MAKE-A-WISH CALLED TODAY....

and WE ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!! they called to get the nurses name (who is on CLOUD 9 excited to be going) for the reservation at the resort!!! WOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!! and we are leaving on....you ready for this.... APRIL 18-24TH!!!!! wowowowowowowowowowowowowowow....i am NOT excited at all...ok, I AM!!! the boys are soooo happy and excited....we are watching the DVD video that they sent us about DISNEY WORLD and it is so awesome to see matthew looking at all the STUFF there....and of course ALEX is just so excited ..he is bouncing around everywhere!!! ok, SO AM I!!! anyway, we are way excited and are going to look up EVERYTHING so we can get an idea how it works...so if anyone out there has had a wish granted to disney world, PLEASE email me or let me know!! i want to get an idea of how it works...

some have asked why not WAIT, maybe until matthew is older, or joshua is...well, unfortunatly, with the US beign at war, i NEVER know when james might have to go back (which is a certainty) or when things can happen for matthew...i would rather go NOW than lay it up to chance....

anyway, it is a dream come true!! and our family is VERY BLESSED AND THANKFUL!

My Grandpa passed away....

this past wendsday....he was 94 years old!!! just amazing....today was the funeral and it was really a nice one and best of all, it was AMAZING seeing all my cousins that i had not seen in such a long time!! there are not very many of us...there are 11 of his grandkids (my cousins)....and today, there was NINE OF THEM!!!!!! the other 2 were out of states....but to have us all there was just AMAZING...we had such a wonderful time just chatting together at the WAKE..my one regret was that we did not get a group pic of all the cousins!! i know it would have been a sight to SEE....what was so funny/sad was that in the obituary, it stated that Grandpa had 9 great grandkids....i kept coming up one short and i FINALLY figured out WHY!!!! i have a cousin that lives pretty far away and she has a daughter and we have not spoken in over 3 years now and i guess because of that, i COMPLETELY forgot about that child!!! i think that is such a SAD thing....when i figured it out, i was just sad that because of something that happened 3 years ago between us, she has cut me out of her life and because of THAT, her daughter has just....been gone?! i don't know but i get soooooo sad because she was my best friend since we were in kinder and that we have not talked in over 3 years...well, i just think that that is soooo sad....i sat there and i had to look for pics of my grandpa for his funeral and i found so many pics of us together in happier times....i always think about her and james always listens when i talk about her....i PRAY that someday things will clear up and we can get back to just being FAMILY...i know that things may never be the same but i just pray that we could just talk or communicate or SOMETHING....time moves by SOOOOOO FAST....things change every second and you NEVER know what can happen...one day you are here and the next, GONE....life is too short for that...

anyway, all our cousins said that it is sad that we only get together now when there is a funeral or a wedding....i hope that can change....

FEBRUARY IS CONGENITAL HEART DEFECT MONTH..

i know i have really never posted anything about this, which is OOOOHHHH sooo bad of me...but as most of you know, my son MATTHEW ISAIAH was born with a CHD called TOTAL ANOMALOUS PULMONARY VENEOUS RETURN (TAPVR) and we have been SOOO BLESSED to have him in our lives....he is such a MIRACLE to us and if you have never heard the story, here is a video i made of him when he turned 4 years old...


MATTHEW ISAIAH is 4!

well, there are so many organizations that are out there and some have FINALLY made it here to san antonio....there is one called MENDED LITTLE HEARTS and then another one called IT'S MY HEART...well, i just wanted to bring to your attention that the organization that i am a part of, they are selling HEART CARDS and they are pretty cool....i found this on another bloggers post and when i went to the site i just HAD to buy me some! so i thought i would pass along this to you!! here is the link...HEART CARDS VERY NICE CARDS!! i can't wait to get them in!!!

this heart mommy also had a BEAUTIFUL PRAYER that was called PRAYER FOR MY CHILD and if you would like to read it, you can find it HERE...

OK, TO everyone out there, family, friends, HEART FAMILIES, this month and EVERY month, may this find you being BLESSED with one more second with your children...i know as a heart mommy that having such SPECIAL BLESSINGS in our lives is such a JOY and i am so THANKFUL that GOD has blessed me with him....all our children are such blessings.....

i leave you with one of my FAVORITE poems/story...ENJOY...GOD BLESSINGS TO ALL...

Welcome To Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a
disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience
to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation
trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.
The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn
some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your
bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess
comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm
supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and
there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,
disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a
different
place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have
met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than
Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you
look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and
Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all
bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I
had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the
loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to
Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things
...
about Holland

-------------THIS IS THE FOLLOW UP ON THAT POEM-------------------------------

CELEBRATING HOLLAND--I'M HOME

I have been in Holland for a while now. It has become home. I have had time
to catch my breath, to settle in and adjust, and to accept this different trip
than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years when I first landed in Holland and remember
clearly my shock, my fear, my anger. In those first few years, I tried to
get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can
say how far I have come on this unexpected journey, how much I have learned
about Holland. But it has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language, and I
slowly found my way around in Holland. I met others whose plans had changed like
mine and who could share my experience. Some of these fellow travellers had been
in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way.
Many have encouraged me and have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and
gifts to behold in this new land. We supported one another, some have become
very special friends, and I have discovered a community of caring. Holland
isn't so bad.

I think that Holland is used to wayward travellers like me and has become a
land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, assist, and support newcomers.
Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed
in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as
rewarding?W ould I have learned the important lessons I benefit from today?

Sure, this journey has been challenging and at times I would (and still do)
stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is
slower paced and less flashy that Italy, but this, too, has been an
unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down and look closer at things, with a new
appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland. I have discovered that it
doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of
your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special things that Holland has
to offer. I have come to love Holland and call it home.

Yes, I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this
destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

ONE YEAR TODAY....

OK...wowowowow....THANK YOU GOD because as of this afternoon, it has been ONE YEAR that matthew has been SEIZURE FREE!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU GOD!!! it is sooooo amazing to me that we have had NONE!!! i won't lie to you and say that i don't check him ALL THE TIME to see if he is having a sz but NOTHING!!! what has done it?? well, a year ago, KEPRA was introduced into his sz med cocktail...he was taken off ZONEGRAM and put on TOPOMAX, and then he kept his usual TRILEPTAL & KLONOPIN and the dr tried KEPRA because he was STILL having sz....after a couple of months of no sz, TRILEPTAL was taken off in JULY and then after a couple of more months no sz, KLONOPIN was taken off in dec 2008!!! so, now we are on TWO sz meds...KEPRA & TOPOMAX!!!!! WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWW....i am just so happy for him!! we are still cautious about it but thank you LORD, nothing!!

soooo, HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, MATTHEW....for a SOLID year, the sz have been GONE!! and we give ALL GLORY to GOD!!!!! because thru HIM, this has happened!!!

SO, the days of being a human pacifer....

are OVER!! yes, he is 17 months old and WEANED!!!!! i can't believe that i DID IT!! 17 months of BF ....WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW....this is the longest time i have done with any of my kids and i am sooooo.....PROUD?! of myself?! he was soooo amazing and EASY to nurse...but after being BITTEN 3 times in a row and not gently...that was IT!! and i knew he was not nursing that much because i did not feel ANY discomfort not nursing for over 24 hours!!! YAYAYAYAYAY....he was ready..he only nursed at night anyway....so, now to help him to learn to sleep in his BED!!! that will happen soon...i am half way there!!!!

just another milestone....

12 YEARS TODAY....

my beautiful, wonderful hubby and i have been married for 12 YEARS TODAY!!! what a BLESSING it has been to have him in my life....i love this man SOOO MUCH and to just bask in his love is just such a BLESSING for me in my life...he is an AMAZING man, husband and father....when GOD brought him in my life, i knew true joy and love....he is just a blessing...

well, today we came home from our trip to CORPUS CHRISTI and we had a lovely weekend with family.....it was nice to get away as a family for a couple of days!!! we can't wait to go again in a couple of weeks...spending time as a family is just such a BLESSING and i love every minute of it!! THANK YOU GOD for my LIFE!!!

bad news for him....

but GOOD news for US!! :) JAMES just found out that his class, that he was going to have to be away the whole month of feb, was FULL so he had to cancel....sooo, we were all prepared for him to be away for a month but unfortunately for him, they were FULL!! it is not really great because he needs those classes for his E7 promotion ( which he JUST got the position for that slot!!)....sooo, now we have to wait until another one opens up....but i told him that there was a REASON for everything and something will open up at the EXACT TIME he needs to go!! so, now we get to GO TO CORPUS as a family AGAIN on the weekend of the 14th in our RV for a wedding...(we are going to be going this weekend for a bridal shower).and we get to go to THE RODEO this month too!! :) i was prepared for him to be away again but i am VERY happy he gets to stay HOME!!! he was going to be in NORTH CAROLINA somwhere...

anyway, the boys and i are happy and we are just SOOOO PEOUD OF HIM!!!!!!! he got a new position and he is really enjoying himself....YAYAYAYAYAYA...

results are IN....

well, we got the results for the SLEEP STUDY done in december and basically everything was ok BUT he did have MILD SLEEP APNEA....i was SHOCKED! he said that it only happened about once an hour...i asked him how he would know and he said that it happened during REM sleep and it would cause him to wake up briefly and fall back to sleep pretty quickly....sounds about RIGHT!! he does do that and that would make sense...since he already had his tonsil and adnoids out, then he said we would just continue to monitor him to see what happenes...

then onto the 24 HOUR HALTER MONITOR....we went to see the cardiologist on monday and she was VERY HAPPY with matthew!!!! YIPPEEE!!! it had been 6 months since we saw her and that was the longest we had been without seeing a cardiologist...she is really amazed that with all the drama he had and with him having had infradiaphragmatic TAPVR, which is the worst possible thing you can have with TAPVR...she is just AMAZED!! soooo am i ! she said that she did not have to do another ECHO because she was very pleased with the last 2 and that his VEINS ARE WIDE OPEN, THANK YOU GOD!!!! just a miracle!!! we are soooo happy! she did say that during the EKG they did that he had some PVC (Premature ventricular contraction) but just one in 12 seconds...she said that while she was listening to his heart that she heart a couple more BUT she said she was not worried...she EXCECTED to hear some ESPECIALLY since he had so much trauma to his heart! but we did a halter monitor anyway and she said that he looked great and that there were some there but not more that a couple an hour....and they were spaced apart so that she was not worried....she wants to see us in A YEAR!!! WWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! a YEAR!!! just amazing!! we are soooo happy!!!!

ANYWAY, we are just hanging out right now....enjoying spring in winter,...just BEAUTIFUL out here in texas!!!! love the WEATHER!!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! 2008 is gone...

AND BRING ON 2009!!! wowow, first, sorry i have not kept up as i SHOULD in my blog...the last days of the year were a bit CRAZY with trying to get everything ready for CHRISTMAS!! but we had so much FUN doing it! james was off for 17 plus days and we just made the MOST OF IT!! during that time, matthew got his NEW SET OF WHEELS!!! yep, he got his KID WALK walker!! oooohhh, i am sooo HAPPY WITH IT and he LOVES IT!! where before, he would shut down in his gait trainer....on the 2nd day we got it, he RAN!!! yes, you read right, he RAN...we were in our culdesac and we were playing TAG with him and he was chasing us and just LAUGHING...it was the BEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!! here is a small video of him when he first got the KID WALK at the therapy session:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB4DhfwvcNI

daddy was on the phone and i was TRYING to get him to walk in it!! you can say our little hippie josh running around in there!!! awwww...so proud of him!

well, on the 23rd, we remember that LAST YEAR (2007), he was arriving HOME at the airport to be with us for R&R!!! AWWWW....anyway, we had a WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS and the boys made out like BANDITS!!!! Santa dropped by and gave them some goodies!! the boys left the cookies, milk and carrots for them and in the morning, alex was sooo ready to GO!! Thier EYES when they saw all the goodies....awww....it was so funny when alex kept unwrapping gifts from SANTA for a WII game and he kept saying, 'i don't know what is wrong with santa! he keeps giving us this WII game!" and there were 4 of them and he was just sooo cute when he kept expressing his disbelief that he had got it all wrong!! sooo, i james andi kept playing along and the LAST gift he opened was THE WII from mom & dad and he was soooooooooo EXCITED!! he said, santa sure knows what ya'll got us!!" i just hope that we can continue the magic of Christmas for the boys!! it has been soooo much FUN!! you never know how much fun it is until you are a parent!!! anyway, we had a DRAMA with joshua and matthew....santa had brought light sabers for alex and matthew but not for josh...well, he was NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT!!! here is the video of it!! tooo funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9Q88gRrP_A

i was laughing soooo hard thru it!!! santa ended up dropping one off later in the WEEK!! but oh, they were both soooo cute!!

and on Christmas day, we had a get together at the house and we had so much FUN! i loved it because it was low keyed and just special to have our family there. THANK YOU GOD it was just a WONDERFUL Christmas day!! and then on the 26th, we had more family over for a small BBQ....needless to say, after a total of 3 parties (we had one on new years eve), the 1st floor of my home had never been sooooo clean!! :) anyway, the first weekend of the year, we ended up just relaxing and going downtown to see the lights...it was really nice and we also had our neice with us.

soooo, 2009 is HERE!!! hard to believe that GOD WILLING...ALEX will turn 7!!! MATTHEW will turn 5!!! and JOSHUA will turn 2!!!!!1 oooooohhhh!!! i just PRAY to GOD that we see those milestones this year!! My husband is on his way to becoming an E7 this year....he applied for an E7 position and we just PRAY that he does get it....we are so PROUD OF HIM!!!

soooo, HAPPY 2009!!! we pray that everyone will be BLESSED, SAFE and HAPPY this year! We will continue to just pray for health and safetly for all!!

sleep study tonight....

for matthew...this is #4?? the new pulmonologist wants to make SURE that he does not have any sleep apnea anymore....aparently, the last place we went to a year ago ALWAYS says that everything is fine!! so he just wants to double check!!

james is going to have a ROUGH night tonight!! he will stay home with both alex and JOSHUA....did i mention that JOSHUA still nurses at night?!?!?! hehehehehehe....poor daddy! well, the only advice i could give hime is to remain CALM and to just offer him the sippy cup!!! he will be FINE but i can't wait for the morning to hear about it!!

as for me....well, can you say, LOOKING FORWARD TO IT?!?!?! come on, you have to admit that a night where i can LAY on my STOMACH or my BACK and not have a child attatched (i call myself a human pacifier) is a night worth it?? i will be taking my book and my ipod and just RELAXING!! :) or so i hope!

anyway, any good thoughts or prayers will be appreciated!!

gggrrrrrrrrrr.....

you know, i just don't understand people.....last month, we had our truck broken into and had a lot of valuable things stolen and our glass broken etc....well, today, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT AGAIN, one of our SNOW GLOBES (inflateables) was stolen from the front of our home!!! just amazing...it had to happen this morning...WHY are people soooo evil?? it just makes no sense to me....and this thing was ANCORED DOWN by my husband by army stakes deep into the ground and they were still willing to pull it out...make noooo sense...when i got home from the dentist, and we noticed it was missing, i called james who was soooo upset about it...he put so much effort and love into the decorating of our home that for someone to steal it......anyway, the boys and i walked down our street making SURE that the wind had not carried it away or something ( a cold front moved in with high winds) but nothing...as we were walking, my beautiful boy said to me, "mommy, if those people wanted the snow globe, they should have just asked to borrow it, we would have let them..not steal it..that is just not nice!" awwww......

STREP THROAT....HUH??

WELL, it has been a CRAZY 4 weeks....we have enjoyed our thanksgiving with our husband & daddy this year....it made it soooo much more special having him here with us! it was a WONDERFUL DAY!!!!!

matthew got sick on us about a week before thanksgiving...just a head cold..nothing major....he got over that in a couple of days but then just last weekend (the weekend of thanksgiving) he caught something else....we did not go to the dr and just we just kept trucking along...this one, he had in his chest so we did TONS of nebs and suctioning....he also had wheezing and it was starting to affect his oxygen sats (this weekend he was on oxygen for sleeping and he was border line 90-92 while asleep) so i snuck him in on an appt for joshua (we are still having weight issues with him (19lbs at 15 months)) and he agreeded that he did have wheezing and a red throat and we would check with strep...he said i don't think it will show up because he is ALREADY on antibiotics...you can catch VIRUSES on antibiotics but not something like strep...or so we thought! it came back POSITIVE....that is VERY WORRISOME because if it is not working with OMNICEPH (his antibiotic) that is SCARY! a super bug?? so we are now also on AUGMENTIN for 10 days....i am really worried about it! he is going to cultur it and find out what happens...

please keep him in thought and prayer....i am worried......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!!!

YAYAYAYAYAYA!!! my husband is now 21 years old!! wooohoo!! he is now offically legal to drink!!! :) ok, so maybe he is not 21 years old, he is just a bit older but TODAY IS HIS BIRTHDAY!!! what a BLESSING we have in him! we are so thankful that he is in our life!!!!!!

unfortunatly, he is out of town for a couple of days but we will DEFINETLY be celebrating when he comes home!!

sooo, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY! we love you and can't wait to have you home with us again!!!

it's been 5 years...

since my mom has passed away. hard to believe that she is gone. my dh and i ALWAYS think about her and remember all the things that we did with her. i can STILL smell her around me sometimes. i know...but REALLY, at our home, sometimes, all of the sudden i will smell cigarette smoke in our home (where we don't smoke) or maybe one of her signature mexican meals. YUMMY! and as soon as i smell that, i will IMMEDIATELY think of her and REMEMBER...for me, i am sad that she didn't get to meet her other 2 grandchildren. she LOVED LOVED LOVED her grandson ALEX (she passed away when alex was 15-months old) and she KNEW i was pg with matthew....i believe that she met matthew when he was so very ill his first 5 days of life....i remember talking to her, when he was 5 days old and they had taken him off ECMO and they told us he was going to die, i talked to her and told her "mom, you can't have him yet!! i want to have him with me for a while FIRST!" ....i know she would have LOVED being with her 3 grandchildren if she was alive.....

anyway, it is 5 years ago today that she passed away and we miss her VERY MUCH! we think about her all the time and we HOPE we are keeping her memory alive for our children....

MAN, what a weekend....

we had such WONDERFUL plans for this weekend....we were getting ready to go to AUSTIN to go with james for his military confrence....we LOVE going with daddy on these trips and me homeschooling allows us to be able to just GO when we want!! well, we were READY by thursday night to get going and we decided we were going to spend a wholde DAY friday just in austin!! we took 2 cars so that i could come home early on sunday (leave by 6am with the boys) so that alex would not miss a sunday school day...well, we get there about 12:30 pm, drop off the older 2004 vehicle RIGHT IN FRONT of the hotel....we left across the highway to the movies and we had some lunch and then drove back across the highway and as we turn to park next to our truck, i said, "james becareful with all that...." if you filled in the word with GLASS you are correct....in the less than 4 HOURS we were gone, they BROKE INTO OUR VEHICLE!!! they stole james TOOLS, some of them that we JUST replaced/bought, my beautiful SON'S RUGSACK that daddy had bought for him while he was over in iraq and about 15 of my sons treasured TRANSFORMERS were in there.....i am soooo ANGRY that someone evil person did this!!! they broke our window, took out the keyhole in the driver's side door, they dented our frame.....GGGGRRRRR.....now we have to pay $1000 deductiblev total for the repairs AND the property loss....but on the "bright" side, we still have our health AND we still have our CAR!!! and a funny thing, BOTH our computers laptops were in the car and they MISSED THEM!!! man, i am SOOOO NOT a happy camper. we ended up coming straight back home and my dh missed his confrence. and i am just PARANOID now...we went to garden ridge and i was terrified that someone was going to steal and break into our vehilcle!!! i have NEVER had that happened to me.....i feel so violated!!! :( so now, we have to file our claims, which i HATE to do but there was A LOT of equipment lost in our vehicle!! and our car had more than a $1000 worth of damange on it!!

anyway...