GREAT start to our week!!

well, they are here! who are "they"?!??! the NURSES!! yippeeee!! they started yesterday and our nurse was AWESOME and i am SOOOOO HAPPY with her!! she works from 7:30 am to 2:50 pm! :) and that is PERFECT! i still hope to get nightnursing over daytime but that will take some time! :) if we get a night nurse, i am hoping for 10p to 6 am or something like that...that would work out great!! :)

anyway, she got a trial by fire cause he was REALLY sick yesterday and she got to do a couple of treatments/suctioning/saw him wretch and need oxygen the WHOLE nine yards!! but she did GREAT!! i feel soooo comfy with her that i actually left while he was asleep and went to the walmart and bank....it was sad with out him...i missed him sooooo much!! :( when i got to the car with my cart, i actually tried to put the brakes on it!! (like on his stroller)...and when we got there, i actually opened up the back to take out his stroller!! you know you got it bad!! :)

anyway, all went well today! i am sooo happy!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING and all of that!!

i hope everyone had a GREAT thanksgiving week!!! we have been REALLY BUSY here at the family house!! it has been a bit crazy but ooohhh sooooo fun!!

we had thanksgiving here at our home...we were not sure if this would be the last time we would have it at our home! we are HOPING on moving somewhere that is one story but still not sure on james orders...that will all pan out! but it was nice. i cooked the turkey, made the gravy, mash pot, corn, and i can go on! it was really a QUIET and nice filled day! we did NOTHING after everyone left and just decided to sit on our new couch and watch the game while BOTH BOYS were asleep!!! that was nice! i took a snooze on my end of the couch! :)

friday, i kicked james out of bed to do some early am shopping (he was out by 5:30am) and we were just looking for ONE item that we felt was the BEST DEAL!! we were able to get it and we are SOOOOOOOO EXCITED!! :) and then we just spent the rest of the day out looking at the sells and buying some stuff here and there that were good bargains...OOOOHHHHH!! i also got a GREAT DEAL on a new phone!! i was kind of upset when i was up for renewal of my contract and i couldn't get the same price for a phone as if a NEW CUSTOMER would get sooooo...i called customer service and i talked to about it and the AGREED that i COULD get it for that price AND then they actually gave it to me fore $25 CHEAPER than i would have!! :) sooo, i got it for $29!! and i am SOOO HAPPY!! it has an MP3 player!! :) i should have some fun with it!

later that night, we drove up passed new braunfels to SANTA'S RANCH (www.santasranch.net) and drove thru the 1.5 mill LIGHT display!! very nice! i think it was about an mile long! very nice!!! we did one in FORT HOOD, tx and that was AWESOME!! THAT ONE TOOK US ABOUT AN HOUR to drive thru!! and that one took us next to the lake and everything....we are thinking of going back to that one for a weekend night! it would be nice to get away!! :)

today, we are just going to chill!! we are going to a couple of stores to look at some stuff but overall, we are just going to put up the ornaments on our tree...

i am going to post some pics of the boys!! :)

pictures!!!

MATTHEW AND HIS NEW BACKPACK for his feeding pump!! (and that is his TONGUE that we were FINALLY able to see!! he just learned to do that!)



ALEX AND HIS DOG "QUANTUM"


THE MEN IN MY LIFE!! :)


"hey THANKS mom, for my NEW TOY!!"

WELL IT IS DONE!!!!! :)

YESTERDAY, we were admitted into the nursing home at 10:30 pm...it was ok...we got there, laid him down (he was asleep) and then they assest him and took his vitals...james and i set up our dvd player and sat down for a couple of hours to watch "4O YEAR OLD VIRGIN" unrated edition and just chilled out...at 12:45 am we got up and started to put everything away and we put everything in the car and walked out at 1:05 am and that was IT!!! we DID IT and i am sooooo happy and excited!

what this means is that we will get MUCH NEEDED nursing care for matthew...it will also mean that if he needs something that our ins doesn't cover, it will cover it! and matthew will have medicaid FOR LIFE and it is only on HIS income!! what a BLESSING to know that our special needs child will have insurance ALWAYS!!! sooo, our nursing starts on monday and we will start having day time nurses for now until we can get the nighttime nursing!!! that is what we are REALLY wanting! and we just wanted them m-f so we can have the weekends for family time....

i am just happy to finally get some help....unless you have a SPECIAL NEEDS kiddo, NO ONE KNOWS how hard it CAN be and how much you actually do for your baby!! the nursing service was SHOCKED that we had not had nursing care up until now!!! i told them that you shoot yourself in the foot by being a good parent to your baby and doing everything right that when you NEED help they ask "WHY?!? you have been doing a great job so WHY do you need help now?!" and they just don't get it! it is hard on us SOMETIMES but you do your BEST for YOUR BABY and i don't regret anything but i am JUST SOOO HAPPY to finally get some help!

anyway, on the home front, we got some NEW FURNITURE from ROOMS TO GO and we are sooooo happy! we got THEATER SEATING sofa (brown leather with recliners on either end and the middle folds down for a cup holder) and we FINALLY got a mattress for me for my fibro...TEMPERA-PEDIC mattress.....AAAAAAHHHHHH...last night was the FIRST NIGHT we slept in it and it was HEAVEN not to sleep almost VERTICAL or on the sofa because of my back!! it was soooo nice to just lay FLAT and not have PAIN!!! :)WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW...HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!! we also got the no interest until jan 2011!! can't beat that!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMES!

today, james will be 21 years old!! i am sooooo happy for him!! :) ok, well, he is not actually going to be 21...he is only 18!!! ;) anyway, my hubby was born today A LONG TIME AGO and i am FOREVER thankful to GOD for bringing such a WONDERFUL man into the world....

my husband and best friend is such a BLESSING to our family...he is all about FAMILY and he just loves us as we love him! we couldn't imagine a time without him with us and we PRAY that time will NEVER come about.....i just pray for happiness for him and just always peace...he is such a GREAT PERSON and such a WONDERFUL FATHER AND HUSBAND........

we are going to have a BBQ today...james wanted to do a BRISKET, CHICKEN, RICE, BEANS and tortillas!! YUUMMYYY!! it is suppose to be a nice day too! soooo, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE!! AND MANY MANY MORE!!!!! WE LOVE YOU, DADDY!!!

WE GOT IT!!!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! we got the call this week that WE HAVE A DATE to take matthew to the NURSING HOME on nov 21st!!!!! what does that mean? it means that once we get there at 10:30pm to 2:00 am, he will AUTOMATICALLY qualify for MEDICAID and be in the MEDICALLY DEPENDENT CHILDRENS PROGRAM (MDCP)!! that is the program i had been talking about FOREVER!!! it takes a WHILE to get into the program and we had already been on the list since aug 2004 and we were still #4000+ and we were able to get thru because of the LOOP HOLE of RIDER 28!! soooo, we got the call and we are going in on TUESDAY!! :) GOD WILLING, matthew will then have MEDICAID for the REST OF HIS LIFE and that is a GOD SENT! this mcd waiver program only goes by HIS income not mine! and that means we will FINALLY HAVE THE MUCH NEEDED NURSING CARE!!!!! we will have to start with just days until we have our foot in the door and can find a NIGHT nurse!! we are qualified right now thru MDCP for only 14.5 hours BUT once we are in, we will qualify for CCP program and then we COULD have anther 30-50 hours! :) wowowowow...i can't imagine having a sound sleep!

last night, i was up with matthew fron 12am to 3:30 am off and on and this will only get WORST with the winter coming in!! i am just sooooooooo excited about the POSSIBILITY of it!!!! :)

soooo, any good thoughts for us on that day would be AWESOME!! i am just sooooo happy and excited!!

and, anyone in TEXAS that wants info on this waiver program, just email me!

a continuation of 5 POINT HARNEST...

on tuesday evening, the 10 oclock news here in san antonio, INTERVIEWED THE MOM who had done that video for her son!! apparently she lives here in san antonio and she had JUST done that video LAST WEEK!! it is just amazing!! here is the news cast report on her:

http://www2.mysanantonio.com/multimedia/video/NewsOnDemand/index.cfm?videos=41950

very interesting! they even interviewed a BABY R US salesperson and prior to her video going out, the carseat that held over 40 lbs forward seating (in harnest) was just doing moderate sales but NOW, it is hard to keep them on the SHELF! people are LISTENING!!! which was the WHOLE point of this video! she was just in disbelief that sooo many people had already seen the video and it had made it overseas! i think it is VERY IMPORTANT!!!

well, i just had to make one comment about something that came back from the email i originally sent out with this video....it ticked me off and TOLD me not to blog about this email, sooo OF COURSE i am going to blog about it!! :) i got an email that said

"after receiving this video it was not mistakenly wrong, inhuman and detestation. If you feel that people need to see this type of information, then so be it. I cannot believe you sent something out like this. You must be callous to send such information to a group of individuals that would support some anesthetized thought.

I am deeply saddened to have received such an email from you. If you have a question as to why I would respond to this, please tell me? If you do not have a statement then, please do not blog about this as you did about the statement said previously before about concerns with the Houston incident."

anyway, apart from not having the correct GRAMMAR and just not making ANY sense, this person was just WRONG!! i couldn't BELIEVE that this person thought that the video was "inhuman" ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! and this person has KIDS!! i guess maybe guilty thoughts? anyway, i did respond IN KIND via email to this person because i was just SOOOOO UPSET about the email that was sent!! anyway, i just thought i would BLOG about it since i was TOLD NOT TOO!! :)

MY MOM....

it's hard to believe but THREE YEARS AGO today, my mom was taken from us...she was only 61 years young....i sit here today remember the week leading up to her passing. i can recall it ALL like it was just yesterday.

you see, my mom had started feeling a bit ill for a while now....i had been trying to get her to see a dr and finally she agreed the weekend before to go to the drs...well, she never made it...you see, on monday, nov 10, she was taken to the hospital by ambulance because she was becoming VERY DISORIENTED and couldn't even walk. they took her to the ER....i remember going over there and i had alex, who was only a little over a year old, and waiting with my aunt and uncle. my mom kept asking for alex, her only grandchild at the time, but i was told i couldn't bring the baby back there....i will FOREVER regret not taking him in there regardless of what the staff was telling me....she just kept asking over and over for him cause she KNEW he was just outside the ER doors....well, during that time there in the ER, she told me she had asked the nurse for a DNR order...i also asked for one cause she was just ADAMENT about having one...they said the were getting one....found out, they never ended up getting one signed for her...

well, she was sent up to the CICU due to her low blood pressure...i went to visit her on tuesday after an appt with the OB/GYN (i was just 9 weeks pg with matthew at the time) and when i got there, the nurse asked me "does she normally sleep this much?" apparently, she had been sleeping continuously the whole time since the day previous....when i tried talking to her, she was very very tired and really didn't answer me at all.....sooo, i sat with her for a bit before i had to leave to get alex from the sitter....well, that was THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO HER....the next day, wed, i got a call to tell me i needed to get over the ASAP because my mom went into respiratory distress and was on full life support and they just didn't know what was going on and if they could keep her alive....well, she was in a COMA and would remain that way until the end....and when i asked about the DNR, the nurse was shocked and sadden that it had never been completed in the ER like it should of and if it had, she would NEVER had been on LIFE SUPPORT, something she told me she NEVER wanted to be on....so, she asked me what i wanted to do...i told her i would sign one for her and we would keep her until her son could come home from germany to be with her...well, during those days before my brother got there, we were with her all day...i asked the nurse if i could place her earphone on her and let her hear her CD (she LOVED her cd collection and listen to her all the time) she told me it was ok...so i popped the headphones on her and played one of her favorites "AMAZING GRACE" cd by the country artist....she started to cry...i will never forget that look on her face when i put her music on her...she was in a COMA and had not spoken or open her eyes but when i put her gospel music on for her, she started to cry....i am crying right now remembering that momemt....so, from that momemt on, i asked the nurses to PLEASE keep the music going for her and to change the CD for her (she loved gospel, opera & soul music...JOSH GROBAN & Andrea Bocelli will FOREVER have a special place in my heart...) anyway, it was wonderful to see so many family and friends come by the hospital to see her....she also had SEVERAL priest come by to give her LAST RITES...i am not kidding, she must have had then at least 3 or 4 times by different priest that had been friends with her...it was very moving...and then after my brother came and spent his time with her and then on NOV 15th, 2003, we gathered together with her one last time...all her brothers, sisters, family and friends where there in her room...we had a prayer service with her in her room...we all said "good bye" to her....and they disconnected her on NOV 15, 2003 @ 6:30 pm...she passed away within minutes of being disconnected....

i miss her sooooo much and think about her ALL THE TIME. alex, will sometimes tell me stuff like "grandma Eunice said...." or "this is for Grandma Eunice..." so i KNOW she is around her grandbabies all the time. he will also say stuff like "grandma Eunice gave me this?" and it will be a toy she had given him...we never let him or matthew forget that they have a GRANDMA in heaven that is looking over them....when we get a hellium ballon from whereever we are (a store, party) he will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS want to let it go when we get outside and he says, "this is for grandma eunice..." and he will let it go and say "i love you grandma & miss you" as he lets it go! he has pretty much NEVER kept a balloon...he lets them all go for his "grandma eunice" he also made a comment recently and asked if went to heaven, would grandma eunice have all his balloons up there waiting? WOWOWOWOW... of course we said, "yes"

so, today, my mom, my friend has been gone for 3 years...hard to believe it sometimes. i still can feel her around me all the time. whenever we go on trips as a family, james and i will IMMEDIATLEY start talking about her and how much she would have LOVED going with us. we use to take her whenever we went on trips...the coast especially! she loved to travel with us and she LOVED to just be out and about. i am sad that she did not get to be with her grandchildren that she LOVED SOOOO MUCH and that she never got to meet matthew.....bu i KNOW she is watching them from heaven and probably saying something like, "see chayo, i remember when you...."

I MISS YOU, MOM!!! I LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER FORGET THE SPECIAL WOMAN YOU WERE...i hope you are happy with the way i have turned out in life...you had a hand in it ALL THE WAY...THANK YOU FOR BEING MY MOM...you still inspire me to this day and i always try to remember what you have taught me....

EUNICE
MOTHER & GRANDMA
FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS AND IN OUR LIVES
SEPT 23, 1942 to NOV 15, 2003
REST IN PEACE...

pictures of my mom...

enjoying the parade...she LOVED to go there!!! this year she went with us and her grandbaby...



her and her grandbaby..



my mom and her brothers and sisters...


mom at CANYON LAKE with us..she was making a STAFF from this big branch!!


on her last birthday with us...she and alex...(she was sneaking bites of cake to him!)

A LOVE STORY.....

today, james and i were brought together by God 12 years ago! and it was the BEGINING of a LOVE STORY!! i don't know if people know the story of james and i but it was TRUELY guided by GOD thru destiny.....it is a story of 2 people that were just MEANT to be together......here it is...my story...

My own love story started back on nov 12, 1994,,,,TWELVE YEARS AGO! It has been an AMAZING 12 years of my life!

So let me start MY side of the story by telling you a bit of background…..the year of 1994, was a ROUGH year. I was in an abusive relationship and have had a HARD TIME getting out of it…..you know, being SCARED to…anyway, I FINALLY got brave enough to break it off and it was one of the most AWESOME feelings in my life!!! Honesetly, to FINALLY call it quits out of a relationship that had RULED YOUR LIFE for more than 3 years……THANK GOD I finally got the courage to do it! Soooo, I swore I would NOT get involved with any man until AFTER I had graduated from college. I was going to do loads of studying and just enjoylife for a bit and just BREATH EASY!!

Soooo, a couple of months went by and I got a call out of the BLUE from a cousin of mine. She and I usually only talk whenever there are holidays going on or special occations. She has always been one of my favorite cousin and we always get along GREAT whenever we meet up! So, she calls me up on Monday 7th of November and asks me how things are etc. so we sit there and chat for a while and then she invites me to this party she is having at her house on the 12th of November for the novemeber birthday parties. Aparently, she and 2 of her brothers plus a good friend of theirs, all have birthdays in November and where going to have a party that day…I had already started to make my excuses and she was like, “come on, chayo (that’s what my family calls me), it will be fun!!” I told her honestly that she needed to tell me to BRING something so that I HAD to go! You see, I am VERY SHY and an introvert and I just KNEW I would end up backing out of it and not going if she didn’t have me bring something…so she did. Well, I will NEVER forget that Saturday 12th because I look back and think about how funny things had happen. First, I couldn’t get any of my buddies to come with me! They all had previous engagments, so now I HAD to go by myself and I was TERRIFIED!! My mom was funny because I had gotten dressed and was ready and I was just sitting there watching TV procrastinating….she was like, “chayo, just GO already! Just go, say hello, stay for about 30 mins and then come home! But you HAVE to go, since you already said you would!” so I FINALLY agreed and said that I would go and stay for a max of 30 mins and come home. So off I went! Well, I get to her street and REALLY STARTED TO PANIC!! When she told me it was a party, I honestly thought it was going to be a small HOUSE party, ok, 2 blocks going in, there are cars up and down her street LINED UP and when I get there, there is a DJ, tons of people everywhere and I just about TURNED AROUND RIGHT THEN AND THERE!! I was like, “what did I get myself into?!?!!” so, I told myself if I didn’t find a parking spot, I would just head on home and wouldn’t you know it, there was one just big enough for my little bitty GEO TRACKER and it was RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE!! SO, I pull up to a parking space and got out of my car with my knees literatly shaking!! It actually took me a BIT to finally get out of that car! I walk up the drive way and there are group of people EVERYWHERE and no one I recognize. I can say I was TRULY nervouse by then! So, right when I am thinking of going inside, I hear, “CHAYO!!” and I turn around and my cousin is walking towards me with open arms and she is with this guy! (james later told me that HE was the one that pointed me out to her...HE asked her "who is that girl?!") She was like, ”you came!” well, she lets me go and then I feel someone putting their arm around my shoulder and I look up and the guy she was with says, “hola, I am you cousin too.” And I said, “huh, NO!” and thinking to myself, who IS this georgous guy? And my cousin says, “chayo, this is joey (her brother) best friend, JAMES”….I was like, wowowowow!! Of course, I figured that he MUST have a girlfriend, wife ETC because he was just tooooo cute not to have one! So I kinda just turned away……(Now, here is where james will tell you if you ask him that I just BLEW HIM OFF for the rest of the evening. He will also point out that I “threw him to the dogs”) well, the rest of the night, james kept following me!! I was VERY flattered that he seemed to be following me but also I was in disbelief that he COULD be following me!! Everywhere I went, he showed up right beside me! He finally asked me to dance and we did and that was basically the point where I said, “this is NOT my over-active romatic imagination!!” so, we danced and talk the rest of the night. Well, what happen next TOTALLY did me in. we left together with a friend down the street to get some more drinks….well, james had just told me that he had JUST bought his F150 truck 2 days before and he was SOOO PROUD OF IT! Well, we get to the store and he goes and gets whatever it was he needed. Well, when he come back, I had forgotten that I had put a LARGE glass of tropical trash can punch on the dash and when he reversed, IT ALL FELL ON ME AND HIS BRAND NEW TRUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was HORRIFIED and just a wreck!! I could NOT BELIEVE that had JUST HAPPEN! I started panicking and crying and just saying OVER AND OVER how sorry I was and that I was going to get it cleaned and I would pay for it etc…I was honestly PETRIFIED since I had just gotten out of a horrible relationship and I just didn’t know what he would do! All he kept saying was, “hey, it’s just a truck! Don’t worry about it, it will clean up!” of course, I couldn’t BELIEVE he wasn’t yelling at me or worst, hitting me or SOMETHING…showing anger or something….When we got to the house again, I told him that I would pay for the cleaning of his truck and that I was sooooooo sorry and that I was going to go ahead and leave cause I was so embarrased and mad at myself and he said………”DON’T LEAVE! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE, I JUST MET YOU AND I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER!” and that ladies and gentlemen was the EXACT MOMENT it happened for me, “I WAS IN LOVE!” honestly, this guy, who I had just met, was just my knight in shining armor, my prince, my everything!! I had already felt like the most special woman in the world by his attention to me but for him not to HURT ME and not to just FREAK OU ON ME for the damage I did to his BRAND NEW TRUCK…..wowowowowow….right then and there I knew that GOD had shown me that there are REAL MEN in this world out there! And that I had just been shown MY MAN! Needless to say, he conviced me to stay around and what orignally should have been a 30 min stay at a party, ended up being a going home at 3 am!!!:) I trusted this man that I had JUST MET that day with my LIFE! We ended up going to another party at one of his friends house. You have to understand that I am VERY CAUTIOUS and VERY SHY so for me to have put TOTAL TRUST in him when he asked me if I wanted to go to another party and me say “yes” you KNOW that I trusted him COMPLETELY! We went to this party at a friends house and everyone there was really nice to me and they also commented on how HAPPY james looked (that is a whole OTHER story!)! They could just SEE that something special had happened to us! They couldn’t believe that we had JUST MET! anyway, as he took me back to my car a new song came out by GEORGE STRAIT called THE BIG ONE and we both looked at each other and he said, THIS IS MY SONG FOR YOU! WOW! so we made a date for the following weekend. You see, he was ACTIVE DUTY MILTIARY and was stationed in FORT HOOD, TEXAS!! I was just soooo happy to have met him! And the next morning, he CALLED ME!! And since that time, we have been TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER!

the reason i KNOW that GOD had his hand in our lives and our meeting is that for one, my cousin OUT OF THE BLUE (we didn't hang around socially) called me and invited me to a party and that I AGREED was a miracle in itself!! and then i was NOT LOOKING for anybody at that time AND i was TOTALLY afraid of men by then (abusive relationship) and then i meet james and feel like such a princess and just so in love so quickly! and even though in an embarrasing way (the drink) i was shown that "look, don't be afraid, this man is a GOOD MAN and he will NEVER HURT YOU" and that more than ANYTHING ELSE was clearer than ANYTHING! and then, i use to tell him that God brought us together to ease james hurt TOO! you see, that weekend was the LAST WEEKEND that james ever saw the little boy that was his son but not his son.....he NEVER saw him again....and we worked it out TOGETHER to get him thru it. James was also going thru a rough time with his life and we just blended together PERFECTLY, THANK YOU GOD!and to have been brought together with family (my family) & friends (his friends) was just PERFECT! his best friend joey is now his cousin!!! how awesome is that?! james and his mom later told me that when he got home that night, he told his mom that he found the woman he was going to marry! :) as soon as i find our FIRST picture together taken THAT DAY i will post it!!

soooooo, today i say, "THANK YOU GOD FOR BRINGING US TOGETHER IN FRONT OF OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS! THEY BARE WITNESS TO OUR LOVE AND OUR DEVOTION TO EACH OTHER THAT DAY AND FOREVER! THANK YOU GOD FOR 12 HAPPY YEARS!!"

here are the words to our first song:

The Big One

Without a warning, you're outta control.
The ground shakes and the oceans roll-
This is the big one, there's no way to run.

On the Richter scale of romance
You hit twelve and you don't stand a chance.
This is the big one, I'm fallin' in love.

Chorus:
Now it's beat, beat, beat-
My heart's sending out a message.
Please, please, please don't save me tonight.
S.O.S. in this situation means she's outta site.
No need to panic I tell myself,
But I never felt this feeling with anybody else.
This is the big one I'm falling in love.

Repeat Chorus:

FIVE POINT HARNEST...

Watch this video and try not to cry !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgBhZfcqaQ

what is funny about this subject is that james and i have had this on our mind for a LONG TIME....you see, alex, who is already 40 lbs, technically can be using the lap/seat belt BUT BUT BUT i chose NOT to do that because i KNEW it was just TOTALLY unsafe!! i know that he is still too YOUNG to be just in that and tooo easy for him to slip out of it!!! soooo, he is still in the 5 POINT HARNEST and we are actually are in the market for a new carseat that has the capablilities for a 5 point harnest with bigger weight...there is ONE at BABY R US that can hold the kiddos up to 65 lbs and it is made by COSCO and it was just under $200...there are actually VESTS you can buy that are used with your seat belt!!

anyway, with matthew, we are getting ready to get one from the insurance (for obvious reasons) and his will hold him FORWARD FACING WITH HARNEST up to 105lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (it is by BRITAX traveler plus and you don't have to be special needs for this one but it is pricy) SOOOOOO they are OUT THERE so please, like this family knows, keep them in as long as you can!! there is NO SHAME in having them in their carseats for AS LONG AS YOU CAN!!! AND darn it, if they are embarrassed TOO BAD!! :)

anyway, here is a VERY good link on ALL TYPES of carseats that i have been studying (go down to the special area towards the bottom for some good ideas for carseats that go a bit higher with harnest):
http://www.car-safety.org/basics.html

AND a GREAT forum about carseats:
http://www.car-seat.org/index.php

they talk about ALL types of carseats!!!

anyway, love and give all your kids and love ones HUGS & KISSES and make sure you let them know you love them ALWAYS, because you NEVER know what can happen!! and if you forget just WATCH THAT VIDEO AGAIN to remind you
GOD BLESS...

MARIA

VIDEO OF JAMES FIRING THE ROCKETS...

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hola! james brought home the video of him shooting the rockets out of his vehicle. he is actually IN the vehicle and he is doing the shooting! i had to ask him exactly WHERE those rockets fell that they shot....he said they have a drop zone they were aiming for and that is where they fell...all they had to do is input the coordinates and push the button and off they go!!! CRAZY!! enjoy!

great weekend!

well, this weekend was kinda nice...it was just the boys and me andit was QUIET! we just cleaned up and went to a birthday party for my nephew and did some walmart shoping! that is ALWAYS an adventure with me pushing the stroller and pulling the shopping cart with alex inside!!! james was actually gone fri-sun. he was doing his MLRS training in FT HOOD, TEXAS....he was actaully really excited because he was able to SEE the MLRS (- Multiple Launch Rocket System) FIRE! he had only seen them in pictures....soooo, he was actually able to BE IN THE TANK THAT FIRED THEM!!! he was really excited and got some pictures of it! we will also be able to see the video that was taken! so here are some pictures of the launcher:



JAMES GETTING READY TO GO LAUNCH:



ROCKET FIRING! you can see the launcher on the ground and you can see the fire at the right hand corner of it as it takes off! (they were short range missiles)

thanks, seattle...

good to know you are there...& bekki, i know you understand the worry! :)

i just wanted to be clear that i totally understand that the if james has to leave due to his duty, then i would fully and totally support him! i would NEVER want him to give up the military when in fact it was a mutual decision for him to go active duty again. i actually feel very BLESSED that we are military! as for the home front, we would be sooooooo sad that he would have to go but we would support him and just let him know we are SOOOOO PROUD OF HIM! :) james has a duty that when called he must do.....whenever that may be!

i am glad that i am talking about this right now. i have had people ask me, "why did you go active duty military? are you nuts?!?!?!" you have to be aware that james was originally active duty army for 3 years about 11 years ago (he got out 5 months after i met him) and then has been texas army national guard SINCE then...a funny thing is also that if he had STAYED texas army national guard, EVERY unit he was with before he went ACTIVE GRUAD RESERVE (AGR) has either been sent up to iraq or is currently there right now! i think all his buddies in all his old units have already done a tour out there!! soo chances were good that he probably would have ALREADY been there if not being blessed in getting an AGR position!

james and i had been talking about going ACTIVE DUTY ARMY since we had alex. james was actaully totally against it because he said he did NOT want to be stuck in the uniform forever!! no kidding! that was his main concern!! silly man! he already did it one weekend a month & 2 weeks a year and that was enough for him! but what people are not aware of and don't know is that no where in the civilian world that i know of gives the benefits that the US MILTIARY does.....that became ESPECIALLY CLEAR when we were blessed with matthew. james had a state job that didn't pay the best and gave us benifits BUT we were paying a monthly premium of over $400 a MONTH and that is on top of copays for drs and medications and also a deductible we had to meet a year..so before matthew was born, we had already started to look at the pro's & con's of military life. i was actually ALL FOR IT and was the one that was really showing him what it offered (i know, reversed!) but i was thinking of my family. you see, in the military, our pay for a month basically was over THREE TIMES what we were making in the civilian world (and we didn't even figure THAT part of it until we got our FIRST paycheck!!)!! the military pays for your HOUSING & LIVING! what other employer PAYS FOR WHERE YOU LIVE? and gives you money for groceries and such? and gives you 30 paid vacation days a year (that you can accumulate) plus HOLIDAYS?and to top it alllll off, we don't have to pay A DIME for insurance, drs visits, & medications!! before we went military, we paid our deductible, and then each month, we were paying the over $400 + about an average of 6 drs visits at $40 a shot ($240) PLUS he had his meds at 7 a month at $25 each ($175)(& trust me, i thank GOD everyday that we HAD insurance because i KNOW there are people that DON'T have ANY insurance i can only imagine THAT! (his picu cost for JUST the room for the 98 days was OVER $800,000!! and that was just the ROOM!!) and of course that didn't include the day to day REGULAR living...when we look back on how we were making it, the only think i can say is that GOD WAS WITH US AND BLESSING US because how we made it work, I WILL NEVER KNOW!!
but anyway, there is also the retirement benefits that are the BEST too!!! that is what really made james think of it before we had matthew because in the civilian world, in the STATE job, he would retire at the age of 60+ and only get a FRACTION of what he would get military wise AND he would STILL have to pay for INSURANCE for the family and copays, deductibles ETC...in the MILITARY, you do your 20 years and get a % of your monthly base pay BUT your insurance is covered at 100% for you and your family (kids to 21 if in school)!!! who else but the military? that means that james can GOD WILLING retire from the military at age 51 with all of this a full 9+ years before he would in the civilian world! and then like he said, he can retire and work at BASS PRO SHOPS!! :) but really he wants to run his company FULL TIME then!!

but anyway, back to what i ORIGINALLY wanted to state....i am PROUD to be military and i always want to encourage other people to JOIN the military because they would get the BEST of THE BEST in the military!! alot of young people (i can say that i am 34 now! lol) don't realize what the "real" world is like...and you NEVER know what will happen! i would DEFIENTLY miss my hubby should he go BUT i would support him there and me and my kiddos would do JUST FINE, THRU GOD! i always remember the james is not the FIRST out there away from his family and some with our situation and unfortuantly will not be the LAST...we will just have to pray that GOD will protect him & his soldiers....

i knew he would have to go someday but until that day comes, you just move on and live your life day to day...

FAMILY UPDATE....long

hello everyone!

we hope everyone is doing GREAT and those that celebrated had FUN this past halloween day! WE DID! :) it was really a nice day. we didn't know WHERE we were going to be celebrating this day but we knew, where EVER it was, we WERE going to be doing it!! and there were TONS of kids in our neighborhood. ..just to give you an IDEA of how many there might have been, when we first got to this neighborhood we actually counted the number of kids and there was OVER THREE HUNDRED kids that came to our home!!! and there was just about that many this year!! they are EVERYWHERE!! ! :) NEAT TO SEE!

well, it has been a while since i last wrote an update (if you read my BLOG this might be more of a recap for you!). it has been a LONG and very SICK times this last sept/oct months. and here we are in nov SICK AGAIN!! well, in sept, we had that big seizure on labor day which he decided to pick up a virus that stayed with us for a MONTH AND A HALF! we actually went into the hospital 9/26 -9/28 to try and get him well....it didn't work and we were sent home only to be BACK in the hospital on 10/1/06 due to another almost 2 hour seizure. this time, well, he actually had to be placed on a vent...that was DEFINETLY a scary sight to see!! but we were sent home that tues to get ready for our BIG appt to see the SURGEON for the VNS SURGERY....for a bit there, i had soooo excited to be doing this surgery because it meant the POSSIBILITY of matthew not having any more seizures or at least having some of his seizure meds REDUCED....but then, i started to have some thoughts that
maybe that WAS NOT THE ANSWER to his problems...i just started to feel like SOMEONE was telling me that we were jumping into something that we did not need to be doing right at that momemt....well, then we had that big seizure on 10/1 and then our appt was that wed....well, i come home on that tues from the hospital to find a message saying that the insurance part of it was all messed up and if it was not corrected then it would NOT HAPPEN and need to be rescheduled. ..i took it for a sign that i was RIGHT that it might not be the time for it. well, i was able to get it all straighten out with the help of 2 AWESOME drs offices....we went to the appt and after a "hi, how are you" begining, he started to ask his question (the surgeon)..I think it was his 2ND question and it went something like this, "DOES MATTHEW HAVE ANY HEART RATE PROBLEMS?" i was like, "HMMMM, WELL, BEFORE HIS SEIZURE, HIS HEART RATE DROPS INTO THE 30'S-40'S" and his face said it all!! he was like,
"uh-huh....well, i don't know if this will be happening then!!!" apparently when this device delivers it's jolt to the vagal nerve, it DROPS THE HEART RATE and if his heart rate was ALREADY down because of his autonomic response, it would STOP HIS HEART!!!! ok, that was BASICALLY the end of the appt for ME and for the dr!! he was like, ok, i don't think i want to CHANCE doing the surgery on this little guy! i was like, i don't think and i KNOW i don't WANT you to do the surgery for this little guy!!!!!! no way! he told me that if for some reason we had done the surgery knowing this (even though he said that he did NOT want to take the case) he would need to prescribe ME some meds because i would be TERRIFIED and on edge with the whole thing!!!! i can't imagine the thoughts that would be running thru my head if that was the case!!! he said he wanted to get a work up on matthew from his cardiologist to check things out but he said it was pretty sure NOT the time for
it to happen!! i thought to myself, THANK YOU GOD!! he was SHOWING me that very thing when he started to put those thoughts in my head that MAYBE it was not the right thing to do right now....and then when i got the appt anyway, GOD was like, "ok, here is the REASON i don't want him to have the surgery".... i have always felt that there are reasons for everything and he sure was making sure i knew WHY....sooo, that was the END of that subject!!! we are now looking at the KETOGENIC diet for him...still have not started it but we will be...i think! anyway, i am looking into another area that our ot showed us...apparently there is this dr in NEW YORK that did a study on a pt that was thought to have seizures and presented almost EXACTLY the symptoms that matthew has (only during sleep, normal EEGS, nothing helping, HEART RATE ISSUES) AND this dr after doing studys and such found out that they were not actually seizure but were CAUSED BY THE HEART and after inplacing a
PACEMAKER on his heart.....HIS SEIZURES WENT AWAY and he was off all seizure meds!!! hmmmmmmmmmm. .....sooo, i am researching this and GOD WILLING will find SOMETHING that SOMEONE will look at and maybe gives some options!!! :)

soooooo, continuing on, matthew was STILL a very sick little boy....very congested and he had a round of TWO WEEKS of oral steroids that DID NOT HELP!! poor kid! soooo, the week of the 12th of oct we went to the pulmonolgist for another check up...well, he still sounded like a "washing machine" and they prescribed a NEW oral daily inhaler called ADVAIR HFA 115/21 (it had JUST been approved THAT week) and after 3 days on it, he was CLEAR AGAIN!!!!! wowowowowowowow. ..thank you GOD!! anyway, so life continued and we have been enjoying matthew and alex and the fall weather...well, matthew is getting stronger, i just wish he kept HEALTHY! he is really working on moving around with his frog hop/crawl that he is doing....he is getting into EVERYTHING (if you have not been to my blog, there is a video of him getting into his fav thing!) and he just got his new AFOS yestereday!! and just so you know, AFO's help him keep his feet planted CORRECTLY and help him with his
standing! they are BRACES. anyway, all was going well. we have been REALLY BUSY this past month of oct!! BASS PRO SHOP opened up here in san antonio and you probably don't have to guess very far as to WHO was there on opening day?!? yep, WE WERE!! james couldn't stop grinning!!! he LOVES that place!! anyway, there are some cute pics of the boys on the BLOG!! well, this past weekend, we had another interesting day. on friday, 27th, matthew has started getting a bit sick so we were watching him and giving him treatments etc for his coughing and congestion.. .by sat, he was running a fever and really looking and feeling SICK! well, sat night, at 11:30pm, james wakes me up ( i guess i had FINALLY dosed off) and he tells me, matthew is refluxing! so he started the suction pump and then he yells out, "OMG, HE IS BURNING UP!!" i was like, WHAT?!?! so we took his temp (ear) and he kept getting temps of 105, 106, 104...i was like NO WAY!!!! so i got another therm out
and took a temp under his arm and it was at 105.3!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!! i was like FREAKING OUT!! so we gave him tylenol and we started to bath him with water...his heart rate was in the 200's and oxygen sats were about 90 on 2 liter of oxygen, he was grunting and moaning and his eyes were rolling back!!! i had to call EMS....i was sooooo afraid he was going to have a seizure! (i had visions of a friend of ours little boy that had a high temp and then had a seizure and was set back pretty far!!!) sooo, they took us to the er (103.8) and we were given some IV antibiotics and where put on oxygen and then given some antibiotics to take home and we were sent home! all his test came back negative so they think it was the start of a virus...although his white count(?) showed signs of a bacteria infection?! anyway, we are home and he is SOOOO CONGESTED with tons of goo coming out of his nose and his mouth! poor baby! he is SOMETIMES is using oxygen when he sleeps but overall
he is doing ok. you can tell he doesn't feel good because he looks like he wants to SLEEP!!! :( i just HOPE that he gets over this and that he STOPS GETTING SICK!! i guess this shows us that as MUCH as we want to act like a "normal" family and do things like playgrounds/ parks with him and be around other kiddos, we just CAN'T!!! he is still so fragile and he just gets sick!! i sure don't want him to BE SICK!! soooo, we are back on our neccesary precautions! !! no help for it! but that is OK with us! this week we go see our cardiologist and i am going to ask him about his HEARTRATE and seizure issue...we shall see what he has to say!

on the developmental front, well, he is MOVING ALONG!!!!! he IS improving... we went to see our DEVELOPMENTAL DOCTOR yesterday and he was REALLY IMPRESSED with how much he has IMPROVED!! he saw him back in JAN and he is just soooooo excited to see how well he is doing! he did say the same thing that ECI said about his MOTOR development is what is holding back his score. he KNOWS what he needs to do and wants to do but because he is still so wobbly and so unstable, it is very hard for him to do it. he said that once he gets stronger he should catch up nicely!!! he said that we should just keep doing what we are doing!! he also said that he can see him THINKING IT THRU and all the things that require him to THINK he does well but it is just the motor ones that he can't do. but he is MOVING!!! well, to move on, we are now doing PT TWICE A WEEK!!! :) that should help him out. the PT said that she wants to do that be cause he DEFINETLY shows potential and she wants to
tap into that!! we are also going to get him a KORNER CHAIR & his GAIT TRAINER....that should help him somewhat!! sooooo excited!

onto alex, well, alex is doing being....... ALEX! he is testing us like never before. i have to ask, WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE 2'S?!?!?! is this going to be the norm EVERY 2 YEARS?! when he turned 2, it was like a switched turned on and he went from being such a good little boy to the TERRIBLE TWOS!!! then same thing going from 3 to 4...WOWOWOWOWOW! ! he is talking back and yelling and throwing fits and just CRAZY!! freaking me out!! he is sooooo smart that we have to watch him! he talks back to us now when he doesn't get his way!! i am like, WHAT IS GOING ON!! i know A LOT of it has to do with him not taking a nap anymore and him being SOOOOOOO TIRED by the time james walks in. he is soooo tired that see dad is just toooooo much for him! he will jsut become a WILD CHILD!!! but then he can turn it around and woo you!! SILLY BOY! well, he is doing GREAT on his school! actually, alot of the materials in his books for pre-school levels are more of a review for him!! he knows how to write the alphabet in both upper and lower case and he has the concepts down of shapes/what' s missing/ patterns/ phonics/etc. ...he is LEARNING how to spell by sounding out the phonics of a word....we are now working on numbers & simple add/subtract type of things..learning how to tell time...he is learning spanish too! he is doing REALLY GREAT!! he is such a smart little boy....i am sooooooo PROUD OF HIM!! and of course him on the computer, he just goes to it and turns it on and waits for it to boot up, goes to his user name, waits for everything to load, clicks on internet explorer, opens whatever webpage he wants to do and goes to town!! ALL ON HIS OWN!!! he has his own favorites with all of his fav/approved sites on it and he just picks and choses what he wants to play!!! he is soooo awesome! but now i have a tool to take away whenever he starts to act up! he actually went over a week with out it because he threw some fits and i had to take it
away and he couldn't get it back until he had 2 days of being "good"...anyway, he is really doing AWESOME and he is just being a GREAT BIG BROTHER!! he has had to go to all of the appts with me and he is sooooo well behaved!! the drs and nurses are AMAZED!!!

and james is doing great too. we just got some news that are kinda scary....we just found out that he is slated to be deployed overseas sometime between jan/march... .wowowow. ..well, i KNEW that someday he would have to go but i SURE wish it was when the boys were a BIT OLDER and matthew a BIT healthier!!! they actually said, "you and so-so are going, so you are going to the SRP"....they are TRYING to get him out of it but he told me that it could look bad for him if he does that because then they MIGHT not re-enlist him for being NONDEPOYABLE. ...we DEFIENTLY don't want to be kicked out of the military for that.....he asked me, what i am going to do if he does go? well, what can i do but SURVIVE and HANDLE IT!! and i know i can! it would be hard but i know i can do it! and i already have a plan down if GOD FORBID matthew has to be in the hospital and james would not be here, i would have alex with me during that time....i wouldn't be able to leave him because i KNOW he would be DEVESTATED not having his daddy home and then for matthew and i to leave...i don't know how he would handle it! and he always does sooooo good at the hosptial, i wouldn't be afraid of that....soooo, please say a prayer that whatever will happen that it all goes well!! i don't want james to go but we don't get much choice, he is MILITARY and i am ALWAYS aware of that fact....and i am PROUD to be MILITARY!!! i couldn't imagine it any other way!

soooo, down to me...i am doing well. i have whatever alex and matthew has! so i am dealing with it! my fibro has been REALLY BAD the last couple of weeks...i have been really hurting and sometimes having a hard time walking..i am EXHAUSTED and just ache aaaallllllll over!! sometimes it is REALLY hard for me to carry matthew up the stairs....he is getting heavier and my back problems get pretty bad. i had a fibro "whiplash" there for a while (that is where your BACK has this pain just like whiplash and you can't move really...you are STIFF and gives off SHARP PAINS if you move a certain way) and that was EXCRUSIATING PAIN where i could not turn a certain way and i couldn't turn my back a certain way and i DEFIENTLY could BARELY pick up matthew...that was REALLY HARD...i actually had to take my muscle relaxers that time (i took 800mg of motrin and it didn't even TOUCH the pain!) and i HATE to take muscle relaxers because i am soooo out of it afterwards and all the next
day! i only take them when i ABSOLUTELY have to because of matthew. the couch is really comfy for me and is actually helped me to catch a couple of zzzzzz's at night! i don't know what it is aobut the loveseat but i sleep better on it! maybe because i am not laying FLAT?! anyway, i am just tired. sad for my little man matthew and worried about my BIG man james and hanging in there with my four year old too!!!

soooo, i hope that this email finds everyone doing GREAT and everyone is getting ready for THANKSGIVING! ! can you believe the HOLIDAY SEASON is coming up?!??! amazing how times FLIES!!! well, i didn't get to get the PUMPKIN PATCH pictures this year because i PROCRASTINATED and we had sooo much do each and every weekend that we said, "the last weekend before halloween we will go..." well, we all know what happen then!! MATTHEW WAS SICK sooooo there went the PICS! :( but we did get some of the boys trick or treating so i will attach them! and there are MORE PICS in the FLICKR account on the side of my BLOG that i uploaded recently.... please feel free to check them out! so here are some pics of the boys during halloween!! please just click on the link and it should take you there!!

HERE IS THE PICTURE OF THE BOYS WITH THEIR PUMPKIN!
http://img316.imageshack.us/img316/3613/dscn0155qk9.jpg

HERE IS THE PICTURE OF THE BOYS TRICK OR TREATING!!
http://img316.imageshack.us/img316/74/dscn0156yx7.jpg

BOYS GOING AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD!
http://img316.imageshack.us/img316/8683/dscn0159qq3.jpg

AT HOME HANDING OUT CANDIES!!
http://img316.imageshack.us/img316/3620/dscn0166su2.jpg


oooohhhhh, and he is now in GOOGLE!!!! yep, if you google the words MATTHEW ISAIAH he comes up!! :) hey, what does THAT mean? i just thought that was COOL!!!

anyway, i hope all is going well....we have been hanging in there and just ENJOYING life....we LOVE to hear from everyone whenever you email...it is sooooo special to us to have ya'll email us! THANK YOU!

we are PRAYING right now that these last 2 months are NOT an indication of what is to come this winter season for matthew....i continue to PRAY AND PRAY that his SEIZURES continue to stay away! i now pray over him and just say " IN JESUS NAME YOU WILL NOT HAVE A SEIZURE " and he WILL NOT HAVE ONE!! i have to believe that! i have somehow lost how POWERFUL complete faith in GOD is....what MIRACLES can happen... does that make any sense? all i have to do is REMEMBER and REFLECT what a MIRACLE he performed on my matthew back when he was born and EVERY DAY SINCE! i watch his montage EVERYDAY to remind me of WHAT A MIRACLE i have in him!!!

well, don't forget you can keep up with the GONZALEZ clan on our BLOG www.blessingsinmylife.blogspot. com i am always updating it with what is going on with us all....i also try to add pics to the blog and FLICKR photos!

ooooohhhh, before i forget...the CHD QUILT will be showing in HOUSTON, TX this weekend coming up. The CHD Heart Quilts have been invited to have a booth at the International Quilt Festival in Houston , Texas , November 2-5, 2006 . The event will be held at the George Brown convention center. We will be in the Special Exhibit Section. MATTHEWS QUILT will be there #37!! so anyone near and around houston, please go check it out and if you happen to be there can you take a picture for us?! wish we could go but james will be doing national guard drill that weekend...

well, TAKE CARE everyone and we pray that everyone continues doing well....know that we LOVE to hear from anyone and everyone!! it is great to keep in touch!

ok, take care and GOD BLESS...

LOVE,
JAMES, MARIA, ALEX AND MATTHEW

www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/miraclematthew
www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babyalexii
www.blessingsinmylife.blogspot.com