS! this year has been an EXPERIENCE that was DEFINETLY a time of GROWTH and of just learning to trust in GOD for everything.....we have grown closer as a family as the days and months passed us by....we relied on each other for SUPPORT and LOVE because we knew that THAT was what was going to keep us STRONG....it was hard to be a way from each other, we knew that THRU GOD, all would be well and we would JOYFULLY WAIT for the day that we could be back together as a FAMILY....and here we ARE!! WE MADE IT!! what seemed so long ago may/june 2007 when the day that we DREADED when we found out that he would be deployed and KNOWING that he would be gone for SO LONG.....and now we have gone thru a YEAR of GROWTH with the addition to our family with joshua and just the growing of our boys matthew and alex....what a STORY we tell our children.....something they will never forget...AND NOW we will learn to be together again, enjoy EVERY SECOND we have together and just remember how LONG we had not been together and just CHERISH and HOLD each other close because we KNOW how it felt to be apart...we are just so PROUD of our HERO JAMES...THANK YOU GOD for bringing him home SAFETLY....

SOOOOO THE NEWS IS....HE IS HOME HOME HOME, THANK YOU GOD!!! and if you have not had a chance to visit his montage, here is the LINK to it:

A Year Without Daddy....Deployment.

WOW...matthew...SZ MEDS...

is being taken OFF of one of his SZ MEDS!!!! WOWOWOWOWOW....he is being weaned off of his TRILEPTAL which he has been on for at least 2 years?! or longer...WOOOOHOOO!! so now, GOD WILLING, he will only be on 3 sz meds!! this is important because that will help him WAKE UP mentally because all those sz meds surpress his brain to help stop the sz!! soo, what does this mean? it MIGHT mean that he will start to progress developmentally now without this med....wowowow..we are really happy and excited....dr hopes to have down to TWO meds by the end of the YEAR!! that would be GREAT!! it is kinda scary because you don't know if this will start the sz again but all we can do is PRAY!! we are going down one ML a week until july 17th when he SHOULD be off of his med...please pray that he does well in this and the sz don't start up again!! and of course that he starts progress too!!

thanks sooo much....

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY...montage of deployment!

hello everyone...

we hope everyone is doing GREAT!!! as for us, we are doing just fine...we are ANXIOUSLY awaiting james coming home from BNCOC out in LOUISIANA!!! ! yep, he will GOD WILLING be home MAYBE next weekend!! we did spend an AWESOME 11 days together before he had to go back and we crammed AS MUCH as we could in that time!!! it was pretty awesome to have him here!!

well, we wanted to wish all the FATHER'S out there HAPPY FATHER'S DAY from our family to yours! james will be missing yet ANOTHER fathers day so we will end up celebrating when he get's home, GOD WILLING! SOON!!

SO, for fathers day, i made a picture MONTAGE of james year of deployment! i hope ya'll will go check it out! here is the link to the video:

A Year Without Daddy....Deployment.

welllll, since i am already bothering ya'll, i might as well give a LITTLE update on our family!! i promise it won't be THAT long!! heheheheh

ok, start off with alex, he is doing GREAT!! he is almost 6 years old and he is such a SMARTIE! i am constantly AMAZED at his ablity to pick everything up!! he LOVES to read and he LOVES to learn stuff...one day, i decided to teach him his days of the week, and i asked him if he knew them, and he just SAID THEM!! so i said, ooookkkkk, let's learn the months of the year....AND AGAIN, he just started to say them!!! i hadn't got to that YET and he already KNEW THEM!!! and then we started to do the STATES and we used this online map activity and by then end of the day, he knew ALL the states and where they went on a BLANK MAP!! :) anyway, i am excited about getting him started on 1st grade now...i know he will do soooo well!! THANK YOU GOD!

then onto MATTHEW...hmmm. ..what can i say except....HE IS STILL SICK OVER A YEAR LATER!!!! can you believe it? i can't....it is so fustrating to hear him junky and yucky!! i don't know if we should just ACCEPT that this is his normal now?! i don't know what ELSE to think?! he has been on ANTIBIOTICS for almost a year and for over 3 months SOLID....he has also went thru 2 rounds of oral steroids in less than a MONTH!! that's a LOT......we just can't clear him UP!! why? any prayers on this would be GREATLY appreciated! ! we have been in and out of his pulmonologist office...we also went to the CARDIOLOGIST this month and she said she was in AWE on how he looks!! she was concerned that because of his congestion, that MAYBE it had to do with his HEART and not his lungs....that got me worried...but she said that his ECHO looked good...we are going to have an ANGIO CT done on 7/2/08 under sedation to see what the anatomy of his heart looks like....so PLEASE any good thoughts on that would be appreciated! we also found out WHICH tapvr he had and it was TAPVR INFRADIAPHRAGMATIC, which is the WORST kind, just a little something we found out about...well, over all, he is doing GREAT!! he is pulling up to STAND and also CRUISING...he is also eating more when he is NOT too sick....but he impressed james by pointing out letters and numbers, colors and objects!! awww...he is such a CUTIE!!! we are just so proud of him and now he is FOUR.....AMAZING! !

and then there was little JOSHUA...wow, he is almost 10 months OLD!! and he is CRAWLING ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! yes, he started crawling right before james came HOME! and he is GOOD!! i don't remember alex getting into as much stuff as this little guy is! he is also putting EVERYTHING in his MOUTH!!! YIKES!! even if i sweep and mop, he will find that ONE piece that i missed and put it in his MOUTH!! he is something ELSE! and he is ALL over the place...it is so cute to watch! and WATCH i do!! he is eating baby food now and also just started on the CHERIEOS!! and he loves them! he is also wanting EVERYTHING that someone has! and he is VERY stuborn when he wants something and you take him away from it by putting him in another room, he will IMMEDIATELY crawl back over there as FAST as he can! and he looks like he wants to start pulling to stand...so WATCH OUT! I am just GLAD that all our gates and stuff are still up!! he already took a tumble out the back door when brother decided he wanted him to join us outside!! and he got pretty banged up from it...:( anyway, too cute!

james is doing fine..he is VERY TIRED because his school has been pretty TOUGH!! he has really been working HARD and LONG...he said ALMOST as bad as bucca!! he get's up at 4am and doesn't finish class until 7pm and then he has TONS of homework.... but he is doing fine...he is not to far away in louisiana... we are just PRAYING for the day he can come HOME!!!

as for me, well, i am doing fine...i am TIRED and ready for james to come home for good! i told him that once he is home, i can finally go to the drs and get my arm checked out, my fibro looked at to get it under control (i hope) and then...drum roll please....MY BRACES PUT ON!! yes, i will be metal mouth for about 2 years...i sure don't WANT them but i don't get a choice...YIKES! ! i know i will not enjoy the next 2 years...i just hope i can handle the PAIN along with the pain from my FIBRO!!! i don't know! i am kinda nervous about it! i wanted to wait until james came home because i didn't want to SCARE HIM OFF!!

oookkkk, not toooo bad, right? i dont' think it was THAT long...i could do WORST! :) don't forget to visit our BLOG (www.blessingsinmyli fe.blogspot. com) for some pictures.... ANYWAY, i hope everyone has a GREAT weekend and father days! know that we think of all our FAMILY and FRIENDS all the time!! take care and GOD BLESS

ok...had to share with ya'll....

some awesome SHORT VIDEOS that a fellow soldier of james unit MADE while he was over there in IRAQ...they are just OUT THERE and i am just AMAZED at his imagination!! i know that you will LOVE THEM!!! they put such a SPIN on things!! ALL the soldiers that you see on the video are from my dh compound....you will see pictures of BUCCA and the surrounding area...but be warned, there is SOME foul language involved...not much but some....i know that you will enjoy them! please let me know what you think.... leave a comment on his MYSPACE thing so you can tell him too...his website is WWW.WALRUSFLIX.COM....i think he is very talented!!!

here is MY FAVORITE:
CAMP BUCCA ADVERTISMENT:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=34757716

AND MY SECOND FAVORITE:
EVERYWHERE:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=32536431

VACATION MCGREGOR:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=25837561

COLD SODA:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=34340475

OPERATION ESCAPE: (TONS OF SOLDIERS GOING HOME!) my dh comes out on this one..
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=34759825

TALES FROM THE SANDBOX: CARE PACKAGE
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=22561246

TALES FROM THE SANDBOX: ROCK MAIL
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=23142514


TALES FROMT HE SANDBOX: FORMATION
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=23071839

TALES FROM THE SANDBOX: RIOT
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=24726411

has it really been that long?!?

wow, i can't believe that it has been over 2 weeks since i posted ANYTHING to my BLOG?! WHERE has the time gone? well, so much has happened in these last 2 weeks....the most IMPORTANT thing and the BEST thing that has happened is that JAMES CAME BACK HOME!!!!!! yep, he made it into the united states on MATTHEWS BIRTHDAY!! that phone call was just the BEST!! and then after MUCH going around and around on whether he could come home or not HE WAS ABLE TO COME HOME FROM MEMORIAL DAY THRU THE 5TH OF JUNE!!! that was WONDERFUL to be able to be with him again! here is a picture from that day:


and of course, the first thing they did when they got home was WRESTLE TOGETHER! they talked about that EVERYTIME that they talked on the phone...that is one of their FAVORITE thing to do!! here is a picture of THAT!:



so, we kept a pretty busy schedule the whole time...it was really crazy because i had to keep the normal schedule of therapies and doctors appts because i was never sure if he would be coming in or not....so, needless to say, we were busy from that day ON! and then we were doing finally prep for the upcoming birthday bash for matthew! it was really crazy!! and then of course matthew was still SICK and on OXYGEN during this whole time....and then we got our VEHICLE...yes, we got a NEW CAR!! i am so happy for james...his truck was falling apart (almost 14 years old!) and he decided on a 2008 FORD EXPEDITION ( i know a gas guzzler) but we need a big vehicle because first, we have 3 CAR SEATS and one of them is a special needs one that is pretty wide, we also have the WHEELCHAIR STROLLER which JUST fits in the expedition, then we have to tow a 23 foot RV and our BOAT!! and this one is 4 wheel drive and has a TOWING PACKAGE included with is NICE!! and here is the picture of it with our 2004 expedition right next to it (a his and hers kinda thing!):




and then a quick picture of matthews birthday party...here is a picture of him munching on his BIRTHDAY CAKE..YUMMY!!:




so, james again left on the 5th back to el paso then onto LOUISIANA for BNCOC..he will be gone until AFTER the 19th...difference is that he is on US SOIL, and we get to talk all the time during his class!! poor guy is working his BUNS off! he says it is pretty tough..he is waking up at 4 am to do PT and then the have class until after 7pm and then they have all this HOMEWORK!!! he is pretty beat!!

anyway, we are REALLY EXCITED and PRAY that he gets his 30 days off so we can do some SERIOUS bonding and RVING!!! WWWOOOOOOHHHHOOOOO!!!

well, i must run..i will start to post normally now!! i actually have one more post right after this...pretty interesting stuff!