Wishes DO come true...our FAMILY in FLORIDA!! :)

Sunday, May 25, 2008


hola everyone....well, my prayers and all those that prayed for this are ANSWERED!!! THANK YOU GOD, james will be HOME ON MODNAY!!!!!! YYYIIIIPPPPEEEEE!!!! they granted him LEAVE for those days before his class!!! :) they were not at first but he was able to take leave and I AM SO THANKFUL!!!! he will not be coming home with the others at the airport (they are coming home on tuesday 3:30pm) but he will be driving down with some other soldiers that have to bring down some vans! i asked him if he wanted me to buy him a ticket to come home but he said that he would ride with them instead of shelling out some money.....whatever he wants! i am just so excited and happy and my boys are going CRAZY getting alll excited about him coming home and of course i am too!! i went to the store today and bought all his favorite stuff!!! so THANK YOU ALL for all your good thoughts, prayers for this!!

i just wish joshua and matthew were feeling better.....matthew is currently sick enough to need oxygen during sleep!! :( noooot happy...

well, take care everyone! i will share some pictures of the homecoming with ya'll....unfortunatly, he will not get to be at the homecoming at the airport but we will be there in spirit and we MIGHT get to be there to welcome the other wonderful heroes home too....and if anyone wanted to be there to welcome them i am sure they would appreciate it!!!


Saturday, May 24, 2008


yep, THURSDAY while i was upstairs, my little guy started to CRAWL!!!! awwwwww....i am so happy?!?!? i am not sure on that but right now i am!! it is sooo cute to see his little tush in the air as he crawls about...he is LOVING IT and loves to go everywhere now...he is off and running!!! toooo cute!! unforutnatly, he has been sick exactly a week today...we went yesterday to his well baby (15 lbs 4 oz) and all check out well but he is WHEEZING!! we took him to the dr on MONDAY and he was just junky so they called it a COLD...well, yesterday, he was STILL wheezing and junky so they gave him an antibiotic and on neb treatments for a week!!! i wonder if he will have respiratory issues now? he has had them at LEAST 4 times since he was born..hmmmmm...

no news yet on james...GOD WILLING he will call with news that he can come home EVEN for a couple of days!! we shall see...still praying!!! but i love being able to call him...i think that is the HIGHTLIGHT of the can NEVER understand how much calling someone feels like until you can't! when he called me the first day that he was in the u.s. i IMMEDIATELY called him back BECAUSE I COULD!! for a whole year now, i have had to WAIT for a phone call from him and not have that CONTROL to be able to call him when i needed to or wanted...what a BLESSING!! i love just being able to pick up the phone and CALL HIM....THANK YOU GOD!! :)

well, MATTHEW is SICK RIGHT NOW.,....we had a ROUGH day last night....he got junky 2 weeks ago yesterday and on tuesday night, he spiked a fever!!! GRRRRRR....then after that he just had a low grade temp and then on thursday, he started to reflux after his food and then he desated and then he spiked a TEMP!!! SAME for friday we took him to the dr and he sent us over to get an XRAY at the hospital... and last night, it was AWEFUL! he was up all night coughing and choking..i had to do some treatments and suctioning and then i had to give him motrin cause he spiked another temp at 4am!!! GOD WILLING this will all clear up...did i forget to say he is STILL on antibiotics>! where is this coming from?!

ANYWAY, it will be a quiet weekend...i don't have any nurses this weekend until tuesday and that is OK with me!! i sometimes enjoy just our family time togehter...the nurses have been WONDERFUL but sometimes just being a family is PERFECT!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

ok, feeling better...

i think that it was just a bunch of SHOCK on my part why i let it get me so down yesterday when i got the news that he was being held on ADMIN HOLD....after a year away, to THINK that you would be able to see him before his school and then let it be taken away was just too much for me FOR THE MOMENT!! i am just blessed he is HOME in the UNITED STATES...that is the most important, we will wait and see if MAYBE he can get a 4 day pass or something so that he can come home before he goes to school....i am praying so hard!! the boys miss him soooo much!! :)

soo, we pray and we WAIT!!!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

i have no words right now....

or at least no good words....i just found some very sad news...well, it is mixed because i am happy he is IN THE UNITED STATES but.......instead of james coming home TUESDAY....HE WILL NOT BE HOME FOR A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can you say just HEARTBROKEN?!?!?! i am really upset and mad because they are keeping him because he has class...ok, his class doesn't start until JUNE 7TH....he will just be WAITING OVER THERE UNTIL IT IS TIME TO GO TO CLASS!!!! i am just so MAD right now!! why can't they just let those guys come HOME for the 2 weeks before they have to be in class?!? WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!? it makes no sense to leave them up there JUST because they have class june 7th!!!! soooo, now, we don't have the time before he goes to class to be with him, instead he will be THERE and we will be HERE!! i had already told the boys that he would be home TUESDAY and now i have to let them know that NOPE, NOT FOR A WHOLE MONTH WILL YOU GET TO SEE YOUR, i am just a MESS RIGHT NOW!! unbelievable...i can't even believe it...that is all i have been thinking about since i talk to him this morning!! now i could go over there BUT, it is so hard to travel 9 HOURS over there with my 3 boys and matthew is sick right now, so i would have to take ALL HIS EQUIPMENT with us...and if i go by myself, well, if i had to stop to take a bathroom brake, i have to take ALL THE KIDS out, take matthew stroller out too cause he can't walk, and then go to the is a LOT of work....and then the party is next weekend, and then the following week (first week of june) he has doctor appts, not to mention all the therapy sessions he has etc....OMG....


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

WELL i got the call!!!

yep, jame called to say he was in the UNITED STATES!!! OOOOHHH THE JOY when my phone rang and it wa JAMES CELL PHONE!! THANK YOU GOD!! WE ARE SO HAPPY AND JUST EXCITED THAT HE IS ON U.S. SOIL!!!! he will probably make it into texas late tonight or early tomorrow!! YIIPPPEEEE!!! and i LOVED that he got into the states on MATTHEW'S BIRTHDAY!!! he was able to call him and talk to him on his birthday!! i knew he had to be somewhere he could't talk because he had not called all day...he was TRAVELING!!!!! :) SOOOO HAPPY!

MY precious alex....

last night, he was sooooo excited because tomorrow was matthews birthday!! he told me, "i am so happy and excited because after tomorrow, matthew will be 4 and he will sleep in my room and i will get to sleep on the top bed!! i am so excited" i had to let him know that probably not this year but maybe in a couple of years...

well, this morning, i am in matthews room (after starting with DRAMA last night by spiking a fever, desating and coughing and this morning at 4:30am waking up because he had a 102.5 temp!! couldn't help NOT having DRAMA on his birthday!)...alex walks into matthew room and i told him "come over and say GOOD MORNING and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to matthew" so, he comes over with this happy smile and as i am picking up matthew out of his bed/crib, alex smile gets WIPED AWAY and he says "he is still a BABY!! he is still wearing DIAPERS!!!" OMG, i busted out LAUGHING and i had to explain to him that YES he is 4 years old but he is a special little boy and right now, he can not do the things that a "normal" 4 year old can do but GOD WILLING in his future he will catch up! that seemed to pacify him until he said, "when he is 5....."


Hello everyone!!

We hope everyone is doing WONDERFUL!! As for us, well, just wanted to share with everyone that MATTHEW ISAIAH, our little miracle, TURNS 4 TODAY!!!! What a BLESSING!! We are so THANKFUL TO GOD for the miracle that HE gave us in our Matthew…

Now, I know that most of you remember the story of WHY we call Matthew our Miracle…if not, well, I will give you the ABBREVIATED version of his wonderful miracle of a story….(those that would like the FULL story, please visit our BLOG and I will have it posted there!!) Matthew was born FULL TERM via scheduled C-section on May 21st, 2004, 8:54am….we had a WONDERFUL pg and enjoyed EVERY minute of it! It was such a JOY to share it with our little boy Alex who loved his baby brother! So, he was born and he was crying BUT unfortunately, he did not “pink” up…he was blue and they knew something was wrong…he was transferred to another hospital after finding out that he had TOTAL ANOMOLOUS PULMONARY VENEOUS RETURN (TAPVR)..he had his first open heart surgery at 8 hours old….he was placed on ECMO (heart/lung bypass machine) because he couldn’t be on his own….he was taken off at 5 days old and we were told he would not survive the day…he was blue again….but because of GOD and TONS of PRAYERS for this little boy, he SURVIVED where NO DOCTOR thought he would and we were given a 1 in 10 chance that he WOULD live thru that day…he went on to have a g-tube placement at 2months old and another open heart surgery at 2.5 months old before he was able to come home at 98 days old…..the wonderful thing about this is since then, he has done well…he does have many issues and obstacles that he must over come. He takes over 10 medications on a daily basis, he has chronic lung disease that causes him to be junky many a time, he still is a 100% g-tube fed BUT he has gotten better at eating (thank you GOD), he is learning to walk and talk…he is our little fighter and our little MIRACLE guy!!! If you ever meet Matthew, you will come away feeling like you met someone special….he is always happy, laughing and trying to get your attention…he loves the GIRLS and loves to flirt with them and impress them….if you are someone new, he will show off for you and try to get you to smile (with that FAMOUS LIP!!)….

This year has brought many wonderful changes with Matthew….a year ago, he had some MAJOR complications on his 3rd birthday…he ended up BACK in surgery for his tonsils due to excess bleeding from his surgery…but what happened after that is what caused all the DRAMA…he went into MOBITZ 2 COMPLETE HEART BLOCK 5 hours after his trip back in the OR and had to be rushed to another hospital for immediate pacemaker implant….well, as we know with our little guy, he has other plans and thru GOD AND PRAYERS AGAIN, his heart rate corrected itself and he did NOT need to have a pacemaker implanted!!! And the doctor did not know what to make of it! And thru this year, Matthew has also had many issues with his seizures…this year, he had an increased number of seizures where he was having them one a day…he even had another HELICOPTER RIDE in October from Fredicksburg back to san Antonio due to an HOUR LONG SEIZURE!! We have added new drugs, taken drugs away and increased his seizure meds to try to get the seizures to stabilized…..THANK YOU GOD, we added and taken away and right now, he is doing GOOD… I think because of him doing so well, he has progressed more in his development!! He has also started EATING more since baby brother started to eat baby food….he did not want to be LEFT OUT of that area!! And don’t think you will feed him; he is so independent that he wants to do it ALL BY HIMSELF!!! He is a BIG BOY and he can do it! He tries so hard to self feed…we are so proud of him! He has also started to do more in the GROSS MOTOR area….he now can pull up on stuff and he is starting to CRUISE around the furniture! He is also getting to where he needs to be really quickly and also he is ALL OVER the house now, not just in his area…he is exploring his home by crawling all over!! I love it!! The other day, he made it into the kitchen and was playing with the pots and pans…his speech has also been coming out..He tries so hard to talk and I can’t WAIT for him to be able to tell me in words what he needs or wants me to do! he is just AMAZING to me!

So, FOUR YEARS OLD, THANK YOU GOD!! Amazing…INCREDIBLE…thankful! When our son was born, I had NO IDEA what would happen in our lives and what a BLESSING was delivered to us and given in our care. He is PRECIOUS beyond words to us and he is just such a PURE LIGHT in our lives….James told me just yesterday that when he hears Matthew talking to him on the phone, he just MELTS and he gets so teary eyed about it….that is what Matthew does to us…he has a smile that will just MELT your heart, he has these HUGE BEAUTIFUL EYES that say so much to us…..they are the WINDOW to the WORLD because there is just so much in there…I can sit and stare at them and just think and wonder….Matthew has been thru so much and thru it all, is just a happy little boy. He has been thru more thing in his four years that most of us have gone thru in all of our lives!! He is a TRUE MIRACLE…we are so blessed to have him in our life!

So, THANK YOU ALL for all those prayers and thoughts thru out the year for him. We feel so blessed to have ALL of ya’ll out there for Matthew….FOUR YEARS OLD…I can’t get over that fact that my little miracle of a baby is now FOUR YEARS OLD….I can think back to when he was born and being told that the cardiologist didn’t think he would make the transfer across town because he was that bad…and when they took him off of ECMO to “die a natural death” he did NOT die….every day is so VIVID in my thoughts…I will NEVER forget ever second of his life…I can’t wait to continue to ADD thoughts and events to it!! I look FOREWARD to it!!


THANKS for wanting to share in his life!! i will NEVER forget all those that supported us throughout those first days when things were so grim and so will ALWAYS be in our hearts for that...and all those that have been there thru out his life, doctors, nurses, therapist, friends, family and people all over the world, many we have never met, THANK YOU ALL for being part of Matthew's life!!!

I made a montage for his FOURTH birthday…it does start off like the original one but it is updated (thre is music too!)! I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to leave a comment:


I hope to have news soon on JAMES coming home....GOD WILLING it will be SOON!!

don't forget to check out our BLOG for updated PICTURES of the boys!!! and there is also a LETTER from james as he was leaving CB, and just to find out when james gets HOME!! :)

take care everyone and GOD BLESS....


James, Maria, Alex, & Joshua


We decided we were going to try to have another baby. We said when baby Alex was a year old; we were going to start "really" trying. THANK YOU GOD, we got pg that 1st month. That was a miracle in itself, we had had 2 previous m/c! We were solo happy! Baby Alex was going to be a BIG BROTHER! We didn't tell anyone yet. We had our 1st sono at 9 weeks and were able to tell my mom Eunice about our pg before she passed away! It was something that God had told us we must do and not to be afraid to say anything. We had a wonderful pg! Other than the occasional bout of nausea & constantly being hot, it was wonderful! We were all soooo happy and excited. We knew Matthew was going to be bigger than baby Alex because I was REALLY showing right away! We all enjoyed this pg SOOOO MUCH! Baby Alex loved to give hugs, kisses and love to his baby brother. He would give him juice, toys and share his cookies with the baby!
I knew from the beginning that it was probably a boy. We had a sonogram @ 26 weeks gest. We were NOT going to find out the sex of this baby, but my boys are NOT SHY! We went to get it done and when the sono person was scanning to see which way was up, James yells "OMG, I KNOW WHAT IT IS!" I said "it's a boy right?" and sure enough HE WAS!! We were soooo happy and excited!! I had already picked out the name Matthew and I had fallen in love with the name ISAIAH.
The day of the scheduled C-section, May 21, 2004, was sooo exciting! James and I couldn't sleep! We got there at 5:30 am and got prepped and ready! James looked soooo cute with his little outfit! Indi was there with us awaiting her new nephew’s arrival! We went into the OR about 8am and got things rolling. Daddy watched the WHOLE THING! MATTHEW ISAIAH came into this world crying at 8:54am! A sound sooo beautiful....we got a quick glimpse of him and he was BEAUTIFUL! Then they took him away. As they were working on him, the last thing I heard was that he was not changing colors...when I woke up in recovery room all was well in my life! I had just had a beautiful baby boy! Then a nurse walks in and stated, "WHERE IS MR GONZALEZ? YOUR SON HAS A HEART DEFECT AND HE HAS LUNG DAMAGE AND WE NEED TO TRANSFER YOUR BABY TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL" and walks right back out! I was stunned and asking, "My baby?" but she was already gone! Then James runs in and was crying so I KNEW that it was about Matthew. Then a couple of minutes later, the cardiologist comes in and tells us that he has a heart defect and they need to transfer him and he is VERY CRITICAL. I asked one of the hardest questions I could ask and that was the prognosis of my son, he told me "I don't think he will make the transport to the hospital". I was sooo stunned. We were crying in disbelief and just praying our hardest! I got a chance to touch him before he left. He was sooo beautiful! THANK YOU JESUS he made the trip to SW METHODIST CHILDRENS HOSPITAL! James followed the ambulance there. When they got there, they were immediately taken to the cardiac cath lab (2pm). They found out that he had a rare heart defect called Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return (TAPVR) and some serious lung damage. They had to operate NOW! James had baby Matthew baptized right before the surgery (4pm). He was in surgery until 12:30 am!! 8 1/2 hours! He is such a FIGHTER! They were unable to take him off the bypass machine after surgery, so they put him on the ECMO machine (heart/lung bypass) and some serious cardiac drugs and a vent. There was sooo many machines on him; it was hard to see the BABY! There were always 2 nurses in that room 24/7 just for him and a nurse just for the ECMO machine. You had to wear a mask/gown/hat to go in there. They were still unsure if he would survive. The cardiothoracic surgeon took a chance on Matthew because he was soooo bad and he didn’t know if he would survive even after his surgery. So, they explained to us that the only choice at this point was that we HAD to take him off of the ECMO machine because he could not survive living on it! So, after 5 days of being on the bypass, they took him off of ECMO to DIE a natural death. Our cardiothoracic surgeon and all the Drs involved were very frank with us. They told us that his chances were very SLIM that he would be able to make it because of the sever damage to his lungs and the tiny veins. I remember just praying and waiting in the waiting room for news. It was actually pretty quick. We then see the anesthesiologist come out and talk to us. He was VERY grave and very sorry to say that he gave him 1 in 10 chance of survival. He just didn’t think he would make it and that the only thing we could do was PRAY like we had never prayed before. There was NOTHING else they could do and he was very sorry. Then the intensivist, cardiologist and surgeon all said the same thing and said that they just didn’t think he would make it thru the night. He was blue again. His little body HAD to do everything by himself now. He was that bad. So we PRAYED and we called everyone and asked them to pray and then we went into the room to see him. We actually met a wonderful CHILD CARE SPECIALIST at the door of the PICU and she asked if there was anything she could do for us and I told her what was happening. She went into action!!! She was the one that got us the footprints, and models of his hands and feet. She made things happen. James and I and my SIL went into the room to see him. I told my SIL, TAKE ALL THE PICTURES YOU CAN. And she did. Words can not describe how it looked in that big old room. EMPTY. The ECMO machine was gone and the room looked empty and……SILENT. Just a big sense of sadness in the room. And then my beautiful Matthew Isaiah looked so BLUE and helpless. But we had a wonderful nurse that day that had always been very nice to us. She told us, “ok, let’s give him a bath” and we did. We just talked to Matthew and told him how much we loved him and how proud we were of him. The nurse asked us, “What do you want? Do you want mariachis? A cake? A party? You name it” so we asked for a birthday cake. We called all our friends and families and they all started to come in. we were also FINALLY able to hold our son. He was soooo beautiful. It took 3-4 people to move him from his warmer to our arms. And that is how you knew that they really expected him to pass. They normally don’t let you hold him right after major surgery, with his chest still open and ESPECIALLY with a vent on. But, they did it for us because they thought he would not make it. I went first and OH WHAT A FEELING it was too finally hold my son after 5 days old. He was so beautiful! Precious. I could not talk to him enough. It was so sweet of everyone to come by. I remember saying to James, we are going to make this a HAPPY day. I don’t want him to see/hear us breaking down. And we did. Everyone that came to see him was introduced to him. And then they would all start talking to him and tell him about themselves. It was really touching and awesome how he had already touched so many people not just here in San Antonio, but around the world. My internet family was all praying for him all over the world. All we asked of everyone was PRAYERS PRAYERS AND PRAYERS! Nothing else and nothing more. We had a birthday cake for him and all the staff came in to sing “happy birthday” to him and everyone said a prayer with us there in the room. It was BEAUTIFUL. And so thru out the day, we WAITED….for what, we were not sure just that SOMETHING would happen and he would no longer be with us. We would keep asking the nurses what we were waiting for and HOW it would happen and they said that he would just start shutting down and then he would be gone. I asked how long and they said, “His heart is strong” so, we waited and love and prayed. By 9pm, we asked everyone to go ahead and go home that we would call them to let them know what had happened. I remember holding him and being sooooo tired. I just kept telling James “please keep talking to him. Don’t stop talking to him” and he told me he would. I would wake up with him in my arms and James was just talking and talking to him about ANYTHING. It was so beautiful. Then it was my turn and he would take a nap holding Matthew and I would talk and talk. James and I held our miracle until about 2 am. We finally had to put him down before we dropped the poor baby! And we did and slept right there, me in a rocking chair with my legs on another chair and James in a chair. When we woke up, the MIRACLE OF MATTHEW had begun. We woke up at 7am at shift change and he was PEEING again!!! (They had told us the night they took him off ECMO that his kidney had stopped working because he had stopped producing pee.) He was still with us!! And he was doing AMAZING!!! NO ONE, Drs included, could believe he was still here with us. Our surgeon said, "We might have a miracle on our hands" labs & x-rays were started again. They started taking him off his cardiac meds and he did great! They closed up his chest and the dr said that he was his little "Lazarus". He continued to make progress and improve and be with us everyday. He has had several surgeries since his initial one and the BIGGEST ONE was a repeat of the first open heart surgery to fix the narrowing of his veins. He was in the PICU for the first 98 days of his life until he finally came home.

In November 2004, Matthew suddenly developed seizures out of the blue. They at first diagnosed him with INFANTILE SPASMS but they never developed even though he had all the ear marks for that type of seizures. His seizure disorder has had its up and downs. He has had to be airlifted twice due to the severity of his seizures and each time he has had his “BIG” seizures, they have lasted OVER an hour and have required us to give him heavy doses of seizure drugs and also has resulted in him stopping breathing and the medics to have to bag him and intubate him. This is going on till this day! On October 6, 2007 he again had another “big” seizure that resulted in him being airlifted to Methodist hospital. It is a constant struggle and we have to closely monitor him whenever he sleeps because his seizures happen when he is asleep. He is on FOUR seizure meds to try to control his seizures.

He also has chronic lung disease due to his TAPVR. He tends to get sick quite easily and is always at risk for hospitalization. He has to have a pulmonary percussion vest that he uses 2 times a day with his nebulizer treatments. He is on a couple of inhalers daily and we are on and off ORAL STEROIDS when he gets junky which is often. He we are always soooo worried about him out in public because he does tend to attract EVERY illness that is out there!!  But his lungs are what they are and we just try to maintain them to keep them healthy and clear.

He also has a mild case of Cerebral Palsy and is developmentally delayed. He is getting physical therapy 2 times a week, occupational therapy 2 times a week and speech 2 times a week. He also has a homebound teacher coming in 4 times a week for an hour thru the school district. He is mobile and he is able to do a form of crawling and is working HARD at standing and walking. He has overall low tone in his muscles. He wears AFO’s on his feet to help with this when standing and walking. He also has GERD and is 100% g-tube fed at this time but we are making progress on his eating orally!!

We are SOOOO PROUD OF HIM and are in AWE of his strength and his personality. He is such a HAPPY BOY and LOVES anyone who he meets. He has such strength in him and just a wonderful little boy! He amazes us everyday and we feel and KNOW that we are SOOOOOO BLESSED that he is here in our lives! THANK YOU GOD for this little boy and all he is!!

Sunday, May 18, 2008


OIF 2007-2008
Camp Bucca, Iraq

Well hello to all! This letter is the closing letter from this place. I am sorry I have not sent much out to anybody as far as emails, letters, & phone calls. This place keeps me pretty busy. I have been blessed with the most beautiful wife in the world to always be sending me care packages. I have also received great care packages from the best mother in the world (my mom). Thanks. It has been a very different experience that I wish no other would have to do. All in all it has been okay. We don’t have as many mortar and rocket attacks like other places get to experience but that is just okay with me. I can always deal without them. I have developed a small case of forgetfulness but I guess it is the heat and that this place can do that to you. I can’t wait to get back to the states so I can regain my thought of sense. I will soon be able to do that in the NEAR FUTURE. I can’t say dates or times; it’s for the safety of the soldiers.
My time and experience here in Iraq has been different. I have experienced the following here in Bucca; lots of sand storms, tons of smoke (from burning trash), learning some of the culture, I’ve learned a couple of phrases and some words in Arabic, learned to take 4 minute or less showers to conserve water, learned that there are a lot of movies out there.
On my free time when I had off, I spent a lot of time in the gym and watching movies. There really is not a lot to do here in Bucca. The chow hall feeds you really good too; they give you the truckers special (like my dad would say). If you don’t watch out, you can put on the pounds easy over here. There was this one girl here who sent an email to her father and told him that she wasn’t getting feed but one time on a 13 hour shift. Well, what they do is bring one hot meal out to you and then they have MRE’s if you want to eat that. With the hours that we work, it’s all about time management. You have to make a schedule out for yourself so you can have time to do laundry, gym, call home, check email (time permitting), what ever else you want to do and of course time for eating. I had at least 2 hot meals in a 24 hour time. When I was on day schedule I would eat lunch after the gym before going in to work, then they would take us a hot meal out at the compound. Once you got off you had the opportunity to go get another hot meal if you wanted. By the time I got off, all I wanted to do was sleep. Then when I got moved to the night shift I would go to gym then eat breakfast then go to work and then they would bring breakfast out again, then once off you had the opportunity to go eat a hot meal if you wanted to. Like I said earlier, I was too tired to go eat that other hot meal. But, let me tell you I ate pretty well over here, so I had to make sure I went to the gym. I came over here at the heaviest I have ever been at 187lbs and now I am down to normal weight of 161lbs. I kind of fluctuate between 157 to 162 now. Now I just have to maintain that once I get home.
Now for the getting home part, once I get home, I have to leave again for school. That is kind of a bummer but it’s for my career so I got’s to do it. Right now I have all of my bags packed so that pretty much tells ya’ll how fast I am coming home. I have no sheets on the bed and no rug on the floor, YEAH! I can’t wait. Boy howdy, let me tell ya’ll. I have been waiting for this for the longest time now. Buenos, I have to go now. I got to go see a couple of buddies off and I’ll see ya’ll soon. Take care and God Bless!

Love, SSG Gonzo

sooooo close....

it is just really sinking in that in as close as a WHOLE BUNCH OF DAYS (could be more than few and less than a ton)(i can't say EXACT DAYS) our family WILL BE COMPLETE AGAIN, GOD WILLING!!! OMG, it is so hard to imagine him home with has been more than 11 months since he LEFT!!!! soooo close....the butterflies are FLYING right now when i think of it....soooo close.....i talked to him and his last day working was on friday and i am SOOOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT! he has worked so hard out there....12+ hours shifts 7 days a week sand, heat, cold, etc....away from his close....

he called today, early in the was so good to hear from him. well, he said, HIS BAGS ARE PACKED, EVERYTHING BUT HIS COMPUTER and he is just waiting for the call.........WOWOWOWOW....i am so happy and so really can't sink in yet that he is ALMOST HOME!! i am sitting here ANXIOUSLY waiting for a CALL from him saying SOMETHING....whatever that may, SO CLOSE!!!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

well, just something i feel so BLESSED about...

well, i just had to blog about this...why? because i feel SOOOOO BLESSED and PROUD of something that MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND I have done is not anything HUGE to anyone else, just our family but it is HUGE in our family....what?! well, we were BLESSED to be able to pay off MY TRUCK, OUR BOAT and MY STUDENT LOAN (FINALLY!!)!!! i am soooo happy! we made a decision that instead of blowing our IRS money on something silly, we would PAY OFF some bills....soooo, combined with his bonus that he recieved due to re-enlisting over there, we were able to PAY THESE THINGS OFF!!!! how AWESOME is that?!?!?! and i know i FEEL SOOOO GOOD!! and we are not just going to SPLURGE on that extra money that we have, instead we will apply THOSE PAYMENTS towards our RV so that we can GOD WILLING pay that off SOONER!!!!! they are already in our budget so we are just going to act like they are still THERE!! i know i am so excited about it!! it is just such an accomplishment for my family to do this! i am so excited to pay them off......WWWOOOOOOHHHOOOOOOO!!!

ANYWAY....i know you have noticed the new SONGS on my blog....if you haven't guessed, just songs that have the word "HOME" in it and have meaning for my wonderful husband coming HOME!! if you know of another song, LET ME KNOW, and i will see if i can upload it so we can hear it!!

Monday, May 12, 2008

ALEX said something kinda sad today...

well, today, as we were doing class, he asked me "are we going to talk to JAMES today?" i was like, "who?" he said, "you know, the guy on the computer that we talked to yesterday?" i was like, huh?!?! you mean DADDY? he said, yeah, that guy...hmmm....didn't know what to say about that!!!

well, we are getting ready for the party and for JAMES to come home!! i can't give dates but GOD WILLING it will be SOON!! i am so happy and excited!! and the boys don't REALIZE how close he is to coming home!!! we are soooo excited!

well, we are just gearing up with SO MUCH coming up!! our truck should be arriving by the end of this month (YIPPEEE!!) and with james coming home, getting ready for matthew party and just doing tons of stuff around to house to GET ready for james and the you say TIRED?!?!?! i need my lunch tomorrow VERY badly....

ok, so i am tired and just EXCITED that it has flared up my FIBRO AND MY ECCEMA!!! so, i am not SLEEPing as much because of the fibro, i am in PAIN cause of the fibro (IN THE AM IT IS CRAZY!) and then i am ITCHING caue of the eccema....MAN! I AM A MESS!!! oh well, GOD WILLING once james comes home it will SLOW DOWN.....right...

Sunday, May 11, 2008



awwww...well, it is MOTHERS DAY...what a BEAUTIFUL DAY this day is for me...who would have EVER believe that i am a MOMMY TO 3 BEAUTIFUL BOYS!!! i am so proud to be called mommy....i can't wait to hear my 4 year old and my nb say that word to me. i am a mommy....what an HONOR and a BLESSING it is for me to be a mommy...i look at my boys and just MARVEL at their believe that GOD BLESSED me with these precious children...they are mine....amazing. i can hardly belive it...i look back on my childhood and think about my mom and all she was to she believed in me and just LOVED ME despite everything in HER life and what she had been thru, she loved me....she was so proud of me and my brother....her 2 joys in her very troubling life....i always knew that i was loved and that she would try to EVERYTHING in her powers to be there for me....i want to be a mommy just like her. she loved her kids and NO ONE can ever take that away from her.....

my mom and her children, my brother and i....

my mom and her baby...with her first grandchild..the only one that she got to meet..

so many wonderful mommys i have been blessed to meet now that i am a mommy. being a mommy is so special and you belong in a wonderful have things in common with other "mommies" out there....i have been so blessed to have so many friends...some mommies that i have known all my life, some that i have now known since alex was a baby, others that i have RECENTLY met thru homeschooling my boys...what a joy it has been to be blessed with them in my life....they, to me, are what mommies are...they love their children, they love their family, family is the priority....thank you GOD for giving me such blessing in my life...

i heard this poem back when i was little in CCD class....i loved it then, but i didn't understand it....NOW I to all the mommies out there, HAPPY MOTHERS are so BLESSED TO BE A MOMMY!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL...

enjoy the poem...

When God Created Mothers

When the good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day
of overtime, when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of
fiddling around on this one." And the Lord said, "Have you read the
spec on this one? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic;
have 180 moveable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and
leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up; a kiss that
can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; and
six pair of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six
pairs of way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems,"
said the Lord. “It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord nodded. "One
pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids
doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here, in the back of her
head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she has to know, and of
course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up
and say, 'I understand and I love you,' without so much as uttering a word."
"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve gently, "Rest for now.
Tomorrow...." "I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating
something close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when
she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger, and
can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."
The angel circled the model of the mother very slowly. "She's too soft," she sighed.
“But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what the
mother can do or endure." "Can she think?" "Not only think, but she
can reason and compromise," said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.
There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you, you were trying to put
too much into this model." "It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."
"What's it for?" "It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain,
loneliness and pride."
"You're a genius," said the angel.
"The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there."

By Erma Bombeck

Friday, May 09, 2008

Went to Sea World today...

oh we had such FUN!! we went with our great friends Holly and her boys....and alex got his WISH and he was able to GET WET!! he had SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FUN!! it was still COLD but with the sun, he just had a blast...just a blast!! it was so awesome to see him playing and running around the area with his friends....we just stayed BACK and watched....matthew was so cute....we decided to put him in his wagon instead of his wheelchair/stroller...well, we get into the gate and HE IS FALLING ASLEEP ALREADY!! so, i ask him before we go any further, "do you want to be in your wagon?" and he shakes his head NO, then i ask "do you want to go in your stroller?" he said YES! matthew UNDERSTANDS EVERYTHING....he is THERE with us, THANK YOU GOD! anyway, so his poor nurse had to take him all the way back to the truck to change out the stroller...and as soon as he was walking back from the car, matthew fell asleep!! anyway, my buddy and i, we had a blast just talking and laughing watching the boys play..matthew slept thru it all until about an hour in....i mentioned POPCORN and he was smiling and YELLING for it! he LOVES POPCORN just like ME!! :) i guess he comes by it NATURALLY!!


Tuesday, May 06, 2008

WELL.....there has been a delay....

my beautiful dh who was going to be home SOON, is being DELAYED due to something that the whole of the military had ABSOLUTELY no control over!!! it is absolutely FUSTRATING...i sure wish this had happend NEXT MONTH....GGGRRRRRRR....we don't know WHEN....i wish i could say MORE about it but it is truely FUSTRATING because it was not something PLANNED...not something they can controlled.....but JUST i am not sure WHEN WHEN WHEN...just sooooo upseting because i could almost FEEL him and can almost SMELL him and i can almost TASTE him....i can't even describe to anyone how i feel right now....just so sad and fustrated...we are over 11 months into this deployment and to be SOOOO CLOSE and for thing at the VERY last moment to go wrong...words can not DESCRIBE how i feel right long as he COMES HOME SAFETLY is the main thing at this point....

anyway, any PRAYERS for these troops...those waiting to GO to their duty station to RELIEVE those troops having done their duty and ready to GET HOME TO THEIR FAMILIES.......for this "issue" to be resolved QUICKLY and that things to get back on SCHEDULED would be soooooo appreciated....

Saturday, May 03, 2008


well, WE HAD A GREAT TIME TODAY!!! we actually had such an awesome STARLIGHT ESCAPE!! today, we headed 110 miles outside of san antonio to LA GRANGE, TX!! it was my mil & my boys and was a BEAUTIFUL DAY!!! it was not a cloud in the sky but it was windy but OH how cool it was...just PERFECT!!! we had not made it out to a STARLIGHT FOUNDATION adventure since march so we were SOOOOOOOO in need on a get away!!! we had some drama because alex, when he doen't know what we are goint to do, will tend to PANIC and say that he doesn't want to do it and just keep repeating it until he lets it take over....well, he said he did NOT like cowboy parties and he did not want to go!! after i told him he could stay with grandma if he wanted, he said, NO, i will GO...i just told him he did not even KNOW what type of party this was!!! so, we make the trip which was REALLY nice and we got there around 1200 and it was at this RANCH out there and the coordinator said that there would be some long horns that you couldn't miss...WOW, was she right!! they were HUGE BEYOND anything!! so, we get there and at first i thought, oh, this will NOT work...i had matthew in his chair and it was ROUGH terrain but we managed and as we sat down, we were given BACKPACKS for the boys (really nice) with stuff in them, each of them got a STICK HORSE (TOOO CUTE! and some where HANDMADE!), they got cowboy hats....we got to eat some YUMMY BBQ with all the fixings and just sit and enjoy the show..they had a choir out of LA GRANGE sing for us (beautiful) and then me and alex & matthew got to go on a FUN HAYRIDE!! we got pulled all over the ranch, got to touch a pony, see some long horns and just have a GREAT TIME!! then we got back and we got to eat some CAKE (my favorite!!) and then they gave us some KITES and we got to FLY THEM and they were SOOOO MUCH FUN!! and they were beautiful, everyone's flying so high in the sky!! the one that did NOT want to go, had a BLAST!!! and so did we all! another wonderful ESCAPE ADVENTURE put on by STARLIGHT!!! it was so much fun seeing all the kids have such a great time...we had a great little trip and it all turned out great!! here are some pictures of ourday!!..

matthew pointing...

my mil & josh with the choir behind...

alex haming it up for the camera..

some long horns on the ranch....

kites in the sky in front of the HUGE HUGE LONG HORNS!! :) look at that BEAUTIFUL texas sky!!!

Friday, May 02, 2008

update on matthew....

well, we have been REALLY BUSY this week with has been a bit crazy to be exact!!! matthew still has a rash so on thursday we had a MARATHON of a day!!! well, first, i didn't have a nurse that day so i was on my own with my 3 kiddos...we left the house at 9am because matthew had his FIRST appt with his new ENT...he actually said that he was very happy with matthew sinus and that everything looked GREAT!! he said he had great anatomy!! YIPPEE!! he also said that his tonsils and adnoid sites looked great, so there goes my theory about the T&A!!! well, while i was out, i called his pedi and asked if he wanted to see matthew since he was STILL sick and i was in the area...he said, that he did so after our appt, we headed down the road to the PEDI....well, he was really surpised that he still had that rash ALL OVER!! so he prescribed ZANTAC becuase it is an H2 blocker but to continue benadryl because it is an H1 blocker?!?!?! anyway, did i mention that he is JUNKY AGAIN?! yep, it took him exactly 3 DAYS after getting off of his antibiotic (due to the reaction) for him to get JUNKY AGAIN!! fustrating!! he told me, "HE SOUNDS HORRIBLE!!!!!" when he was checking out his lungs!! and i told him, and he remembers that on MONDAY he was CLEAR AS A BELL!! i told him, that that is what is so fustrating to me...why is it that when he is on antibiotics, he is CLEAR and not JUNKY but since june, when he is off of them, he gets junky?!?!? what is the MYSTERY!!!! it is very fustrating for me as a parent because i HATE to see him SICK!! and that is all i have seen of him unless he is on an antibiotic!!! and i SURE don't think it is something he should be on for the REST OF HIS LIFE!! and i don't think he CAN be!!! so he wanted us to see his pulmonologist so off we go from there to ANOTHER drs appt!!! yep, 3 today and i was by myself!! so, we head over there and after spending close to 4 hours there, we leave there with ORAL STEROIDS (he is wheezing and junky all over), OMNICEPH AS A PROPHOLACTIC (AGAIN!)...fustrating!!! she did say after i gave her my FUSTRATION on the antibiotics she said that IT'S OK...not to worry that we are HAPPY that they take care of the problem becuase the worst case would have been that they DID NOT take care of his problem...which is true...she said that this to shall pass and GOD WILLING he will get over this....i love my son sooooo much and i am so sad to see him have to take so much med!! tonight, i felt crazy because i gave him 8 medications before he went to sleep!! YIKES! soooo much....

on a side note, tomorrow, my mil and the boys and i are heading out of town to a STARLIGHT STARBRIGHT EVENT in LA GRANGE, TX!! it is out at a RANCH and sounds like it will be a BLAST!! i will have to let ya'll know all about it tomorrow!!!